Chapter1
ItbeganinaWoman’sClubinLondononaFebruaryafternoon—anuncomfortableclub,andamiserableafternoon—whenMrs.Wilkins,whohadcomedownfromHampsteadtoshopandhadlunchedatherclub,tookupTheTimesfromthetableinthesmoking-room,andrunningherlistlesseyedowntheAgonyColumnsawthis:.
ToThosewhoAppreciateWistariaandSunshine.
SmallmediaevalItalianCastleontheshoresoftheMediterraneantobeLetFurnishedforthemonthofApril.
Necessaryservants
남아
remain.Z,Box1000,TheTimes.
Thatwasitsconception;
yet,asinthecaseofmanyanother,theconceiverwasunawareofitatthemoment.
SoentirelyunawarewasMrs.WilkinsthatherAprilforthatyearhadthenandtherebeensettledforherthatshedroppedthenewspaperwithagesturethatwasbothirritatedandresigned,andwentovertothewindowandstareddrearilyoutatthedrippingstreet.
Notforherweremediaevalcastles,eventhosethatarespeciallydescribedassmall.
NotforhertheshoresinApriloftheMediterranean,andthewistariaandsunshine.
Suchdelightswereonlyfortherich.
Yettheadvertisementhadbeenaddressedtopersonswhoappreciatethesethings,sothatithadbeen,anyhow,addressedtootoher,forshecertainlyappreciatedthem;
morethananybodyknew;
morethanshehadevertold.
Butshewaspoor.
Inthewholeworldshepossessedofherveryownonlyninetypounds,savedfromyeartoyear,putby
조심스럽게
carefullypoundbypound,outofherdressallowance.Shehadscrapedthissumtogetheratthesuggestionofherhusbandasashieldandrefugeagainstarainyday.
Herdressallowance,givenherbyherfather,was£100ayear,sothatMrs.Wilkins’sclotheswerewhatherhusband,urginghertosave,calledmodestandbecoming,andheracquaintancetoeachother,whentheyspokeofheratall,whichwasseldomforshewasverynegligible,calledaperfectsight.
Mr.
Wilkins,asolicitor,encouragedthrift,exceptthatbranchofitwhichgotintohisfood.
Hedidnotcallthatthrift,hecalleditbadhousekeeping.
Butforthethriftwhich,likemoth,penetratedintoMrs.Wilkins’sclothesandspoiltthem,hehadmuchpraise.
“Youneverknow,”hesaid,“whentherewillbearainyday,andyoumaybeverygladtofindyouhaveanest-egg.
사실
Indeedwebothmay.”LookingoutoftheclubwindowintoShaftesburyAvenue—herswasaneconomicalclub,butconvenientforHampstead,whereshelived,andforShoolbred’s,wheresheshopped—Mrs.
Wilkins,havingstoodtheresometimeverydrearily,hermind’seyeontheMediterraneaninApril,andthewistaria,andtheenviableopportunitiesoftherich,whileherbodilyeyewatchedthereallyextremely
끔찍한
horriblesootyrainfallingsteadilyonthehurryingumbrellasandsplashingomnibuses,suddenlywonderedwhetherperhapsthiswasnottherainydayMellersh—MellershwasMr.Wilkins—hadsooftenencouragedhertopreparefor,andwhethertogetoutofsuchaclimateandintothesmallmediaevalcastlewasn’tperhapswhatProvidencehadallalongintendedhertodowithhersavings.Partofhersavings,ofcourse;
perhapsquiteasmallpart.
Thecastle,beingmediaeval,mightalsobedilapidated,anddilapidationswere
확실히
surelycheap.Shewouldn’tintheleastmindafewofthem,becauseyoudidn’tpayfordilapidationswhichwerealreadythere;
onthecontrary—byreducingthepriceyouhadtopaytheyreallypaidyou.
Butwhatnonsensetothinkofit...
