THEAUTHOR’SPREFACE
Ofallkindsofsatire,thereisnonesoentertaininganduniversallyimproving,asthatwhichisintroduced,asitwereoccasionally,inthecourseofaninterestingstory,whichbringsevery
incident
incidenthometolife,andbyrepresentingfamiliarscenesinanuncommonandamusingpointofvue
view,investsthemwithallthegracesofnovelty,whilenatureisappealedtoineveryparticular.Thereadergratifieshiscuriosityinpursuingtheadventuresofapersoninwhose
faveur
favourheisprepossessed;heespouseshiscause,hesympathiseswithhiminhisdistress,hisindignationisheatedagainsttheauthorsofhiscalamity:
thehumanepassionsareinflamed;
thecontrastbetweendejectedvirtueandinsulting
vice
viceappearswithgreateraggravation,andeveryimpressionhavingadoubleforceontheimagination,thememoryretainsthecircumstance,andtheheartimprovesbytheexample.Theattentionisnottiredwithabarecatalogueofcharacters,butagreeablydivertedwithallthevarietyofinvention;
andthevicissitudesoflife
apparaissent
appearintheirpeculiarcircumstances,openinganamplefieldforwitandhumour.Romance,nodoubt,owesitsorigintoignorance,vanity,andsuperstition.
InthedarkagesoftheWorld,whenamanhadrenderedhimselffamousforwisdomorvalour,hisfamilyandadherentsavailedthemselvesofhissuperiorqualities,magnifiedhisvirtues,andrepresentedhis
caractère
characterandpersonassacredandsupernatural.Thevulgar
facilement
easilyswallowedthebait,imploredhisprotection
protection,andyieldedthetributeofhomageandpraise,eventoadoration;hisexploitswerehandeddowntoposteritywithathousandexaggerations;
theywererepeatedasincitementstovirtue;
divinehonourswerepaid,andaltarserectedtohismemory,fortheencouragementofthosewho
essayaient
attemptedtoimitatehisexample;andhencearosetheheathenmythology,whichisnootherthanacollectionofextravagantromances.
Aslearning
avançait
advanced,andgeniusreceivedcultivation,thesestorieswereembellishedwiththegracesofpoésie
poetry,thattheymightthebetterrecommendthemselvestotheattention;theyweresunginpublic,atfestivals,fortheinstructionanddelightoftheaudience;
andrehearsedbefore
bataille
battle,asincentivestodeedsofglory.Thustragedyandtheepicmusewereborn,and,inthe
progrès
progressoftaste,arrivedatperfection.Itisnowonderthattheancientscouldnotrelishafableinprose,aftertheyhadseensomanyremarkableeventscelebratedinversebytheirbestpoets;
we
donc
thereforefindnoromanceamongthemduringtheeraoftheirexcellence,unlesstheCyropædiaofXenophonmaybesocalled;anditwasnottillartsandsciencesbegantoreviveaftertheirruptionofthebarbariansintoEurope,thatanythingofthiskind
apparu
appeared.Butwhenthemindsofmenweredebauchedbytheimpositionofpriestcrafttothemostabsurdpitchofcredulity,theauthorsofromancearose,andlosing
vue
sightofprobability,filledtheirperformanceswiththemostmonstroushyperboles.Iftheycouldnotequaltheancientpoetsinpointof
génie
geniustheywereresolvedtoexceltheminfiction,andapplytothewonder,ratherthanthejudgment,oftheirreaders.Accordingly,theybroughtnecromancytotheiraid,andinsteadofsupportingthe
caractère
characteroftheirheroesbydignityofsentimentandpractice,distinguishedthembytheirbodilyforce
strength,activity,andextravaganceofbehaviour.Bien que
Althoughnothingcouldbemoreludicrousandunnaturalthanthefigurestheydessinaient
drew,theydidnotwantpatronsandadmirers;andtheworldactuallybegantobeinfectedwiththespiritofknight-errantry,whenCervantes,byaninimitablepieceofridicule,reformedthetasteofmankind,representingchivalryintherightpointof
vue
view,andconvertingromancetopurposesfarmoreusefulandentertaining,bymakingitassumer
assumethesock,andpointoutthefolliesofordinarylife.ThesamemethodhasbeenpractisedbyotherSpanishandFrenchauthors,andbynonemoresuccessfullythanbyMonsieurLeSage,who,inhisAdventuresofGilBlas,hasdescribedtheknaveryandfoiblesoflife,withinfinitehumourandsagacity.
