Chapter1
ItbeganinaWoman’sClubinLondonona
Şubat
Februaryafternoon—anuncomfortableclub,andamiserableafternoon—whenMrs.Wilkins,whohadcomedownfromHampsteadtoshopandhadlunchedatherclub,tookupTheTimesfromthetableinthesmoking-room,andrunningherlistlesseyedowntheAgonyColumnsawthis:.ToThosewhoAppreciateWistariaandSunshine.
SmallmediaevalItalianCastleontheshoresoftheMediterraneantobeLetFurnishedforthemonthofApril.
Necessaryservantsremain.
Z,Box1000,TheTimes.
Thatwasitsconception;
yet,asinthecaseofmanyanother,theconceiverwasunawareofitatthemoment.
So
tamamen
entirelyunawarewasMrs.WilkinsthatherAprilforthatyearhadthenandtherebeensettledforherthatshedroppedthenewspaperwithagesturethatwasbothirritatedandresigned,andwentovertothewindowandstareddrearilyoutatthedrippingstreet.Notforherweremediaevalcastles,eventhosethatarespeciallydescribedassmall.
NotforhertheshoresinApriloftheMediterranean,andthewistariaand
güneş
sunshine.Suchdelightswereonlyfortherich.
Yetthe
reklam
advertisementhadbeenaddressedtopersonswhoappreciatethesethings,sothatithadbeen,anyhow,addressedtootoher,forshecertainlyappreciatedthem;morethananybodyknew;
morethanshehadevertold.
Butshewaspoor.
Inthewholeworldshepossessedofherveryownonlyninetypounds,savedfromyeartoyear,putbycarefullypoundbypound,outofherdressallowance.
Shehadscrapedthissumtogetheratthesuggestionofherhusbandasa
kalkan
shieldandrefugeagainstayağmurlu
rainyday.Herdressallowance,givenherbyherfather,was£100ayear,sothatMrs.Wilkins’sclotheswerewhatherhusband,urginghertosave,called
mütevazı
modestandbecoming,andheracquaintancetoeachother,whentheyspokeofheratall,whichwasnadiren
seldomforshewasverynegligible,calledaperfectsight.Mr.
Wilkins,a
avukat
solicitor,encouragedthrift,exceptthatdalı
branchofitwhichgotintohisfood.Hedidnotcallthatthrift,hecalleditbadhousekeeping.
Butforthethriftwhich,like
güve
moth,penetratedintoMrs.Wilkins’sclothesandspoiltthem,hehadmuchövgü
praise.“Youneverknow,”hesaid,“whentherewillbea
yağmurlu
rainyday,andyoumaybeverygladtofindyouhaveanest-egg.Indeedwebothmay.”
LookingoutoftheclubwindowintoShaftesburyAvenue—herswasan
ekonomik
economicalclub,butconvenientforHampstead,whereshelived,andforShoolbred’s,wheresheshopped—Mrs.Wilkins,havingstoodtheresometimeverydrearily,hermind’seyeontheMediterraneaninApril,andthewistaria,andtheenviableopportunitiesoftherich,whileher
vücut
bodilyeyewatchedthereallyextremelyhorriblesootyrainfallingsürekli
steadilyonthehurryingumbrellasandsplashingomnibuses,suddenlywonderedwhetherperhapsthiswasnottheyağmurlu
rainydayMellersh—MellershwasMr.Wilkins—hadsooftenencouragedhertopreparefor,andwhethertogetoutofsuchaclimateandintothesmallmediaevalcastlewasn’tperhapswhatProvidencehadallalongintendedhertodowithhersavings.Partofhersavings,ofcourse;
perhapsquiteasmallpart.
Thecastle,beingmediaeval,mightalsobedilapidated,anddilapidationsweresurelycheap.
Shewouldn’tintheleastmindafewofthem,becauseyoudidn’tpayfordilapidationswhichwerealreadythere;
onthecontrary—byreducingthepriceyouhadtopaytheyreallypaidyou.
Butwhatnonsensetothinkofit...