SheturnedawayfromthewindowwiththesamegestureofmingledirritationandresignationwithwhichshehadlaiddownTheTimes,andcrossedtheroomtowardsthedoorwiththeintentionofgettinghermackintoshandumbrellaandfightingherwayintooneoftheovercrowdedomnibusesandgoingtoShoolbred’sonherwayhomeandbuyingsomesolesforMellersh’sdinner—Mellershwasdifficultwithfishandlikedonlysoles,exceptsalmon—whenshebeheldMrs.Arbuthnot,awomansheknewbysightasalsolivinginHampsteadandbelongingtotheclub,sittingatthetableinthemiddleoftheroomonwhichthenewspapersandmagazineswerekept,absorbed,inherturn,inthefirstpageofTheTimes.
Mrs.
WilkinshadneveryetspokentoMrs.Arbuthnot,whobelongedtooneofthevariouschurchsets,andwhoanalysed,classified,dividedandregisteredthepoor;
whereassheandMellersh,whentheydidgoout,wenttothepartiesofimpressionistpainters,ofwhominHampsteadthereweremany.
MellershhadasisterwhohadmarriedoneofthemandlivedupontheHeath,andbecauseofthisallianceMrs.Wilkinswasdrawnintoacirclewhichwas
매우
highlyunnaturaltoher,andshehadlearnedtodreadpictures.Shehadtosaythingsaboutthem,andshedidn’tknowwhattosay.
Sheusedtomurmur,“Marvellous,”andfeelthatitwasnotenough.
Butnobodyminded.
Nobodylistened.
NobodytookanynoticeofMrs.Wilkins.
Shewasthekindofpersonwhoisnotnoticedatparties.
Herclothes,infestedbythrift,madeherpracticallyinvisible;
herfacewasnon-arresting;
herconversationwasreluctant;
shewasshy.
Andifone’sclothesandfaceandconversationareallnegligible,thoughtMrs.Wilkins,whorecognisedherdisabilities,what,atparties,isthereleftofone?
AlsoshewasalwayswithWilkins,thatclean-shaven,fine-lookingman,whogaveaparty,merelybycomingtoit,agreatair.
Wilkinswasveryrespectable.
Hewasknowntobehighlythoughtofbyhis
고위
seniorpartners.Hissister’scircleadmiredhim.
Hepronouncedadequatelyintelligentjudgmentsonartandartists.
Hewaspithy;
hewasprudent;
heneversaidawordtoomuch,nor,ontheotherhand,didheeversayawordtoolittle.
Heproducedtheimpressionofkeepingcopiesofeverythinghesaid;
andhewassoobviouslyreliablethatitoftenhappenedthatpeoplewhomethimatthesepartiesbecamediscontentedwiththeirownsolicitors,andaftera
기간
periodofrestlessnessextricatedthemselvesandwenttoWilkins.NaturallyMrs.Wilkinswasblottedout.
“She,”saidhissister,withsomethingherselfofthejudicial,thedigested,andthefinalinhermanner,“shouldstayathome.”
ButWilkinscouldnotleavehiswifeathome.
Hewasafamilysolicitor,andallsuchhavewivesandshowthem.
Withhisintheweekhewenttoparties,andwithhisonSundayshewenttochurch.
Beingstillfairlyyoung—hewasthirty-nine—andambitiousofoldladies,ofwhomhehadnotyetacquiredinhispracticeasufficientnumber,hecouldnotaffordtomisschurch,anditwastherethatMrs.Wilkinsbecamefamiliar,thoughneverthroughwords,withMrs.Arbuthnot.
Shesawhermarshallingthechildrenofthepoorintopews.
Shewouldcomeinattheheadoftheprocessionfromthe
일요일
SundaySchoolexactlyfiveminutesbeforethechoir,andgetherboysandgirlsneatlyfittedintotheirallottedseats,anddownontheirlittlekneesintheirpreliminaryprayer,andupagainontheirfeetjustas,totheswellingorgan,thevestrydooropened,andthechoirandclergy,bigwiththelitaniesandcommandmentstheywerepresentlytorollout,emerged.Shehadasadface,yetshewasevidentlyefficient.
ThecombinationusedtomakeMrs.Wilkinswonder,forshehadbeentoldbyMellersh,ondayswhenshehadonlybeenabletogetplaice,thatifonewereefficientonewouldn’tbedepressed,andthatifonedoesone’sjobwellonebecomesautomatically
밝고
brightandbrisk.AboutMrs.Arbuthnottherewasnothing
밝고
brightandbrisk,thoughmuchinherwaywiththe일요일
SundaySchoolchildrenthatwasautomatic;butwhenMrs.Wilkins,turningfromthewindow,caughtsightofherintheclubshewasnotbeingautomaticatall,butwaslookingfixedlyatoneportionofthefirstpageofTheTimes,holdingthepaperquitestill,hereyesnotmoving.
