CHAPTERI
Ifithadnotrainedon
एक
acertainMaymorningValancyStirling’swholeजीवन
lifewouldhavebeenentirelyअलग
different.Shewouldhavegone,
साथ
withtherestofherclan,toAuntWellington’sengagementpicnicऔर
andDr.TrentwouldhavegonetoMontreal.लेकिन
Butitdidrainandyoushallhearwhathappenedtoherकारण
becauseofit.Valancywakenedearly,inthelifeless,hopelesshourjustprecedingdawn.
Shehadnotslept
बहुत
verywell.Onedoesnotsleepwell,sometimes,
जब
whenoneistwenty-nineonthemorrow,और
andunmarried,inacommunityऔर
andconnectionwheretheunmarriedaresimplythoseजो
whohavefailedtogetaआदमी
man.DeerwoodandtheStirlingshad
लंबे समय
longsincerelegatedValancytohopelessपुराने
oldmaidenhood.ButValancyherselfhadneverquiterelinquishedacertainpitiful,shamed,
छोटी सी
littlehopethatRomancewouldcomeherतरह
wayyet—never,untilthiswet,horribleसुबह
morning,whenshewakenedtotheतथ्य
factthatshewastwenty-nineऔर
andunsoughtbyanyman.Ay,
वहाँ
therelaythesting.Valancydidnotmindsomuchbeing
कोई
anoldmaid.Afterall,she
सोचा
thought,beinganoldmaidcouldn’tpossiblybeasdreadfulasbeingशादी
marriedtoanUncleWellingtonया
oranUncleBenjamin,orयहां तक कि
evenanUncleHerbert.What
दुख
hurtherwasthatshehadneverhadaमौका
chancetobeanythingbutanoldmaid.नहीं
Nomanhadeverdesiredher.Thetearscameintohereyesasshelaytherealoneinthefaintlygreyingdarkness.
Shedarednotletherselfcryashardasshewantedto,fortworeasons.
Shewas
डर
afraidthatcryingmightbringonanotherattackofthatpainचारों ओर
aroundtheheart.Shehadhadaspellofitaftershehadgotintobed—ratherworse
से
thananyshehadhadyet.और
Andshewasafraidherमाँ
motherwouldnoticeherredeyesatbreakfastऔर
andkeepatherwithमिनट
minute,persistent,mosquito-likequestionsregardingtheकारण
causethereof.“Suppose,”thoughtValancy
साथ
withaghastlygrin,“Iansweredसाथ
withtheplaintruth,‘Iamcryingक्योंकि
becauseIcannotgetmarried.’कितनी
HowhorrifiedMotherwouldbe—thoughsheisashamedहर
everydayofherlifeofheroldmaiddaughter.”लेकिन
Butofcourseappearancesshouldbekeptup.“Itisnot,”Valancycould
सुन
hearhermother’sprim,dictatorialvoiceasserting,“itisnotmaidenlytoसोचना
thinkaboutmen.”Thethoughtofhermother’sexpressionmadeValancylaugh—forshehadasenseofhumournobodyinherclansuspected.
Forthat
मामले
matter,therewereagoodकई
manythingsaboutValancythatnobodysuspected.लेकिन
Butherlaughterwasverysuperficialऔर
andpresentlyshelaythere,एक
ahuddled,futilelittlefigure,listeningtotherainpouringdownबाहर
outsideandwatching,withaबीमार
sickdistaste,thechill,mercilessरोशनी
lightcreepingintoherugly,sordidकमरे
room.Sheknewtheuglinessof
उस
thatroombyheart—knewitऔर
andhatedit.Theyellow-paintedfloor,withonehideous,“hooked”rugbythe
बिस्तर
bed,withagrotesque,“hooked”dogonit,हमेशा
alwaysgrinningatherwhensheawoke;thefaded,dark-redpaper;
theceilingdiscolouredby
पुराने
oldleaksandcrossedbycracks;thenarrow,pinched
छोटे
littlewashstand;thebrown-paperlambrequinwithpurplerosesonit;
thespottedoldlooking-glass
साथ
withthecrackacrossit,proppedupontheinadequatedressing-table;thejarofancientpotpourrimadebyher
माँ
motherinhermythicalhoneymoon;theshell-coveredbox,
साथ
withoneburstcorner,whichCousinStickleshadmadeinherequallymythicalgirlhood;thebeadedpincushion
साथ
withhalfitsbeadfringegone;the
एक
onestiff,yellowchair;thefaded
पुराने
oldmotto,“Gonebutnotforgotten,”workedincolouredyarnsबारे
aboutGreat-grand-motherStirling’sgrimoldचेहरे
face;theoldphotographsofancientrelatives
लंबे समय
longbanishedfromtheroomsbelow.Therewere
केवल
onlytwopicturesthatwerenotofrelatives.One,anoldchromoofapuppysittingonarainydoorstep.