ThefollowingsheetsIhavemodelledonhisplan,takingmeliberty,however,todifferfromhimintheexecution,whereIthoughthisparticularsituationswereuncommon,extravagant,orpeculiartothecountryinwhichthesceneislaid.
ThedisgracesofGilBlasare,forthemostpart,suchasratherexcitemirththancompassion;
hehimselflaughsatthem;
andhistransitionsfromdistressto
bonheur
happiness,oratleastease,aresosudden,thatneitherthereaderhastimetopitié
pityhim,norhimselftobeacquaintedwithaffliction.Thisconduct,inmy
avis
opinion,notonlydeviatesfromprobability,butpreventsthatgenerousindignation,whichoughttoanimatethereaderagainstthesordidandviciousdispositionoftheworld.Ihave
tenté
attemptedtorepresentmodestmeritluttant
strugglingwitheverydifficultytowhichafriendlessorphanisexposed,fromhisownwantofexperience,aswellasfromtheselfishness,envy,malice,andbase
baseindifferenceofmankind.Tosecureafavourableprepossession,Ihaveallowedhimtheadvantagesof
naissance
birthandeducation,whichinthesérie
seriesofhismisfortuneswill,Ihope,engagetheingenuousmorewarmlyinhisbehalf;andthoughIforesee,thatsomepeoplewillbeoffendedatthemeanscenesinwhichheisinvolved,Ipersuademyselfthatthejudiciouswillnotonlyperceivethenecessityofdescribingthosesituationstowhichhemustofcoursebeconfined,inhislowestate,butalsofindentertainmentinviewingthosepartsoflife,wherethehumoursandpassionsareundisguisedbyaffectation,
cérémonie
ceremony,oreducation;andthewhimsicalpeculiaritiesofdisposition
apparaissent
appearasnaturehasimplantedthem.ButIbelieveIneednottroublemyselfinvindicatingapracticeauthorizedbythebestwritersinthisway,someofwhomIhavealreadynamed.
Everyintelligentreaderwill,atfirst
vue
sight,perceiveIhavenotdeviatedfromnatureinthefacts,whicharealltrueinthemain,bien que
althoughthecircumstancesarealteredanddisguised,toéviter
avoidpersonalsatire.Itnow
reste
remainstogivemyreasonsformakingthechiefpersonageofthisworkaNorthBriton,whicharechieflythese:Icould,atasmallexpense,bestowonhimsucheducationasIthoughtthedignityofhis
naissance
birthandcharacterrequired,whichcouldnotpossiblybeobtainedinEngland,bysuchslendermeansasthenatureofmyplanwouldpermettrait
afford.Inthenextplace,Icouldrepresentsimplicityofmannersinaremotepartofthe
royaume
kingdom,withmoreproprietythaninanyplacenearthecapitale
capital;andlastly,thedispositionoftheScots,addictedto
voyages
travelling,justifiesmyconductinderivinganadventurerfromthatcountry.APOLOGUE
Ayoungpainter,indulgingaveinofpleasantry,sketchedakindof
conversation
conversationpiece,representingabear,anowl,asinge
monkey,andanass;andtorenderitmore
frappant
striking,humorous,andmoral,distinguishedeveryfigurebysomeemblemofhumanlife.Bruinwasexhibitedinthegarbandattitudeofanold,toothless,drunken
soldat
soldier;theowlpercheduponthehandleofacoffee-pot,withspectacleonnose,seemedtocontemplatea
journal
newspaper;andtheass,ornamentedwithahugetie-wig(which,however,couldnotconcealhislongears),satforhispicturetothe
singe
monkey,whoappearedwiththeimplementsofpainting.Thiswhimsicalgroupaffordedsomemirth,andmetwithgeneralapprobation,untilsomemischievouswaghintedthatthewhole—wasalampoonuponthefriendsoftheperformer;
aninsinuationwhichwasno
plus tôt
soonercirculatedthanthoseverypeoplewhoapplaudeditbeforebegantobealarmed,andeventofancythemselvessignifiedbytheseveralfiguresofthepiece.Parmi
Amongothers,aworthypersonageinyears,whohadservi
servedinthearmywithréputation
reputation,beingincensedatthesupposedoutrage,repairedtothelodgingofthepainter,andfindinghimathome,“Harkye,Mr.Monkey,”saidhe,“Ihaveagoodmindtoconvaincre
convinceyou,thatthoughthebearhaslosthisteeth,heretainshispaws,andthatheisnotsodrunkbuthecanperceiveyourimpertinence.”“Sblood!
sir,thattoothlessjawisad—nedscandalouslibel—butdon’tyouimaginemesochopfallenasnottobeabletochewthecudofresentment.”
