CHAPTERI
Ifithadnotrainedon
una
acertainMaymorningValancyStirling’swholevida
lifewouldhavebeenentirelydiferente
different.Shewouldhavegone,
con
withtherestofherclan,toAuntWellington’sengagementpicnicy
andDr.Trentwouldhaveido
gonetoMontreal.Butitdidrain
y
andyoushallhearwhatsucedió
happenedtoherbecauseofit.Valancywakenedearly,in
la
thelifeless,hopelesshourjustprecedingdawn.She
había
hadnotsleptverywell.Onedoesnot
duerme
sleepwell,sometimes,whenoneistwenty-nineonlos
themorrow,andunmarried,inacommunityy
andconnectionwheretheunmarriedaresimplyaquellos
thosewhohavefailedtoconseguir
getaman.Deerwoodand
los
theStirlingshadlongsincerelegatedValancytohopelessoldmaidenhood.Pero
ButValancyherselfhadneverquiterelinquisheduna
acertainpitiful,shamed,littleesperanza
hopethatRomancewouldcomehercamino
wayyet—never,untilthiswet,horriblemañana
morning,whenshewakenedtothehecho
factthatshewastwenty-niney
andunsoughtbyanyman.Ay,therelay
el
thesting.Valancydidnot
importaba
mindsomuchbeinganoldmaid.After
todo
all,shethought,beinganoldmaidcouldn’tpossiblybeasdreadfulasbeingmarriedtoanUncleWellingtono
oranUncleBenjamin,orincluso
evenanUncleHerbert.What
lastimó
hurtherwasthatshehadnunca
neverhadachancetobeanythingbutanoldmaid.Ningún
Nomanhadeverdesiredher.Thetearscameintohereyesasshe
yacía
laytherealoneinthefaintlygreyingdarkness.Shedarednotletherselfcryashardasshe
quería
wantedto,fortworeasons.Shewas
miedo
afraidthatcryingmightbringonotro
anotherattackofthatpainalrededor
aroundtheheart.Shehadhad
un
aspellofitaftershehadgotintobed—ratherworsethancualquier
anyshehadhadyet.Y
Andshewasafraidhermadre
motherwouldnoticeherredeyesatbreakfasty
andkeepatherwithminute,persistent,mosquito-likequestionsregardingthecausa
causethereof.“Suppose,”thoughtValancy
con
withaghastlygrin,“Irespondí
answeredwiththeplaintruth,‘Iamcryingporque
becauseIcannotgetmarried.’HowhorrifiedMadre
Motherwouldbe—thoughsheisashamedtodos
everydayofherlifeofheroldmaiddaughter.”Pero
Butofcourseappearancesshouldbekeptup.“Itisnot,”Valancy
podía
couldhearhermother’sprim,dictatorialvoiceasserting,“itisnotmaidenlytopensar
thinkaboutmen.”Thethoughtofhermother’sexpression
hizo
madeValancylaugh—forshehadun
asenseofhumournobodyinherclansuspected.Forthatmatter,therewereagoodmanythings
sobre
aboutValancythatnobodysuspected.Pero
Butherlaughterwasverysuperficialy
andpresentlyshelaythere,ahuddled,futilelittlefigure,escuchando
listeningtotherainpouringdownafuera
outsideandwatching,withasickdistaste,la
thechill,mercilesslightcreepingintoherugly,sordidhabitación
room.Sheknewtheuglinessof
esa
thatroombyheart—knewity
andhatedit.Theyellow-paintedfloor,
con
withonehideous,“hooked”rugbythecama
bed,withagrotesque,“hooked”perro
dogonit,alwaysgrinningathercuando
whensheawoke;thefaded,dark-redpaper;
el
theceilingdiscolouredbyoldleaksy
andcrossedbycracks;thenarrow,pinchedlittlewashstand;
el
thebrown-paperlambrequinwithpurplerosesonit;thespotted
viejo
oldlooking-glasswiththecrackacrossit,proppedupontheinadequatedressing-table;el
thejarofancientpotpourrihecho
madebyhermotherinhermythicalhoneymoon;la
theshell-coveredbox,withoneburstcorner,whichCousinStickleshabía
hadmadeinherequallymythicalgirlhood;thebeadedpincushion
con
withhalfitsbeadfringegone;la
theonestiff,yellowchair;thefaded
viejo
oldmotto,“Gonebutnotforgotten,”trabajado
workedincolouredyarnsaboutGreat-grand-motherStirling’sgrimviejo
oldface;theoldphotographsofancientrelatives
tiempo
longbanishedfromtheroomsbelow.Therewere
sólo
onlytwopicturesthatwerenotofrelatives.One,an
