Notes from the Underground | Progressive Translation Books for Spanish B2 Learners

Notes from the Underground | Progressive Translation Books for Spanish B2 Learners

Unlock the potential of this modern translation approach, designed to enhance your language learning experience. By allowing you to choose your difficulty level, it guarantees a personalized challenge that's suited to your progress. This method promotes comprehension by encouraging you to infer the meaning of new words from context, rather than relying heavily on direct translations. Though some translations are obscured to stimulate guessing, it's perfectly fine to consult a dictionary when needed. This technique combines challenge and support, making language learning fun and effective. Explore these translated classics to enjoy literature while advancing your language skills.

I
Iamasickman....
Iamaspitefulman.
Iamanunattractiveman.
Ibelievemy
hígado
liver
isdiseased.
However,Iknownothingatallaboutmydisease,anddonotknowforcertainwhatailsme.
Idon’t
consulto
consult
adoctorforit,andneverhave,thoughIhavearespectformedicineanddoctors.
Besides,Iamextremely
supersticioso
superstitious
,sufficientlysotorespectmedicine,anyway(Iamwell-educatedenoughnottobe
supersticioso
superstitious
,butIamsuperstitious).
No,Irefuseto
consultar
consult
adoctorfromspite.
Thatyouprobablywillnotunderstand.
Well,Iunderstandit,though.
Ofcourse,Ican’texplainwhoitis
precisamente
precisely
thatIammortifyinginthiscasebymy
rencor
spite
:
IamperfectlywellawarethatIcannot“payout”thedoctorsbynotconsultingthem;
IknowbetterthananyonethatbyallthisIamonly
lastimando
injuring
myselfandnooneelse.
Butstill,ifIdon’t
consulto
consult
adoctoritisfrom
rencor
spite
.
Myliverisbad,well—letitgetworse!
Ihavebeengoingonlikethatforalongtime—twentyyears.
NowIamforty.
Iusedtobeinthegovernmentservice,butamnolonger.
Iwasaspitefulofficial.
Iwasrudeandtookpleasureinbeingso.
Ididnottakebribes,yousee,soIwasboundtofindarecompenseinthat,atleast.
(Apoorjest,butIwillnotscratchitout.
Iwroteitthinkingitwouldsoundverywitty;
butnowthatIhaveseenmyselfthatIonlywantedtoshowoffina
despreciable
despicable
way,Iwillnotscratchitoutonpurpose!)
WhenpetitionersusedtocomeforinformationtothetableatwhichIsat,Iusedtogrindmyteethatthem,andfelt
intenso
intense
enjoymentwhenIsucceededinmakinganybodyunhappy.
Ialmostdidsucceed.
Forthemostparttheywerealltimidpeople—ofcourse,theywerepetitioners.
ButoftheuppishonestherewasoneofficerinparticularIcouldnot
soportar
endure
.
Hesimplywouldnotbe
humilde
humble
,andclankedhisswordinadisgustingway.
Icarriedonafeudwithhimforeighteenmonthsoverthatsword.
AtlastIgotthebetterofhim.
Heleftoffclankingit.
Thathappenedinmyyouth,though.
Butdoyouknow,gentlemen,whatwasthechiefpointaboutmy
rencor
spite
?
Why,thewholepoint,therealstingofitlayinthefactthat
continuamente
continually
,eveninthemomentoftheacutest
bazo
spleen
,IwasinwardlyconsciouswithshamethatIwasnotonlynotaspitefulbutnotevenanembitteredman,thatIwassimplyscaringsparrowsatrandomandamusingmyselfbyit.
Imight
espuma
foam
atthemouth,butbringmeadolltoplaywith,givemeacupofteawithsugarinit,andmaybeIshouldbeappeased.
Imightevenbe
genuinamente
genuinely
touched,thoughprobablyIshouldgrindmyteethatmyselfafterwardsandlieawakeatnightwithshameformonthsafter.