उस
ThatpicturealwaysmadeValancyunhappy.Thatforlornlittledogcrouchedonthedoorstepinthedrivingrain!
क्यों
Whydidn’tsomeoneopenthedoorऔर
andlethimin?Theotherpicturewas
एक
afaded,passe-partoutedengravingofQueenLouisecomingनीचे
downastairway,whichAuntWellingtonhadlavishlygivenheronhertenthbirthday.Fornineteenyearsshehadlookedatit
और
andhatedit,beautiful,smug,self-satisfiedQueenLouise.लेकिन
Butsheneverdareddestroyitया
orremoveit.MotherandCousinStickleswould
किया
havebeenaghast,or,asValancyirreverentlyexpresseditinherthoughts,wouldकिया
havehadafit.Everyroominthe
घर
housewasugly,ofcourse.लेकिन
Butdownstairsappearanceswerekeptतक
upsomewhat.Therewasnomoneyforroomsnobodyeversaw.
Valancysometimesfelt
कि
thatshecouldhavedoneकुछ
somethingforherroomherself,भी
evenwithoutmoney,ifshewerepermitted.लेकिन
Buthermotherhadnegativedहर
everytimidsuggestionandValancyकर
didnotpersist.Valancyneverpersisted.
Shewasafraid
करने
to.Hermothercouldnotbrookopposition.
Mrs.Stirlingwouldsulkfordays
यदि
ifoffended,withtheairsofएक
aninsultedduchess.Theonly
बात
thingValancylikedaboutherकमरे
roomwasthatshecouldbeअकेले
alonethereatnighttocryअगर
ifshewantedto.But,afterall,whatdidit
फर्क
matterifaroom,whichyouउपयोग
usedfornothingexceptsleepingऔर
anddressingin,wereugly?Valancywasneverpermittedto
रहने
stayaloneinherroomforकिसी
anyotherpurpose.Peoplewhowantedtobe
अकेले
alone,soMrs.FrederickStirlingऔर
andCousinSticklesbelieved,couldकेवल
onlywanttobealoneforsomesinisterpurpose.लेकिन
ButherroomintheBlueCastlewasसब कुछ
everythingaroomshouldbe.Valancy,socowed
और
andsubduedandoverriddenandsnubbedinवास्तविक
reallife,waswonttoजाने
letherselfgorathersplendidlyinherday-dreams.Nobodyin
को
theStirlingclan,oritsramifications,suspectedइस
this,leastofallherमाँ
motherandCousinStickles.Theyneverknew
कि
thatValancyhadtwohomes—theuglyलाल
redbrickboxofaघर
home,onElmStreet,andtheBlueCastleinSpain.ValancyhadlivedspirituallyintheBlueCastleeversinceshecould
याद
remember.Shehadbeena
बहुत
verytinychildwhenshefoundherselfpossessedofit.हमेशा
Always,whensheshuthereyes,shecouldseeitplainly,साथ
withitsturretsandbannersonthepine-cladmountainheight,wrappedinitsfaint,blueloveliness,खिलाफ
againstthesunsetskiesofएक
afairandunknownland.सब कुछ
Everythingwonderfulandbeautifulwasinउस
thatcastle.Jewelsthatqueensmighthaveworn;
robesofmoonlight
और
andfire;couchesofroses
और
andgold;longflightsofshallowmarblesteps,withgreat,
सफेद
whiteurns,andwithslender,mist-cladmaidensgoingऊपर
upanddownthem;courts,marble-pillared,
जहां
whereshimmeringfountainsfellandnightingalessangamongthemyrtles;hallsofmirrors
जो
thatreflectedonlyhandsomeknightsऔर
andlovelywomen—herselftheloveliestofसभी
all,forwhoseglancemendied.सब
Allthatsupportedherthroughtheboredomofherdayswastheउम्मीद
hopeofgoingonadreamspreeatरात
night.Most,ifnotall,oftheStirlingswould
किया
havediedofhorroriftheyhadknownhalfthethingsValancydidinherBlueCastle.Forone
बात
thingshehadquiteaकुछ
fewloversinit.Oh,
केवल
onlyoneatatime.One
जो
whowooedherwithalltheromanticardouroftheageofchivalryऔर
andwonherafterlongdevotionऔर
andmanydeedsofderring-do,और
andwasweddedtoherसाथ
withpompandcircumstanceintheमहान
great,banner-hungchapeloftheBlueCastle.Attwelve,
यह
thisloverwasafairladwithgoldencurlsऔर
andheavenlyblueeyes.Atfifteen,hewastall
और
anddarkandpale,butअभी भी
stillnecessarilyhandsome.Attwenty,hewasascetic,dreamy,spiritual.
