THEAUTHOR’SPREFACE
Ofallkindsofsatire,thereisnonesoentertaininganduniversallyimproving,asthatwhichisintroduced,asitwereoccasionally,inthecourseofaninterestingstory,whichbringseveryincidenthometolife,andbyrepresentingfamiliarscenesinanuncommonandamusingpointofview,investsthemwithallthegracesofnovelty,while
nature
natureisappealedtoineveryparticular.Thereadergratifieshiscuriosityinpursuingtheadventuresofapersoninwhosefavourheisprepossessed;
heespouseshiscause,hesympathiseswithhiminhisdistress,hisindignationisheatedagainsttheauthorsofhiscalamity:
thehumanepassionsareinflamed;
thecontrastbetweendejectedvirtueandinsultingviceappearswithgreateraggravation,andeveryimpressionhavinga
double
doubleforceontheimagination,themémoire
memoryretainsthecircumstance,andtheheartimprovesbytheexample.Theattentionisnottiredwithabarecatalogueofcharacters,butagreeablydivertedwithallthevarietyofinvention;
andthevicissitudesoflifeappearintheirpeculiarcircumstances,openinganample
champ
fieldforwitandhumour.Romance,no
doute
doubt,owesitsorigintoignorance,vanity,andsuperstition.InthedarkagesoftheWorld,whenamanhadrenderedhimself
célèbre
famousforwisdomorvalour,hisfamilyandadherentsavailedthemselvesofhissuperiorqualities,magnifiedhisvirtues,andrepresentedhischaracterandpersonassacredandsupernatural.Thevulgareasilyswallowedthebait,imploredhisprotection,andyieldedthetributeofhomageandpraise,eventoadoration;
hisexploitswerehandeddowntoposteritywitha
mille
thousandexaggerations;theywererepeatedasincitementstovirtue;
divinehonourswerepaid,andaltarserectedtohis
mémoire
memory,fortheencouragementofthosewhoattemptedtoimitatehisexample;andhencearosetheheathenmythology,whichisnootherthanacollectionofextravagantromances.
Aslearningadvanced,andgeniusreceivedcultivation,thesestorieswereembellishedwiththegracesofpoetry,thattheymightthebetterrecommendthemselvestotheattention;
theyweresunginpublic,atfestivals,fortheinstructionanddelightoftheaudience;
andrehearsedbeforebattle,asincentivestodeedsofglory.
Thustragedyandtheepicmusewere
nées
born,and,intheprogressofgoût
taste,arrivedatperfection.Itisno
étonnant
wonderthattheancientscouldnotrelishafableinprose,aftertheyhadseensomanyremarkableeventscelebratedinversebytheirbestpoets;wethereforefindnoromanceamongthem
pendant
duringtheeraoftheirexcellence,unlesstheCyropædiaofXenophonmaybesocalled;anditwasnottillartsandsciences
commencé
begantoreviveaftertheirruptionofthebarbariansintoEurope,thatanythingofthiskindappeared.Butwhenthemindsofmenweredebauchedbytheimpositionofpriestcrafttothemostabsurdpitchofcredulity,theauthorsofromancearose,andlosingsightofprobability,filledtheirperformanceswiththemostmonstroushyperboles.
Iftheycouldnotequaltheancientpoetsinpointofgeniustheywereresolvedtoexceltheminfiction,andapplytothewonder,
plutôt
ratherthanthejudgment,oftheirreaders.Accordingly,theybroughtnecromancytotheiraid,andinsteadof
soutenir
supportingthecharacteroftheirheroesbydignityofsentimentandpratique
practice,distinguishedthembytheirbodilystrength,activity,andextravaganceofbehaviour.Althoughnothingcouldbemoreludicrousandunnaturalthanthefigurestheydrew,theydidnotwantpatronsandadmirers;
andtheworldactually
commença
begantobeinfectedwiththespiritofknight-errantry,whenCervantes,byaninimitablepieceofridicule,reformedthegoût
tasteofmankind,representingchivalryintherightpointofview,andconvertingromancetopurposesfarmoreusefulandentertaining,bymakingitassumethesock,andpointoutthefolliesofordinarylife.ThesamemethodhasbeenpractisedbyotherSpanishandFrenchauthors,andby
aucun
nonemoresuccessfullythanbyMonsieurLeSage,who,inhisAdventuresofGilBlas,hasdescribedtheknaveryandfoiblesoflife,withinfinitehumourandsagacity.ThefollowingsheetsIhavemodelledonhisplan,takingmeliberty,
cependant
however,todifferfromhimintheexecution,whereIthoughthisparticularsituationswereuncommon,extravagant,orpeculiartothecountryinwhichthescène
sceneislaid.ThedisgracesofGilBlasare,forthemostpart,suchas
plutôt
ratherexcitemirththancompassion;hehimselflaughsatthem;
andhistransitionsfromdistresstohappiness,oratleastease,aresosudden,thatneitherthereaderhastimetopityhim,norhimselftobeacquaintedwithaffliction.
