CHAPTERI
Ifithadnotrainedonacertain
Maio
MaymorningValancyStirling’swholevida
lifewouldhavebeenentirelydiferente
different.Shewouldhavegone,
com
withtherestofherclan,toAuntWellington’sengagementpicnice
andDr.TrentwouldhavegonetoMontreal.Mas
Butitdidrainandyoushallouvir
hearwhathappenedtoherpor causa
becauseofit.Valancywakenedearly,in
o
thelifeless,hopelesshourjustprecedingdawn.She
tinha
hadnotsleptverywell.Onedoesnot
dorme
sleepwell,sometimes,whenoneistwenty-nineonos
themorrow,andunmarried,inacommunitye
andconnectionwheretheunmarriedaresimplyaqueles
thosewhohavefailedtoconseguiram
getaman.DeerwoodandtheStirlingshadlongsincerelegatedValancytohopelessoldmaidenhood.
Mas
ButValancyherselfhadnevercompletamente
quiterelinquishedacertainpitiful,shamed,littleesperança
hopethatRomancewouldcomehercaminho
wayyet—never,untilthiswet,horriblemanhã
morning,whenshewakenedtothefato
factthatshewastwenty-ninee
andunsoughtbyanyman.Ay,
aí
therelaythesting.Valancydidnot
importava
mindsomuchbeinganoldmaid.Afterall,she
pensou
thought,beinganoldmaidcouldn’tpossiblybeasdreadfulasbeingmarriedtoanTio
UncleWellingtonoranUncleBenjamin,ou
orevenanUncleHerbert.What
magoava
hurtherwasthatshehadnunca
neverhadachancetobeanythingbutanoldmaid.Nenhum
Nomanhadeverdesiredher.As
Thetearscameintohereyesasshelaylá
therealoneinthefaintlygreyingdarkness.Shedarednotletherselfcryashardasshe
queria
wantedto,fortworeasons.Shewas
medo
afraidthatcryingmightbringonoutro
anotherattackofthatpainao redor
aroundtheheart.Shehadhad
um
aspellofitaftershehadgotintobed—ratherworsethanqualquer
anyshehadhadyet.E
Andshewasafraidhermãe
motherwouldnoticeherredeyesatbreakfaste
andkeepatherwithminute,persistent,mosquito-likequestionsregardingthecausa
causethereof.“Suppose,”thoughtValancy
com
withaghastlygrin,“Iansweredcom
withtheplaintruth,‘Iamcryingporque
becauseIcannotgetmarried.’Como
HowhorrifiedMotherwouldbe—thoughsheisashamedeverydias
dayofherlifeofheroldmaiddaughter.”Mas
Butofcourseappearancesshouldbekeptup.“Itisnot,”Valancy
podia
couldhearhermother’sprim,dictatorialvoiceasserting,“itisnotmaidenlytopensar
thinkaboutmen.”Thethoughtofhermother’sexpression
fez
madeValancylaugh—forshehadum
asenseofhumournobodyinherclansuspected.For
que
thatmatter,therewereagoodmuitas
manythingsaboutValancythatninguém
nobodysuspected.Butherlaughterwas
muito
verysuperficialandpresentlyshelayali
there,ahuddled,futilelittlefigure,ouvindo
listeningtotherainpouringdownfora
outsideandwatching,withadoente
sickdistaste,thechill,mercilessluz
lightcreepingintoherugly,sordidquarto
room.Sheknewtheuglinessofthat
quarto
roombyheart—knewitandodiava
hatedit.Theyellow-paintedfloor,
com
withonehideous,“hooked”rugbyo
thebed,withagrotesque,“hooked”cão
dogonit,alwaysgrinningatherquando
whensheawoke;thefaded,dark-redpaper;
o
theceilingdiscolouredbyoldleakse
andcrossedbycracks;thenarrow,pinched
pequeno
littlewashstand;thebrown-paperlambrequin
com
withpurplerosesonit;thespotted
velho
oldlooking-glasswiththecrackacrossit,proppedupontheinadequatedressing-table;thejarofancientpotpourri
feito
madebyhermotherinhermythicalhoneymoon;a
theshell-coveredbox,withoneburstcorner,que
whichCousinStickleshadmadeinherequallymythicalgirlhood;a
thebeadedpincushionwithhalfitsbeadfringegone;a
theonestiff,yellowchair;o
thefadedoldmotto,“Gonemas
butnotforgotten,”workedincolouredyarnssobre
aboutGreat-grand-motherStirling’sgrimoldrosto
face;theoldphotographsofancientrelativeslongbanishedfrom
as
theroomsbelow.Therewere
apenas
onlytwopicturesthatwerenotofrelatives.One,an