viejo
oldchromoofapuppysentado
sittingonarainydoorstep.Ese
ThatpicturealwaysmadeValancyunhappy.Ese
Thatforlornlittledogcrouchedonla
thedoorstepinthedrivingrain!Por qué
Whydidn’tsomeoneopenla
thedoorandlethimin?The
otro
otherpicturewasafaded,passe-partoutedengravingofQueenLouisecomingdownastairway,whichAuntWellingtonhabía
hadlavishlygivenheronhertenthbirthday.Fornineteenyearsshe
había
hadlookedatitandodiado
hatedit,beautiful,smug,self-satisfiedQueenLouise.Pero
Butsheneverdareddestroyito
orremoveit.MotherandCousinStickleswouldhavebeenaghast,
o
or,asValancyirreverentlyexpresseditinherthoughts,wouldhavehadun
afit.Everyroominthe
casa
housewasugly,ofcourse.Pero
Butdownstairsappearanceswerekeptupsomewhat.Therewas
no
nomoneyforroomsnobodyevervisto
saw.Valancysometimesfeltthatshe
podría
couldhavedonesomethingforherhabitación
roomherself,evenwithoutmoney,si
ifshewerepermitted.Buther
madre
motherhadnegativedeverytimidsuggestiony
andValancydidnotpersist.Valancy
nunca
neverpersisted.Shewasafraidto.
Her
madre
mothercouldnotbrookopposition.Mrs.Stirlingwouldsulkfordays
si
ifoffended,withtheairsofuna
aninsultedduchess.Theonly
lo
thingValancylikedaboutherhabitación
roomwasthatshecouldbealonethereatnoche
nighttocryifshequería
wantedto.But,afterall,whatdiditmatter
si
ifaroom,whichyouusabas
usedfornothingexceptsleepingy
anddressingin,wereugly?Valancywas
nunca
neverpermittedtostayaloneinherhabitación
roomforanyotherpurpose.Gente
Peoplewhowantedtobealone,soMrs.FrederickStirlingy
andCousinSticklesbelieved,couldsólo
onlywanttobealoneforsomesinisterpurpose.Pero
ButherroomintheBlueCastlewastodo
everythingaroomshouldbe.Valancy,socowed
y
andsubduedandoverriddenandsnubbedinreal
reallife,waswonttoletherselfir
gorathersplendidlyinherday-dreams.Nadie
NobodyintheStirlingclan,o
oritsramifications,suspectedthis,menos
leastofallhermothery
andCousinStickles.Theynever
supieron
knewthatValancyhadtwohomes—theuglyrojo
redbrickboxofacasa
home,onElmStreet,andtheBlueCastleinSpain.Valancy
había
hadlivedspirituallyintheBlueCastleeverdesde
sinceshecouldremember.She
había
hadbeenaverytinyniña
childwhenshefoundherselfpossessedofit.Siempre
Always,whensheshuthereyes,shepodía
couldseeitplainly,withitsturretsy
andbannersonthepine-cladmountainheight,wrappedinitsfaint,blueloveliness,contra
againstthesunsetskiesofuna
afairandunknownland.Todo
Everythingwonderfulandbeautifulwasinese
thatcastle.Jewelsthatqueens
podrían
mighthaveworn;robesofmoonlight
y
andfire;couchesofroses
y
andgold;longflightsofshallowmarblesteps,
con
withgreat,whiteurns,andcon
withslender,mist-cladmaidensgoingupy
anddownthem;courts,marble-pillared,
donde
whereshimmeringfountainsfellandnightingalescantaban
sangamongthemyrtles;hallsofmirrorsthatreflected
sólo
onlyhandsomeknightsandlovelywomen—herselftheloveliestoftodas
all,forwhoseglancemenmorían
died.Allthatsupportedher
por
throughtheboredomofherdayswasla
thehopeofgoingonuna
adreamspreeatnight.Mayoría
Most,ifnotall,oftheStirlingswouldhavemuerto
diedofhorroriftheyhadsabido
knownhalfthethingsValancyhizo
didinherBlueCastle.Foronethingshe
tenía
hadquiteafewloversinit.Oh,
sólo
onlyoneatatime.Onewhowooedher
con
withalltheromanticardouroftheageofchivalryy
andwonherafterlongdevotiony
andmanydeedsofderring-do,y
andwasweddedtohercon
withpompandcircumstanceinthegran
great,banner-hungchapeloftheBlueCastle.Attwelve,
este
thisloverwasafairladcon
withgoldencurlsandheavenlyblueeyes.Atfifteen,hewastall
y
anddarkandpale,buttodavía
stillnecessarilyhandsome.Attwenty,hewasascetic,dreamy,spiritual.