Shewasjuststaring;
andherface,asusual,wasthefaceofapatientanddisappointedMadonna.
Obeyinganimpulseshewonderedatevenwhileobeyingit,Mrs.Wilkins,theshyandthereluctant,insteadofproceedingasshehadintendedtothecloakroomandfromthencetoSchoolbred’sinsearchofMellersh’sfish,stoppedatthetableandsatdownexactlyoppositeMrs.Arbuthnot,towhomshehadneveryetspokeninherlife.
Itwasoneofthoselong,narrowrefectorytables,sothattheywerequiteclosetoeachother.
Mrs.
Arbuthnot,however,didnotlookup.
Shecontinuedtogaze,witheyesthatseemedtobedreaming,atonespotonlyofTheTimes.
Mrs.
Wilkinswatchedheraminute,tryingtoscrewupcouragetospeaktoher.
Shewantedtoaskherifshehadseentheadvertisement.
Shedidnotknowwhyshewantedtoaskherthis,butshewantedto.
Howstupidnottobeabletospeaktoher.
Shelookedsokind.
Shelookedsounhappy.
Whycouldn’ttwounhappypeoplerefresheachotherontheirwaythroughthisdustybusinessoflifebyalittletalk—real,naturaltalk,aboutwhattheyfelt,whattheywouldhaveliked,whattheystilltriedtohope?
AndshecouldnothelpthinkingthatMrs.Arbuthnot,too,wasreadingthatverysameadvertisement.
Hereyeswereontheverypartofthepaper.
Wasshe,too,picturingwhatitwouldbelike—thecolour,thefragrance,thelight,the
부드러운
softlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks?Colour,fragrance,light,sea;
insteadofShaftesburyAvenue,andthewetomnibuses,andthefishdepartmentatShoolbred’s,andtheTubetoHampstead,anddinner,andto-morrowthesameandthedayafterthesameandalwaysthesame...
SuddenlyMrs.Wilkinsfoundherselfleaningacrossthetable.
“Areyoureadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria?”
sheheardherselfasking.
NaturallyMrs.Arbuthnotwassurprised;
butshewasnothalfsomuchsurprisedasMrs.Wilkinswasatherselfforasking.
Mrs.
Arbuthnothadnotyettoherknowledgeseteyesontheshabby,lank,loosely-put-togetherfiguresittingoppositeher,withitssmallfreckledfaceandbiggreyeyesalmostdisappearingunderasmashed-downwet-weather
모자
hat,andshegazedatheramomentwithoutanswering.Shewasreadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria,orratherhadreadaboutittenminutesbefore,andsincethenhadbeenlostindreams—oflight,ofcolour,offragrance,ofthe
부드러운
softlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks...“Whydoyouaskmethat?”
shesaidinhergravevoice,forhertrainingofandbythepoorhadmadehergraveandpatient.
Mrs.
Wilkinsflushedandlookedexcessivelyshyandfrightened.
“Oh,onlybecauseIsawittoo,andIthoughtperhaps—Ithoughtsomehow—”
shestammered.
WhereuponMrs.Arbuthnot,hermindbeingusedtogettingpeopleintolistsanddivisions,fromhabitconsidered,asshegazedthoughtfullyatMrs.Wilkins,underwhatheading,supposingshehadtoclassifyher,shecouldmostproperlybeput.
“AndIknowyoubysight,”wentonMrs.Wilkins,who,likealltheshy,onceshewasstartedplungedon,frighteningherselftomoreandmorespeechbythesheersoundofwhatshehadsaidlastinherears.
“EverySunday—Iseeyouevery
일요일
Sundayinchurch—”.“Inchurch?”
echoedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Andthisseemssuchawonderfulthing—thisadvertisementaboutthewistaria—and—”.
Mrs.