velho
oldchromoofapuppysentado
sittingonarainydoorstep.Aquele
ThatpicturealwaysmadeValancyunhappy.Aquele
Thatforlornlittledogcrouchedonthedoorstepinthedrivingrain!Porque
Whydidn’tsomeoneopentheporta
doorandlethimin?A
Theotherpicturewasafaded,passe-partoutedengravingofQueenLouisecomingdownuma
astairway,whichAuntWellingtonhadlavishlygivenheronhertenthbirthday.Fornineteenyearsshehad
olhou
lookedatitandhatedele
it,beautiful,smug,self-satisfiedQueenLouise.Mas
Butsheneverdareddestroyitou
orremoveit.MotherandCousinStickleswouldhavebeenaghast,
ou
or,asValancyirreverentlyexpresseditinherthoughts,wouldhavehadum
afit.Everyroomin
os
thehousewasugly,ofcourse.Mas
Butdownstairsappearanceswerekeptupsomewhat.Therewas
não
nomoneyforroomsnobodyeversaw.Valancy
às vezes
sometimesfeltthatshecouldter
havedonesomethingforherquarto
roomherself,evenwithoutmoney,se
ifshewerepermitted.Buther
mãe
motherhadnegativedeverytimidsuggestione
andValancydidnotpersist.Valancy
nunca
neverpersisted.Shewasafraidto.
Her
mãe
mothercouldnotbrookopposition.Mrs.Stirling
fosse
wouldsulkfordaysifoffended,com
withtheairsofaninsultedduchess.The
única
onlythingValancylikedaboutherquarto
roomwasthatshecouldbealonelá
thereatnighttocryse
ifshewantedto.But,afterall,whatdiditmatter
se
ifaroom,whichyouusava
usedfornothingexceptsleepinge
anddressingin,wereugly?Valancywas
nunca
neverpermittedtostayaloneinherquarto
roomforanyotherpurpose.Pessoas
Peoplewhowantedtobealone,soMrs.FrederickStirlinge
andCousinSticklesbelieved,couldonlywanttobealoneforalgum
somesinisterpurpose.Buther
quarto
roomintheBlueCastlewastudo
everythingaroomshouldbe.Valancy,socowed
e
andsubduedandoverriddenandsnubbedinreal
reallife,waswonttodeixar
letherselfgorathersplendidlyinherday-dreams.Ninguém
NobodyintheStirlingclan,ou
oritsramifications,suspectedthis,menos
leastofallhermothere
andCousinStickles.Theynever
souberam
knewthatValancyhadtwohomes—theuglyredbrickboxofuma
ahome,onElmStreet,e
andtheBlueCastleinSpain.Valancyhad
vivia
livedspirituallyintheBlueCastleeverdesde
sinceshecouldremember.She
tinha
hadbeenaverytinycriança
childwhenshefoundherselfpossessedofele
it.Always,whensheshuthereyes,she
podia
couldseeitplainly,withitsturretse
andbannersonthepine-cladmountainheight,wrappedinitsfaint,blueloveliness,contra
againstthesunsetskiesofuma
afairandunknownland.Tudo
Everythingwonderfulandbeautifulwasinthatcastle.Jewels
que
thatqueensmighthaveworn;robesofmoonlight
e
andfire;couchesofroses
e
andgold;longflightsofshallowmarblesteps,
com
withgreat,whiteurns,andcom
withslender,mist-cladmaidensgoingupe
anddownthem;courts,marble-pillared,
onde
whereshimmeringfountainsfellandnightingalescantavam
sangamongthemyrtles;hallsofmirrors
que
thatreflectedonlyhandsomeknightse
andlovelywomen—herselftheloveliestoftodas
all,forwhoseglancemenmorriam
died.Allthatsupportedherthroughtheboredomofherdayswasthe
esperança
hopeofgoingonasonho
dreamspreeatnight.Most,
se
ifnotall,oftheStirlingswouldhavediedofhorrorse
iftheyhadknownhalfa
thethingsValancydidinherBlueCastle.Foronethingshe
tinha
hadquiteafewloversinit.Oh,
só
onlyoneatatime.Aquele
Onewhowooedherwithtodo
alltheromanticardouroftheageofchivalrye
andwonherafterlongdevotione
andmanydeedsofderring-do,e
andwasweddedtohercom
withpompandcircumstanceinthegrande
great,banner-hungchapeloftheBlueCastle.Attwelve,
este
thisloverwasafairladcom
withgoldencurlsandheavenlyblueeyes.Atfifteen,hewastall
e
anddarkandpale,butainda
stillnecessarilyhandsome.Attwenty,hewasascetic,dreamy,spiritual.