Attwenty-five,he
tenía
hadaclean-cutjaw,slightlygrim,y
andafacestrongandruggedratherde
thanhandsome.Valancynevergrewolder
de
thantwenty-fiveinherBlueCastle,pero
butrecently—veryrecently—herherohadhadreddish,tawnycabello
hair,atwistedsmileandamysteriouspast.Idon’t
digo
sayValancydeliberatelymurderedtheseloversassheoutgrewthem.Uno
Onesimplyfadedawayasotro
anothercame.Thingsareveryconvenientin
este
thisrespectinBlueCastles.Pero
But,onthismorningofherdía
dayoffate,Valancycouldnotencontrar
findthekeyofherBlueCastle.Realitypressedonher
demasiado
toohardly,barkingatherheelscomo
likeamaddeninglittledog.Shewastwenty-nine,lonely,undesired,ill-favoured—the
única
onlyhomelygirlinahandsomeclan,withno
nopastandnofuture.Asfarasshe
podía
couldlookback,lifewasdraby
andcolourless,withnotonesinglecrimsono
orpurplespotanywhere.Asfarasshe
podía
couldlookforwarditseemedcertaintobejustla
thesameuntilshewasnothingbutuna
asolitary,littlewitheredleafclingingtouna
awintrybough.Themomentwhen
una
awomanrealisesthatshetiene
hasnothingtolivefor—neitheramor
love,duty,purposenorhope—holdsforherthebitternessofmuerte
death.“AndIjusthavetogoon
viviendo
livingbecauseIcan’tstop.I
puede
mayhavetoliveeightyyears,”pensó
thoughtValancy,inakindofpanic.“We’re
todos
allhorriblylong-lived.Itsickensmeto
pensar
thinkofit.”Shewasgladitwasraining—orrather,shewasdrearilysatisfiedthatitwasraining.
Therewouldbe
no
nopicnicthatday.Thisannualpicnic,wherebyAunt
y
andUncleWellington—onealwaysthoughtoftheminesa
thatsuccession—inevitablycelebratedtheirengagementatapicnicthirtyyearsantes
before,hadbeen,oflateyears,averitablenightmaretoValancy.By
una
animpishcoincidenceitwasthemismo
samedayasherbirthdayy
and,aftershehadpassedtwenty-five,nadie
nobodyletherforgetit.Muchasshe
odiara
hatedgoingtothepicnic,itir
wouldneverhaveoccurredtohertorebelcontra
againstit.Thereseemedtobe
nada
nothingoftherevolutionaryinhernature.Y
Andsheknewexactlywhattodos
everyonewouldsaytoheratel
thepicnic.UncleWellington,whomshedisliked
y
anddespisedeventhoughhehabía
hadfulfilledthehighestStirlingaspiration,“marryingmoney,”woulddecía
saytoherinapig’swhisper,“Notpensando
thinkingofgettingmarriedyet,mydear?”y
andthengooffintothebellowoflaughtercon
withwhichheinvariablyconcludedhisdullremarks.AuntWellington,ofwhomValancystoodinabjectawe,wouldtellheraboutOlive’s
nuevo
newchiffondressandCecil’súltima
lastdevotedletter.Valancywouldhavetolookaspleased
y
andinterestedasifthedressy
andletterhadbeenherso
orelseAuntWellingtonwouldbeoffended.Y
AndValancyhadlongagodecidedthatshewouldratheroffendDios
GodthanAuntWellington,becauseDios
GodmightforgiveherbutAuntWellingtonnunca
neverwould.AuntAlberta,enormouslyfat,
con
withanamiablehabitofsiempre
alwaysreferringtoherhusbandas“he,”assi
ifheweretheonlymalecreatureinthemundo
world,whocouldneverforgetthatshehabía
hadbeenagreatbeautyinheryouth,wouldcondolecon
withValancyonhersallowskin—.“Idon’t
sé
knowwhyallthegirlsofhoy