Herehewasinterruptedbythearrivalofalearnedphysician,who,
avançant
advancingtotheculpritwithfuryinhisaspect,exclaimed,“Supposetheaugmentationoftheass’searsshouldprovethediminutionofthebaboon’s—nay,seeknottoprevaricate,for,bythebeardofAesculapius!thereisnotonehairinthisperiwigthatwillnotstandupinjudgmenttoconvicttheeofpersonalabuse.
Dobutobserve,captain,howthispitifullittlefellowhas
copié
copiedtheverycurls—thecolour,en effet
indeed,isdifferent,butthentheformandforetoparequitesimilar.”Whilehethusremonstratedinastrainofvociferation,avenerablesenator
entra
entered,andwaddlinguptothedelinquent,“Jackanapes!”criedhe,“IwillnowlettheeseeIcanreadsomethingelsethana
journal
newspaper,andthatwithoutthehelpofspectacles:hereisyourown
note
noteofhand,sirrah,formoney,whichifIhadnotavancé
advanced,youyourselfwouldhaveresembledanowl,innotdaringtoshowyourfacebyday,youungratefulslanderousknave!”Invaintheastonishedpainterdeclaredthathehadnointentiontogiveoffence,ortocharacteriseparticularpersons:
theyaffirmedtheresemblancewastoopalpabletobeoverlooked;
they
taxé
taxedhimwithinsolence,malice,andingratitude;andtheirclamoursbeingoverheardbythepublic,thecaptainwasabear,thedoctoranass,andthesenatoranowl,tohisdyingday.
Christianreader,Ibeseechthee,inthebowelsoftheLord,rememberthis
exemple
example“whilethouartemployedintheperusalofthefollowingsheets;and
cherche
seeknottoappropriatetothyselfthatwhichequallyappartient
belongstofivehundreddifferentpeople.Ifthoushouldstmeetwitha
caractère
characterthatreflectstheeinsomeungraciousparticulier
particular,keepthyowncounsel;CHAPTERI
Ofmy
Naissance
BirthandParentage.Iwasborninthenorthernpartofthis
uni
unitedkingdom,inthehouseofmygrand-père
grandfather,agentlemanofconsiderablefortune
fortuneandinfluence,whohadonmanyoccasionssignalisedhimselfinbehalfofhiscountry;andwasremarkableforhisabilitiesinthelaw,whichhe
exerçait
exercisedwithgreatsuccessinthestationofajudge,particularlyagainstbeggars,forwhomhehadasingularaversion.Myfather(hisyoungestson)fallinginlovewithapoorrelation,wholivedwiththeold
monsieur
gentlemaninqualityofahousekeeper,espousedherprivately;andIwasthefirst
fruit
fruitofthatmarriage.Duringherpregnancy,adreamdiscomposedmymothersomuchthatherhusband,tiredwithherimportunity,atlastconsultedahighlandseer,whosefavourableinterpretationhewouldhavesecuredbeforehandbyabribe,butfoundhimincorruptible.