Attwenty-five,he
tinha
hadaclean-cutjaw,slightlygrim,e
andafacestrongandruggedratherde
thanhandsome.Valancynevergrewolder
de
thantwenty-fiveinherBlueCastle,mas
butrecently—veryrecently—herherohadtinha
hadreddish,tawnyhair,atwistedsmilee
andamysteriouspast.Idon’t
dizer
sayValancydeliberatelymurderedtheseloversassheoutgrewthem.Um
Onesimplyfadedawayasoutro
anothercame.Thingsareveryconvenientin
este
thisrespectinBlueCastles.Mas
But,onthismorningofherdayoffate,Valancycouldnotencontrar
findthekeyofherBlueCastle.Realitypressedonhertoohardly,barkingatherheels
como
likeamaddeninglittledog.Shewastwenty-nine,lonely,undesired,ill-favoured—the
única
onlyhomelygirlinahandsomeclan,withsem
nopastandnofuture.Asfarasshe
podia
couldlookback,lifewasdrabe
andcolourless,withnotonesinglecrimsonou
orpurplespotanywhere.Asfarasshe
podia
couldlookforwarditseemedcertaintobejustthemesmo
sameuntilshewasnothingbutasolitary,littlewitheredleafclingingtoawintrybough.The
momento
momentwhenawomanrealisesque
thatshehasnothingtoviver
livefor—neitherlove,duty,purposenorhope—holdsforherthebitternessofmorte
death.“AndIjusthavetogoon
viver
livingbecauseIcan’tstop.I
posso
mayhavetoliveeightyyears,”pensou
thoughtValancy,inakindofpanic.“We’re
todos
allhorriblylong-lived.Itsickensmeto
pensar
thinkofit.”Shewasgladitwasraining—orrather,shewasdrearilysatisfiedthatitwasraining.
Therewouldbe
não
nopicnicthatday.Thisannualpicnic,wherebyAunt
e
andUncleWellington—onealwaysthoughtoftheminque
thatsuccession—inevitablycelebratedtheirengagementatum
apicnicthirtyyearsbefore,tinha
hadbeen,oflateyears,um
averitablenightmaretoValancy.By
uma
animpishcoincidenceitwasthemesmo
samedayasherbirthdaye
and,aftershehadpassedtwenty-five,ninguém
nobodyletherforgetit.Muchasshe
odiasse
hatedgoingtothepicnic,itir
wouldneverhaveoccurredtohertorebelcontra
againstit.Thereseemedtobe
nada
nothingoftherevolutionaryinhernature.E
Andsheknewexactlywhateveryoneiam
wouldsaytoherato
thepicnic.UncleWellington,whomshedisliked
e
anddespisedeventhoughheter
hadfulfilledthehighestStirlingaspiration,“marryingmoney,”woulddiria
saytoherinapig’swhisper,“Notpensar
thinkingofgettingmarriedyet,mydear?”e
andthengooffintoo
thebellowoflaughterwithqual
whichheinvariablyconcludedhisdullremarks.AuntWellington,ofwhomValancystoodinabjectawe,would
contava
tellheraboutOlive’snewchiffondresse
andCecil’slastdevotedletter.Valancy
fossem
wouldhavetolookaspleasede
andinterestedasifthedresse
andletterhadbeenhersorelseAuntWellingtonfossem
wouldbeoffended.AndValancyhad
tempo
longagodecidedthatshewouldratheroffendDeus
GodthanAuntWellington,becauseDeus
GodmightforgiveherbutAuntWellingtonnunca
neverwould.AuntAlberta,enormouslyfat,
com
withanamiablehabitofsempre
alwaysreferringtoherhusbandas“he,”asse
ifheweretheonlymalecreatureinthemundo
world,whocouldneverforgetthatshetinha
hadbeenagreatbeautyinheryouth,fosse
wouldcondolewithValancyonhersallowskin—.“Idon’t
sei
knowwhyallthegirlsofhoje