todayaresosunburned.WhenIwasa
niña
girlmyskinwasrosesy
andcream.Iwascounted
la
theprettiestgirlinCanada,mydear.”Tal vez
PerhapsUncleHerbertwouldn’tsayanything—ortal vez
perhapshewouldremarkjocularly,“Howfatyou’regetting,Doss!”Y
Andtheneverybodywouldlaughovertheexcessivelyhumorousidea
ideaofpoor,scrawnylittleDossgettingfat.Handsome,solemnUncleJames,whomValancydisliked
pero
butrespectedbecausehewasreputedtobemuy
verycleverandwasthereforetheclanoracle—brainsbeingnonedemasiado
tooplentifulintheStirlingconnection—wouldprobablemente
probablyremarkwiththeowl-likesarcasmthathadganado
wonhimhisreputation,“Isupposeyou’rebusycon
withyourhope-chestthesedays?”Y
AndUncleBenjaminwouldaskalgunos
someofhisabominableconundrums,entre
betweenwheezychuckles,andanswerthemhimself.“Whatis
la
thedifferencebetweenDossandun
amouse?“Themousewishestoharmthecheese
y
andDosswishestocharmthehe’s.”Valancy
había
hadheardhimaskthatriddlefiftytimesy
andeverytimeshewantedtothrowalgo
somethingathim.Butshe
nunca
neverdid.Inthefirst
lugar
place,theStirlingssimplydidnotthrowthings;inthe
segundo
secondplace,UncleBenjaminwasun
awealthyandchildlessoldwidowery
andValancyhadbeenbroughtupinthefeary
andadmonitionofhismoney.Si
Ifsheoffendedhimhewouldcortaría
cutheroutofhiswill—supposingshewereinit.Valancydidnot
quería
wanttobecutoutofUncleBenjamin’swill.She
había
hadbeenpoorallhervida
lifeandknewthegallingbitternessofit.Sosheenduredhisriddlesand
incluso
evensmiledtorturedlittlesmilessobre
overthem.AuntIsabel,downright
y
anddisagreeableasaneastwind,wouldcriticiseherinsomeway—Valancypodía
couldnotpredictjusthow,forAuntIsabelnunca
neverrepeatedacriticism—shefoundalgo
somethingnewwithwhichtojabyoucada
everytime.AuntIsabelpridedherselfonsayingwhatshethought,
pero
butdidn’tlikeitsowellcuando
whenotherpeoplesaidwhattheythoughttoher.Valancy
nunca
neversaidwhatshethought.CousinGeorgiana—namedafterhergreat-great-grand-mother,who
habían
hadbeennamedafterGeorgetheFourth—wouldrecountdolorouslythenamesoftodos
allrelativesandfriendswhohabían
haddiedsincethelastpicnicy
andwonder“whichofuswillbetheprimero
firsttogonext.”Oppressivelycompetent,AuntMildred
sería
wouldtalkendlesslyofhermarido
husbandandherodiousprodigiesofbabiestoValancy,porque
becauseValancywouldbetheonlyoneshepudiera
couldfindtoputupwithit.Forthesame
razón
reason,CousinGladys—reallyFirstCousinGladysuna vez
onceremoved,accordingtothestrictforma
wayinwhichtheStirlingstabulatedrelationship—atall,thindama
ladywhoadmittedshehaduna
asensitivedisposition,woulddescribeminutelythetorturesofherneuritis.Y
AndOlive,thewondergirlofthewholeStirlingclan,whotenía
hadeverythingValancyhadnot—beauty,popularity,love,—wouldmostraría
showoffherbeautyandpresumeonherpopularityy
andflauntherdiamondinsigniaofamor
loveinValancy’sdazzled,enviouseyes.Therewouldbenoneof
todo
allthistoday.Andtherewouldbe
no
nopackingupofteaspoons.Thepackingupwas
siempre
alwaysleftforValancyandCousinStickles.Y
Andonce,sixyearsago,una