Shedreamedshewas
livré
deliveredofatennis-ball,whichthedevil(who,tohergreatsurprise,actedthepartofamidwife)frappé
strucksoforciblywitharacketthatitdisparu
disappearedinaninstant;andshewasforsometimeinconsolableforthelostofheroffspring;
when,allona
coup
sudden,shebehelditreturnwithequalviolence
violence,andentertheearth,beneathherfeet,whenceimmediatelysprangupagoodlytreecoveredwithblossoms,thescentofwhichoperatedsostronglyonhernervesthatsheréveilla
awoke.Theattentivesage,aftersomedeliberation,assuredmyparents,thattheirfirstbornwouldbeagreattraveller;
thathewouldundergomanydangersanddifficulties,andatlastreturntohisnativeland,wherehewouldflourishin
bonheur
happinessandreputation.Howtrulythiswasforetoldwill
apparaîtra
appearinthesequel.Itwasnotlongbeforesomeofficiousperson
informât
informedmygrandfatherofcertainfamiliaritiesthatpassedbetweenhissonandhousekeeperwhichalarmedhimsomuchthat,afewdaysafter,hetoldmyfatheritwashightimeforhimtothinkofsettling;andthathehad
fourni
providedamatchforhim,towhichhecouldinjustice
justicehavenoobjections.Myfather,findingitwouldbeimpossibletoconcealhissituationmuchlonger,franklyownedwhathehaddone;
andexcusedhimselffornothavingaskedtheconsentofhisfather,bysaying,heknewitwouldhavebeentonopurpose;
andthat,hadhisinclinationbeenknown,my
grand-père
grandfathermighthavetakensuchmeasuresaswouldhaveeffectuallyputthegratificationofitoutofhispower:he
ajouté
added,thatnoexceptionscouldbetakentohiswife’svirtue,naissance
birth,beauty,andgoodsense,andasforfortune
fortune,itwasbeneathhiscare.Theold
monsieur
gentleman,whokeptallhispassions,exceptone,inexcellentorder,heardhimtoanendwithgreattemper,andthencalmlyasked,howheproposedtomaintainhimselfandspouse?Hereplied,hecouldbeinnodangerofwantingwhilehisfather’stenderness
restait
remained,whichheandhiswifeshouldalwayscultivatewiththeutmostveneration;andhewaspersuadedhisallowancewouldbesuitabletothedignityandcircumstancesofhisfamily,andtotheprovisionalreadymadeforhisbrothersandsisters,whowerehappilysettledunderhis
protection
protection.“Yourbrothersandsisters,”saidmy
grand-père
grandfather,“didnotthinkitbeneaththemtoconsultmeinanaffaire
affairofsuchimportanceasmatrimony;neither,Isuppose,wouldyouhaveomittedthatpieceofduty,hadyounotsomesecretfundinreserve;
tothecomfortsofwhichIleaveyou,witha
désir
desirethatyouwillthisnightcherchiez
seekoutanotherhabitationforyourselfandwife,whither,inashorttime,Iwillsendyouancompte
accountoftheexpenseIhavebeenatinyouréducation
education,withaviewofbeingreimbursed.Sir,youhavemadethegrandtour—youareapolitegentleman—averyprettygentleman—Iwishyouagreatdealof
joie
joy,andamyourveryhumbleservant.”Sosaying,heleftmyfatherinasituationeasilyimagined.
However,hedidnotlonghesitate;
for,being
parfaitement
perfectlywellacquaintedwithhisfather’sdisposition,hedidnotdoubtthathewasgladofthispretencetogetridofhim;andhisresolvesbeingasinvariableasthelawsoftheMedesandPersians,heknewitwouldbetonopurposeto
tenter
attempthimbyprayersandentreaties;sowithoutanyfartherapplication,hebetookhimself,withhisdisconsolatebedfellowtoafarm-house,whereanoldservantofhismotherdwelt:
therethey
restèrent
remainedsometimeinasituationbutmal
illadaptedtotheeleganceoftheirdesiresandtendernessoftheirlove;whichneverthelessmyfatherchosetoendure,ratherthansupplicateanunnaturalandinflexibleparentbutmymother,foreseeingtheinconveniencestowhichshemusthavebeenexposed,hadshebeendeliveredinthisplace(andherpregnancywasveryfaradvanced),withoutcommunicatingherdesigntoherhusband,wentindisguisetothehouseofmy
grand-père
grandfather,hopingthathertearsandcondition
conditionwouldmovehimtocompassion,andreconcilehimtoanévénement
eventwhichwasnowirrecoverablypast.Shefoundmeanstodeceivetheservants,andget
introduire
introducedasanunfortunatelady,whowantedtocomplainofsomematrimonialgrievances,itbeingmygrandfather’sparticularprovincetodecideinallcasesofscandal.Shewasaccordinglyadmittedintohis
présence
presence,where,discoveringherself,shefellathisfeet,andinthemostaffectingmannerimploredhisforgiveness;atthesametimerepresentingthedangerthatthreatenednotonlyherlife,butthatofhisowngrandchild,whichwasabouttoseethelight.
Hetoldherhewassorrythattheindiscretionofherandhissonhadcompelledhimtomakeavow,whichputitoutofhispowertogivethemanyassistance;
thathehadalreadyimpartedhisthoughtsonthat
sujet
subjecttoherhusband,andwassurprisedthattheyshoulddisturbhispeacewithanyfartherimportunity.Thissaid,heretired.