Thisconduct,inmyopinion,notonlydeviatesfromprobability,butpreventsthatgenerousindignation,whichoughttoanimatethereaderagainstthesordidandviciousdispositionoftheworld.
Ihaveattemptedtorepresentmodestmeritstrugglingwitheverydifficultytowhichafriendlessorphanisexposed,fromhisownwantofexperience,aswellasfromtheselfishness,envy,malice,andbaseindifferenceofmankind.
Tosecureafavourableprepossession,Ihaveallowedhimtheadvantagesofbirthandeducation,whichintheseriesofhismisfortuneswill,Ihope,engagetheingenuousmorewarmlyinhisbehalf;
andthoughIforesee,thatsomepeoplewillbeoffendedatthemeanscenesinwhichheis
impliqué
involved,Ipersuademyselfthatthejudiciouswillnotonlyperceivethenecessityofdescribingthosesituationstowhichhemustofcoursebeconfined,inhislowestate,butalsofindentertainmentinviewingthosepartsoflife,wherethehumoursandpassionsareundisguisedbyaffectation,ceremony,oreducation;andthewhimsicalpeculiaritiesofdispositionappearas
nature
naturehasimplantedthem.ButIbelieveIneednottroublemyselfinvindicatinga
pratique
practiceauthorizedbythebestwritersinthisway,someofwhomIhavealreadynamed.Everyintelligentreaderwill,atfirstsight,perceiveIhavenotdeviatedfrom
nature
natureinthefacts,whicharealltrueinthemain,althoughthecircumstancesarealteredanddisguised,toavoidpersonalsatire.Itnowremainstogivemyreasonsformakingthe
principal
chiefpersonageofthisworkaNord
NorthBriton,whicharechieflythese:Icould,atasmallexpense,bestowonhimsucheducationasIthoughtthedignityofhisbirthandcharacterrequired,whichcouldnotpossiblybeobtainedinEngland,bysuchslendermeansasthenatureofmyplanwouldafford.
Inthenextplace,Icouldrepresentsimplicityofmannersinaremotepartofthekingdom,withmoreproprietythaninanyplace
près de
nearthecapital;andlastly,thedispositionoftheScots,addictedtotravelling,justifiesmyconductinderivinganadventurerfromthatcountry.
APOLOGUE
Ayoungpainter,indulgingaveinofpleasantry,sketchedakindofconversationpiece,representinga
ours
bear,anowl,amonkey,andanass;andtorenderitmorestriking,humorous,andmoral,distinguishedevery
figure
figurebysomeemblemofhumanlife.Bruinwasexhibitedinthegarbandattitudeofanold,toothless,drunkensoldier;
theowlpercheduponthe
poignée
handleofacoffee-pot,withspectacleonnez
nose,seemedtocontemplateanewspaper;andtheass,ornamentedwitha
énorme
hugetie-wig(which,however,couldnotconcealhislongears),satforhispicturetothemonkey,whoappearedwiththeimplementsofpainting.Thiswhimsical
groupe
groupaffordedsomemirth,andmetwithgeneralapprobation,untilsomemischievouswaghintedthatthewhole—wasalampoonuponthefriendsoftheperformer;aninsinuationwhichwasnosoonercirculatedthanthoseverypeoplewhoapplaudeditbefore
commencé
begantobealarmed,andeventofancythemselvessignifiedbytheseveralfiguresofthepiece.Amongothers,aworthypersonageinyears,whohadservedinthearmywithreputation,beingincensedatthesupposedoutrage,repairedtothelodgingofthepainter,andfindinghimathome,“Harkye,Mr.Monkey,”saidhe,“Ihaveagoodmindtoconvinceyou,thatthoughthebearhaslosthisteeth,heretainshispaws,andthatheisnotsodrunkbuthecanperceiveyourimpertinence.”