todayaresosunburned.WhenIwasa
menina
girlmyskinwasrosese
andcream.Iwascounted
a
theprettiestgirlinCanada,mydear.”Talvez
PerhapsUncleHerbertwouldn’tsayanything—ortalvez
perhapshewouldremarkjocularly,“Howfatyou’regetting,Doss!”E
Andtheneverybodywouldlaughovero
theexcessivelyhumorousideaofpobre
poor,scrawnylittleDossgettingfat.Handsome,solemn
Tio
UncleJames,whomValancydislikedmas
butrespectedbecausehewasreputedtobeveryclevere
andwasthereforetheclanoracle—brainsbeingnonetooplentifulintheStirlingconnection—wouldprovavelmente
probablyremarkwiththeowl-likesarcasmque
thathadwonhimhisreputation,“Isupposeyou’rebusycom
withyourhope-chestthesedays?”E
AndUncleBenjaminwouldaskalguns
someofhisabominableconundrums,entre
betweenwheezychuckles,andanswerthemhimself.“Whatisthedifference
entre
betweenDossandamouse?“Themouse
deseja
wishestoharmthecheesee
andDosswishestocharmo
thehe’s.”Valancyhadheardhim
perguntar
askthatriddlefiftytimese
andeverytimeshewantedtothrowalgo
somethingathim.Butshe
nunca
neverdid.Inthefirst
lugar
place,theStirlingssimplydidnotthrowthings;inthesecond
lugar
place,UncleBenjaminwasawealthye
andchildlessoldwidowerandValancyhadbeenbroughtupinthefeare
andadmonitionofhismoney.Se
Ifsheoffendedhimhewouldcortaria
cutheroutofhiswill—supposingshewereinit.Valancydidnot
queria
wanttobecutoutofTio
UncleBenjamin’swill.Shehadbeen
pobre
poorallherlifeandconhecia
knewthegallingbitternessofit.Sosheenduredhisriddles
e
andevensmiledtorturedlittlesmilessobre
overthem.AuntIsabel,downright
e
anddisagreeableasaneastwind,wouldcriticiseherinsomeway—Valancypodia
couldnotpredictjusthow,forAuntIsabelnunca
neverrepeatedacriticism—shefoundalgo
somethingnewwithwhichtojabyoucada
everytime.AuntIsabelpridedherselfonsayingwhatshethought,
mas
butdidn’tlikeitsowellquando
whenotherpeoplesaidwhattheythoughttodela
her.Valancyneversaidwhatshe
achava
thought.CousinGeorgiana—namedafterhergreat-great-grand-mother,whohadbeennamedafterGeorgetheFourth—wouldrecountdolorouslythenamesof
todos
allrelativesandfriendswhohaddieddesde
sincethelastpicnicandwonder“whichofusir
willbethefirsttoir
gonext.”Oppressivelycompetent,AuntMildredwould
falaria
talkendlesslyofherhusbande
andherodiousprodigiesofbabiestoValancy,porque
becauseValancywouldbetheonlyoneshepoderia
couldfindtoputupwithit.Forthe
mesmo
samereason,CousinGladys—reallyFirstCousinGladysonceremoved,accordingtothestrictmaneira
wayinwhichtheStirlingstabulatedrelationship—atall,thinsenhora
ladywhoadmittedshehaduma
asensitivedisposition,woulddescribeminutelythetorturesofherneuritis.E
AndOlive,thewondergirlofthetodo
wholeStirlingclan,whohadtudo
everythingValancyhadnot—beauty,popularity,love,—wouldmostraria
showoffherbeautyandpresumeonherpopularitye
andflauntherdiamondinsigniaofamor
loveinValancy’sdazzled,enviouseyes.Therewouldbenoneofallthis
hoje
today.Andtherewouldbe
não
nopackingupofteaspoons.Thepackingupwas
sempre
alwaysleftforValancyandCousinStickles.E