Thatwasmyway.
IwaslyingwhenIsaidjustnowthatIwasaspitefulofficial.
Iwaslyingfrom
rencor
spite
.
Iwassimplyamusingmyselfwiththepetitionersandwiththeofficer,andinrealityInevercouldbecomespiteful.
Iwas
consciente
conscious
everymomentinmyselfofmany,verymanyelementsabsolutelyoppositetothat.
Ifeltthem
positivamente
positively
swarminginme,theseoppositeelements.
Iknewthattheyhadbeenswarminginmeallmylifeand
anhelando
craving
someoutletfromme,butIwouldnotletthem,wouldnotletthem,
a propósito
purposely
wouldnotletthemcomeout.
TheytormentedmetillIwasashamed:
theydrovemetoconvulsionsand—sickenedme,atlast,howtheysickenedme!
Now,arenotyoufancying,gentlemen,thatIamexpressing
remordimiento
remorse
forsomethingnow,thatIamaskingyour
perdón
forgiveness
forsomething?
Iamsureyouarefancyingthat...
However,I
aseguro
assure
youIdonotcareifyouare....
ItwasnotonlythatIcouldnotbecomespiteful,Ididnotknowhowtobecomeanything;
neitherspitefulnorkind,neithera
sinvergüenza
rascal
noranhonestman,neitheraheronoran
insecto
insect
.
Now,Iamlivingoutmylifeinmycorner,tauntingmyselfwiththespitefulanduseless
consuelo
consolation
thatanintelligentmancannotbecomeanythingseriously,anditisonlythefoolwhobecomesanything.
Yes,amaninthenineteenthcenturymustand
moralmente
morally
oughttobepre-eminentlyacharacterlesscreature;
amanofcharacter,an
activo
active
manispre-eminentlyalimitedcreature.
Thatismy
convicción
conviction
offortyyears.
Iamfortyyearsoldnow,andyouknowfortyyearsisawholelifetime;
youknowitisextremeoldage.
Tolivelongerthanfortyyearsisbadmanners,is
vulgar
vulgar
,immoral.
Whodoeslivebeyondforty?
Answerthat,sincerelyandhonestlyIwilltellyouwhodo:
foolsandworthlessfellows.
Itellalloldmenthattotheirface,allthesevenerableoldmen,allthesesilver-hairedandreverendseniors!
Itellthewholeworldthattoitsface!
Ihavearighttosayso,forIshallgoonlivingtosixtymyself.
Toseventy!
Toeighty!
Stay,letmetakebreath...
Youimaginenodoubt,gentlemen,thatIwanttoamuseyou.
Youaremistakeninthat,too.
Iambynomeanssuchamirthfulpersonasyouimagine,orasyoumayimagine;
however,
irritado
irritated
byallthisbabble(andIfeelthatyouare
irritado
irritated)
youthinkfittoaskmewhoIam—thenmyansweris,Iamacollegiateassessor.
IwasintheservicethatImighthavesomethingtoeat(andsolelyforthatreason),andwhenlastyearadistantrelationleftmesixthousandroublesinhiswillIimmediately
retiré
retired
fromtheserviceandsettleddowninmycorner.
Iusedtoliveinthiscornerbefore,butnowIhavesettleddowninit.
Myroomisawretched,
horrible
horrid
oneintheoutskirtsofthetown.
Myservantisanoldcountry-woman,ill-naturedfrom
estupidez
stupidity
,and,moreover,thereisalwaysanastysmellabouther.
IamtoldthatthePetersburg
clima
climate
isbadforme,andthatwithmysmallmeansitisveryexpensivetoliveinPetersburg.
Iknowallthatbetterthanallthesesageandexperiencedcounsellorsandmonitors....
ButIamremaininginPetersburg;
IamnotgoingawayfromPetersburg!
Iamnotgoingawaybecause...
ech!
Why,itisabsolutelynomatterwhetherIamgoingawayornotgoingaway.