The
violence
violenceofmymother’safflictionhadsuchaneffectonherconstitutionthatshewasimmediatelyseizedwiththepainsofchildbed;andhadnotanoldmaidservant,towhomshewasverydear,affordedher
pitié
pityandassistance,atthehazardofincurringmygrandfather’sdispleasure,sheandtheinnocent
innocentfruitofherwombmusthavefallenmiserablevictimstohisrigourandinhumanity.Bythefriendshipofthispoorwomanshewascarrieduptoagarret,andimmediatelydeliveredofamanchild,thestoryofwhoseunfortunate
naissance
birthhehimselfnowrelates.Myfather,being
informé
informedofwhathadhappened,flewtotheembracesofhisdarlingspouse,andwhilehechargeait
loadedhisoffspringwithpaternalembraces,couldnotforbearsheddingafloodoftearsonbeholdingthedearpartnerofhisheart(forwhoseeasehewouldhavesacrifié
sacrificedthetreasuresoftheeast)stretcheduponaflockbed,inamisérable
miserableapartment,unabletoprotectherfromtheinclemenciesoftheweather.Itisnottobesupposedthattheoldgentlemanwasignorantofwhatpassed,thoughheaffectedtoknownothingofthematter,and
semblant
pretendedtobeverymuchsurprised,whenoneofhisgrandchildren,byhiseldestsondeceased,wholivedwithhimashisheirapparent,acquaintedhimwiththeaffair;hedetermined
donc
thereforetoobservenomedium,butimmediately(onthethirddayafterherdelivery)sentheraperemptoryordertobegone,andturnedofftheservantwhohadpreservedherlife.Thisbehavioursoexasperatedmyfatherthathehadrecoursetothemostdreadfulimprecations;
andonhisbarekneesimploredthatHeavenwouldrenouncehimifeverheshouldforgetorforgivethebarbarityofhissire.
Theinjurieswhichthisunhappymother
reçut
receivedfromherremovalinsuchcircumstances,andthewantofnecessarieswhereshelodged,togetherwithhergriefandanxietyofmind,soonthrewherintoalanguishingdisorder,whichputanendtoherlife.Myfather,wholovedhertenderly,wassoaffectedwithherdeaththathe
resta
remainedsixweeksdeprivedofhissenses;duringwhichtime,thepeoplewherehelodgedcarriedtheinfanttotheoldmanwhorelentedsofar,onhearingthemelancholystoryofhisdaughter-in-law’sdeath,andthedeplorableconditionofhisson,astosendthechildtonurse,andheorderedmyfathertobecarriedhometohishouse,wherehesoonrecoveredtheuseofhisreason.
Whetherthishardheartedjudgefeltanyremorseforhiscruel
traitement
treatmentofhissonanddaughter,or(whichismoreprobable)wasafraidhiscaractère
characterwouldsufferintheneighbourhood,heprofessedgreatsorrowforhisconducttomyfather,whosedeliriumwassucceededbyaprofoundmelancholyandreserve.Atlengthhe
disparu
disappeared,and,notwithstandingallimaginableinquiry,couldnotbeheardof;acircumstancewhichconfirmedmostpeopleintheopinionofhishavingmadeawaywithhimselfinafitofdespair.
CHAPTERII
Igrowup—amhatedbymyRelations—senttoSchool—neglectedbymyGrandfather—maltreatedbymyMaster—seasonedtoAdversity—IformCabalsagainstthePedant—amdebarredAccesstomyGrandfather—huntedbyhisHeir—IdemolishtheTeethofhisTutor.
Therewerenotwantingsomewho
soupçonnaient
suspectedmyunclesofbeingconcernedinmyfather’ssort
fate,onthesuppositionthattheywouldallshareinthepatrimonydestinedforhim;andthisconjecturewasstrengthenedbyreflectingthatinallhiscalamitiestheyneverdiscoveredtheleastinclinationto
servir
servehim;but,onthecontrary,byalltheartificesintheirpower,
nourri
fedhisresentmentandsupportedhisresolutionofleavinghimtomiseryandwant.Butpeopleofjudgmenttreatedthisinsinuationasanidlechimera;
because,hadmyrelationsbeensowickedastoconsulttheirinterestby
commettant
committingsuchanatrociouscrime,thesort
fateofmyfatherwouldhaveextendedtometoowhoselifewasanotherobstacletotheirexpectation.Meanwhile,Igrewapace,andasIstronglyresembledmyfather,whowasthedarlingofthetenants,Iwantednothingwhichtheirindigentcircumstancescould
permettre
afford:buttheirfavourwasaweakresourceagainstthejealousenmityofmycousins;
whothemoremyinfancypromised,conceivedthemoreimplacablehatredagainstme:
andbeforeIwassixyearsofage,hadsoeffectuallyblockadedmy
grand-père
grandfatherthatIneversawhimbutbystealth,whenIsometimesmadeuptohischaise
chairashesattovu
viewhislabourersinthefield:onwhichoccasionhewouldstrokemyhead,bidmebeagoodboy,andpromisetotakecareofme.