Attwenty-five,hehadaclean-cutjaw,slightlygrim,
और
andafacestrongandruggedratherthanhandsome.Valancynevergrewolder
से
thantwenty-fiveinherBlueCastle,लेकिन
butrecently—veryrecently—herherohadhadreddish,tawnyबाल
hair,atwistedsmileandएक
amysteriouspast.Idon’t
कह
sayValancydeliberatelymurderedtheseloversassheoutgrewthem.एक
Onesimplyfadedawayasanothercame.Thingsare
बहुत
veryconvenientinthisrespectinBlueCastles.लेकिन
But,onthismorningofherदिन
dayoffate,Valancycouldnotमिल
findthekeyofherBlueCastle.Realitypressedonher
बहुत
toohardly,barkingatherheelsतरह
likeamaddeninglittledog.Shewastwenty-nine,lonely,undesired,ill-favoured—theonlyhomely
लड़की
girlinahandsomeclan,withnoअतीत
pastandnofuture.Asfarasshecouldlook
पीछे
back,lifewasdrabandcolourless,withnotएक
onesinglecrimsonorpurplespotanywhere.Asfarasshecouldlookforwarditseemedcertaintobejustthe
ही
sameuntilshewasnothingbutएक
asolitary,littlewitheredleafclingingtoएक
awintrybough.Themomentwhen
एक
awomanrealisesthatshehasकुछ
nothingtolivefor—neitherlove,duty,purposenorhope—holdsforherthebitternessofमृत्यु
death.“AndIjusthavetogoonliving
क्योंकि
becauseIcan’tstop.Imayhavetoliveeightyyears,”thoughtValancy,in
एक
akindofpanic.“We’re
सभी
allhorriblylong-lived.Itsickensmetothinkofit.”
Shewasgladitwasraining—orrather,shewasdrearilysatisfied
कि
thatitwasraining.Therewouldbenopicnic
उस
thatday.Thisannualpicnic,wherebyAunt
और
andUncleWellington—onealwaysthoughtoftheminthatsuccession—inevitablycelebratedtheirengagementatएक
apicnicthirtyyearsbefore,hadbeen,oflateyears,एक
averitablenightmaretoValancy.Byanimpishcoincidenceitwasthe
उसी
samedayasherbirthdayऔर
and,aftershehadpassedtwenty-five,nobodyletherforgetयह
it.Muchasshehatedgoingtothepicnic,itwouldneverhaveoccurredtohertorebel
खिलाफ
againstit.Thereseemedtobe
कुछ
nothingoftherevolutionaryinhernature.और
Andsheknewexactlywhatहर
everyonewouldsaytoheratthepicnic.चाचा
UncleWellington,whomshedislikedऔर
anddespisedeventhoughhehadfulfilledthehighestStirlingaspiration,“marryingmoney,”wouldकहेगा
saytoherinapig’swhisper,“Notthinkingofgettingशादी
marriedyet,mydear?”andthen
गया
gooffintothebellowoflaughterसाथ
withwhichheinvariablyconcludedhisdullremarks.AuntWellington,ofwhomValancystoodinabjectawe,would
बताती
tellheraboutOlive’snewchiffondressऔर
andCecil’slastdevotedletter.Valancywouldhavetolookaspleased
और
andinterestedasifthedressऔर
andletterhadbeenhersorelseAuntWellingtonwouldbeoffended.और
AndValancyhadlongagodecidedकि
thatshewouldratheroffendभगवान
GodthanAuntWellington,becauseभगवान
GodmightforgiveherbutAuntWellingtonneverwould.AuntAlberta,enormouslyfat,
साथ
withanamiablehabitofहमेशा
alwaysreferringtoherhusbandas“he,”asifheweretheonlymalecreatureintheदुनिया
world,whocouldneverforgetthatshehadbeenaमहान
greatbeautyinheryouth,wouldcondoleसाथ
withValancyonhersallowskin—.“Idon’t
पता
knowwhyallthegirlsofआज
