Chapter1
ItbeganinaWoman’sClubinLondonona
Februari
Februaryafternoon—anuncomfortableclub,andamiserableafternoon—whenMrs.Wilkins,whohadcomedownfromHampsteadtoshopandhadlunchedatherclub,tookupTheTimesfromthetableinthesmoking-room,andrunningherlistlesseyedowntheAgonyKolom
Columnsawthis:.ToThosewhoAppreciateWistariaand
Sunshine
Sunshine.SmallmediaevalItalianCastleontheshoresoftheMediterraneantobeLetFurnishedforthemonthofApril.
Necessaryservantsremain.
Z,Box1000,TheTimes.
Thatwasitsconception;
yet,asinthecaseofmanyanother,theconceiverwasunawareofitatthemoment.
Soentirely
menyadari
unawarewasMrs.WilkinsthatherAprilforthatyearhadthenandtherebeensettledforherthatshedroppedthenewspaperwithagerakan
gesturethatwasbothirritatedandresigned,andwentovertothewindowandstareddrearilyoutatthedrippingstreet.Notforherweremediaevalcastles,eventhosethatare
khusus
speciallydescribedassmall.NotforhertheshoresinApriloftheMediterranean,andthewistariaand
sinar matahari
sunshine.Suchdelightswereonlyfortherich.
Yetthe
iklan
advertisementhadbeenaddressedtopersonswhoappreciatethesethings,sothatithadbeen,bagaimanapun
anyhow,addressedtootoher,forshecertainlyappreciatedthem;morethananybodyknew;
morethanshehadevertold.
Butshewaspoor.
Inthewholeworldshe
memiliki
possessedofherveryownonlyninetypounds,savedfromyeartoyear,putbycarefullypound
poundbypound,outofherdresstunjangan
allowance.Shehadscrapedthis
jumlah
sumtogetheratthesuggestionofherhusbandasaperisai
shieldandrefugeagainstahujan
rainyday.Herdressallowance,givenherbyherfather,was£100ayear,sothatMrs.Wilkins’sclotheswerewhatherhusband,urginghertosave,called
sederhana
modestandbecoming,andherkenalan
acquaintancetoeachother,whentheyspokeofheratall,whichwasjarang
seldomforshewasverynegligible,calledaperfectsight.Mr.
Wilkins,a
pengacara
solicitor,encouragedthrift,exceptthatcabang
branchofitwhichgotintohisfood.Hedidnotcallthatthrift,hecalleditbadhousekeeping.
Butforthethriftwhich,like
ngengat
moth,penetratedintoMrs.Wilkins’sclothesandspoiltthem,hehadmuchpujian
praise.“Youneverknow,”hesaid,“whentherewillbea
hujan
rainyday,andyoumaybeverygladtofindyouhaveanest-egg.Indeedwebothmay.”
LookingoutoftheclubwindowintoShaftesburyAvenue—herswasan
ekonomis
economicalclub,butconvenientforHampstead,whereshelived,andforShoolbred’s,wheresheshopped—Mrs.Wilkins,havingstoodtheresometimeverydrearily,hermind’seyeontheMediterraneaninApril,andthewistaria,andtheenviableopportunitiesoftherich,whileherbodilyeyewatchedthereallyextremelyhorriblesootyrainfalling
terus
steadilyonthehurryingumbrellasandsplashingomnibuses,suddenlywonderedwhetherperhapsthiswasnottherainydayMellersh—MellershwasMr.Wilkins—hadsooftenencouragedhertopreparefor,andwhethertogetoutofsuchaclimateandintothesmallmediaevalcastlewasn’tperhapswhatProvidencehadallalongintendedhertodowithhersavings.Partofhersavings,ofcourse;
perhapsquiteasmallpart.
Thecastle,beingmediaeval,mightalsobedilapidated,anddilapidationsweresurelycheap.
Shewouldn’tintheleastmindafewofthem,becauseyoudidn’tpayfordilapidationswhichwerealreadythere;
onthecontrary—by
mengurangi
reducingthepriceyouhadtopaytheyreallypaidyou.Butwhatnonsensetothinkofit...