“Sblood!
sir,thattoothlessjawisad—nedscandalouslibel—butdon’tyou
imaginez
imaginemesochopfallenasnottobeabletochewthecudofresentment.”Herehewasinterruptedbythearrivalofalearnedphysician,who,advancingtotheculpritwithfuryinhisaspect,exclaimed,“Supposetheaugmentationoftheass’searsshould
prouve
provethediminutionofthebaboon’s—nay,seeknottoprevaricate,for,bythebeardofAesculapius!thereisnotonehairinthisperiwigthatwillnotstandupinjudgmenttoconvicttheeofpersonalabuse.
Dobutobserve,captain,howthispitifullittlefellowhascopiedtheverycurls—thecolour,indeed,isdifferent,butthenthe
forme
formandforetoparequitesimilar.”Whilehethusremonstratedinastrainofvociferation,avenerablesenatorentered,andwaddlinguptothedelinquent,“Jackanapes!”
criedhe,“IwillnowlettheeseeIcanreadsomethingelsethananewspaper,andthatwithoutthehelpofspectacles:
hereisyourownnoteofhand,sirrah,formoney,whichifIhadnotadvanced,youyourselfwouldhaveresembledanowl,innotdaringtoshowyourfacebyday,youungratefulslanderousknave!”
Invaintheastonishedpainterdeclaredthathehadnointentiontogiveoffence,ortocharacteriseparticularpersons:
theyaffirmedtheresemblancewastoopalpabletobeoverlooked;
theytaxedhimwithinsolence,malice,andingratitude;
andtheirclamoursbeingoverheardbythe
public
public,thecaptainwasaours
bear,thedoctoranass,andthesenatoranowl,tohisdyingday.Christianreader,Ibeseechthee,inthebowelsoftheLord,rememberthisexample“whilethouartemployedintheperusalofthefollowingsheets;
andseeknottoappropriatetothyselfthatwhichequallybelongstofive
cents
hundreddifferentpeople.Ifthoushouldstmeetwithacharacterthatreflectstheeinsomeungraciousparticular,keepthyowncounsel;
CHAPTERI
OfmyBirthandParentage.
Iwas
né
borninthenorthernpartofthisunitedkingdom,inthehouseofmygrandfather,agentlemanofconsiderablefortuneandinfluence,whohadonmanyoccasionssignalisedhimselfinbehalfofhiscountry;andwasremarkableforhisabilitiesinthelaw,whichheexercisedwithgreatsuccessinthestationofa
juge
judge,particularlyagainstbeggars,forwhomhehadasingularaversion.Myfather(hisyoungestson)fallinginlovewithapoorrelation,wholivedwiththeoldgentlemaninqualityofahousekeeper,espousedherprivately;
andIwasthefirstfruitofthat
mariage
marriage.Duringherpregnancy,adreamdiscomposedmymothersomuchthatherhusband,
fatigué
tiredwithherimportunity,atlastconsultedahighlandseer,whosefavourableinterpretationhewouldhavesecuredbeforehandbyabribe,butfoundhimincorruptible.Shedreamedshewasdeliveredofatennis-ball,whichthedevil(who,tohergreat
surprise
surprise,actedthepartofamidwife)strucksoforciblywitharacketthatitdisappearedinaninstant;andshewasforsometimeinconsolableforthelostofheroffspring;
when,allonasudden,shebehelditreturnwithequalviolence,andentertheearth,beneathher
pieds
feet,whenceimmediatelysprangupagoodlyarbre
treecoveredwithblossoms,thescentofwhichoperatedsostronglyonhernervesthatsheawoke.Theattentivesage,aftersomedeliberation,assuredmyparents,thattheirfirstbornwouldbeagreattraveller;
thathewouldundergomanydangersanddifficulties,andatlastreturntohisnativeland,wherehewouldflourishinhappinessandreputation.
Howtrulythiswasforetoldwillappearinthesequel.
Itwasnotlongbeforesomeofficiouspersoninformedmygrandfatherofcertainfamiliaritiesthat
passaient
passedbetweenhissonandhousekeeperwhichalarmedhimsomuchthat,afewdaysafter,hetoldmyfatheritwashightimeforhimtothinkofsettling;andthathehadprovidedamatchforhim,towhichhecouldinjusticehavenoobjections.
