Notes from the Underground | Progressively Translated Portuguese A1 Books

Notes from the Underground | Progressively Translated Portuguese A1 Books

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I
Iama
doente
sick
man....
Iamaspiteful
homem
man
.
Iamanunattractive
homem
man
.
Ibelievemyliverisdiseased.
However,I
sei
know
nothingatallaboutmydisease,
e
and
donotknowforcertainwhatails
me
me
.
Idon’tconsulta
médico
doctor
forit,andnever
tenha
have
,thoughIhavearespectformedicine
e
and
doctors.
Besides,Iamextremelysuperstitious,sufficientlysotorespectmedicine,anyway(Iamwell-educated
suficiente
enough
nottobesuperstitious,
mas
but
Iamsuperstitious).
No,Irefusetoconsult
um
a
doctorfromspite.
Thatyou
provavelmente
probably
willnotunderstand.
Well,I
entendo
understand
it,though.
Ofcourse,Ican’texplainwhoitispreciselythatIammortifyinginthis
caso
case
bymyspite:
Iamperfectlywellaware
que
that
Icannot“payout”
os
the
doctorsbynotconsulting
los
them
;
Iknowbetterthan
ninguém
anyone
thatbyallthisIam
only
injuringmyselfandnooneelse.
Mas
But
still,ifIdon’tconsult
um
a
doctoritisfromspite.
Myliveris
mau
bad
,well—letitgetworse!
Ihavebeengoingonlike
isso
that
foralongtime—twentyyears.
Agora
Now
Iamforty.
Iusedtobeinthegovernmentservice,
mas
but
amnolonger.
Iwas
um
a
spitefulofficial.
Iwasrude
e
and
tookpleasureinbeingso.
Ididnottakebribes,you
see
,soIwasboundto
encontrar
find
arecompenseinthat,at
menos
least
.
(Apoorjest,butI
vou
will
notscratchitout.
I
escrevi
wrote
itthinkingitwould
soaria
sound
verywitty;
butnowthatIhave
vi
seen
myselfthatIonlywantedtoshowoffin
uma
a
despicableway,Iwillnotscratchitoutonpurpose!)
Quando
When
petitionersusedtocomeforinformationto
os
the
tableatwhichI
sentava
sat
,Iusedtogrindmyteethat
eles
them
,andfeltintenseenjoyment
quando
when
Isucceededinmaking
alguém
anybody
unhappy.
Ialmostdidsucceed.
Forthemost
parte
part
theywerealltimidpeople—ofcourse,theywerepetitioners.
Mas
But
oftheuppishonestherewas
um
one
officerinparticularI
podia
could
notendure.
Hesimply
queria
would
notbehumble,andclankedhisswordin
uma
a
disgustingway.
Icarriedon
uma
a
feudwithhimforeighteenmonthsoverthatsword.
AtlastI
consegui
got
thebetterofhim.
Heleftoffclankingit.
Isso
That
happenedinmyyouth,though.
Mas
But
doyouknow,gentlemen,whatwas
o
the
chiefpointaboutmyspite?
Why,thewhole
ponto
point
,therealstingofitlayinthe
fato
fact
thatcontinually,eveninthe
momento
moment
oftheacutestspleen,Iwasinwardlyconscious
com
with
shamethatIwasnot
only
notaspitefulbutnotevenanembittered
homem
man
,thatIwassimplyscaringsparrowsatrandom
e
and
amusingmyselfbyit.
I
posso
might
foamatthemouth,
mas
but
bringmeadollto
brincar
play
with,givemeacupoftea
com
with
sugarinit,and
talvez
maybe
Ishouldbeappeased.
I
poderia
might
evenbegenuinelytouched,
embora
though
probablyIshouldgrindmyteethatmyselfafterwards
e
and
lieawakeatnight
com
with
shameformonthsafter.
Thatwasmy
jeito
way
.
IwaslyingwhenI
disse
said
justnowthatIwas
um
a
spitefulofficial.
Iwas
mentir
lying
fromspite.
Iwassimplyamusingmyself
com
with
thepetitionersandwiththeofficer,
e
and
inrealityInever
poderia
could
becomespiteful.