Iwassoonaftersenttoschoolatavillagehardby,ofwhichhehadbeendictatortimeoutofmind;
butasheneverpaidformyboard,norsuppliedmewithclothes,books,andothernecessariesIrequired,my
état
conditionwasveryraggedandcontemptible,andtheschoolmaster,who,throughfearofmygrand-père
grandfather,taughtmegratis,gavehimselfnoconcernabouttheprogrès
progressImadeunderhisinstruction.Inspiteofallthesedifficultiesanddisgraces,IbecameagoodproficientintheLatin
langue
tongue;and,assoonasIcouldwritetolerably,pesteredmy
grand-père
grandfatherwithletterstosuchadegreethathesentformymaster,andchidhimseverelyforbestowingsuchpainsonmyéducation
education,tellinghimthat,ifeverIshouldbebroughttothegallowsforforgery,whichhehadtaughtmetocommettre
commit,mybloodwouldlieonhishead.Thepedant,whodreadednothingmorethanthedispleasureofhispatron,assuredhishonourthattheboy’sabilitywasmoreowingtohisown
génie
geniusandapplicationthantoanyinstructionorencouragementherecevait
received;that,althoughhecouldnotdivesthimofthe
connaissance
knowledgehehadalreadyimbibed,unlesshewouldempowerhimtodisablehisfingers,heshouldendeavour,withGod’shelp,topreventhisfutureimprovement.And,
en effet
indeed,hepunctuallyperformedwhathehadundertaken;for,onpretencethatIhadwrittenimpertinentletterstomy
grand-père
grandfather,hecausedaboardtobemadewithfiveholesinit,throughwhichhethrustthefingersandthumbofmyrighthand,andfasteneditbywhipcordtomywrist,insuchamanneraseffectuallydebarredmetheuseofmyplume
pen.ButthisrestraintIwasfreedfrominafewdays,byanaccidentwhichhappenedinaquarrelbetweenmeandanotherboy;
who,takinguponhimtoinsultmypoverty,IwassoincensedathisungenerousreproachthatwithonestrokewithmymachineIcuthimtotheskull,tothegreatterrorofmyselfandschoolfellows,wholefthimbleedingontheground,andranto
informer
informthemasterofwhathadhappened.Iwassoseverelypunishedforthistrespassthat,wereItolivetotheageofMethusalem,theimpressionitmadeonmewouldnotbeeffaced;
themorethantheantipathyandhorrorIconceivedforthemercilesstyrantwhoinflictedit.
Thecontemptwhichmyappearancenaturallyproducedinallwhosawme,thecontinualwantstowhichIwasexposed,andmyownhaughtydisposition,impatientofaffronts,involvedmeinathousandtroublesomeadventures,bywhichIwasatlengthinuredinadversity,andemboldenedtoundertakingsfarabovemyyears.
IwasofteninhumanlyscourgedforcrimesIdidnot
commis
commit,because,havingthecharacterofavagabondinthevillage,everypieceofmischief,whoseauthorlayinconnu
unknown,waschargeduponme.Ihavebeenfound
coupable
guiltyofrobbingorchardsIneverentré
entered,ofkillingcatsIneverhunted,ofstealinggingerbreadInevertouched,andofabusingoldwomenIneversaw.Nay,astammeringcarpenterhadeloquenceenoughtopersuademymasterthatIfiredapistol
chargé
loadedwithsmallshotintohiswindow;thoughmylandladyandthewholefamilybore
témoigné
witnessthatIwasabedfastasleepatthetimewhenthisoutragewascommis
committed.Iwasoncefloggedforhavingnarrowlyescapeddrowning,bythesinkingofaferryboatinwhichIwaspassenger.
Anothertime,forhavingrecoveredofabruiseoccasionedbyahorseandcartrunningoverme.