Sheturnedawayfromthewindowwiththesame
hareketi
gestureofmingledirritationandresignationwithwhichshehadlaiddownTheTimes,andcrossedtheroomtowardsthedoorwiththeintentionofgettinghermackintoshandumbrellaandfightingherwayintooneoftheovercrowdedomnibusesandgoingtoShoolbred’sonherwayhomeandbuyingsomesolesforMellersh’sdinner—Mellershwasdifficultwithfishandlikedonlysoles,exceptsalmon—whenshebeheldMrs.Arbuthnot,awomansheknewbysightasalsolivinginHampsteadandbelongingtotheclub,sittingatthetableinthemiddleoftheroomonwhichthenewspapersandmagazineswerekept,absorbed,inherturn,inthefirstpageofTheTimes.Mrs.
WilkinshadneveryetspokentoMrs.Arbuthnot,whobelongedtooneofthe
çeşitli
variouschurchsets,andwhoanalysed,classified,dividedandregisteredthepoor;whereassheandMellersh,whentheydidgoout,wenttothepartiesofimpressionistpainters,ofwhominHampsteadthereweremany.
Mellershhadasisterwhohadmarriedoneofthemandliveduponthe
Heath
Heath,andbecauseofthisittifak
allianceMrs.Wilkinswasdrawnintoacirclewhichwashighlydoğal
unnaturaltoher,andshehadlearnedtodreadpictures.Shehadtosaythingsaboutthem,andshedidn’tknowwhattosay.
Sheusedtomurmur,“Marvellous,”andfeelthatitwasnotenough.
Butnobodyminded.
Nobodylistened.
NobodytookanynoticeofMrs.Wilkins.
Shewasthekindofpersonwhoisnotnoticedatparties.
Herclothes,infestedbythrift,madeher
neredeyse
practicallyinvisible;herfacewasnon-arresting;
herconversationwasreluctant;
shewasshy.
Andifone’sclothesandfaceandconversationareallnegligible,thoughtMrs.Wilkins,whorecognisedherdisabilities,what,atparties,isthereleftofone?
AlsoshewasalwayswithWilkins,thatclean-shaven,fine-lookingman,whogaveaparty,
sadece
merelybycomingtoit,agreatair.Wilkinswasveryrespectable.
Hewasknowntobehighlythoughtofbyhisseniorpartners.
Hissister’scircleadmiredhim.
Hepronouncedadequately
zeki
intelligentjudgmentsonartandartists.Hewaspithy;
hewasprudent;
heneversaidawordtoomuch,nor,ontheotherhand,didheeversayawordtoolittle.
Heproducedtheimpressionofkeepingcopiesofeverythinghesaid;
andhewassoobviouslyreliablethatitoftenhappenedthatpeoplewhomethimatthesepartiesbecamediscontentedwiththeirownsolicitors,andafteraperiodofrestlessnessextricatedthemselvesandwenttoWilkins.
NaturallyMrs.Wilkinswasblottedout.
“She,”saidhissister,withsomethingherselfofthe
yargı
judicial,thedigested,andthefinalinhermanner,“shouldstayathome.”ButWilkinscouldnotleavehiswifeathome.
Hewasafamilysolicitor,andallsuchhavewivesandshowthem.
Withhisintheweekhewenttoparties,andwithhisonSundayshewenttochurch.
Beingstill
oldukça
fairlyyoung—hewasthirty-nine—andambitiousofoldladies,ofwhomhehadnotyetacquiredinhispracticeayeterli
sufficientnumber,hecouldnotaffordtomisschurch,anditwastherethatMrs.Wilkinsbecamefamiliar,thoughneverthroughwords,withMrs.Arbuthnot.Shesawhermarshallingthechildrenofthepoorintopews.
ShewouldcomeinattheheadoftheprocessionfromtheSundaySchoolexactlyfiveminutesbeforethe
korosu
choir,andgetherboysandgirlsneatlyfittedintotheirallottedseats,anddownontheirlittlekneesintheirön
preliminaryprayer,andupagainontheirfeetjustas,totheşişme
swellingorgan,thevestrydooropened,andthekorosu
choirandclergy,bigwiththelitaniesandcommandmentstheywerepresentlytorollout,emerged.Shehadasadface,yetshewasevidently
verimli
efficient.ThecombinationusedtomakeMrs.Wilkinswonder,forshehadbeentoldbyMellersh,ondayswhenshehadonlybeenabletogetplaice,thatifonewere
verimli
efficientonewouldn’tbedepressed,andthatifonedoesone’sjobwellonebecomesotomatik olarak
automaticallybrightandbrisk.AboutMrs.Arbuthnottherewasnothingbrightandbrisk,thoughmuchinherwaywiththeSundaySchoolchildrenthatwas
otomatik
automatic;butwhenMrs.Wilkins,turningfromthewindow,caughtsightofherintheclubshewasnotbeing
otomatik
automaticatall,butwaslookingfixedlyatoneportionofthefirstpageofTheTimes,holdingthepaperquitestill,hereyesnotmoving.Shewasjuststaring;
andherface,asusual,wasthefaceofapatientanddisappointedMadonna.