Sheturnedawayfromthewindowwiththesame
gerakan
gestureofmingledirritationandpengunduran diri
resignationwithwhichshehadlaiddownTheTimes,andcrossedtheroomtowardsthedoorwiththeniat
intentionofgettinghermackintoshandpayung
umbrellaandfightingherwayintooneoftheovercrowdedomnibusesandgoingtoShoolbred’sonherwayhomeandbuyingsomesolesforMellersh’sdinner—Mellershwasdifficultwithfishandlikedonlysoles,exceptsalmon—whenshebeheldMrs.Arbuthnot,awomansheknewbysightasalsolivinginHampsteadandbelongingtotheclub,sittingatthetableinthemiddleoftheroomonwhichthenewspapersandmagazineswerekept,absorbed,inherturn,inthefirstpageofTheTimes.Mrs.
WilkinshadneveryetspokentoMrs.Arbuthnot,whobelongedtooneofthe
berbagai
variouschurchsets,andwhoanalysed,classified,dividedandregisteredthepoor;whereassheandMellersh,whentheydidgoout,wenttothepartiesofimpressionistpainters,ofwhominHampsteadthereweremany.
Mellershhadasisterwhohadmarriedoneofthemandliveduponthe
Heath
Heath,andbecauseofthisaliansi
allianceMrs.Wilkinswasdrawnintoacirclewhichwashighlyunnaturaltoher,andshehadlearnedtotakut
dreadpictures.Shehadtosaythingsaboutthem,andshedidn’tknowwhattosay.
Sheusedto
bergumam
murmur,“Marvellous,”andfeelthatitwasnotenough.Butnobodyminded.
Nobodylistened.
NobodytookanynoticeofMrs.Wilkins.
Shewasthekindofpersonwhoisnotnoticedatparties.
Herclothes,infestedbythrift,madeher
praktis
practicallyinvisible;herfacewasnon-arresting;
herconversationwas
enggan
reluctant;shewasshy.
Andifone’sclothesandfaceandconversationareallnegligible,thoughtMrs.Wilkins,who
mengakui
recognisedherdisabilities,what,atparties,isthereleftofone?AlsoshewasalwayswithWilkins,thatclean-shaven,fine-lookingman,whogaveaparty,
hanya
merelybycomingtoit,agreatair.Wilkinswasvery
terhormat
respectable.Hewasknowntobehighlythoughtofbyhisseniorpartners.
Hissister’scircleadmiredhim.
He
mengucapkan
pronouncedadequatelyintelligentjudgmentsonartandartists.Hewaspithy;
hewasprudent;
heneversaidawordtoomuch,nor,ontheotherhand,didheeversayawordtoolittle.
Heproducedthe
kesan
impressionofkeepingcopiesofeverythinghesaid;andhewassoobviously
dapat diandalkan
reliablethatitoftenhappenedthatpeoplewhomethimatthesepartiesbecamediscontentedwiththeirownsolicitors,andafteraperiodofkegelisahan
restlessnessextricatedthemselvesandwenttoWilkins.Tentu
NaturallyMrs.Wilkinswasblottedout.“She,”saidhissister,withsomethingherselfofthe
yudisial
judicial,thedigested,andthefinalinhermanner,“shouldstayathome.”ButWilkinscouldnotleavehiswifeathome.
Hewasafamily
pengacara
solicitor,andallsuchhavewivesandshowthem.Withhisintheweekhewenttoparties,andwithhisonSundayshewenttochurch.
Beingstillfairlyyoung—hewasthirty-nine—and
ambisius
ambitiousofoldladies,ofwhomhehadnotyetacquiredinhispracticeasufficientnumber,hecouldnotaffordtomisschurch,anditwastherethatMrs.Wilkinsbecamefamiliar,thoughneverthroughwords,withMrs.Arbuthnot.Shesawhermarshallingthechildrenofthepoorintopews.
Shewouldcomeinattheheadofthe
prosesi
processionfromtheSundaySchoolexactlyfiveminutesbeforethepaduan suara
choir,andgetherboysandgirlsrapi
neatlyfittedintotheirallottedseats,anddownontheirlittlekneesintheirawal
preliminaryprayer,andupagainontheirfeetjustas,totheswellingorgan,thevestrydooropened,andthepaduan suara
choirandclergy,bigwiththelitaniesandcommandmentstheywerepresentlytorollout,muncul
emerged.Shehadasadface,yetshewas
jelas
evidentlyefficient.ThecombinationusedtomakeMrs.Wilkinswonder,forshehadbeentoldbyMellersh,ondayswhenshehadonlybeenabletogetplaice,thatifonewere
efisien
efficientonewouldn’tbedepressed,andthatifonedoesone’sjobwellonebecomesautomaticallybrightandbrisk.AboutMrs.Arbuthnottherewasnothingbrightandbrisk,thoughmuchinherwaywiththeSundaySchoolchildrenthatwas
otomatis
automatic;butwhenMrs.Wilkins,turningfromthewindow,caughtsightofherintheclubshewasnotbeing
otomatis
automaticatall,butwaslookingfixedlyatonebagian
portionofthefirstpageofTheTimes,holdingthepaperquitestill,hereyesnotmoving.Shewasjuststaring;
andherface,asusual,wasthefaceofapatientanddisappointedMadonna.