Iwasconscious
cada
every
momentinmyselfof
muitos
many
,verymanyelementsabsolutelyoppositeto
isso
that
.
Ifeltthempositivelyswarmingin
mim
me
,theseoppositeelements.
I
sabia
knew
thattheyhadbeenswarminginme
toda
all
mylifeandcravingsomeoutletfrom
mim
me
,butIwouldnot
deixava
let
them,wouldnotletthem,purposelywouldnot
deixava
let
themcomeout.
TheytormentedmetillIwasashamed:
theydrovemetoconvulsionsand—sickened
me
me
,atlast,howtheysickened
me
me
!
Now,arenotyoufancying,gentlemen,
que
that
Iamexpressingremorsefor
algo
something
now,thatIam
pedir
asking
yourforgivenessforsomething?
Iam
certeza
sure
youarefancyingthat...
However,IassureyouIdonot
me importo
care
ifyouare....
Itwasnot
only
thatIcouldnot
tornar
become
spiteful,Ididnot
sabia
know
howtobecomeanything;
neitherspitefulnor
gentil
kind
,neitherarascalnoranhonestman,neitheraheronoraninsect.
Agora
Now
,Iamlivingoutmylifeinmycorner,tauntingmyself
com
with
thespitefulanduselessconsolationthat
um
an
intelligentmancannotbecomeanythingseriously,
e
and
itisonlythefoolwhobecomesanything.
Sim
Yes
,amaninthenineteenthcentury
deve
must
andmorallyoughttobepre-eminentlyacharacterlesscreature;
a
homem
man
ofcharacter,anactive
homem
man
ispre-eminentlyalimitedcreature.
Thatismyconvictionoffortyyears.
Iamfortyyearsold
agora
now
,andyouknowfortyyearsis
uma
a
wholelifetime;
youknowitisextremeoldage.
To
viver
live
longerthanfortyyearsis
bad
manners,isvulgar,immoral.
Quem
Who
doeslivebeyondforty?
Responda
Answer
that,sincerelyandhonestlyI
vou
will
tellyouwhodo:
fools
e
and
worthlessfellows.
Itell
todos
all
oldmenthattotheir
cara
face
,allthesevenerableoldmen,
todos
all
thesesilver-hairedandreverendseniors!
I
digo
tell
thewholeworldthattoits
cara
face
!
Ihavearightto
dizer
say
so,forIshallgoon
viver
living
tosixtymyself.
Toseventy!
Toeighty!
Fica
Stay
,letmetakebreath...
Youimagine
sem
no
doubt,gentlemen,thatI
quero
want
toamuseyou.
Youaremistakeninthat,
também
too
.
Iambynomeans
tão
such
amirthfulpersonasyouimagine,
ou
or
asyoumayimagine;
however,irritatedby
toda
all
thisbabble(andI
sinto
feel
thatyouareirritated)you
acha
think
fittoaskmewhoIam—thenmy
resposta
answer
is,Iamacollegiateassessor.
Iwasintheservice
que
that
Imighthavesomethingto
comer
eat
(andsolelyforthatreason),
e
and
whenlastyearadistantrelation
deixou
left
mesixthousandroublesinhiswillIimmediatelyretiredfromtheservice
e
and
settleddowninmycorner.
Iusedto
viver
live
inthiscornerbefore,
mas
but
nowIhavesettleddowninit.
My
quarto
room
isawretched,horridonein
o
the
outskirtsofthetown.
Myservantisanoldcountry-woman,ill-naturedfromstupidity,
e
and
,moreover,thereisalwaysanastysmell
sobre
about
her.
IamtoldthatthePetersburgclimateis
mau
bad
forme,andthat
com
with
mysmallmeansitis
muito
very
expensivetoliveinPetersburg.
I
sei
know
allthatbetterthanall
estes
these
sageandexperiencedcounsellors
e
and
monitors....
ButIamremaininginPetersburg;
Iamnot
vou
going
awayfromPetersburg!
Iamnot
vou
going
awaybecause...
ech!
Why,itisabsolutely
não
no
matterwhetherIam
indo
going
awayornotgoing
embora
away
.
Butwhatcanadecent
homem
man
speakofwithmostpleasure?
Resposta
Answer
:
Ofhimself.