Myfather,findingitwouldbe
impossible
impossibletoconcealhissituationmuchlonger,franklyownedwhathehaddone;andexcusedhimselffornothavingaskedtheconsentofhisfather,bysaying,heknewitwouldhavebeentonopurpose;
andthat,hadhisinclinationbeenknown,mygrandfathermighthavetakensuchmeasuresaswouldhaveeffectuallyputthegratificationofitoutofhispower:
headded,thatnoexceptionscouldbetakentohiswife’svirtue,birth,
beauté
beauty,andgoodsense,andasforfortune,itwasbeneathhiscare.Theoldgentleman,whokeptallhispassions,exceptone,inexcellentorder,heardhimtoanendwithgreattemper,andthencalmlyasked,howheproposedtomaintainhimselfandspouse?
Hereplied,hecouldbeinnodangerofwantingwhilehisfather’stendernessremained,whichheandhiswifeshouldalwayscultivatewiththeutmostveneration;
andhewaspersuadedhisallowancewouldbesuitabletothedignityandcircumstancesofhisfamily,andtotheprovisionalreadymadeforhisbrothersandsisters,whowerehappilysettledunderhisprotection.
“Yourbrothersandsisters,”saidmygrandfather,“didnotthinkitbeneaththemtoconsultmeinanaffairofsuchimportanceasmatrimony;
neither,I
suppose
suppose,wouldyouhaveomittedthatpieceofdevoir
duty,hadyounotsomesecret
secretfundinreserve;tothecomfortsofwhichIleaveyou,withadesirethatyouwillthisnightseekoutanotherhabitationforyourselfandwife,whither,inashorttime,IwillsendyouanaccountoftheexpenseIhavebeenatinyoureducation,withaviewofbeingreimbursed.
Sir,youhavemadethegrandtour—youareapolitegentleman—averyprettygentleman—Iwishyouagreatdealofjoy,andamyourveryhumbleservant.”
Sosaying,heleftmyfatherina
situation
situationeasilyimagined.However,hedidnotlonghesitate;
for,beingperfectlywellacquaintedwithhisfather’sdisposition,hedidnot
doutait
doubtthathewasgladofthispretencetogetridofhim;andhisresolvesbeingasinvariableasthelawsoftheMedesandPersians,heknewitwouldbetonopurposetoattempthimbyprayersandentreaties;
sowithoutanyfartherapplication,hebetookhimself,withhisdisconsolatebedfellowtoafarm-house,whereanoldservantofhismotherdwelt:
theretheyremainedsometimeina
situation
situationbutilladaptedtotheeleganceoftheirdesiresandtendernessoftheirlove;whichneverthelessmyfatherchosetoendure,ratherthansupplicateanunnaturalandinflexibleparentbutmymother,foreseeingtheinconveniencestowhichshemusthavebeenexposed,hadshebeendeliveredinthisplace(andherpregnancywasveryfaradvanced),withoutcommunicatingherdesigntoherhusband,wentindisguisetothehouseofmygrandfather,hopingthathertearsandconditionwouldmovehimtocompassion,andreconcilehimtoaneventwhichwasnowirrecoverablypast.
Shefoundmeanstodeceivetheservants,andgetintroducedasanunfortunatelady,whowantedtocomplainofsomematrimonialgrievances,itbeingmygrandfather’sparticularprovinceto
décider
decideinallcasesofscandal.Shewasaccordinglyadmittedintohispresence,where,discoveringherself,shefellathis
pieds
feet,andinthemostaffectingmannerimploredhisforgiveness;atthesametimerepresentingthedangerthatthreatenednotonlyherlife,butthatofhisowngrandchild,whichwasabouttoseethelight.
Hetoldherhewassorrythattheindiscretionofherandhissonhadcompelledhimtomakeavow,whichputitoutofhispowertogivethemanyassistance;
thathehadalreadyimpartedhisthoughtsonthatsubjecttoherhusband,andwas
surpris
surprisedthattheyshoulddisturbhispaix
peacewithanyfartherimportunity.Thissaid,heretired.