todayaresosunburned.WhenIwas
एक
agirlmyskinwasrosesऔर
andcream.Iwascountedtheprettiest
लड़की
girlinCanada,mydear.”शायद
PerhapsUncleHerbertwouldn’tsayanything—orशायद
perhapshewouldremarkjocularly,“Howfatyou’regetting,Doss!”और
Andtheneverybodywouldlaughपर
overtheexcessivelyhumorousideaofगरीब
poor,scrawnylittleDossgettingfat.Handsome,solemn
चाचा
UncleJames,whomValancydislikedलेकिन
butrespectedbecausehewasreputedtobeverycleverऔर
andwasthereforetheclanoracle—brainsbeingnonetooplentifulintheStirlingconnection—wouldशायद
probablyremarkwiththeowl-likesarcasmकि
thathadwonhimhisreputation,“Isupposeyou’rebusyसाथ
withyourhope-chestthesedays?”और
AndUncleBenjaminwouldaskकुछ
someofhisabominableconundrums,बीच
betweenwheezychuckles,andanswerthemhimself.“Whatisthedifference
बीच
betweenDossandamouse?“Themousewishestoharmthecheese
और
andDosswishestocharmthehe’s.”Valancyhadheardhim
पूछते
askthatriddlefiftytimesऔर
andeverytimeshewantedtothrowकुछ
somethingathim.Butsheneverdid.
In
को
thefirstplace,theStirlingssimplydidnotthrowthings;in
को
thesecondplace,UncleBenjaminwasएक
awealthyandchildlessoldwidowerऔर
andValancyhadbeenbroughtupinको
thefearandadmonitionofhisधन
money.Ifsheoffendedhimhewouldcuther
बाहर
outofhiswill—supposingshewereinit.Valancy
की
didnotwanttobecutबाहर
outofUncleBenjamin’swill.Shehadbeen
गरीब
poorallherlifeandknewको
thegallingbitternessofit.Sosheenduredhisriddles
और
andevensmiledtorturedlittlesmilesपर
overthem.AuntIsabel,downright
और
anddisagreeableasaneastwind,wouldcriticiseherinsomeway—Valancycouldnotpredictjustकैसे
how,forAuntIsabelneverrepeatedacriticism—shefoundsomethingनया
newwithwhichtojabyouहर
everytime.AuntIsabelpridedherselfonsayingwhatshethought,
लेकिन
butdidn’tlikeitsoअच्छा
wellwhenotherpeoplesaidwhattheythoughttoher.Valancynever
कहा
saidwhatshethought.CousinGeorgiana—named
बाद
afterhergreat-great-grand-mother,whohadbeennamedबाद
afterGeorgetheFourth—wouldrecountdolorouslythenamesofसभी
allrelativesandfriendswhohaddiedsincetheपिछले
lastpicnicandwonder“whichofuswillbethefirsttogonext.”Oppressivelycompetent,AuntMildredwould
बात
talkendlesslyofherhusbandऔर
andherodiousprodigiesofbabiestoValancy,क्योंकि
becauseValancywouldbetheonlyएक
oneshecouldfindtoputupwithइसे
it.Forthesamereason,CousinGladys—reallyFirstCousinGladys
बार
onceremoved,accordingtothestrictwayinजिस
whichtheStirlingstabulatedrelationship—atall,thinमहिला
ladywhoadmittedshehadएक
asensitivedisposition,woulddescribeminutelythetorturesofherneuritis.और
AndOlive,thewondergirloftheपूरे
wholeStirlingclan,whohadसब कुछ
everythingValancyhadnot—beauty,popularity,love,—wouldshowoffherbeautyऔर
andpresumeonherpopularityऔर
andflauntherdiamondinsigniaofloveinValancy’sdazzled,enviouseyes.Therewouldbenoneof
सब
allthistoday.Andtherewouldbe
नहीं
nopackingupofteaspoons.Thepackingupwas
हमेशा
alwaysleftforValancyandCousinStickles.और
