Notes from the Underground | Progressive Norwegian A1 Translation Books

Notes from the Underground | Progressive Norwegian A1 Translation Books

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I
Iama
syk
sick
man....
Iamaspiteful
mann
man
.
Iamanunattractive
mann
man
.
Ibelievemyliverisdiseased.
However,Iknow
ingenting
nothing
atallaboutmydisease,
og
and
donotknowforcertainwhatailsme.
Idon’tconsult
en
a
doctorforit,and
aldri
never
have,thoughIhave
en
a
respectformedicineanddoctors.
Besides,Iamextremelysuperstitious,sufficientlysotorespectmedicine,anyway
Jeg
(I
amwell-educatedenoughnottobesuperstitious,
men
but
Iamsuperstitious).
No,Irefusetoconsult
en
a
doctorfromspite.
Thatyou
sannsynligvis
probably
willnotunderstand.
Well,I
forstår
understand
it,though.
Ofcourse,Ican’texplain
hvem
who
itispreciselythatIammortifyingin
dette
this
casebymyspite:
Iamperfectlywellaware
at
that
Icannot“payout”thedoctorsbynotconsulting
dem
them
;
Iknowbetterthan
noen
anyone
thatbyallthisIam
bare
only
injuringmyselfandnooneelse.
Men
But
still,ifIdon’tconsult
en
a
doctoritisfromspite.
Myliveris
dårlig
bad
,well—letitgetworse!
I
har
have
beengoingonlikethatforalongtime—twentyyears.
Now
Iamforty.
I
pleide
used
tobeinthegovernmentservice,
men
but
amnolonger.
Iwas
en
a
spitefulofficial.
Iwasrude
og
and
tookpleasureinbeingso.
Ididnot
tok
take
bribes,yousee,soIwasboundto
finne
find
arecompenseinthat,atleast.
(Apoorjest,
men
but
Iwillnotscratchit
ut
out
.
Iwroteitthinkingit
ville
would
soundverywitty;
but
now
thatIhaveseenmyselfthatI
bare
only
wantedtoshowoffin
en
a
despicableway,Iwillnotscratchit
ut
out
onpurpose!)
Whenpetitioners
pleide
used
tocomeforinformationtothetableat
der
which
Isat,Iusedtogrindmyteethat
dem
them
,andfeltintenseenjoyment
når
when
Isucceededinmaking
noen
anybody
unhappy.
Ialmostdidsucceed.
Forthe
det meste
most
parttheywerealltimidpeople—of
selvfølgelig
course
,theywerepetitioners.
Butof
de
the
uppishonestherewas
en
one
officerinparticularI
kunne
could
notendure.
Hesimply
ville
would
notbehumble,andclankedhisswordin
en
a
disgustingway.
Icarriedon
en
a
feudwithhimforeighteenmonths
over
over
thatsword.
AtlastI
fikk
got
thebetterofhim.
Heleftoffclanking
den
it
.
Thathappenedinmyyouth,
skjønt
though
.
Butdoyouknow,gentlemen,whatwasthechiefpoint
om
about
myspite?
Why,the
hele
whole
point,therealstingofit
lay
inthefactthatcontinually,eveninthe
øyeblikket
moment
oftheacutestspleen,Iwasinwardlyconscious
med
with
shamethatIwasnotonlynotaspiteful
men
but
notevenanembittered
mann
man
,thatIwassimplyscaringsparrowsatrandom
og
and
amusingmyselfbyit.
Imightfoamatthemouth,
men
but
bringmeadollto
leke
play
with,givemeacupoftea
med
with
sugarinit,andmaybeI
bør
should
beappeased.
Imight
selv
even
begenuinelytouched,though
sannsynligvis
probably
Ishouldgrindmyteethatmyselfafterwards
og
and
lieawakeatnight
med
with
shameformonthsafter.
Det
That
wasmyway.
Iwas
løy
lying
whenIsaidjust
now
thatIwasaspitefulofficial.
Iwas
løy
lying
fromspite.
Iwassimplyamusingmyself
med
with
thepetitionersandwiththeofficer,
og
and
inrealityInever
kunne
could
becomespiteful.
Iwasconscious
hvert
every
momentinmyselfof
mange
many
,verymanyelementsabsolutelyoppositeto
det
that
.