Butwhatcanadecentmanspeakofwithmostpleasure?
Answer:
Ofhimself.
II
Iwantnowtotellyou,gentlemen,whetheryoucaretohearitornot,whyIcouldnotevenbecomean
insecto
insect
.
Itellyousolemnly,thatIhavemanytimestriedtobecomean
insecto
insect
.
ButIwasnotequaleventothat.
Iswear,gentlemen,thattobetoo
consciente
conscious
isanillness—arealthorough-going
enfermedad
illness
.
Forman’severydayneeds,itwouldhavebeenquiteenoughtohavetheordinaryhuman
conciencia
consciousness
,thatis,halforaquarteroftheamountwhichfallstothelotofa
cultivado
cultivated
manofourunhappynineteenthcentury,especiallyonewhohasthe
fatal
fatal
ill-lucktoinhabitPetersburg,themosttheoreticaland
intencional
intentional
townonthewholeterrestrial
globo
globe
.
(Thereareintentionalandunintentionaltowns.)
Itwouldhavebeenquiteenough,for
ejemplo
instance
,tohavetheconsciousnessbywhichallso-calleddirectpersonsandmenofactionlive.
IbetyouthinkIamwritingallthisfromaffectation,tobewittyatthe
expensas
expense
ofmenofaction;
andwhatismore,thatfromill-bredaffectation,Iamclankingaswordlikemyofficer.
But,gentlemen,whoevercanpridehimselfonhisdiseasesandevenswaggeroverthem?
Though,afterall,everyonedoesdothat;
peopledopridethemselvesontheirdiseases,andIdo,maybe,morethananyone.
Wewillnot
disputaremos
dispute
it;
mycontentionwasabsurd.
ButyetIamfirmly
convencido
persuaded
thatagreatdealof
conciencia
consciousness
,everysortofconsciousness,infact,isadisease.
Isticktothat.
Letusleavethat,too,foraminute.
Tellmethis:
whydoesithappenthatatthevery,yes,attheverymomentswhenIammostcapableoffeelingeveryrefinementofallthatis“sublimeandbeautiful,”astheyusedtosayatonetime,itwould,asthoughofdesign,happentomenotonlytofeelbuttodosuchuglythings,suchthat...
Well,inshort,actionsthatall,perhaps,commit;
butwhich,asthough
a propósito
purposely
,occurredtomeattheverytimewhenIwasmost
consciente
conscious
thattheyoughtnottobecommitted.
Themore
consciente
conscious
Iwasofgoodnessandofallthatwas“sublimeandbeautiful,”themoredeeplyI
hundía
sank
intomymireandthemorereadyIwasto
hundía
sink
initaltogether.
Butthechiefpointwasthatallthiswas,asitwere,not
accidental
accidental
inme,butasthoughitwereboundtobeso.
Itwasasthoughitweremymostnormalcondition,andnotintheleastdiseaseordepravity,sothatatlastalldesireinmetostruggleagainstthisdepravitypassed.
Itendedbymyalmostbelieving(perhapsactuallybelieving)thatthiswasperhapsmynormalcondition.
Butatfirst,inthebeginning,whatagoniesI
soporté
endured
inthatstruggle!
Ididnotbelieveitwasthesamewithotherpeople,andallmylifeIhidthisfactaboutmyselfasasecret.
Iwasashamed(evennow,perhaps,Iamashamed):
Igottothepointoffeelingasortofsecret
anormal
abnormal
,despicableenjoymentinreturninghometomycorneronsomedisgustingPetersburgnight,acutely
consciente
conscious
thatthatdayIhadcommittedaloathsomeactionagain,thatwhatwasdonecouldneverbe
deshecho
undone
,andsecretly,inwardlygnawing,gnawingatmyselfforit,tearingand
consumir
consuming
myselftillatlastthe
amargura
bitterness
turnedintoasortofshamefulaccursed
dulzura
sweetness
,andatlast—intopositivereal
disfrute
enjoyment
!