Obeyingan
dorongan
impulseshewonderedatevenwhileobeyingit,Mrs.Wilkins,theshyandtheenggan
reluctant,insteadofproceedingasshehadintendedtothecloakroomandfromthencetoSchoolbred’sinsearchofMellersh’sfish,stoppedatthetableandsatdownexactlyoppositeMrs.Arbuthnot,towhomshehadneveryetspokeninherlife.Itwasoneofthoselong,
sempit
narrowrefectorytables,sothattheywerequiteclosetoeachother.Mrs.
Arbuthnot,however,didnotlookup.
Shecontinuedtogaze,witheyesthatseemedtobedreaming,atonespotonlyofTheTimes.
Mrs.
Wilkinswatchedheraminute,tryingtoscrewupcouragetospeaktoher.
Shewantedtoaskherifshehadseenthe
iklan
advertisement.Shedidnotknowwhyshewantedtoaskherthis,butshewantedto.
Howstupidnottobeabletospeaktoher.
Shelookedsokind.
Shelookedsounhappy.
Whycouldn’ttwounhappypeople
menyegarkan
refresheachotherontheirwaythroughthisberdebu
dustybusinessoflifebyalittletalk—real,naturaltalk,aboutwhattheyfelt,whattheywouldhaveliked,whattheystilltriedtohope?AndshecouldnothelpthinkingthatMrs.Arbuthnot,too,wasreadingthatverysame
iklan
advertisement.Hereyeswereontheverypartofthepaper.
Wasshe,too,picturingwhatitwouldbelike—the
warna
colour,thefragrance,thelight,thesoftlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks?Warna
Colour,fragrance,light,sea;insteadofShaftesbury
Avenue
Avenue,andthewetomnibuses,andthefishdepartmentatShoolbred’s,andtheTubetoHampstead,anddinner,andto-morrowthesameandthedayafterthesameandalwaysthesame...SuddenlyMrs.Wilkinsfoundherselfleaningacrossthetable.
“Areyoureadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria?”
sheheardherselfasking.
Tentu
NaturallyMrs.Arbuthnotwassurprised;butshewasnothalfsomuchsurprisedasMrs.Wilkinswasatherselfforasking.
Mrs.
Arbuthnothadnotyettoherknowledgeseteyesontheshabby,lank,loosely-put-togetherfiguresittingoppositeher,withitssmallfreckledfaceandbig
abu
greyeyesalmostdisappearingunderasmashed-downwet-weatherhat,andshegazedatheramomentwithoutanswering.Shewasreadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria,orratherhadreadaboutittenminutesbefore,andsincethenhadbeenlostindreams—oflight,of
warna
colour,offragrance,ofthesoftlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks...“Whydoyouaskmethat?”
shesaidinhergravevoice,forhertrainingofandbythepoorhadmadehergraveandpatient.
Mrs.
Wilkinsflushedandlookedexcessivelyshyandfrightened.
“Oh,onlybecauseIsawittoo,andIthoughtperhaps—Ithoughtsomehow—”
shestammered.
WhereuponMrs.Arbuthnot,hermindbeingusedtogettingpeopleintolistsanddivisions,from
kebiasaan
habitconsidered,asshegazedthoughtfullyatMrs.Wilkins,underwhatheading,supposingshehadtoclassifyher,shecouldmostproperlybeput.“AndIknowyoubysight,”wentonMrs.Wilkins,who,likealltheshy,onceshewasstartedplungedon,frighteningherselftomoreandmorespeechbythesheersoundofwhatshehadsaidlastinherears.
“EverySunday—IseeyoueverySundayinchurch—”.
“Inchurch?”
echoedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Andthisseemssuchawonderfulthing—thisadvertisementaboutthewistaria—and—”.
Mrs.