Obeyinganimpulseshewonderedatevenwhileobeyingit,Mrs.Wilkins,theshyandthe
isteksiz
reluctant,insteadofproceedingasshehadintendedtothecloakroomandfromthencetoSchoolbred’sinsearchofMellersh’sfish,stoppedatthetableandsatdownexactlyoppositeMrs.Arbuthnot,towhomshehadneveryetspokeninherlife.Itwasoneofthoselong,
dar
narrowrefectorytables,sothattheywerequiteclosetoeachother.Mrs.
Arbuthnot,however,didnotlookup.
Shecontinuedtogaze,witheyesthatseemedtobedreaming,atonespotonlyofTheTimes.
Mrs.
Wilkinswatchedheraminute,tryingtoscrewupcouragetospeaktoher.
Shewantedtoaskherifshehadseentheadvertisement.
Shedidnotknowwhyshewantedtoaskherthis,butshewantedto.
Howstupidnottobeabletospeaktoher.
Shelookedsokind.
Shelookedsounhappy.
Whycouldn’ttwounhappypeoplerefresheachotherontheirwaythroughthis
tozlu
dustybusinessoflifebyalittletalk—real,naturaltalk,aboutwhattheyfelt,whattheywouldhaveliked,whattheystilltriedtohope?AndshecouldnothelpthinkingthatMrs.Arbuthnot,too,wasreadingthatverysameadvertisement.
Hereyeswereontheverypartofthepaper.
Wasshe,too,picturingwhatitwouldbelike—the
rengi
colour,thefragrance,thelight,thesoftlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks?Renk
Colour,fragrance,light,sea;insteadofShaftesbury
Caddesi
Avenue,andthewetomnibuses,andthefishdepartmentatShoolbred’s,andtheTubetoHampstead,anddinner,andto-morrowthesameandthedayafterthesameandalwaysthesame...SuddenlyMrs.Wilkinsfoundherselfleaningacrossthetable.
“Areyoureadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria?”
sheheardherselfasking.
Doğal
NaturallyMrs.Arbuthnotwassurprised;butshewasnothalfsomuchsurprisedasMrs.Wilkinswasatherselfforasking.
Mrs.
Arbuthnothadnotyettoherknowledgeseteyesontheshabby,lank,loosely-put-togetherfiguresittingoppositeher,withitssmallfreckledfaceandbig
gri
greyeyesalmostdisappearingunderasmashed-downwet-weatherhat,andshegazedatheramomentwithoutanswering.Shewasreadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria,orratherhadreadaboutittenminutesbefore,andsincethenhadbeenlostindreams—oflight,of
renk
colour,offragrance,ofthesoftlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks...“Whydoyouaskmethat?”
shesaidinhergravevoice,forhertrainingofandbythepoorhadmadehergraveandpatient.
Mrs.
Wilkinsflushedandlookedexcessivelyshyandfrightened.
“Oh,onlybecauseIsawittoo,andIthoughtperhaps—Ithoughtsomehow—”
shestammered.
WhereuponMrs.Arbuthnot,hermindbeingusedtogettingpeopleintolistsanddivisions,fromhabitconsidered,asshegazedthoughtfullyatMrs.Wilkins,underwhatheading,supposingshehadtoclassifyher,shecouldmostproperlybeput.
“AndIknowyoubysight,”wentonMrs.Wilkins,who,likealltheshy,onceshewasstartedplungedon,frighteningherselftomoreandmorespeechbythesheersoundofwhatshehadsaidlastinherears.
“EverySunday—IseeyoueverySundayinchurch—”.
“Inchurch?”
echoedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Andthisseemssuchawonderfulthing—thisadvertisementaboutthewistaria—and—”.
Mrs.