Theviolenceofmymother’safflictionhadsuchaneffectonherconstitutionthatshewas
immédiatement
immediatelyseizedwiththepainsofchildbed;andhadnotanoldmaidservant,towhomshewasverydear,affordedherpityandassistance,atthehazardofincurringmygrandfather’sdispleasure,sheandtheinnocentfruitofherwombmusthavefallenmiserablevictimstohisrigourandinhumanity.
Bythefriendshipofthispoorwomanshewascarrieduptoagarret,andimmediatelydeliveredofamanchild,thestoryofwhoseunfortunatebirthhehimselfnowrelates.
Myfather,beinginformedofwhathadhappened,flewtotheembracesofhisdarlingspouse,andwhileheloadedhisoffspringwithpaternalembraces,couldnotforbearsheddingafloodoftearsonbeholdingthedearpartnerofhisheart(forwhoseeasehewouldhavesacrificedthetreasuresoftheeast)stretcheduponaflockbed,inamiserable
appartement
apartment,unabletoprotectherfromtheinclemenciesoftheweather.Itisnottobe
supposer
supposedthattheoldgentlemanwasignorantofwhatpassé
passed,thoughheaffectedtoknownothingofthematter,andpretendedtobeverymuchsurpris
surprised,whenoneofhisgrandchildren,byhiseldestsondeceased,wholivedwithhimashisheirapparent,acquaintedhimwiththeaffair;hedeterminedthereforetoobservenomedium,butimmediately(onthe
troisième
thirddayafterherdelivery)sentheraperemptoryordertobegone,andturnedofftheservantwhohadpreservedherlife.Thisbehavioursoexasperatedmyfatherthathehadrecoursetothemostdreadfulimprecations;
andonhisbarekneesimploredthat
Ciel
Heavenwouldrenouncehimifeverheshouldforgetorpardonnait
forgivethebarbarityofhissire.Theinjurieswhichthisunhappymotherreceivedfromherremovalinsuchcircumstances,andthewantofnecessarieswhereshelodged,togetherwithhergriefandanxietyofmind,soon
jetèrent
threwherintoalanguishingdisorder,whichputanendtoherlife.Myfather,wholovedhertenderly,wassoaffectedwithherdeaththatheremainedsixweeksdeprivedofhissenses;
pendant
duringwhichtime,thepeoplewherehelodgedportèrent
carriedtheinfanttotheoldmanwhorelentedsofar,onhearingthemelancholystoryofhisdaughter-in-law’sdeath,andthedeplorableconditionofhisson,astosendthechildtonurse,andheorderedmyfathertobeportèrent
carriedhometohishouse,wherehesoonrecoveredtheuseofhisreason.Whetherthishardhearted
juge
judgefeltanyremorseforhiscrueltreatmentofhissonanddaughter,or(whichismoreprobable)wasafraidhischaracterwouldsufferintheneighbourhood,heprofessedgreatsorrowforhisconducttomyfather,whosedeliriumwassucceededbyaprofoundmelancholyandreserve.Atlengthhedisappeared,and,notwithstandingallimaginableinquiry,couldnotbeheardof;
acircumstancewhichconfirmedmostpeopleintheopinionofhishavingmadeawaywithhimselfinafitofdespair.
CHAPTERII
I
grandi
growup—amhatedbymyRelations—senttoSchool—neglectedbymyGrandfather—maltreatedbymyMaster—seasonedtoAdversity—Iformé
formCabalsagainstthePedant—amdebarredAccesstomyGrandfather—huntedbyhisHeir—IdemolishtheTeethofhisTutor.Therewerenotwantingsomewhosuspectedmyunclesofbeingconcernedinmyfather’sfate,onthesuppositionthattheywouldall
partageraient
shareinthepatrimonydestinedforhim;andthisconjecturewasstrengthenedbyreflectingthatinallhiscalamitiestheyneverdiscoveredtheleastinclinationtoservehim;
but,onthecontrary,byalltheartificesintheirpower,fedhisresentmentand
soutenu
supportedhisresolutionofleavinghimtomiseryandwant.Butpeopleofjudgment
traité
treatedthisinsinuationasanidlechimera;because,hadmyrelationsbeensowickedastoconsulttheirinterestbycommittingsuchanatrocious
crime
crime,thefateofmyfatherwouldhaveextendedtometoowhoselifewasanotherobstacletotheirexpectation.Meanwhile,I
grandissais
grewapace,andasIstronglyresembledmyfather,whowasthechéri
darlingofthetenants,Iwantednothingwhichtheirindigentcircumstancescouldafford:buttheirfavourwasaweakresourceagainstthejealousenmityofmycousins;
whothemoremyinfancypromised,conceivedthemoreimplacablehatredagainstme:
andbeforeIwassixyearsof
ans
age,hadsoeffectuallyblockadedmygrandfatherthatIneversawhimbutbystealth,whenIsometimesmadeuptohischairashesattoviewhislabourersinthechamp
field:onwhichoccasionhewouldstrokemyhead,bidmebeagoodboy,andpromisetotakecareofme.