Wilkins,whomusthavebeenatleastthirty,brokeoffandwriggledinherchairwiththemovementofan
canggung
awkwardandembarrassedschoolgirl.“Itseemssowonderful,”shewentoninakindof
ledakan
burst,“and—itissuchamiserableday...”AndthenshesatlookingatMrs.Arbuthnotwiththeeyesofanimprisoneddog.
“Thispoorthing,”thoughtMrs.Arbuthnot,whoselifewasspentinhelpingand
meringankan
alleviating,“needsadvice.”Sheaccordinglypreparedherself
sabar
patientlytogiveit.“Ifyouseemeinchurch,”shesaid,kindlyandattentively,“IsupposeyouliveinHampsteadtoo?”
“Ohyes,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
Andsherepeated,herheadonitslongthinneckdroopingalittleasifthe
ingatan
recollectionofHampsteadbowedher,“Ohyes.”“Where?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot,who,whenadvicewasneeded,naturallyfirst
melanjutkan
proceededtocollectthefacts.ButMrs.Wilkins,layingherhand
lembut
softlyandcaressinglyonthepartofTheTimeswheretheiklan
advertisementwas,asthoughthemereprintedwordsofitwereprecious,onlysaid,“Perhapsthat’swhythisseemssowonderful.”“No—Ithinkthat’swonderfulanyhow,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,forgettingfactsandfaintlysighing.
“Thenyouwerereadingit?”
“Yes,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,hereyesgoingdreamyagain.
“Wouldn’titbewonderful?”
murmuredMrs.Wilkins.
“Wonderful,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot.
Herface,whichhad
menyala
litup,fadedintopatienceagain.“Verywonderful,”shesaid.
“Butit’snousewastingone’stimethinkingofsuchthings.”
“Oh,butitis,”wasMrs.Wilkins’squick,surprising
jawaban
reply;surprisingbecauseitwassomuchunliketherestofher—thecharacterlesscoatand
rok
skirt,thecrumpledhat,theundecidedwispofhairstragglingout.“Andjusttheconsideringofthemisworthwhileinitself—suchachangefromHampstead—andsometimesIbelieve—Ireallydobelieve—ifoneconsidershardenoughonegetsthings.”
Mrs.
Arbuthnotobservedher
sabar
patiently.Inwhatcategorywouldshe,supposingshehadto,puther?
“Perhaps,”shesaid,leaningforwardalittle,“youwilltellmeyourname.
Ifwearetobefriends”—shesmiledhergravesmile—“asIhopeweare,wehadbetterbeginatthebeginning.”
“Ohyes—howkindofyou.
I’mMrs.Wilkins,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Idon’texpect,”sheadded,flushing,asMrs.Arbuthnotsaidnothing,“thatit
menyampaikan
conveysanythingtoyou.Sometimesit—itdoesn’tseemto
menyampaikan
conveyanythingtomeeither.But”—shelookedroundwithamovementofseekinghelp—“IamMrs.Wilkins.”
Shedidnotlikehername.
Itwasamean,smallname,withakindoffacetioustwist,shethought,aboutitsendliketheupward
kurva
curveofapugdog’stail.Thereitwas,however.
Therewasnodoinganythingwithit.
WilkinsshewasandWilkinsshewouldremain;
andthoughherhusbandencouragedhertogiveitonalloccasionsasMrs.Mellersh-Wilkinssheonlydidthatwhenhewaswithinearshot,forshethoughtMellershmadeWilkinsworse,emphasisingitinthewayChatsworthonthegate-postsofa
villa
villaemphasisesthevilla.WhenfirsthesuggestedsheshouldaddMellershshehadobjectedfortheabovereason,andafterapause—Mellershwasmuchtoo
bijaksana
prudenttospeakexceptafterajeda
pause,duringwhichpresumablyhewastakingacarefulmentalcopyofhiscomingobservation—hesaid,muchdispleased,“ButIamnotavilla,”andlookedatherashelookswhohopes,forperhapsthehundredthtime,thathemaynothavemarriedafool.Ofcoursehewasnota
villa
villa,Mrs.Wilkinsassuredhim;shehadneversupposedhewas;
shehadnotdreamedofmeaning...
shewasonlyjustthinking...