II
Iwant
agora
now
totellyou,gentlemen,whetheryoucareto
ouvi
hear
itornot,whyI
pude
could
notevenbecomeaninsect.
I
digo
tell
yousolemnly,thatIhave
muitas
many
timestriedtobecome
um
an
insect.
ButIwasnotequal
nem
even
tothat.
Iswear,gentlemen,
que
that
tobetooconsciousis
uma
an
illness—arealthorough-goingillness.
Forman’severydayneeds,itwouldhavebeenquiteenoughtohavetheordinaryhumanconsciousness,thatis,
metade
half
oraquarteroftheamountwhich
cai
falls
tothelotofacultivated
homem
man
ofourunhappynineteenthcentury,especiallyonewhohasthefatalill-lucktoinhabitPetersburg,the
mais
most
theoreticalandintentionaltownonthe
todo
whole
terrestrialglobe.
(Thereareintentional
e
and
unintentionaltowns.)
Itwould
ter
have
beenquiteenough,forinstance,to
ter
have
theconsciousnessbywhichallso-calleddirect
pessoas
persons
andmenofaction
vivem
live
.
IbetyouthinkIam
escrever
writing
allthisfromaffectation,tobewittyattheexpenseofmenofaction;
e
and
whatismore,thatfromill-bredaffectation,Iamclanking
uma
a
swordlikemyofficer.
Mas
But
,gentlemen,whoevercanpridehimselfonhisdiseases
e
and
evenswaggeroverthem?
Embora
Though
,afterall,everyonedoes
façam
do
that;
peopledopridethemselvesontheirdiseases,
e
and
Ido,maybe,
mais
more
thananyone.
Wewillnotdispute
lo
it
;
mycontentionwasabsurd.
Mas
But
yetIamfirmlypersuaded
que
that
agreatdealofconsciousness,every
tipo
sort
ofconsciousness,infact,is
uma
a
disease.
Isticktothat.
Deixemos
Let
usleavethat,too,for
um
a
minute.
Tellmethis:
why
fazer
does
ithappenthatat
o
the
very,yes,attheverymomentswhenIam
mais
most
capableoffeelingeveryrefinementof
tudo
all
thatis“sublimeandbeautiful,”astheyusedto
dizer
say
atonetime,itwould,asthoughofdesign,happentomenot
apenas
only
tofeelbutto
fazer
do
suchuglythings,suchthat...
Bem
Well
,inshort,actionsthat
todos
all
,perhaps,commit;
butwhich,asthoughpurposely,occurredtomeatthevery
momento
time
whenIwasmostconsciousthattheyoughtnottobecommitted.
The
mais
more
consciousIwasofgoodness
e
and
ofallthatwas“sublime
e
and
beautiful,”themoredeeplyIsankintomymire
e
and
themorereadyIwastosinkinitaltogether.
Mas
But
thechiefpointwasthat
tudo
all
thiswas,asitwere,notaccidentalin
mim
me
,butasthoughitwereboundtobeso.
Itwasasthoughitweremy
mais
most
normalcondition,andnotinthe
menor
least
diseaseordepravity,sothatatlast
todo
all
desireinmetostruggle
contra
against
thisdepravitypassed.
Itendedbymy
quase
almost
believing(perhapsactuallybelieving)that
esta
this
wasperhapsmynormalcondition.
Mas
But
atfirst,inthebeginning,whatagoniesIenduredinthatstruggle!
Ididnot
acreditava
believe
itwasthesame
com
with
otherpeople,andallmy
vida
life
Ihidthisfact
sobre
about
myselfasasecret.
Iwasashamed(even
agora
now
,perhaps,Iamashamed):
I
cheguei
got
tothepointof
sentir
feeling
asortofsecretabnormal,despicableenjoymentin
voltar
returning
hometomycorneronsomedisgustingPetersburg
noite
night
,acutelyconsciousthatthat
dia
day
Ihadcommittedaloathsomeaction
novamente
again
,thatwhatwasdone
poderia
could
neverbeundone,andsecretly,inwardlygnawing,gnawingatmyselfforit,tearing
e
and
consumingmyselftillatlastthebitterness
transformou
turned
intoasortofshamefulaccursedsweetness,
e
and
atlast—intopositiverealenjoyment!