asilverteaspoonfromAuntWellington’sweddingsethabía
hadbeenlost.Valancynever
escuchó
heardthelastofthatsilverteaspoon.ItsghostappearedBanquo-likeat
cada
everysubsequentfamilyfeast.Oh,
sí
yes,Valancyknewexactlywhatthepicnicsería
wouldbelikeandsheblessedtherainthathabía
hadsavedherfromit.Therewouldbe
no
nopicnicthisyear.IfAuntWellington
pudiera
couldnotcelebrateonthesacreddía
dayitselfshewouldhaveno
nocelebrationatall.Thankwhatevergodstherewerefor
eso
that.Sincetherewouldbe
no
nopicnic,Valancymadeuphermindthat,si
iftherainheldupintheafternoon,sheiría
wouldgouptothelibraryandgetotro
anotherofJohnFoster’sbooks.Valancywas
nunca
neverallowedtoreadnovels,pero
butJohnFoster’sbookswerenotnovels.Theywere“naturebooks”—sothelibrarian
contó
toldMrs.FrederickStirling—“allaboutthewoodsy
andbirdsandbugsandthingslikethat,youknow.”SoValancywasallowedtoreadthem—underprotest,foritwasonly
demasiado
tooevidentthatsheenjoyedthemdemasiado
toomuch.Itwaspermissible,
incluso
evenlaudable,toreadtoimproveyourmente
mindandyourreligion,butun
abookthatwasenjoyablewasdangerous.Valancydidnot
sabía
knowwhetherhermindwasbeingimprovedo
ornot;butshefeltvaguelythat
si
ifshehadcomeacrossJohnFoster’sbooksyearshace
agolifemighthavebeenadiferente
differentthingforher.Theyseemedtohertoyieldglimpsesofa
mundo
worldintowhichshemightuna vez
oncehaveentered,thoughthepuerta
doorwasforeverbarredtoherahora
now.Itwasonlywithinthe
último
lastyearthatJohnFoster’sbookshadbeenintheDeerwoodlibrary,aunque
thoughthelibrariantoldValancythathehadbeenun
awell-knownwriterforseveralyears.“Wheredoeshelive?”
Valancy
había
hadasked.“Nobodyknows.
Fromhisbookshe
debe
mustbeaCanadian,butno
nomoreinformationcanbetener
had.Hispublisherswon’tsay
una
aword.QuitelikelyJohnFosteris
un
anomdeplume.Hisbooksaresopopularwecan’tkeeptheminatall,
aunque
thoughIreallycan’tseewhatgente
peoplefindinthemtoraveover.”“Ithinkthey’rewonderful,”
dijo
saidValancy,timidly.“Oh—well—”
MissClarksonsmiledin
una
apatronisingfashionthatrelegatedValancy’sopinionstolimbo,“Ican’tdecir
sayIcaremuchforbugsmyself.Pero
ButcertainlyFosterseemstosaber
knowallthereistosaber
knowaboutthem.”Valancydidn’t
sabía
knowwhethershecaredmuchforbugstampoco
either.ItwasnotJohnFoster’suncannyknowledgeofwildcreatures
y
andinsectlifethatenthralledher.She
podía
couldhardlysaywhatitwas—sometantalisinglureofun
amysteryneverrevealed—somehintofun
agreatsecretjustapoco
littlefurtheron—somefaint,elusiveechooflovely,forgottenthings—JohnFoster’smagicwasindefinable.Sí
Yes,shewouldgetanuevo
newFosterbook.Itwas
un
amonthsinceshehadThistleHarvest,sosurelyMotherpodría
couldnotobject.Valancyhad
leído
readitfourtimes—sheknewwholepassagesoffbyheart.And—she
casi
almostthoughtshewouldgoy
andseeDr.Trentaboutese
thatqueerpainaroundthecorazón
heart.Ithadcomeratheroftenlately,
y
andthepalpitationswerebecomingannoying,nottohablar
speakofanoccasionaldizzymomenty
andaqueershortnessofbreath.Pero
Butcouldshegotoseehimsin