Ifeltthempositivelyswarmingin
meg
me
,theseoppositeelements.
I
visste
knew
thattheyhadbeenswarminginmeallmy
liv
life
andcravingsomeoutletfromme,
men
but
Iwouldnotlet
dem
them
,wouldnotletthem,purposely
ville
would
notletthemcome
ut
out
.
TheytormentedmetillIwasashamed:
theydrovemetoconvulsionsand—sickened
meg
me
,atlast,howtheysickened
meg
me
!
Now,arenotyoufancying,gentlemen,
at
that
Iamexpressingremorsefor
noe
something
now,thatIam
ber
asking
yourforgivenessforsomething?
Iam
sikker
sure
youarefancyingthat...
However,IassureyouIdonotcare
om
if
youare....
Itwasnot
bare
only
thatIcouldnot
bli
become
spiteful,Ididnot
visste
know
howtobecomeanything;
neitherspitefulnor
snill
kind
,neitherarascalnoranhonest
mann
man
,neitheraheronoraninsect.
Now
,Iamlivingoutmy
liv
life
inmycorner,tauntingmyself
med
with
thespitefulanduselessconsolationthat
en
an
intelligentmancannotbecome
noe
anything
seriously,anditis
bare
only
thefoolwhobecomes
noe
anything
.
Yes,amaninthenineteenthcentury
must
andmorallyoughttobepre-eminently
en
a
characterlesscreature;
amanofcharacter,anactive
mann
man
ispre-eminentlyalimitedcreature.
Det
That
ismyconvictionoffortyyears.
Iamfortyyears
gammel
old
now,andyouknowfortyyearsis
et
a
wholelifetime;
youknowitisextremeoldage.
To
leve
live
longerthanfortyyearsis
dårlig
bad
manners,isvulgar,immoral.
Hvem
Who
doeslivebeyondforty?
Svar
Answer
that,sincerelyandhonestlyI
vil
will
tellyouwhodo:
fools
og
and
worthlessfellows.
Itell
alle
all
oldmenthattotheir
ansiktet
face
,allthesevenerableoldmen,
alle
all
thesesilver-hairedandreverendseniors!
I
sier
tell
thewholeworldthattoits
ansiktet
face
!
Ihavearightto
si
say
so,forIshallgoon
leve
living
tosixtymyself.
Toseventy!
Toeighty!
Hold
Stay
,letmetakebreath...
Youimagine
ingen
no
doubt,gentlemen,thatI
ønsker
want
toamuseyou.
Youaremistakenin
det
that
,too.
Iamby
ingen
no
meanssuchamirthful
person
person
asyouimagine,orasyou
kan
may
imagine;
however,irritatedbyall
denne
this
babble(andIfeelthatyouareirritated)youthinkfitto
spørre
ask
mewhoIam—thenmy
svar
answer
is,Iamacollegiateassessor.
Iwasin
den
the
servicethatImight
ha
have
somethingtoeat(andsolelyfor
at
that
reason),andwhenlastyear
en
a
distantrelationleftme
seks
six
thousandroublesinhiswillIimmediatelyretiredfrom
den
the
serviceandsettleddowninmycorner.
I
pleide
used
toliveinthiscorner
før
before
,butnowIhavesettled
ned
down
init.
Myroomisawretched,horridoneintheoutskirtsofthe
byen
town
.
Myservantisan
gammel
old
country-woman,ill-naturedfromstupidity,
og
and
,moreover,thereisalwaysanastysmell
om
about
her.
IamtoldthatthePetersburgclimateis
dårlig
bad
forme,andthat
med
with
mysmallmeansitis
veldig
very
expensivetoliveinPetersburg.
I
vet
know
allthatbetterthanall
disse
these
sageandexperiencedcounsellors
og
and
monitors....
ButIamremaininginPetersburg;
Iamnot
går
going
awayfromPetersburg!
Iamnot
går
going
awaybecause...
ech!
Why,itisabsolutely
ingen
no
matterwhetherIam
går
going
awayornotgoing
bort
away
.
Butwhatcanadecent
mann
man
speakofwithmostpleasure?
Svaret
Answer
:
Ofhimself.