Andonce,sixyearsago,एक
asilverteaspoonfromAuntWellington’sweddingसेट
sethadbeenlost.Valancyneverheardthelastof
उस
thatsilverteaspoon.ItsghostappearedBanquo-likeat
हर
everysubsequentfamilyfeast.Oh,yes,Valancyknew
ठीक
exactlywhatthepicnicwouldbelikeऔर
andsheblessedtherainकि
thathadsavedherfromit.Therewouldbenopicnic
इस
thisyear.IfAuntWellingtoncouldnotcelebrateonthesacred
दिन
dayitselfshewouldhavenocelebrationatall.शुक्र
Thankwhatevergodstherewereforthat.चूंकि
Sincetherewouldbenopicnic,Valancymadeuphermindकि
that,iftherainheldupintheafternoon,shewouldgouptothelibraryऔर
andgetanotherofJohnFoster’sbooks.Valancywasneverallowedto
पढ़ने
readnovels,butJohnFoster’sbookswerenotnovels.Theywere“naturebooks”—so
को
thelibrariantoldMrs.FrederickStirling—“allबारे
aboutthewoodsandbirdsऔर
andbugsandthingslikethat,youknow.”SoValancywasallowedto
पढ़ने
readthem—underprotest,foritwasonlytooevidentकि
thatsheenjoyedthemtoomuch.Itwaspermissible,evenlaudable,to
पढ़ने
readtoimproveyourmindऔर
andyourreligion,butaकिताब
bookthatwasenjoyablewasdangerous.Valancydidnot
पता
knowwhetherhermindwasbeingimprovedया
ornot;butshefeltvaguely
कि
thatifshehadcomeacrossJohnFoster’sbooksyearsपहले
agolifemighthavebeenएक
adifferentthingforher.Theyseemedtohertoyieldglimpsesof
एक
aworldintowhichshemightबार
oncehaveentered,thoughtheदरवाजा
doorwasforeverbarredtoherअब
now.Itwasonlywithin
को
thelastyearthatJohnFoster’sbookshadbeeninको
theDeerwoodlibrary,thoughthelibrarianबताया
toldValancythathehadbeenएक
awell-knownwriterforseveralyears.“Wheredoeshelive?”
Valancyhad
पूछा
asked.“Nobodyknows.
FromhisbookshemustbeaCanadian,
लेकिन
butnomoreinformationcanbehad.Hispublisherswon’tsay
एक
aword.QuitelikelyJohnFosteris
एक
anomdeplume.Hisbooksaresopopularwecan’tkeeptheminatall,
हालांकि
thoughIreallycan’tseewhatpeoplefindinthemtoraveover.”“I
लगता
thinkthey’rewonderful,”saidValancy,timidly.“Oh—well—”
मिस
MissClarksonsmiledinapatronisingfashionthatrelegatedValancy’sopinionstolimbo,“Ican’tकह
sayIcaremuchforbugsmyself.लेकिन
ButcertainlyFosterseemstoknowसब
allthereistoknowबारे
aboutthem.”Valancydidn’tknowwhethershecared
बहुत
muchforbugseither.ItwasnotJohnFoster’suncannyknowledgeofwildcreatures
और
andinsectlifethatenthralledउसे
her.Shecouldhardlysaywhatitwas—sometantalisinglureof
एक
amysteryneverrevealed—somehintofएक
agreatsecretjustaछोटे
littlefurtheron—somefaint,elusiveechooflovely,forgottenthings—JohnFoster’smagicwasindefinable.Yes,shewould
मिल
getanewFosterbook.Itwas
एक
amonthsinceshehadThistleHarvest,sosurelyमाँ
Mothercouldnotobject.Valancyhadreadit
चार
fourtimes—sheknewwholepassagesoffbyदिल
heart.And—shealmostthoughtshewouldgo
और
andseeDr.Trentaboutthatqueerpainचारों ओर
aroundtheheart.Ithad
आने
comeratheroftenlately,andthepalpitationswerebecomingannoying,nottoबात
speakofanoccasionaldizzyक्षण
momentandaqueershortnessofbreath.लेकिन
Butcouldshegotoदेखने