Yes,intoenjoyment,into
disfrute
enjoyment
!
Iinsistuponthat.
IhavespokenofthisbecauseIkeepwantingtoknowforafactwhetherotherpeoplefeelsuch
disfrute
enjoyment
?
Iwillexplain;
the
disfrute
enjoyment
wasjustfromthetoointense
conciencia
consciousness
ofone’sowndegradation;
itwasfromfeelingoneselfthatonehadreachedthelast
barrera
barrier
,thatitwashorrible,butthatitcouldnotbeotherwise;
thattherewasnoescapeforyou;
thatyounevercouldbecomeadifferentman;
thateveniftimeandfaithwerestillleftyoutochangeintosomethingdifferentyouwouldmostlikelynotwishtochange;
orifyoudidwishto,eventhenyouwoulddonothing;
becauseperhapsinrealitytherewasnothingforyoutochangeinto.
Andtheworstofitwas,andthe
raíz
root
ofitall,thatitwasallinaccordwiththenormalfundamentallawsofover-acute
conciencia
consciousness
,andwiththeinertiathatwasthedirectresultofthoselaws,andthatconsequentlyonewasnotonly
incapaz
unable
tochangebutcoulddoabsolutelynothing.
Thusitwouldfollow,astheresultof
aguda
acute
consciousness,thatoneisnottoblameinbeinga
sinvergüenza
scoundrel
;
asthoughthatwereany
consuelo
consolation
tothescoundreloncehehascometorealisethatheactuallyisa
sinvergüenza
scoundrel
.
Butenough....
Ech,Ihavetalkedalotofnonsense,butwhathaveIexplained?
Howis
goce
enjoyment
inthistobeexplained?
ButIwillexplainit.
Iwillgettothebottomofit!
ThatiswhyIhavetakenupmypen....
I,for
ejemplo
instance
,haveagreatdealofamourpropre.
Iamassuspiciousand
propenso
prone
totakeoffenceasahumpbackora
enano
dwarf
.
ButuponmywordIsometimeshavehadmomentswhenifIhadhappenedtobeslappedinthefaceIshould,perhaps,havebeen
positivamente
positively
gladofit.
Isay,in
serio
earnest
,thatIshouldprobablyhavebeenableto
descubrir
discover
eveninthata
peculiar
peculiar
sortofenjoyment—theenjoyment,ofcourse,of
desesperación
despair
;
butindespairtherearethemostintenseenjoyments,especiallywhenoneisveryacutely
consciente
conscious
ofthehopelessnessofone’sposition.
Andwhenoneisslappedintheface—whythenthe
conciencia
consciousness
ofbeingrubbedintoa
pulpa
pulp
wouldpositivelyoverwhelmone.
Theworstofitis,lookatitwhichwayonewill,itstillturnsoutthatIwasalwaysthemosttoblameineverything.
Andwhatismosthumiliatingofall,toblamefornofaultofmyownbut,sotosay,throughthelawsofnature.
Inthefirstplace,toblamebecauseIamclevererthananyofthepeople
rodean
surrounding
me.
(Ihavealwaysconsideredmyselfclevererthananyofthepeople
rodean
surrounding
me,andsometimes,wouldyoubelieveit,havebeen
positivamente
positively
ashamedofit.
Atanyrate,Ihaveallmylife,asitwere,turnedmyeyesawayandnevercouldlookpeoplestraightintheface.)
Toblame,finally,becauseevenifIhadhadmagnanimity,Ishouldonlyhavehadmoresufferingfromthesenseofitsuselessness.
Ishouldcertainlyhaveneverbeenabletodoanythingfrombeingmagnanimous—neithertoforgive,formyassailantwouldperhapshave
abofeteado
slapped
mefromthelawsofnature,andonecannotforgivethelawsofnature;
nortoforget,forevenifitwereowingtothelawsofnature,itis
insulto
insulting
allthesame.