ThemoresheexplainedthemoreearnestbecameMellersh’shope,familiartohimbythistime,forhehadthenbeenahusbandfortwoyears,thathemightnotbyanychancehavemarriedafool;
andtheyhadaprolongedquarrel,ifthatcanbecalledaquarrelwhichisconductedwith
bermartabat
dignifiedsilenceononesideandearnestapologyontheother,astowhetherornoMrs.Wilkinshadbermaksud
intendedtosuggestthatMr.Wilkinswasavilla
villa.“Ibelieve,”shehadthoughtwhenitwasatlastover—ittookalongwhile—“thatanybodywould
bertengkar
quarrelaboutanythingwhenthey’venotleftoffbeingtogetherforasingledayfortwowholeyears.Whatwebothneedisaholiday.”
“Myhusband,”wentonMrs.WilkinstoMrs.Arbuthnot,tryingtothrowsomelightonherself,“isasolicitor.
He—”
ShecastaboutforsomethingshecouldsayelucidatoryofMellersh,andfound:
“He’sveryhandsome.”
“Well,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot
ramah
kindly,“thatmustbeagreatpleasuretoyou.”“Why?”
askedMrs.Wilkins.
“Because,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,alittletakenaback,for
menerus
constantintercoursewiththepoorhadaccustomedhertohaveherpronouncementsacceptedwithoutquestion,“becausebeauty—handsomeness—isagiftlikeanyother,andifitisproperlyused—”.Shetrailedoffintosilence.
Mrs.Wilkins’sgreat
abu
greyeyeswerefixedonher,anditseemedsuddenlytoMrs.Arbuthnotthatperhapsshewasbecomingcrystallisedintoakebiasaan
habitofexposition,andofexpositionafterthecara
mannerofnursemaids,throughhavinganaudiencethatcouldn’tbutagree,thatwouldbeafraid,ifitwished,tomengganggu
interrupt,thatdidn’tknow,thatwas,infact,athermercy.ButMrs.Wilkinswasnotlistening;
forjustthen,
masuk akal
absurdasitseemed,apicturehadflashedacrossherbrain,andthereweretwofiguresinitsittingtogetherunderagreattrailingwistariathatstretchedacrossthebranchesofatreeshedidn’tknow,anditwasherselfandMrs.Arbuthnot—shesawthem—shesawthem.Andbehindthem,brightin
sinar matahari
sunshine,wereoldgreywalls—themediaevalcastle—shesawit—theywerethere...ShethereforestaredatMrs.Arbuthnotanddidnothearawordshesaid.
AndMrs.ArbuthnotstaredtooatMrs.Wilkins,arrestedbythe
ekspresi
expressiononherface,whichwassweptbythekegembiraan
excitementofwhatshesaw,andwasasbercahaya
luminousandtremulousunderitaswaterinsinar matahari
sunlightwhenitisruffledbyagustofwind.Atthismoment,ifshehadbeenataparty,Mrs.Wilkinswouldhavebeenlookedatwithinterest.
Theystaredateachother;
Mrs.Arbuthnotsurprised,inquiringly,Mrs.Wilkinswiththeeyesofsomeonewhohashada
wahyu
revelation.Ofcourse.
Thatwashowitcouldbedone.
Sheherself,shebyherself,couldn’taffordit,andwouldn’tbeable,evenifshecouldaffordit,togothereallalone;
butsheandMrs.Arbuthnottogether...
Sheleanedacrossthetable.
“Whydon’twetryandgetit?”
she
berbisik
whispered.Mrs.
Arbuthnotbecameevenmorewide-eyed.
“Getit?”
sherepeated.
“Yes,”saidMrs.Wilkins,stillasthoughshewereafraidofbeingoverheard.
“NotjustsithereandsayHowwonderful,andthengohometoHampsteadwithouthavingputoutafinger—gohomejustasusualandseeaboutthedinnerandthefishjustaswe’vebeendoingforyearsandyearsandwillgoondoingforyearsandyears.
Infact,”saidMrs.Wilkins,flushingtotherootsofherhair,forthesoundofwhatshewassaying,ofwhatwascomingpouringout,frightenedher,andyetshecouldn’tstop,“Iseenoendtoit.
Thereisnoendtoit.
Sothatthereoughttobeabreak,thereoughttobeintervals—ineverybody’sinterests.
Why,itwouldreallybebeingunselfishtogoawayandbehappyforalittle,becausewewouldcomebacksomuchnicer.
Yousee,afterabiteverybodyneedsaholiday.”
“But—howdoyoumean,getit?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Takeit,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Takeit?”