Wilkins,whomusthavebeenatleastthirty,brokeoffandwriggledinherchairwiththemovementofanawkwardandembarrassedschoolgirl.
“Itseemssowonderful,”shewentoninakindofburst,“and—itissuchamiserableday...”
AndthenshesatlookingatMrs.Arbuthnotwiththeeyesofanimprisoneddog.
“Thispoorthing,”thoughtMrs.Arbuthnot,whoselifewasspentinhelpingandalleviating,“needsadvice.”
Sheaccordinglypreparedherselfpatientlytogiveit.
“Ifyouseemeinchurch,”shesaid,kindlyandattentively,“IsupposeyouliveinHampsteadtoo?”
“Ohyes,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
Andsherepeated,herheadonitslongthinneckdroopingalittleasiftherecollectionofHampsteadbowedher,“Ohyes.”
“Where?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot,who,whenadvicewasneeded,naturallyfirstproceededtocollectthefacts.
ButMrs.Wilkins,layingherhandsoftlyandcaressinglyonthepartofTheTimeswheretheadvertisementwas,asthoughthemereprintedwordsofitwere
귀중한
precious,onlysaid,“Perhapsthat’swhythisseemssowonderful.”“No—Ithinkthat’swonderfulanyhow,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,forgettingfactsandfaintlysighing.
“Thenyouwerereadingit?”
“Yes,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,hereyesgoingdreamyagain.
“Wouldn’titbewonderful?”
murmuredMrs.Wilkins.
“Wonderful,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot.
Herface,whichhadlitup,fadedintopatienceagain.
“Verywonderful,”shesaid.
“Butit’snousewastingone’stimethinkingofsuchthings.”
“Oh,butitis,”wasMrs.Wilkins’squick,surprisingreply;
surprisingbecauseitwassomuchunliketherestofher—thecharacterlesscoatandskirt,thecrumpled
모자
hat,theundecidedwispofhairstragglingout.“Andjusttheconsideringofthemisworthwhileinitself—suchachangefromHampstead—andsometimesIbelieve—Ireallydobelieve—ifoneconsidershardenoughonegetsthings.”
Mrs.
Arbuthnotobservedherpatiently.
Inwhatcategorywouldshe,supposingshehadto,puther?
“Perhaps,”shesaid,leaningforwardalittle,“youwilltellmeyourname.
Ifwearetobefriends”—shesmiledhergravesmile—“asIhopeweare,wehadbetterbeginatthebeginning.”
“Ohyes—howkindofyou.
I’mMrs.Wilkins,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Idon’texpect,”sheadded,flushing,asMrs.Arbuthnotsaidnothing,“thatitconveysanythingtoyou.
Sometimesit—itdoesn’tseemtoconveyanythingtomeeither.
But”—shelookedroundwithamovementofseekinghelp—“IamMrs.Wilkins.”
Shedidnotlikehername.
Itwasamean,smallname,withakindoffacetioustwist,shethought,aboutitsendliketheupwardcurveofapugdog’stail.
Thereitwas,however.
Therewasnodoinganythingwithit.
WilkinsshewasandWilkinsshewouldremain;
andthoughherhusbandencouragedhertogiveitonalloccasionsasMrs.Mellersh-Wilkinssheonlydidthatwhenhewaswithinearshot,forshethoughtMellershmadeWilkinsworse,emphasisingitinthewayChatsworthonthegate-postsofavillaemphasisesthevilla.
WhenfirsthesuggestedsheshouldaddMellershshehadobjectedfortheabovereason,andafterapause—Mellershwasmuchtooprudenttospeakexceptafterapause,duringwhichpresumablyhewastakingacarefulmentalcopyofhiscomingobservation—hesaid,muchdispleased,“ButIamnotavilla,”andlookedatherashelookswhohopes,forperhapsthehundredthtime,thathemaynothavemarriedafool.
Ofcoursehewasnotavilla,Mrs.Wilkinsassuredhim;
shehadneversupposedhewas;
shehadnotdreamedofmeaning...
shewasonlyjustthinking...