Finally,evenifIhadwantedtobeanythingbutmagnanimous,haddesiredonthecontrarytorevengemyselfonmyassailant,IcouldnothaverevengedmyselfonanyoneforanythingbecauseIshouldcertainlyneverhavemadeupmymindtodoanything,evenifIhadbeenableto.
WhyshouldInothavemadeupmymind?
III
Withpeoplewhoknowhowtorevengethemselvesandtostandupforthemselvesingeneral,howisitdone?
Why,whentheyarepossessed,letussuppose,bythefeelingofrevenge,thenforthetimethereisnothingelsebutthatfeelingleftintheirwholebeing.
Suchagentlemansimplydashesstraightforhisobjectlikeaninfuriatedbullwithitshornsdown,andnothingbutawallwillstophim.
(Bytheway:
facingthewall,suchgentlemen—thatis,the“direct”personsandmenofaction—are
genuinamente
genuinely
nonplussed.
Forthemawallisnotanevasion,asforuspeoplewhothinkandconsequentlydonothing;
itisnotanexcuseforturningaside,anexcuseforwhichwearealwaysveryglad,thoughwescarcelybelieveinitourselves,asarule.
No,theyarenonplussedinall
sinceridad
sincerity
.
Thewallhasforthemsomethingtranquillising,
moralmente
morally
soothing,final—maybeevensomething
misterioso
mysterious
...
butofthewalllater.)
Well,suchadirectpersonIregardastherealnormalman,ashistendermothernaturewishedtoseehimwhenshegraciouslybroughthimintobeingontheearth.
I
envidio
envy
suchamantillIamgreenintheface.
Heisstupid.
Iamnot
disputando
disputing
that,butperhapsthenormalmanshouldbestupid,howdoyouknow?
Perhapsitisverybeautiful,infact.
AndIamthemore
convencido
persuaded
ofthatsuspicion,ifonecancallitso,bythefactthatifyoutake,for
ejemplo
instance
,theantithesisofthenormalman,thatis,themanof
aguda
acute
consciousness,whohascome,ofcourse,notoutofthe
regazo
lap
ofnaturebutoutofaretort(thisisalmostmysticism,gentlemen,butIsuspectthis,too),thisretort-mademanissometimessononplussedinthepresenceofhisantithesisthatwithallhisexaggerated
conciencia
consciousness
hegenuinelythinksofhimselfasamouseandnotaman.
Itmaybeanacutely
consciente
conscious
mouse,yetitisamouse,whiletheotherisaman,andtherefore,etcaetera,etcaetera.
Andtheworstofitis,hehimself,hisveryownself,looksonhimselfasamouse;
nooneaskshimtodoso;
andthatisanimportantpoint.
Nowletuslookatthismouseinaction.
Letussuppose,for
ejemplo
instance
,thatitfeelsinsulted,too(anditalmostalwaysdoesfeel
insultado
insulted)
,andwantstorevengeitself,too.
Theremayevenbeagreateraccumulationof
rencor
spite
initthaninl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
Thebaseandnastydesireto
ventilar
vent
thatspiteonitsassailantranklesperhapsevenmorenastilyinitthaninl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
Forthroughhisinnate
estupidez
stupidity
thelatterlooksuponhisrevengeasjusticepureandsimple;
whilein
consecuencia
consequence
ofhisacuteconsciousnessthemousedoesnotbelieveinthejusticeofit.
Tocomeatlasttothedeeditself,totheveryactofrevenge.
Apartfromtheone
fundamental
fundamental
nastinessthelucklessmousesucceedsincreatingarounditsomanyothernastinessesintheformofdoubtsandquestions,addstotheonequestionsomanyunsettledquestionsthatthere
inevitablemente
inevitably
worksuparounditasortof
fatal
fatal
brew,astinkingmess,madeupofitsdoubts,emotions,andofthe
desprecio
contempt
spatuponitbythedirectmenofactionwhostand
solemnemente
solemnly
aboutitasjudgesandarbitrators,laughingatittilltheirhealthysides
duelen
ache
.