II
I
vil
want
nowtotellyou,gentlemen,whetheryoucareto
høre
hear
itornot,whyI
kunne
could
notevenbecomeaninsect.
I
sier
tell
yousolemnly,thatI
har
have
manytimestriedto
bli
become
aninsect.
ButIwasnotequal
selv
even
tothat.
Iswear,gentlemen,
at
that
tobetooconsciousis
en
an
illness—arealthorough-goingillness.
Forman’severydayneeds,itwouldhavebeenquite
nok
enough
tohavetheordinary
menneskelige
human
consciousness,thatis,half
eller
or
aquarteroftheamountwhich
faller
falls
tothelotofacultivated
mann
man
ofourunhappynineteenthcentury,especiallyonewhohasthefatalill-lucktoinhabitPetersburg,the
mest
most
theoreticalandintentionaltownonthewholeterrestrialglobe.
(Thereareintentional
og
and
unintentionaltowns.)
Itwould
ha
have
beenquiteenough,forinstance,to
ha
have
theconsciousnessbywhich
alle
all
so-calleddirectpersonsandmenofaction
lever
live
.
IbetyouthinkIam
skriver
writing
allthisfromaffectation,tobewittyattheexpenseofmenofaction;
og
and
whatismore,thatfromill-bredaffectation,Iamclanking
et
a
swordlikemyofficer.
Men
But
,gentlemen,whoevercanpridehimselfonhisdiseases
og
and
evenswaggeroverthem?
Om
Though
,afterall,everyonedoes
gjør
do
that;
peopledopridethemselvesontheirdiseases,
og
and
Ido,maybe,
mer
more
thananyone.
Wewillnotdispute
det
it
;
mycontentionwasabsurd.
ButyetIamfirmlypersuaded
at
that
agreatdealofconsciousness,
enhver
every
sortofconsciousness,in
faktisk
fact
,isadisease.
Istickto
det
that
.
Letusleavethat,too,for
et
a
minute.
Tellmethis:
hvorfor
why
doesithappenthatatthevery,
ja
yes
,attheverymoments
når
when
Iammostcapableoffeeling
hver
every
refinementofallthatis“sublime
og
and
beautiful,”astheyusedto
si
say
atonetime,it
ville
would
,asthoughofdesign,happentomenot
bare
only
tofeelbutto
gjøre
do
suchuglythings,suchthat...
Vel
Well
,inshort,actionsthat
alle
all
,perhaps,commit;
butwhich,as
om
though
purposely,occurredtomeatthevery
tidspunktet
time
whenIwasmostconsciousthattheyoughtnottobecommitted.
The
mer
more
consciousIwasofgoodness
og
and
ofallthatwas“sublime
og
and
beautiful,”themoredeeplyIsankintomymire
og
and
themorereadyIwastosinkinitaltogether.
Men
But
thechiefpointwasthat
alt
all
thiswas,asitwere,notaccidentalin
meg
me
,butasthoughitwereboundtobeso.
Itwasas
om
though
itweremymostnormalcondition,
og
and
notintheleastdisease
eller
or
depravity,sothatatlast
alt
all
desireinmetostruggle
mot
against
thisdepravitypassed.
It
endte
ended
bymyalmostbelieving
Kanskje
(perhaps
actuallybelieving)thatthiswas
kanskje
perhaps
mynormalcondition.
Butatfirst,in
den
the
beginning,whatagoniesIenduredinthatstruggle!
Ididnot
trodde
believe
itwasthesame
med
with
otherpeople,andallmy
liv
life
Ihidthisfact
om
about
myselfasasecret.
Iwasashamed(even
now
,perhaps,Iamashamed):
Igottothepointoffeeling
en
a
sortofsecretabnormal,despicableenjoymentinreturning
hjem
home
tomycorneron
noen
some
disgustingPetersburgnight,acutelyconsciousthatthat
dagen
day
Ihadcommittedaloathsomeaction
igjen
again
,thatwhatwasdone
kunne
could
neverbeundone,andsecretly,inwardlygnawing,gnawingatmyselfforit,tearing
og
and
consumingmyselftillatlastthebitternessturnedinto
en
a
sortofshamefulaccursedsweetness,
og
and
atlast—intopositiverealenjoyment!
Ja
Yes
,intoenjoyment,intoenjoyment!