Andonce,sixyearsago,uma
asilverteaspoonfromAuntWellington’sweddingconjunto
sethadbeenlost.Valancy
nunca
neverheardthelastofthatsilverteaspoon.ItsghostappearedBanquo-likeat
cada
everysubsequentfamilyfeast.Oh,
sim
yes,Valancyknewexactlywhatthepicnicwouldbecomo
likeandsheblessedtherainthathadsalvou
savedherfromit.Therewouldbe
não
nopicnicthisyear.IfAuntWellington
pudesse
couldnotcelebrateonthesacreddia
dayitselfshewouldhavenão
nocelebrationatall.Thank
qualquer
whatevergodstherewereforthat.Sincethere
iria
wouldbenopicnic,Valancymadeuphermindque
that,iftherainheldupintheafternoon,sheiria
wouldgouptothelibraryandgetoutro
anotherofJohnFoster’sbooks.Valancywas
nunca
neverallowedtoreadnovels,mas
butJohnFoster’sbookswerenotnovels.Theywere“naturebooks”—sothelibrarian
contou
toldMrs.FrederickStirling—“allaboutthewoodse
andbirdsandbugsandthingslikethat,youknow.”SoValancywasallowedto
lê
readthem—underprotest,foritwasonlytooevidentthatsheenjoyedthemtoomuch.Itwaspermissible,
até
evenlaudable,toreadtoimproveyourmente
mindandyourreligion,butum
abookthatwasenjoyablewasdangerous.Valancydidnot
sabia
knowwhetherhermindwasbeingimprovedou
ornot;butshefeltvaguely
que
thatifshehadcomeacrossJohnFoster’sbooksyearshá
agolifemighthavebeenadiferente
differentthingforher.Theyseemedtohertoyieldglimpsesofa
mundo
worldintowhichshemightonceter
haveentered,thoughthedoorwasforeverbarredtoheragora
now.Itwasonlywithinthe
último
lastyearthatJohnFoster’sbookshadbeenintheDeerwoodlibrary,embora
thoughthelibrariantoldValancythathehadbeenum
awell-knownwriterforseveralyears.“Wheredoeshelive?”
Valancyhad
perguntou
asked.“Nobodyknows.
Fromhisbookshe
deve
mustbeaCanadian,butnão
nomoreinformationcanbehad.Hispublisherswon’t
dizem
sayaword.QuitelikelyJohnFosteris
um
anomdeplume.Hisbooksaresopopularwecan’tkeeptheminatall,
embora
thoughIreallycan’tseewhatpessoas
peoplefindinthemtoraveover.”“Ithinkthey’rewonderful,”
disse
saidValancy,timidly.“Oh—well—”
MissClarksonsmiledin
uma
apatronisingfashionthatrelegatedValancy’sopinionstolimbo,“Ican’tdizer
sayIcaremuchforbugsmyself.Mas
ButcertainlyFosterseemstosaber
knowallthereistosaber
knowaboutthem.”Valancydidn’t
sabia
knowwhethershecaredmuchforbugseither.ItwasnotJohnFoster’suncannyknowledgeofwildcreatures
e
andinsectlifethatenthralledher.Shecouldhardly
dizer
saywhatitwas—sometantalisinglureofum
amysteryneverrevealed—somehintofum
agreatsecretjustapouco
littlefurtheron—somefaint,elusiveechooflovely,forgottenthings—JohnFoster’smagicwasindefinable.Sim
Yes,shewouldgetanovo
newFosterbook.Itwas
um
amonthsinceshehadThistleHarvest,sosurelyMãe
Mothercouldnotobject.Valancy
tinha
hadreaditfourtimes—shesabia
knewwholepassagesoffbyheart.And—she
quase
almostthoughtshewouldgoe
andseeDr.Trentaboutthatqueerpainao redor
aroundtheheart.Ithadcomeratheroftenlately,
e
andthepalpitationswerebecomingannoying,nottofalar
speakofanoccasionaldizzymomento
momentandaqueershortnessofbreath.Mas