Ofcoursetheonlythingleftforitisto
desestimar
dismiss
allthatwithawaveofitspaw,and,withasmileofassumed
desprecio
contempt
inwhichitdoesnotevenitselfbelieve,
arrastrarse
creep
ignominiouslyintoitsmouse-hole.
Thereinitsnasty,stinking,
subterráneo
underground
homeourinsulted,crushedand
ridiculizado
ridiculed
mousepromptlybecomesabsorbedincold,malignantand,aboveall,
eterno
everlasting
spite.
Forfortyyearstogetheritwillrememberitsinjurydowntothesmallest,mostignominiousdetails,andeverytimewilladd,ofitself,detailsstillmoreignominious,spitefully
burlándose
teasing
andtormentingitselfwithitsownimagination.
Itwillitselfbeashamedofitsimaginings,butyetitwill
recordará
recall
itall,itwillgooverandoverevery
detalle
detail
,itwillinventunheardofthingsagainstitself,pretendingthatthosethingsmighthappen,andwillforgivenothing.
Maybeitwillbegintorevengeitself,too,but,asitwere,piecemeal,in
trivial
trivial
ways,frombehindthe
estufa
stove
,incognito,withoutbelievingeitherinitsownrighttovengeance,orinthesuccessofitsrevenge,knowingthatfromallitseffortsatrevengeitwillsufferahundredtimesmorethanheonwhomitrevengesitself,whilehe,Idaresay,willnotevenscratchhimself.
Onitsdeathbeditwill
recordará
recall
italloveragain,withinterestaccumulatedoveralltheyearsand...
Butitisjustinthatcold,
abominable
abominable
halfdespair,halfbelief,inthat
consciente
conscious
buryingoneselfalivefor
dolor
grief
intheunderworldforfortyyears,inthatacutelyrecognisedandyet
en parte
partly
doubtfulhopelessnessofone’sposition,inthathellofunsatisfieddesiresturnedinward,inthatfeverofoscillations,ofresolutionsdeterminedforeverandrepentedofagainaminutelater—thatthesavourofthatstrange
disfrute
enjoyment
ofwhichIhavespokenlies.
Itisso
sutil
subtle
,sodifficultofanalysis,thatpersonswhoarealittlelimited,orevensimplypersonsofstrongnerves,willnotunderstandasingle
átomo
atom
ofit.
“Possibly,”youwilladdonyourownaccountwitha
sonrisa
grin
,“peoplewillnotunderstanditeitherwhohaveneverreceiveda
bofetada
slap
intheface,”andinthatwayyouwill
educadamente
politely
hinttomethatI,too,perhaps,havehadtheexperienceofa
bofetada
slap
inthefaceinmylife,andsoIspeakasonewhoknows.
Ibetthatyouarethinkingthat.
Butsetyourmindsatrest,gentlemen,Ihavenotreceiveda
bofetada
slap
intheface,thoughitisabsolutelyamatterof
indiferencia
indifference
tomewhatyoumaythinkaboutit.
Possibly,Ievenregret,myself,thatIhavegivensofewslapsinthefaceduringmylife.
Butenough...
notanotherwordonthatsubjectofsuch
extremo
extreme
interesttoyou.
Iwillcontinue
calma
calmly
concerningpersonswithstrongnerveswhodonotunderstandacertainrefinementof
disfrute
enjoyment
.
Thoughincertaincircumstancesthesegentlemenbellowtheirloudestlikebulls,thoughthis,letussuppose,doesthemthegreatestcredit,yet,asIhavesaidalready,confrontedwiththeimpossibletheysubsideatonce.
Theimpossiblemeansthestonewall!
Whatstonewall?
Why,ofcourse,thelawsofnature,thedeductionsofnaturalscience,mathematics.