Iinsistupon
det
that
.
Ihavespokenof
dette
this
becauseIkeepwantingto
vite
know
forafactwhether
andre
other
peoplefeelsuchenjoyment?
I
vil
will
explain;
theenjoymentwas
bare
just
fromthetoointenseconsciousnessofone’s
egen
own
degradation;
itwasfromfeelingoneselfthat
man
one
hadreachedthelastbarrier,thatitwashorrible,
men
but
thatitcouldnotbeotherwise;
thattherewasnoescapeforyou;
at
that
younevercouldbecome
en
a
differentman;
thateven
om
if
timeandfaithwere
fortsatt
still
leftyoutochangeintosomethingdifferentyou
ville
would
mostlikelynotwishto
forandre
change
;
orifyoudid
ønsket
wish
to,eventhenyou
ville
would
donothing;
becauseperhapsinreality
det
there
wasnothingforyouto
forandre
change
into.
Andtheworstofitwas,
og
and
therootofit
alt
all
,thatitwasallinaccord
med
with
thenormalfundamentallawsofover-acuteconsciousness,
og
and
withtheinertiathatwasthedirectresultofthoselaws,
og
and
thatconsequentlyonewasnot
bare
only
unabletochangebut
kunne
could
doabsolutelynothing.
Thusit
ville
would
follow,astheresultofacuteconsciousness,thatoneisnottoblameinbeingascoundrel;
as
om
though
thatwereanyconsolationtothescoundrel
når
once
hehascometorealisethathe
faktisk
actually
isascoundrel.
But
nok
enough...
.
Ech,Ihavetalkeda
mye
lot
ofnonsense,butwhat
har
have
Iexplained?
Howisenjoymentin
dette
this
tobeexplained?
ButI
vil
will
explainit.
Iwill
komme
get
tothebottomof
det
it
!
ThatiswhyI
har
have
takenupmypen....
Jeg
I
,forinstance,havea
stor
great
dealofamourpropre.
Iamassuspicious
og
and
pronetotakeoffenceas
en
a
humpbackoradwarf.
Men
But
uponmywordI
noen ganger
sometimes
havehadmomentswhen
hvis
if
Ihadhappenedtobeslappedinthe
ansiktet
face
Ishould,perhaps,havebeenpositivelygladof
det
it
.
Isay,inearnest,
at
that
Ishouldprobablyhavebeen
stand
able
todiscoverevenin
at
that
apeculiarsortofenjoyment—theenjoyment,of
selvfølgelig
course
,ofdespair;
butindespair
det
there
arethemostintenseenjoyments,especially
når
when
oneisveryacutelyconsciousof
de
the
hopelessnessofone’sposition.
Og
And
whenoneisslappedintheface—whythentheconsciousnessofbeingrubbedintoapulp
ville
would
positivelyoverwhelmone.
Theworstofit
er
is
,lookatitwhich
vei
way
onewill,itstillturnsoutthatIwas
alltid
always
themosttoblamein
alt
everything
.
Andwhatismosthumiliatingof
alt
all
,toblamefornofaultofmy
egen
own
but,sotosay,
gjennom
through
thelawsofnature.
Inthe
første
first
place,toblamebecauseIamcleverer
enn
than
anyofthepeoplesurrounding
meg
me
.
(Ihavealwaysconsideredmyselfcleverer
enn
than
anyofthepeoplesurrounding
meg
me
,andsometimes,wouldyou
tro
believe
it,havebeenpositivelyashamedof
det
it
.
Atanyrate,I
har
have
allmylife,asitwere,turnedmyeyes
bort
away
andnevercouldlook
folk
people
straightintheface.)
Toblame,finally,
fordi
because
evenifIhadhadmagnanimity,Ishould
bare
only
havehadmoresufferingfromthesenseofitsuselessness.
Ishouldcertainly
ha
have
neverbeenableto
gjøre
do
anythingfrombeingmagnanimous—neithertoforgive,formyassailant
ville
would
perhapshaveslappedmefromthelawsofnature,
og
and
onecannotforgivethelawsofnature;
norto
glemme
forget
,forevenifitwereowingtothelawsofnature,itisinsulting
alt
all
thesame.