Sim
Yes
,intoenjoyment,intoenjoyment!
Iinsistuponthat.
Ihave
falei
spoken
ofthisbecauseI
continuo
keep
wantingtoknowforafactwhether
outras
other
peoplefeelsuchenjoyment?
Iwillexplain;
o
the
enjoymentwasjustfrom
o
the
toointenseconsciousnessofone’sowndegradation;
itwasfrom
sentir
feeling
oneselfthatonehadreached
a
the
lastbarrier,thatitwashorrible,
mas
but
thatitcouldnotbeotherwise;
que
that
therewasnoescapeforyou;
que
that
younevercouldbecome
um
a
differentman;
thateven
se
if
timeandfaithwerestillleftyouto
mudar
change
intosomethingdifferentyou
fossem
would
mostlikelynotwishto
mudar
change
;
orifyoudid
quisesses
wish
to,eventhenyou
quisesses
would
donothing;
becauseperhapsinrealitytherewas
nada
nothing
foryoutochangeinto.
E
And
theworstofitwas,
e
and
therootofit
tudo
all
,thatitwasallinaccord
com
with
thenormalfundamentallawsofover-acuteconsciousness,
e
and
withtheinertiathatwasthedirectresultofthoselaws,
e
and
thatconsequentlyonewasnot
only
unabletochangebut
podia
could
doabsolutelynothing.
Thusitwould
seguiria
follow
,astheresultofacuteconsciousness,thatoneisnottoblameinbeingascoundrel;
asthoughthatwereanyconsolationto
o
the
scoundreloncehehascometorealisethathe
realmente
actually
isascoundrel.
But
suficiente
enough...
.
Ech,Ihavetalked
um
a
lotofnonsense,butwhathaveIexplained?
Como
How
isenjoymentinthistobeexplained?
Mas
But
Iwillexplainit.
I
vou
will
gettothebottomofit!
Thatis
por
why
Ihavetakenupmypen....
Eu
I
,forinstance,havea
grande
great
dealofamourpropre.
Iamassuspicious
e
and
pronetotakeoffenceasahumpback
ou
or
adwarf.
Butuponmy
palavra
word
Isometimeshavehadmomentswhen
se
if
Ihadhappenedtobeslappedinthe
cara
face
Ishould,perhaps,havebeenpositivelygladofit.
I
digo
say
,inearnest,thatIshould
provavelmente
probably
havebeenabletodiscover
mesmo
even
inthatapeculiar
espécie
sort
ofenjoyment—theenjoyment,ofcourse,ofdespair;
mas
but
indespairthereare
os
the
mostintenseenjoyments,especially
quando
when
oneisveryacutelyconsciousof
os
the
hopelessnessofone’sposition.
E
And
whenoneisslappedin
a
the
face—whythentheconsciousnessofbeingrubbedintoapulpwouldpositivelyoverwhelmone.
O
The
worstofitis,lookatitwhich
maneira
way
onewill,itstillturnsoutthatIwas
sempre
always
themosttoblamein
tudo
everything
.
Andwhatismosthumiliatingof
tudo
all
,toblamefornofaultofmyown
mas
but
,sotosay,through
o
the
lawsofnature.
Inthefirst
lugar
place
,toblamebecauseIamclevererthan
qualquer
any
ofthepeoplesurrounding
me
me
.
(Ihavealwaysconsideredmyselfclevererthan
qualquer
any
ofthepeoplesurrounding
me
me
,andsometimes,wouldyou
acredite
believe
it,havebeenpositivelyashamedofit.
At
qualquer
any
rate,Ihaveallmy
vida
life
,asitwere,turnedmyeyesaway
e
and
nevercouldlookpeoplestraightintheface.)
Toblame,finally,
porque
because
evenifIhadhadmagnanimity,Ishould
only
havehadmoresufferingfromthesenseofitsuselessness.
Ishouldcertainlyhave
nunca
never
beenabletodo
nada
anything
frombeingmagnanimous—neithertoforgive,formyassailantwould
talvez
perhaps
haveslappedmefromthelawsofnature,
e
and
onecannotforgivethelawsofnature;
norto
esquecer
forget
,forevenifitwereowingto
os
the
lawsofnature,itisinsulting
todos
all
thesame.