Iwassoonaftersenttoschoolata
village
villagehardby,ofwhichhehadbeendictatortimeoutofmind;butasheneverpaidformyboard,
ni
norsuppliedmewithclothes,books,andothernecessariesIrequired,myconditionwasveryraggedandcontemptible,andtheschoolmaster,who,throughpeur
fearofmygrandfather,taughtmegratis,gavehimselfnoconcernabouttheprogressImadeunderhisinstruction.Inspiteofallthesedifficultiesanddisgraces,IbecameagoodproficientintheLatintongue;
and,assoonasIcouldwritetolerably,pesteredmygrandfatherwithletterstosuchadegreethathesentformymaster,andchidhimseverelyforbestowingsuchpainsonmyeducation,tellinghimthat,ifeverIshouldbebroughttothegallowsforforgery,whichhehad
appris
taughtmetocommit,mybloodwouldlieonhishead.Thepedant,whodreadednothingmorethanthedispleasureofhispatron,assuredhishonourthattheboy’sabilitywasmoreowingtohisowngeniusandapplicationthantoanyinstructionorencouragementhereceived;
that,althoughhecouldnotdivesthimoftheknowledgehehadalreadyimbibed,unlesshewouldempowerhimtodisablehisfingers,heshouldendeavour,withGod’shelp,topreventhisfutureimprovement.
And,indeed,hepunctuallyperformedwhathehadundertaken;
for,onpretencethatIhadwrittenimpertinentletterstomygrandfather,hecauseda
planche
boardtobemadewithfiveholesinit,throughwhichhethrustthefingersandthumbofmyrighthand,andfasteneditbywhipcordtomywrist,insuchamanneraseffectuallydebarredmetheuseofmypen.ButthisrestraintIwasfreedfrominafewdays,byan
accident
accidentwhichhappenedinaquarrelbetweenmeandanotherboy;who,takinguponhimtoinsultmypoverty,Iwassoincensedathisungenerousreproachthatwithonestrokewithmy
machine
machineIcuthimtotheskull,tothegreatterrorofmyselfandschoolfellows,wholefthimbleedingonthesol
ground,andrantoinformthemasterofwhathadhappened.Iwassoseverelypunishedforthistrespassthat,wereItolivetotheageofMethusalem,theimpressionitmadeonmewouldnotbeeffaced;
themorethantheantipathyandhorrorIconceivedforthemercilesstyrantwhoinflictedit.
Thecontemptwhichmyappearancenaturallyproducedinallwhosawme,thecontinualwantstowhichIwasexposed,andmyownhaughtydisposition,impatientofaffronts,involvedmeina
mille
thousandtroublesomeadventures,bywhichIwasatlengthinuredinadversity,andemboldenedtoundertakingsfarabovemyyears.Iwas
souvent
ofteninhumanlyscourgedforcrimesIdidnotcommit,because,havingthecharacterofavagabondinthevillage
village,everypieceofmischief,whoseauthorlayunknown,waschargeduponme.IhavebeenfoundguiltyofrobbingorchardsIneverentered,ofkillingcatsIneverhunted,of
voler
stealinggingerbreadInevertouched,andofabusingoldwomenIneversaw.Nay,astammeringcarpenterhadeloquenceenoughtopersuademymasterthatIfiredapistolloadedwithsmallshotintohis
fenêtre
window;thoughmylandladyandthewholefamilyborewitnessthatIwasabedfast
endormi
asleepatthetimewhenthisoutragewascommitted.Iwasoncefloggedforhavingnarrowly
échappé
escapeddrowning,bythesinkingofaferryboatinwhichIwaspassenger.Anothertime,forhavingrecoveredofabruiseoccasionedbya
cheval
horseandcartrunningoverme.A
troisième
thirdtime,forbeingbittenbyabaker’sdog.In
bref
short,whetherIwasguiltyorunfortunate,thecorrectionandsympathyofthisarbitrarypedagoguewerethesame.Farfrombeingsubduedbythisinformalusage,myindignationtriumphedoverthatslavishawewhichhadhithertoenforcedmyobedience;
andthemoremyyearsandknowledgeincreased,themoreIperceivedtheinjusticeandbarbarityofhisbehaviour.