Wilkins,whomusthavebeenatleastthirty,brokeoffandwriggledinherchairwiththemovementofan
garip
awkwardandembarrassedschoolgirl.“Itseemssowonderful,”shewentoninakindofburst,“and—itissuchamiserableday...”
AndthenshesatlookingatMrs.Arbuthnotwiththeeyesofanimprisoneddog.
“Thispoorthing,”thoughtMrs.Arbuthnot,whoselifewasspentinhelpingandalleviating,“needsadvice.”
Sheaccordinglypreparedherself
sabırla
patientlytogiveit.“Ifyouseemeinchurch,”shesaid,
nazik
kindlyandattentively,“IsupposeyouliveinHampsteadtoo?”“Ohyes,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
Andsherepeated,herheadonitslongthinneckdroopingalittleasiftherecollectionofHampsteadbowedher,“Ohyes.”
“Where?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot,who,whenadvicewasneeded,
doğal
naturallyfirstproceededtocollectthefacts.ButMrs.Wilkins,layingherhand
yumuşak
softlyandcaressinglyonthepartofTheTimeswheretheadvertisementwas,asthoughthemereprintedwordsofitwereprecious,onlysaid,“Perhapsthat’swhythisseemssowonderful.”“No—Ithinkthat’swonderfulanyhow,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,forgettingfactsand
hafifçe
faintlysighing.“Thenyouwerereadingit?”
“Yes,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,hereyesgoing
rüya
dreamyagain.“Wouldn’titbewonderful?”
murmuredMrs.Wilkins.
“Wonderful,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot.
Herface,whichhadlitup,fadedintopatienceagain.
“Verywonderful,”shesaid.
“Butit’snousewastingone’stimethinkingofsuchthings.”
“Oh,butitis,”wasMrs.Wilkins’squick,surprisingreply;
surprisingbecauseitwassomuchunliketherestofher—thecharacterlesscoatand
etek
skirt,thecrumpledhat,theundecidedwispofhairstragglingout.“Andjusttheconsideringofthemisworthwhileinitself—suchachangefromHampstead—andsometimesIbelieve—Ireallydobelieve—ifoneconsidershardenoughonegetsthings.”
Mrs.
Arbuthnotobservedher
sabırla
patiently.Inwhatcategorywouldshe,supposingshehadto,puther?
“Perhaps,”shesaid,leaningforwardalittle,“youwilltellmeyourname.
Ifwearetobefriends”—shesmiledhergravesmile—“asIhopeweare,wehadbetterbeginatthebeginning.”
“Ohyes—howkindofyou.
I’mMrs.Wilkins,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Idon’texpect,”sheadded,flushing,asMrs.Arbuthnotsaidnothing,“thatitconveysanythingtoyou.
Sometimesit—itdoesn’tseemtoconveyanythingtomeeither.
But”—shelookedroundwithamovementofseekinghelp—“IamMrs.Wilkins.”
Shedidnotlikehername.
Itwasamean,smallname,withakindoffacetious
bükülme
twist,shethought,aboutitsendliketheyukarı
upwardcurveofapugdog’stail.Thereitwas,however.
Therewasnodoinganythingwithit.
WilkinsshewasandWilkinsshewouldremain;
andthoughherhusbandencouragedhertogiveitonalloccasionsasMrs.Mellersh-Wilkinssheonlydidthatwhenhewaswithinearshot,forshethoughtMellershmadeWilkinsworse,emphasisingitinthewayChatsworthonthegate-postsofavillaemphasisesthevilla.
WhenfirsthesuggestedsheshouldaddMellershshehadobjectedfortheabovereason,andafterapause—Mellershwasmuchtooprudenttospeakexceptafterapause,duringwhichpresumablyhewastakingacarefulmentalcopyofhiscomingobservation—hesaid,muchdispleased,“ButIamnotavilla,”andlookedatherashelookswhohopes,forperhapsthehundredthtime,thathemaynothavemarriedafool.
Ofcoursehewasnota
villa
villa,Mrs.Wilkinsassuredhim;shehadneversupposedhewas;
shehadnotdreamedofmeaning...
shewasonlyjustthinking...