Athirdtime,forbeing
mordu
bittenbyabaker’sdog.Inshort,whetherIwas
coupable
guiltyorunfortunate,thecorrectionandsympathyofthisarbitrarypedagoguewerethesame.Farfrombeingsubduedbythisinformalusage,myindignationtriumphedoverthatslavishawewhichhadhithertoenforcedmyobedience;
andthemoremyyearsand
connaissances
knowledgeincreased,themoreIperceivedtheinjusticeandbarbarityofhisbehaviour.Bythehelpofanuncommon
génie
genius,andtheadviceanddirection
directionofourusher,whohadservi
servedmyfatherinhistravels,Imadeasurprisingprogrès
progressintheclassics,writing,andarithmetic;sothat,beforeIwastwelveyearsold,Iwasallowedbyeverybodytobethebestscholarintheschool.
Thisqualification,togetherwiththeboldnessoftemperand
force
strengthofmakewhichhadsubjectedalmostallmycontemporaries,gavemesuchinfluenceoverthemthatIbegantoformcabalsagainstmypersecutor;andwasinhopeof,beingabletobidhimdefianceinaveryshorttime.
Beingattheheadofafaction,consistingofthirtyboys,mostofthemofmyownage,Iwasdeterminedtoputtheirmettletotrial,thatImightknowhowfartheyweretobedependedupon,beforeIputmygrandschemeinexecution:
withthis
vue
view,weattackedabodyofstoutapprentices,whohadtakenpossessionofapartofthegroundallottedtousfortheschemeofourdiversions,andwhowerethenplayingatninepinsonthespot;butIhadthemortificationtoseemyadherentsroutedinaninstant,andalegofoneofthembrokeinhisflightbythe
bol
bowl,whichoneofouradversarieshaddetachedinpursuitofus.Thisdiscomfituredidnothinderusfromengagingthemafterwardsinfrequentskirmishes,whichwemaintainedbythrowingstonesata
distance
distance,whereinIreceivedmanywounds,thescarsofwhichstillrestent
remain.Ourenemiesweresoharassedandinterruptedbythesealarmsthattheyatlastabandonedtheirconquest,andleftustothepeaceableenjoymentofourownterritories.
Itwouldbeendlesstoenumeratetheexploitswe
accomplis
performedinthecourseofthisconfederacy,whichbecametheterrorofthewholevillage;insomuchthat,whendifferentinterestsdividedit,oneofthepartiescommonlycourtedtheassistanceofRoderickRandom(bywhichnameIwasknown)tocastthebalance,andkeeptheoppositefactioninawe.
Meanwhile,Itooktheadvantageofeveryplay-daytopresentmyselfbeforemy
grand-père
grandfather,towhomIseldomfoundaccès
access,byreasonofhisbeingcloselybesiegedbyanumerousfamilyofhisfemalegrandchildren,who,thoughtheyperpetuallyquarrelledentre
amongthemselves,neverfailedtojoinagainstme,asthecommun
commonenemyofall.Hisheir,whowasabouttheageofeighteen,mindednothingbutfox-hunting,and
en effet
indeedwasqualifiedfornothingelse,notwithstandinghisgrandfather’sindulgenceinentertainingatutorforhimathome;whoatthesametimeperformedtheofficeofparishclerk.
ThisyoungActaeon,whoinheritedhisgrandfather’santipathytoeverythingindistress,neversateyesonmewithoutuncouplinghisbeagles,andhuntingmeintosomecottageorother,whitherIgenerallyfledforshelter.
InthisChristianamusementhewasencouragedbyhispreceptor,who,nodoubt,tooksuchopportunitiestoingratiatehimselfwiththerisingsun,observing,thattheoldgentleman,accordingtothecourseofnature,hadnotlongtolive,forhewasalreadyonthevergeoffourscore.