Finally,even
se
if
Ihadwantedtobeanythingbutmagnanimous,haddesiredonthecontrarytorevengemyselfonmyassailant,I
poderia
could
nothaverevengedmyselfon
qualquer
any
oneforanythingbecauseIshouldcertainly
nunca
never
havemadeupmymindto
fazer
do
anything,evenifIhadbeen
capaz
able
to.
WhyshouldInot
tinha
have
madeupmymind?
III
Com
With
peoplewhoknowhowtorevengethemselves
e
and
tostandupforthemselvesingeneral,
como
how
isitdone?
Why,
quando
when
theyarepossessed,letussuppose,bythefeelingofrevenge,thenforthe
tempo
time
thereisnothingelsebut
que
that
feelingleftintheir
todo
whole
being.
Suchagentlemansimplydashesstraightforhisobject
como
like
aninfuriatedbullwithitshornsdown,
e
and
nothingbutawallwillstophim.
(Bytheway:
facingthewall,
tais
such
gentlemen—thatis,the“direct”
pessoas
persons
andmenofaction—aregenuinelynonplussed.
Forthemawallisnotanevasion,asforus
pessoas
people
whothinkandconsequently
fazemos
do
nothing;
itisnotan
desculpa
excuse
forturningaside,an
desculpa
excuse
forwhichweare
sempre
always
veryglad,thoughwescarcely
acreditemos
believe
initourselves,asarule.
Não
No
,theyarenonplussedin
toda
all
sincerity.
Thewallhasforthem
algo
something
tranquillising,morallysoothing,final—maybe
até
even
somethingmysterious...
butofthewalllater.)
Bem
Well
,suchadirectpersonIregardas
o
the
realnormalman,ashistender
mãe
mother
naturewishedtoseehim
quando
when
shegraciouslybroughthimintobeingon
o
the
earth.
Ienvysuch
um
a
mantillIamgreeninthe
rosto
face
.
Heisstupid.
Iamnotdisputingthat,
mas
but
perhapsthenormalman
deva
should
bestupid,howdoyou
sabes
know
?
Perhapsitisvery
bonito
beautiful
,infact.
AndIamthe
mais
more
persuadedofthatsuspicion,
se
if
onecancallitso,bythe
fato
fact
thatifyoutake,forinstance,theantithesisofthenormal
homem
man
,thatis,themanofacuteconsciousness,whohas
veio
come
,ofcourse,notoutofthelapofnature
mas
but
outofaretort
Esse
(this
isalmostmysticism,gentlemen,
mas
but
Isuspectthis,too),
esse
this
retort-mademanissometimessononplussedinthepresenceofhisantithesisthat
com
with
allhisexaggeratedconsciousnesshegenuinely
pensa
thinks
ofhimselfasamouse
e
and
notaman.
It
pode
may
beanacutelyconsciousmouse,yetitisamouse,
enquanto
while
theotherisa
homem
man
,andtherefore,etcaetera,etcaetera.
E
And
theworstofit
é
is
,hehimself,hisveryownself,
olha
looks
onhimselfasamouse;
noone
pede
asks
himtodoso;
e
and
thatisanimportant
ponto
point
.
Nowletuslookat
este
this
mouseinaction.
Letussuppose,forinstance,thatit
sente
feels
insulted,too(andit
quase
almost
alwaysdoesfeelinsulted),
e
and
wantstorevengeitself,
também
too
.
Theremayevenbe
uma
a
greateraccumulationofspiteinitthaninl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
O
The
baseandnastydesiretoventthatspiteonitsassailantrankles
talvez
perhaps
evenmorenastilyinitthaninl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
For
através
through
hisinnatestupiditythelatter
olha
looks
uponhisrevengeasjusticepure
e
and
simple;
whileinconsequenceofhisacuteconsciousness
o
the
mousedoesnotbelievein
o
the
justiceofit.
Tocomeatlasttothedeeditself,totheveryactofrevenge.