Bythehelpofanuncommongenius,andtheadviceanddirectionofourusher,whohadservedmyfatherinhistravels,Imadeasurprisingprogressintheclassics,writing,andarithmetic;
sothat,beforeIwastwelveyearsold,Iwas
permis
allowedbyeverybodytobethebestscholarintheschool.Thisqualification,togetherwiththeboldnessoftemperandstrengthofmakewhichhadsubjectedalmostallmycontemporaries,gavemesuchinfluenceoverthemthatI
commencé
begantoformcabalsagainstmypersecutor;andwasinhopeof,beingabletobidhimdefianceinaveryshorttime.
Beingattheheadofafaction,consistingofthirtyboys,mostofthemofmyown
âge
age,Iwasdeterminedtoputtheirmettletotrial,thatImightknowhowfartheyweretobedependedupon,beforeIputmygrandschemeinexecution:withthisview,we
attaqué
attackedabodyofstoutapprentices,whohadtakenpossessionofapartofthegroundallottedtousfortheschemeofourdiversions,andwhowerethenplayingatninepinsontheplace
spot;butIhadthemortificationtoseemyadherentsroutedinaninstant,anda
jambe
legofoneofthembrokeinhisfuite
flightbythebowl,whichoneofouradversarieshaddetachedinpursuitofus.Thisdiscomfituredidnothinderusfromengagingthemafterwardsinfrequentskirmishes,whichwemaintainedby
jetant
throwingstonesatadistance,whereinIreceivedmanywounds,thescarsofwhichstillremain.Ourenemiesweresoharassedandinterruptedbythesealarmsthattheyatlastabandonedtheirconquest,andleftustothepeaceableenjoymentofourownterritories.
Itwouldbeendlesstoenumeratetheexploitsweperformedinthecourseofthisconfederacy,whichbecametheterrorofthewhole
village
village;insomuchthat,whendifferentinterestsdividedit,oneofthepartiescommonlycourtedtheassistanceofRoderickRandom(bywhichnameIwasknown)tocastthebalance,andkeeptheoppositefactioninawe.
Meanwhile,Itooktheadvantageofeveryplay-dayto
présenter
presentmyselfbeforemygrandfather,towhomIseldomfoundaccess,byreasonofhisbeingcloselybesiegedbyanumerousfamilyofhisfemalegrandchildren,who,thoughtheyperpetuallyquarrelledamongthemselves,neverfailedtojoinagainstme,asthecommonenemyofall.Hisheir,whowasaboutthe
ans
ageofeighteen,mindednothingbutfox-hunting,andindeedwasqualifiedfornothingelse,notwithstandinghisgrandfather’sindulgenceinentertainingatutorforhimathome;whoatthesametimeperformedtheofficeofparishclerk.
ThisyoungActaeon,whoinheritedhisgrandfather’santipathytoeverythingindistress,neversateyesonmewithoutuncouplinghisbeagles,andhuntingmeintosomecottageorother,whitherIgenerallyfledforshelter.
InthisChristianamusementhewasencouragedbyhispreceptor,who,no
doute
doubt,tooksuchopportunitiestoingratiatehimselfwiththerisingsoleil
sun,observing,thattheoldgentleman,selon
accordingtothecourseofnature
nature,hadnotlongtolive,forhewasalreadyonthevergeoffourscore.CHAPTERIII
MyMother’sBrotherarrives—relievesme—aDescriptionofhim—hegoesalongwithmetotheHouseofmyGrandfather—isencounteredbyhisDogs—defeatsthem,aftera
sanglant
bloodyEngagement—isadmittedtotheoldGentleman—aDialoguebetweenthem.Aboutthistimemymother’sonlybrother,whohadbeenlongabroad,lieutenantofaman-of-war,arrivedinhisowncountry;
wherebeinginformedofmycondition,hecametoseeme,andoutofhisslenderfinancesnotonlysuppliedmewithwhatnecessariesIwantedforthepresent,butresolvednottoleavethecountryuntilhehadprevailedonmygrandfathertosettlesomethinghandsomeforthefuture.