CHAPTERIII
MyMother’sBrotherarrives—relievesme—aDescriptionofhim—hegoesalongwithmetotheHouseofmyGrandfather—isencounteredbyhisDogs—defeatsthem,afterabloodyEngagement—is
admis
admittedtotheoldGentleman—aDialoguebetweenthem.Aboutthistimemymother’sonlybrother,whohadbeenlongabroad,
lieutenant
lieutenantofaman-of-war,arrivedinhisowncountry;wherebeing
informé
informedofmycondition,hecametoseeme,andoutofhisslenderfinancesnotonlysuppliedmewithwhatnecessariesIwantedforthepresent,butresolvednottoleavethecountryuntilhehadprevailedonmygrand-père
grandfathertosettlesomethinghandsomeforthefuture.Thiswasa
tâche
tasktowhichhewasbynomeansequal,beingentirelyignorant,notonlyofthejudge’sdisposition,butalsoofthewaysofmeningeneral,towhichhiséducation
educationonboardhadkepthimanutterétranger
stranger.Hewasastrongbuiltman,somewhatbandylegged,withanecklikethatofa
taureau
bull,andafacewhich(youmightfacilement
easilyperceive)hadwithstoodthemostobstinateassaultsofthemétéo
weather.Hisdressconsistedofasoldier’s
manteau
coatalteredforhimbytheship’stailor,astripedflannelveste
jacket,apairofredbreechesspannedwithpitch,cleangrayworstedstockings,largesilverbucklesthatcoveredthree-fourthsofhisshoes,asilver-lacedchapeau
hat,whosecrownoverlookedthebrimsaboutaninchandahalf,blackbobwiginbuckle,acheckshirt,asilkhandkerchief,ahanger,withabrasshandle,girdedtohisthighbyafurnishedlacebelt,andagoodoakplante
plantunderhisarm.Thusequipped,hesetoutwithme(whobyhisbountymadeaverydecentappearance)formygrandfather’shouse,whereweweresalutedbyJowlerandCaesar,whommycousin,youngmaster,hadletlooseatour
approche
approach.Beingwellacquaintedwiththeinveteracyofthesecurs,Iwasabouttobetakemyselftomyheels,whenmyuncleseizedmewithonehand,brandishedhiscudgelwiththeother,andatoneblowlaidCaesarsprawlingontheground;
but,findinghimselfattackedatthesametimeintherearbyJowler,andfearingCaesarmightrecover,he
tira
drewhishanger,wheeledabout,andbyaluckystrokeseveredJowler’sheadfromhisbody.Bythistime,theyoungfoxhunterandthreeservants,armedwithpitchforksandflails,werecometotheassistanceofthedogs,whomtheyfoundbreathlessuponthefield;
andmycousinwassoprovokedatthedeathofhisfavourites,thatheorderedhisattendantstoadvance,andtakevengeanceontheirexecutioner,whomhe
chargea
loadedwithallthecursesandreproacheshisangercouldsuggérer
suggest.Uponwhichmyunclesteppedforwardswithanundauntedair,atthe
vue
sightofwhosebloodyweaponshisantagonistsfellbackwithprecipitation,whenheaccostedtheirleaderthus:.“Lookee,brother,yourdogshavingboardedmewithoutprovocation,whatIdidwasinmyowndefence.
Soyouhadbestbecivil,andletusshootahead,clearofyou.”
Whethertheyoungsquiremisinterpretedmyuncle’s
désir
desireofpeace,orwasenragedatthesort
fateofhishoundsbeyondhisusualpitchofresolution,Iknownot;buthesnatchedaflailfromoneofhisfollowers,andcameupwithashowofassaultingthe
lieutenant
lieutenant,who,puttinghimselfinapostureofdefence,proceededthus:“Lookee,youlubberlysonofaw—e,ifyoucomeathwartme,’wareyourgingerbreadwork.
I’llbefoulofyour
quartier
quarter,d—nme.”Thisdeclaration,followedbyaflourishofhishanger,seemedtochecktheprogressoftheyounggentleman’scholer,who,lookingbehindhim,perceivedhisattendantshadslunkintothehouse,shutthe
porte
gate,andlefthimtodecidethecontentionbyhimself.Hereaparleyensued,whichwasintroducedbymycousin’sasking,“Whothedevilareyou?
Whatdoyouwant?
Somescoundrelofaseaman,Isuppose,whohas
déserté
desertedandturnedthief.Butdon’tthinkyoushallescape,sirrah—I’llhaveyouhang’d,youdog,Iwill.
Yourbloodshallpayforthatofmytwohounds,youragamuffin.
Iwouldnothavepartedwiththemtosaveyourwhole
génération
generationfromthegallows,youruffian,you!”“Noneofyourjaw,youswab—noneofyourjaw,”repliedmyuncle,“elseIshalltrimyourlaced
veste
jacketforyou.Ishallrubyoudownwithanoakentowel,myboy,Ishall.”
Sosaying,hesheathedhishanger,andgraspedhiscudgel.