seehimwithouttellinganyone?Itwas
एक
amostdaringthought.NoneoftheStirlingseverconsulted
किसी
adoctorwithoutholdingaपारिवारिक
familycouncilandgettingUncleJames’approval.Then,they
गए
wenttoDr.AmbroseMarshofPortLawrence,whohadशादी
marriedSecondCousinAdelaideStirling.लेकिन
ButValancydislikedDr.AmbroseMarsh.और
And,besides,shecouldnotमिल
gettoPortLawrence,fifteenmilesदूर
away,withoutbeingtakenthere.Shedidnotwant
कोई
anyonetoknowaboutherदिल
heart.Therewouldbesuchafussmade
और
andeverymemberoftheपरिवार
familywouldcomedownandबात
talkitoverandadviseherऔर
andcautionherandwarnherऔर
andtellherhorribletalesofgreat-auntsऔर
andcousinsfortytimesremovedwhohadbeen“justlikethat”और
and“droppeddeadwithoutamoment’swarning,mydear.”AuntIsabelwould
याद
rememberthatshehadalwayssaidDosslookedतरह
likeagirlwhowouldहै
havehearttrouble—“sopinchedandpeakedalways”;और
andUncleWellingtonwouldtakeitasएक
apersonalinsult,when“noStirlingeverhadहृदय
heartdiseasebefore”;andGeorgianawouldforebodeinperfectlyaudibleasides
कि
that“poor,dearlittleDossisn’tलंबे समय
longforthisworld,I’mafraid”;और
andCousinGladyswouldsay,“Why,myदिल
hearthasbeenlikethatforyears,”inatonethatimpliednooneelsehadanyव्यवसाय
businesseventohaveaदिल
heart;andOlive—Olivewouldmerelylook
सुंदर
beautifulandsuperioranddisgustinglyhealthy,asiftoकह
say,“Whyallthisfussoverएक
afadedsuperfluitylikeDossजब
whenyouhaveme?”Valancyfelt
कि
thatshecouldn’ttellanybodyunlessshehadको
to.Shefeltquitesuretherewas
कुछ
nothingatallseriouslywrongwithherदिल
heartandnoneedofallthepotherthatwouldensueifshementionedit.Shewould
बस
justslipupquietlyandseeDr.Trentthatveryदिन
day.Asforhisbill,shehadthe
दो
twohundreddollarsthatherपिता
fatherhadputinthebankforhertheदिन
dayshewasborn.Shewasneverallowedto
उपयोग
useeventheinterestofthis,लेकिन
butshewouldsecretlytakeoutपर्याप्त
enoughtopayDr.Trent.Dr.
Trentwas
एक
agruff,outspoken,absent-mindedoldfellow,लेकिन
buthewasarecognisedauthorityonहृदय
heartdisease,evenifhewereonlyएक
ageneralpractitionerinout-of-the-worldDeerwood.Dr.Trentwasoverseventy
और
andtherehadbeenrumoursकि
thathemeanttoretireजल्द ही
soon.NoneoftheStirlingclanhadevergonetohimsincehehadtoldCousinGladys,
दस
tenyearsbefore,thatherneuritiswasallimaginaryऔर
andthatsheenjoyedit.Youcouldn’tpatronise
एक
adoctorwhoinsultedyourfirst-cousin-once-removedतरह
likethat—nottomentionthathewasएक
aPresbyterianwhenalltheStirlingsगए
wenttotheAnglicanchurch.CHAPTERII
जब
WhenCousinSticklesknockedatherdoor,Valancyknewitwashalf-pastsevenऔर
andshemustgetup.Aslongasshecould
याद
remember,CousinStickleshadknockedatherdoorathalf-pastseven.CousinStickles
और
andMrs.FrederickStirlinghadbeenupsinceseven,लेकिन
butValancywasallowedtolieabedhalfanघंटे
hourlongerbecauseofaपरिवार
familytraditionthatshewasdelicate.Valancygotup,
हालांकि
thoughshehatedgettingupअधिक
morethismorningthanevershehadपहले
before.