Finally,even
om
if
Ihadwantedtobe
noe
anything
butmagnanimous,haddesiredonthecontrarytorevengemyselfonmyassailant,I
kunne
could
nothaverevengedmyselfon
noen
any
oneforanythingbecauseIshouldcertainly
aldri
never
havemadeupmymindto
gjøre
do
anything,evenifIhadbeen
stand
able
to.
WhyshouldInot
ha
have
madeupmymind?
III
Med
With
peoplewhoknowhowtorevengethemselves
og
and
tostandupforthemselvesingeneral,
hvordan
how
isitdone?
Why,whentheyarepossessed,
la
let
ussuppose,bythefeelingofrevenge,thenforthe
tiden
time
thereisnothingelsebutthatfeeling
la
left
intheirwholebeing.
Slik
Such
agentlemansimplydashesstraightforhisobject
som
like
aninfuriatedbullwithitshorns
ned
down
,andnothingbutawall
vil
will
stophim.
(Bytheway:
facing
de
the
wall,suchgentlemen—thatis,
de
the
“direct”personsandmenofaction—aregenuinelynonplussed.
Forthemawallisnotanevasion,asforus
mennesker
people
whothinkandconsequently
gjør
do
nothing;
itisnotan
unnskyldning
excuse
forturningaside,an
unnskyldning
excuse
forwhichweare
alltid
always
veryglad,thoughwescarcely
tror
believe
initourselves,asarule.
Nei
No
,theyarenonplussedinallsincerity.
Thewall
har
has
forthemsomethingtranquillising,morallysoothing,final—maybeeven
noe
something
mysterious...
butofthewalllater.)
Vel
Well
,suchadirectpersonIregardas
den
the
realnormalman,ashistender
moder
mother
naturewishedtoseehim
da
when
shegraciouslybroughthimintobeingon
den
the
earth.
Ienvysuch
en
a
mantillIamgreeninthe
ansiktet
face
.
Heisstupid.
Iamnotdisputing
det
that
,butperhapsthenormal
mannen
man
shouldbestupid,howdoyouknow?
Kanskje
Perhaps
itisverybeautiful,in
faktisk
fact
.
AndIamthe
mer
more
persuadedofthatsuspicion,ifone
kan
can
callitso,bythe
faktum
fact
thatifyoutake,forinstance,theantithesisofthenormal
mennesket
man
,thatis,themanofacuteconsciousness,who
har
has
come,ofcourse,not
ut
out
ofthelapofnature
men
but
outofaretort(thisis
nesten
almost
mysticism,gentlemen,butIsuspectthis,too),thisretort-made
mennesket
man
issometimessononplussedinthepresenceofhisantithesisthat
med
with
allhisexaggeratedconsciousnesshegenuinely
tenker
thinks
ofhimselfasamouse
og
and
notaman.
It
kan
may
beanacutelyconsciousmouse,
men
yet
itisamouse,
mens
while
theotherisaman,
og
and
therefore,etcaetera,etcaetera.
Og
And
theworstofit
er
is
,hehimself,hisvery
eget
own
self,looksonhimselfas
en
a
mouse;
nooneaskshimto
gjøre
do
so;
andthatis
et
an
importantpoint.
Nowletus
se
look
atthismouseinaction.
La
Let
ussuppose,forinstance,
at
that
itfeelsinsulted,too
Og
(and
italmostalwaysdoes
føler
feel
insulted),andwantstorevengeitself,too.
There
kan
may
evenbeagreateraccumulationofspiteinit
enn
than
inl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
Thebase
og
and
nastydesiretoventthatspiteonitsassailantrankles
kanskje
perhaps
evenmorenastilyinit
enn
than
inl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
For
gjennom
through
hisinnatestupiditythelatter
ser
looks
uponhisrevengeasjusticepure
og
and
simple;
whileinconsequenceofhisacuteconsciousnessthemousedoesnot
tror
believe
inthejusticeof
det
it
.
Tocomeatlasttothedeeditself,totheveryactofrevenge.
Apartfromtheonefundamentalnastinessthelucklessmousesucceedsincreating
rundt
around
itsomanyothernastinessesintheformofdoubts
og
and
questions,addstotheonequestionso
mange
many
unsettledquestionsthatthereinevitably
arbeider
works
uparounditasortoffatalbrew,astinkingmess,made
opp
up
ofitsdoubts,emotions,
og
and
ofthecontemptspatuponitbythedirectmenofactionwho
står
stand
solemnlyaboutitasjudges
og
and
arbitrators,laughingatittilltheirhealthysidesache.