withouttellinganyone?Itwas
un
amostdaringthought.NoneoftheStirlingseverconsulted
un
adoctorwithoutholdingafamiliar
familycouncilandgettingUncleJames’approval.Then,they
fueron
wenttoDr.AmbroseMarshofPortLawrence,whohabía
hadmarriedSecondCousinAdelaideStirling.Pero
ButValancydislikedDr.AmbroseMarsh.Y
And,besides,shecouldnotllegar
gettoPortLawrence,fifteenmilesdistancia
away,withoutbeingtakenthere.Shedidnot
quería
wantanyonetoknowabouthercorazón
heart.Therewouldbesuch
un
afussmadeandeverymemberofthefamilia
familywouldcomedownandhablarían
talkitoverandadvisehery
andcautionherandwarnhery
andtellherhorribletalesofgreat-auntsy
andcousinsfortytimesremovedwhohabían
hadbeen“justlikethat”y
and“droppeddeadwithoutamoment’swarning,mydear.”AuntIsabelwould
recordaría
rememberthatshehadalwaysdicho
saidDosslookedlikeachica
girlwhowouldhavehearttrouble—“sopinchedy
andpeakedalways”;andUncleWellingtonwould
tomaría
takeitasapersonalinsult,cuando
when“noStirlingeverhadheartdiseasebefore”;y
andGeorgianawouldforebodeinperfectlyaudibleasidesthat“poor,querido
dearlittleDossisn’tlongforeste
thisworld,I’mafraid”;andCousinGladyswould
decía
say,“Why,myhearthasbeenlikethatforyears,”inatonethatimpliednooneelsehadanynegocio
businesseventohaveacorazón
heart;andOlive—Olivewouldmerelylook
hermosa
beautifulandsuperioranddisgustinglyhealthy,assi
iftosay,“Whyalleste
thisfussoverafadedsuperfluitylikeDosscuando
whenyouhaveme?”Valancy
sentía
feltthatshecouldn’ttellnadie
anybodyunlessshehadto.She
sentía
feltquitesuretherewasnada
nothingatallseriouslywrongcon
withherheartandnonecesidad
needofallthepotherthatwouldensuesi
ifshementionedit.Shewould
sólo
justslipupquietlyandver
seeDr.Trentthatverydía
day.Asforhisbill,shehadthetwohundreddollarsthather
padre
fatherhadputinthebankforherthedía
dayshewasborn.Shewas
nunca
neverallowedtouseevenel
theinterestofthis,butshewouldsecretlytakeoutsuficiente
enoughtopayDr.Trent.Dr.
Trentwasagruff,outspoken,absent-mindedoldfellow,
pero
buthewasarecognisedauthorityonheartdisease,incluso
evenifhewereonlyageneralpractitionerinout-of-the-worldDeerwood.Dr.Trentwasoverseventy
y
andtherehadbeenrumoursthathemeanttoretirepronto
soon.NoneoftheStirlingclan
había
hadevergonetohimdesde
sincehehadtoldCousinGladys,diez
tenyearsbefore,thatherneuritiswastoda
allimaginaryandthatsheenjoyedit.Youcouldn’tpatronisea
doctor
doctorwhoinsultedyourfirst-cousin-once-removedlikethat—nottomentionthathewasaPresbyteriancuando
whenalltheStirlingswenttotheAnglicanchurch.CHAPTERII
Cuando
WhenCousinSticklesknockedatherpuerta
door,Valancyknewitwashalf-pastseveny
andshemustgetup.Aslongasshe
podía
couldremember,CousinStickleshadknockedatherpuerta
doorathalf-pastseven.CousinStickles
y
andMrs.FrederickStirlinghadbeenupdesde
sinceseven,butValancywasallowedtolieabedhalfanhourlongerbecauseofafamiliar
familytraditionthatshewasdelicate.Valancygotup,
aunque
thoughshehatedgettingupmás
morethismorningthanevershehadantes
before.