Themoresheexplainedthemore
ciddi
earnestbecameMellersh’shope,familiartohimbythistime,forhehadthenbeenahusbandfortwoyears,thathemightnotbyanychancehavemarriedafool;andtheyhadaprolonged
kavga
quarrel,ifthatcanbecalledakavga
quarrelwhichisconductedwithdignifiedsilenceononesideandearnestözürle
apologyontheother,astowhetherornoMrs.WilkinshadintendedtosuggestthatMr.Wilkinswasavilla
villa.“Ibelieve,”shehadthoughtwhenitwasatlastover—ittookalongwhile—“thatanybodywould
kavga
quarrelaboutanythingwhenthey’venotleftoffbeingtogetherforasingledayfortwowholeyears.Whatwebothneedisaholiday.”
“Myhusband,”wentonMrs.WilkinstoMrs.Arbuthnot,tryingtothrowsomelightonherself,“isa
avukat
solicitor.He—”
ShecastaboutforsomethingshecouldsayelucidatoryofMellersh,andfound:
“He’sveryhandsome.”
“Well,”saidMrs.Arbuthnotkindly,“thatmustbeagreatpleasuretoyou.”
“Why?”
askedMrs.Wilkins.
“Because,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,alittletakenaback,for
sürekli
constantintercoursewiththepoorhadaccustomedhertohaveherpronouncementsacceptedwithoutquestion,“becausebeauty—handsomeness—isagiftlikeanyother,andifitisproperlyused—”.Shetrailedoffintosilence.
Mrs.Wilkins’sgreat
gri
greyeyeswerefixedonher,anditseemedsuddenlytoMrs.Arbuthnotthatperhapsshewasbecomingcrystallisedintoahabitofexposition,andofexpositionafterthemannerofnursemaids,throughhavinganaudiencethatcouldn’tbutagree,thatwouldbeafraid,ifitwished,tointerrupt,thatdidn’tknow,thatwas,infact,athermercy.ButMrs.Wilkinswasnotlistening;
forjustthen,
saçma
absurdasitseemed,apicturehadflashedacrossherbrain,andthereweretwofiguresinitsittingtogetherunderagreattrailingwistariathatstretchedacrossthebranchesofatreeshedidn’tknow,anditwasherselfandMrs.Arbuthnot—shesawthem—shesawthem.Andbehindthem,brightin
güneş
sunshine,wereoldgreywalls—themediaevalcastle—shesawit—theywerethere...ShethereforestaredatMrs.Arbuthnotanddidnothearawordshesaid.
AndMrs.ArbuthnotstaredtooatMrs.Wilkins,arrestedbytheexpressiononherface,whichwassweptbytheexcitementofwhatshesaw,andwasasluminousandtremulousunderitaswaterinsunlightwhenitisruffledbyagustofwind.
Atthismoment,ifshehadbeenataparty,Mrs.Wilkinswouldhavebeenlookedatwithinterest.
Theystaredateachother;
Mrs.Arbuthnotsurprised,inquiringly,Mrs.Wilkinswiththeeyesofsomeonewhohashada
vahiy
revelation.Ofcourse.
Thatwashowitcouldbedone.
Sheherself,shebyherself,couldn’taffordit,andwouldn’tbeable,evenifshecouldaffordit,togothereallalone;
butsheandMrs.Arbuthnottogether...
Sheleanedacrossthetable.
“Whydon’twetryandgetit?”
she
fısıldadı
whispered.Mrs.
Arbuthnotbecameevenmorewide-eyed.
“Getit?”
sherepeated.
“Yes,”saidMrs.Wilkins,stillasthoughshewereafraidofbeingoverheard.
“NotjustsithereandsayHowwonderful,andthengohometoHampsteadwithouthavingputoutafinger—gohomejustasusualandseeaboutthedinnerandthefishjustaswe’vebeendoingforyearsandyearsandwillgoondoingforyearsandyears.
Infact,”saidMrs.Wilkins,flushingtotherootsofherhair,forthesoundofwhatshewassaying,ofwhatwascomingpouringout,
korkuttu
frightenedher,andyetshecouldn’tstop,“Iseenoendtoit.Thereisnoendtoit.
Sothatthereoughttobeabreak,thereoughttobeintervals—ineverybody’sinterests.
Why,itwouldreallybebeingunselfishtogoawayandbehappyforalittle,becausewewouldcomebacksomuch
güzel
nicer.Yousee,afterabiteverybodyneedsaholiday.”
“But—howdoyoumean,getit?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Takeit,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Takeit?”