ThemoresheexplainedthemoreearnestbecameMellersh’shope,familiartohimbythistime,forhehadthenbeenahusbandfortwoyears,thathemightnotbyanychancehavemarriedafool;
andtheyhadaprolongedquarrel,ifthatcanbecalledaquarrelwhichisconductedwithdignifiedsilenceononesideandearnestapologyontheother,astowhetherornoMrs.WilkinshadintendedtosuggestthatMr.Wilkinswasavilla.
“Ibelieve,”shehadthoughtwhenitwasatlastover—ittookalongwhile—“thatanybodywouldquarrelaboutanythingwhenthey’venotleftoffbeingtogetherforasingledayfortwowholeyears.
Whatwebothneedisaholiday.”
“Myhusband,”wentonMrs.WilkinstoMrs.Arbuthnot,tryingtothrowsomelightonherself,“isasolicitor.
He—”
ShecastaboutforsomethingshecouldsayelucidatoryofMellersh,andfound:
“He’sveryhandsome.”
“Well,”saidMrs.Arbuthnotkindly,“thatmustbeagreatpleasuretoyou.”
“Why?”
askedMrs.Wilkins.
“Because,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,alittletakenaback,forconstantintercoursewiththepoorhadaccustomedhertohaveherpronouncementsacceptedwithoutquestion,“becausebeauty—handsomeness—isagiftlikeanyother,andifitisproperlyused—”.
Shetrailedoffintosilence.
Mrs.Wilkins’sgreatgreyeyeswerefixedonher,anditseemedsuddenlytoMrs.Arbuthnotthatperhapsshewasbecomingcrystallisedintoahabitofexposition,andofexpositionafterthemannerofnursemaids,throughhavinganaudiencethatcouldn’tbutagree,thatwouldbeafraid,ifitwished,tointerrupt,thatdidn’tknow,thatwas,infact,athermercy.
ButMrs.Wilkinswasnotlistening;
forjustthen,absurdasitseemed,apicturehadflashedacrossherbrain,andthereweretwofiguresinitsittingtogetherunderagreattrailingwistariathatstretchedacrossthebranchesofatreeshedidn’tknow,anditwasherselfandMrs.Arbuthnot—shesawthem—shesawthem.
Andbehindthem,brightinsunshine,wereoldgreywalls—themediaevalcastle—shesawit—theywerethere...
She
따라서
thereforestaredatMrs.Arbuthnotanddidnothearawordshesaid.AndMrs.ArbuthnotstaredtooatMrs.Wilkins,arrestedbytheexpressiononherface,whichwassweptbytheexcitementofwhatshesaw,andwasasluminousandtremulousunderitaswaterinsunlightwhenitisruffledbyagustofwind.
Atthismoment,ifshehadbeenataparty,Mrs.Wilkinswouldhavebeenlookedatwithinterest.
Theystaredateachother;
Mrs.Arbuthnotsurprised,inquiringly,Mrs.Wilkinswiththeeyesofsomeonewhohashadarevelation.
Ofcourse.
Thatwashowitcouldbedone.
Sheherself,shebyherself,couldn’t
감당할
affordit,andwouldn’tbeable,evenifshecould감당할
affordit,togothereallalone;butsheandMrs.Arbuthnottogether...
Sheleanedacrossthetable.
“Whydon’twetryandgetit?”
shewhispered.
Mrs.
Arbuthnotbecameevenmorewide-eyed.
“Getit?”
sherepeated.
“Yes,”saidMrs.Wilkins,stillasthoughshewereafraidofbeingoverheard.
“NotjustsithereandsayHowwonderful,andthengohometoHampsteadwithouthavingputoutafinger—gohomejustasusualandseeaboutthedinnerandthefishjustaswe’vebeendoingforyearsandyearsandwillgoondoingforyearsandyears.
Infact,”saidMrs.Wilkins,flushingtotherootsofherhair,forthesoundofwhatshewassaying,ofwhatwascomingpouringout,frightenedher,andyetshecouldn’tstop,“Iseenoendtoit.
Thereisnoendtoit.
Sothatthereoughttobeabreak,thereoughttobeintervals—ineverybody’sinterests.
Why,itwouldreallybebeingunselfishtogoawayandbehappyforalittle,becausewewouldcomebacksomuchnicer.
Yousee,afterabiteverybodyneedsaholiday.”
“But—howdoyoumean,getit?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Takeit,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Takeit?”