Apartfromtheonefundamentalnastinessthelucklessmousesucceedsincreating
em torno
around
itsomanyothernastinessesintheformofdoubts
e
and
questions,addstotheone
pergunta
question
somanyunsettledquestionsthatthereinevitablyworks
até
up
arounditasortoffatalbrew,astinkingmess,
torno
made
upofitsdoubts,emotions,
e
and
ofthecontemptspatuponitbythedirectmenofactionwhostandsolemnlyaboutitasjudges
e
and
arbitrators,laughingatittilltheirhealthysidesache.
Ofcoursethe
única
only
thingleftforitistodismiss
tudo
all
thatwithawaveofitspaw,
e
and
,withasmileofassumedcontemptinwhichitdoesnot
mesmo
even
itselfbelieve,creepignominiouslyintoitsmouse-hole.
There
initsnasty,stinking,underground
lar
home
ourinsulted,crushedandridiculedmousepromptly
torna
becomes
absorbedincold,malignant
e
and
,aboveall,everlastingspite.
Forfortyyearstogetheritwill
lembrará
remember
itsinjurydowntothesmallest,mostignominiousdetails,
e
and
everytimewilladd,ofitself,details
ainda
still
moreignominious,spitefullyteasing
e
and
tormentingitselfwithitsownimagination.
Itwillitselfbeashamedofitsimaginings,
mas
but
yetitwillrecallit
tudo
all
,itwillgoover
e
and
overeverydetail,itwillinventunheardofthings
contra
against
itself,pretendingthatthosethings
podem
might
happen,andwillforgive
nada
nothing
.
Maybeitwillbegintorevengeitself,
também
too
,but,asitwere,piecemeal,intrivialways,frombehindthestove,incognito,
sem
without
believingeitherinits
próprio
own
righttovengeance,orinthesuccessofitsrevenge,
sabendo
knowing
thatfromallitseffortsatrevengeitwillsufferahundredtimes
mais
more
thanheonwhomitrevengesitself,
enquanto
while
he,Idaresay,willnot
nem
even
scratchhimself.
Onitsdeathbedit
vai
will
recallitallover
novo
again
,withinterestaccumulatedoverall
os
the
yearsand...
Butitisjustinthat
frio
cold
,abominablehalfdespair,halfbelief,inthatconsciousburyingoneself
vivo
alive
forgriefintheunderworldforfortyyears,inthatacutelyrecognised
e
and
yetpartlydoubtfulhopelessnessofone’sposition,inthat
inferno
hell
ofunsatisfieddesiresturnedinward,inthatfeverofoscillations,ofresolutionsdeterminedforever
e
and
repentedofagaina
minuto
minute
later—thatthesavourofthatstrangeenjoymentofwhichIhave
falei
spoken
lies.
Itissosubtle,sodifficultofanalysis,that
pessoas
persons
whoarealittlelimited,
ou
or
evensimplypersonsofstrongnerves,willnot
entenderão
understand
asingleatomofit.
“Possibly,”youwilladdonyourownaccount
com
with
agrin,“peoplewillnot
entenderão
understand
iteitherwhohave
nunca
never
receivedaslapintheface,”
e
and
inthatwayyouwillpolitelyhinttomethat
Eu
I
,too,perhaps,havehadtheexperienceofaslapinthe
cara
face
inmylife,andsoI
falo
speak
asonewhoknows.
Ibetthatyouare
pensar
thinking
that.
Butsetyourmindsatrest,gentlemen,Ihavenotreceivedaslapin
o
the
face,thoughitisabsolutelya
questão
matter
ofindifferencetomewhatyou
possam
may
thinkaboutit.
Possibly,I
mesmo
even
regret,myself,thatI
ter
have
givensofewslapsin
a
the
faceduringmylife.
Mas
But
enough...
notanother
palavra
word
onthatsubjectof
tão
such
extremeinteresttoyou.
Iwillcontinuecalmlyconcerning
pessoas
persons
withstrongnerveswhodonot
entendem
understand
acertainrefinementofenjoyment.
Embora
Though
incertaincircumstancesthesegentlemenbellowtheirloudestlikebulls,
embora
though
this,letussuppose,doesthemthegreatestcredit,
no entanto
yet
,asIhavesaid
already
,confrontedwiththeimpossibletheysubsideatonce.
Theimpossible
significa
means
thestonewall!
Whatstonewall?
Por
Why
,ofcourse,thelawsofnature,thedeductionsofnaturalscience,mathematics.