Of
selvfølgelig
course
theonlythingleftforitistodismiss
alt
all
thatwithawaveofitspaw,
og
and
,withasmileofassumedcontemptinwhichitdoesnotevenitself
tror
believe
,creepignominiouslyintoitsmouse-hole.
Der
There
initsnasty,stinking,underground
hjem
home
ourinsulted,crushedandridiculedmousepromptly
blir
becomes
absorbedincold,malignant
og
and
,aboveall,everlastingspite.
Forfortyyears
sammen
together
itwillrememberitsinjury
ned
down
tothesmallest,mostignominiousdetails,
og
and
everytimewilladd,ofitself,details
fortsatt
still
moreignominious,spitefullyteasing
og
and
tormentingitselfwithits
egen
own
imagination.
Itwillitselfbeashamedofitsimaginings,butyetit
vil
will
recallitall,it
vil
will
gooverandover
hver
every
detail,itwillinventunheardofthings
mot
against
itself,pretendingthatthosethings
kan
might
happen,andwillforgive
noe
nothing
.
Maybeitwillbegintorevengeitself,too,
men
but
,asitwere,piecemeal,intrivialways,from
bak
behind
thestove,incognito,withoutbelieving
enten
either
initsownrighttovengeance,
eller
or
inthesuccessofitsrevenge,knowingthatfrom
alle
all
itseffortsatrevengeit
vil
will
sufferahundredtimes
mer
more
thanheonwhomitrevengesitself,
mens
while
he,Idaresay,willnotevenscratchhimself.
Onitsdeathbedit
vil
will
recallitallover
nytt
again
,withinterestaccumulatedover
alle
all
theyearsand...
Butitis
akkurat
just
inthatcold,abominable
halve
half
despair,halfbelief,inthatconsciousburyingoneself
levende
alive
forgriefintheunderworldforfortyyears,inthatacutelyrecognised
og
and
yetpartlydoubtfulhopelessnessofone’sposition,inthathellofunsatisfieddesiresturnedinward,inthatfeverofoscillations,ofresolutionsdeterminedforever
og
and
repentedofagaina
minutt
minute
later—thatthesavourofthatstrangeenjoymentofwhichI
har
have
spokenlies.
Itissosubtle,sodifficultofanalysis,that
personer
persons
whoarealittlelimited,
eller
or
evensimplypersonsofstrongnerves,
vil
will
notunderstandasingleatomofit.
“Possibly,”you
vil
will
addonyourownaccount
med
with
agrin,“peoplewillnot
forstå
understand
iteitherwhohave
aldri
never
receivedaslapintheface,”
og
and
inthatwayyou
vil
will
politelyhinttomethat
Jeg
I
,too,perhaps,havehadtheexperienceofaslapinthe
ansiktet
face
inmylife,andsoI
snakker
speak
asonewhoknows.
Ibetthatyouare
tenker
thinking
that.
Butsetyourmindsatrest,gentlemen,I
har
have
notreceivedaslapinthe
ansiktet
face
,thoughitisabsolutely
en
a
matterofindifferencetomewhatyou
kanskje
may
thinkaboutit.
Possibly,I
selv
even
regret,myself,thatI
har
have
givensofewslapsinthe
ansiktet
face
duringmylife.
But
nok
enough
...
notanotherwordon
det
that
subjectofsuchextremeinteresttoyou.
I
vil
will
continuecalmlyconcerningpersons
med
with
strongnerveswhodonot
forstår
understand
acertainrefinementofenjoyment.
Om
Though
incertaincircumstancesthesegentlemenbellowtheirloudestlikebulls,
om
though
this,letussuppose,
gjør
does
themthegreatestcredit,
likevel
yet
,asIhavesaid
allerede
already
,confrontedwiththeimpossibletheysubsideatonce.
Theimpossible
betyr
means
thestonewall!
Whatstonewall?
Hvorfor
Why
,ofcourse,thelawsofnature,thedeductionsofnaturalscience,mathematics.