Butcouldshegotovê
seehimwithouttellinganyone?Itwas
um
amostdaringthought.Noneof
a
theStirlingseverconsultedamédico
doctorwithoutholdingafamilycouncile
andgettingUncleJames’approval.Then,they
foram
wenttoDr.AmbroseMarshofPortLawrence,que
whohadmarriedSecondCousinAdelaideStirling.Mas
ButValancydislikedDr.AmbroseMarsh.E
And,besides,shecouldnotchegar
gettoPortLawrence,fifteenmilesdistância
away,withoutbeingtakenthere.Shedidnotwantanyoneto
soubesse
knowaboutherheart.Therewouldbesuch
um
afussmadeandeverymemberofthefamília
familywouldcomedownandfalavam
talkitoverandadvisehere
andcautionherandwarnhere
andtellherhorribletalesofgreat-auntse
andcousinsfortytimesremovedwhotinham
hadbeen“justlikethat”e
and“droppeddeadwithoutamoment’swarning,mydear.”AuntIsabelwould
lembrava
rememberthatshehadalwaysdito
saidDosslookedlikearapariga
girlwhowouldhavehearttrouble—“sopinchede
andpeakedalways”;andUncleWellingtonwould
tomaria
takeitasapersonalinsult,quando
when“noStirlingeverhadheartdiseasebefore”;e
andGeorgianawouldforebodeinperfectlyaudibleasidesque
that“poor,dearlittleDossisn’ttempo
longforthisworld,I’mafraid”;e
andCousinGladyswouldsay,“Why,mycoração
hearthasbeenlikethatforyears,”inatoneque
thatimpliednooneelsehadanybusinesseventoter
haveaheart;andOlive—Olivewouldmerelylook
linda
beautifulandsuperioranddisgustinglyhealthy,asse
iftosay,“Whyalleste
thisfussoverafadedsuperfluitylikeDossquando
whenyouhaveme?”Valancy
sentia
feltthatshecouldn’ttellninguém
anybodyunlessshehadto.She
sentiu
feltquitesuretherewasnada
nothingatallseriouslywrongcom
withherheartandnonecessidade
needofallthepotherthatwouldensuese
ifshementionedit.She
ia
wouldjustslipupquietlye
andseeDr.Trentthatverydia
day.Asforhisbill,she
tinha
hadthetwohundreddollarsque
thatherfatherhadputinos
thebankforherthedia
dayshewasborn.Shewas
nunca
neverallowedtouseeventheinterestofthis,mas
butshewouldsecretlytakeoutsuficiente
enoughtopayDr.Trent.Dr.
Trentwasagruff,outspoken,absent-minded
velho
oldfellow,buthewasarecognisedauthorityonheartdisease,mesmo
evenifhewereonlyageneralpractitionerinout-of-the-worldDeerwood.Dr.Trentwasoverseventy
e
andtherehadbeenrumoursque
thathemeanttoretiresoon.NoneoftheStirlingclanhadevergonetohim
desde
sincehehadtoldCousinGladys,dez
tenyearsbefore,thatherneuritiswastudo
allimaginaryandthatsheenjoyedit.Youcouldn’tpatronise
um
adoctorwhoinsultedyourfirst-cousin-once-removedlikethat—nottomentionthathewasum
aPresbyterianwhenalltheStirlingsiam
wenttotheAnglicanchurch.CHAPTERII
Quando
WhenCousinSticklesknockedatherporta
door,Valancyknewitwashalf-pastsevene
andshemustgetup.Aslongasshecould
lembrava
remember,CousinStickleshadknockedatherporta
doorathalf-pastseven.CousinStickles
e
andMrs.FrederickStirlinghadbeenupdesde
sinceseven,butValancywasallowedtolieabedmeia
halfanhourlongerbecauseofafamilytraditionque
thatshewasdelicate.Valancygotup,
embora
thoughshehatedgettingupmais
morethismorningthanevershehadantes
before.