Thiswasatasktowhichhewasbynomeansequal,beingentirelyignorant,notonlyofthejudge’sdisposition,butalsoofthewaysofmenin
général
general,towhichhiseducationonbord
boardhadkepthimanutterstranger.Hewasastrong
bâti
builtman,somewhatbandylegged,withacou
necklikethatofabull,andafacewhich(youmighteasilyperceive)hadwithstoodthemostobstinateassaultsoftheweather.His
robe
dressconsistedofasoldier’scoatalteredforhimbytheship’stailor,astripedflanneljacket,apairofredbreechesspannedwithpitch,cleangrayworstedstockings,largesilverbucklesthatcouvraient
coveredthree-fourthsofhisshoes,asilver-lacedhat,whosecrownoverlookedthebrimsaboutaninchandahalf,blackbobwiginbuckle,acheckchemise
shirt,asilkhandkerchief,ahanger,withabrasspoignée
handle,girdedtohisthighbyafurnishedlacebelt,andagoodoakplantunderhisbras
arm.Thusequipped,hesetoutwithme(whobyhisbountymadeaverydecentappearance)formygrandfather’shouse,whereweweresalutedbyJowlerandCaesar,whommy
cousin
cousin,youngmaster,hadletlooseatourapproach.Beingwellacquaintedwiththeinveteracyofthesecurs,Iwasabouttobetakemyselftomyheels,whenmyuncleseizedmewithonehand,brandishedhiscudgelwiththeother,andatone
coup
blowlaidCaesarsprawlingonthesol
ground;but,findinghimselfattackedatthesametimeintherearbyJowler,and
craignant
fearingCaesarmightrecover,hedrewhishanger,wheeledabout,andbyaluckystrokeseveredJowler’sheadfromhisbody.Bythistime,theyoungfoxhunterandthreeservants,armedwithpitchforksandflails,werecometotheassistanceofthedogs,whomtheyfoundbreathlessuponthe
champ
field;andmycousinwassoprovokedatthedeathofhisfavourites,thatheorderedhisattendantstoadvance,andtakevengeanceontheirexecutioner,whomheloadedwithallthecursesandreproacheshisangercouldsuggest.
Uponwhichmyunclesteppedforwardswithanundauntedair,atthesightofwhosebloodyweaponshisantagonistsfellbackwithprecipitation,whenheaccostedtheirleaderthus:.
“Lookee,brother,yourdogshavingboardedmewithoutprovocation,whatIdidwasinmyowndefence.
Soyouhadbestbecivil,andletusshootahead,clearofyou.”
Whethertheyoungsquiremisinterpretedmyuncle’sdesireof
paix
peace,orwasenragedatthefateofhishoundsbeyondhisusualpitchofresolution,Iknownot;buthesnatchedaflailfromoneofhisfollowers,andcameupwithashowofassaultingthelieutenant,who,puttinghimselfinapostureofdefence,proceededthus:
“Lookee,youlubberlysonofaw—e,ifyoucomeathwartme,’wareyourgingerbreadwork.
I’llbefoulofyourquarter,d—nme.”
Thisdeclaration,followedbyaflourishofhishanger,
semblait
seemedtochecktheprogressoftheyounggentleman’scholer,who,lookingbehindhim,perceivedhisattendantshadslunkintothehouse,shutthegate,andlefthimtodécider
decidethecontentionbyhimself.Hereaparleyensued,whichwasintroducedbymycousin’sasking,“Whothedevilareyou?
Whatdoyouwant?
Somescoundrelofaseaman,I
suppose
suppose,whohasdesertedandturnedthief.Butdon’tthinkyoushall
échapper
escape,sirrah—I’llhaveyouhang’d,youdog,Iwill.Yourbloodshallpayforthatofmytwohounds,youragamuffin.
Iwouldnothavepartedwiththemtosaveyourwholegenerationfromthegallows,youruffian,you!”
“Noneofyourjaw,youswab—noneofyourjaw,”repliedmyuncle,“elseIshalltrimyourlacedjacketforyou.
Ishallrubyoudownwithanoakentowel,myboy,Ishall.”
Sosaying,hesheathedhishanger,andgraspedhiscudgel.