CHAPTERI
Ifithadnotrainedon
un
acertainMaymorningValancyStirling’stout
wholelifewouldhavebeenentirelydifferent.Shewouldhavegone,
avec
withtherestofherclan,toAuntWellington’sengagementpicnicet
andDr.TrentwouldhavegonetoMontreal.Mais
Butitdidrainandyoushallentendrez
hearwhathappenedtohercause
becauseofit.Valancywakenedearly,inthelifeless,hopelesshour
juste
justprecedingdawn.Shehadnot
dormi
sleptverywell.Onedoesnot
dort
sleepwell,sometimes,whenoneistwenty-nineonthemorrow,et
andunmarried,inacommunityet
andconnectionwheretheunmarriedaresimplyceux
thosewhohavefailedtogetahomme
man.DeerwoodandtheStirlingshad
longtemps
longsincerelegatedValancytohopelessoldmaidenhood.Mais
ButValancyherselfhadnevertout à fait
quiterelinquishedacertainpitiful,shamed,peu
littlehopethatRomancewouldviendrait
comeherwayyet—never,untilce
thiswet,horriblemorning,whenshewakenedtole
thefactthatshewastwenty-nineet
andunsoughtbyanyman.Ay,therelay
le
thesting.Valancydidnotmindsomuchbeing
une
anoldmaid.Afterall,she
pensait
thought,beinganoldmaidcouldn’tpossiblybeasdreadfulasbeingmariée
marriedtoanUncleWellingtonou
oranUncleBenjamin,ormême
evenanUncleHerbert.What
blessait
hurtherwasthatsheeu
hadneverhadachancetobeanythingbutanoldmaid.Aucun
Nomanhadeverdesiredher.Les
Thetearscameintohereyesasshelaytherealoneinles
thefaintlygreyingdarkness.Shedarednot
laisser
letherselfcryashardasshevoulait
wantedto,fortworeasons.Shewas
peur
afraidthatcryingmightbringonautre
anotherattackofthatpainautour
aroundtheheart.Shehad
eu
hadaspellofitaprès
aftershehadgotintobed—ratherworseque
thananyshehadhadyet.Et
Andshewasafraidhermère
motherwouldnoticeherredeyesatbreakfastet
andkeepatherwithminute,persistent,mosquito-likequestionsregardingla
thecausethereof.“Suppose,”thoughtValancy
avec
withaghastlygrin,“Irépondu
answeredwiththeplaintruth,‘Iamcryingparce que
becauseIcannotgetmarried.’HowhorrifiedMotherwouldbe—thoughsheisashamedchaque
everydayofherlifeofheroldmaiddaughter.”Mais
Butofcourseappearancesshouldbekeptup.“Itisnot,”Valancy
pouvait
couldhearhermother’sprim,dictatorialvoiceasserting,“itisnotmaidenlytopenser
thinkaboutmen.”Thethoughtofhermother’sexpression
faisait
madeValancylaugh—forshehadun
asenseofhumournobodyinherclansuspected.For
que
thatmatter,therewereagoodbeaucoup
manythingsaboutValancythatnobodysuspected.Mais
Butherlaughterwasverysuperficialet
andpresentlyshelaythere,ahuddled,futilelittlefigure,listeningtola
therainpouringdownoutsideet
andwatching,withasickdistaste,la
thechill,mercilesslightcreepingintoherugly,sordidroom.She
connaissait
knewtheuglinessofthatroombyheart—knewitet
andhatedit.Theyellow-paintedfloor,
avec
withonehideous,“hooked”rugbyle
thebed,withagrotesque,“hooked”chien
dogonit,alwaysgrinningatherquand
whensheawoke;thefaded,dark-redpaper;
le
theceilingdiscolouredbyoldleakset
andcrossedbycracks;thenarrow,pinched
petit
littlewashstand;thebrown-paperlambrequin
avec
withpurplerosesonit;thespotted
vieux
oldlooking-glasswiththecrackacrossit,proppedupontheinadequatedressing-table;le
thejarofancientpotpourrifait
madebyhermotherinhermythicalhoneymoon;la
theshell-coveredbox,withoneburstcorner,whichCousinStickleshadmadeinherequallymythicalgirlhood;thebeadedpincushionwith
moitié
halfitsbeadfringegone;la
theonestiff,yellowchair;thefaded
vieux
oldmotto,“Gonebutnotforgotten,”workedincolouredyarnssur
aboutGreat-grand-motherStirling’sgrimoldvisage
face;theoldphotographsofancientrelatives
longtemps
longbanishedfromtheroomsbelow.Il
Therewereonlytwopicturesthatwerenotofrelatives.One,an
vieux
oldchromoofapuppyassis
sittingonarainydoorstep.Thatpicture
toujours
alwaysmadeValancyunhappy.Thatforlorn
petit
littledogcrouchedonthedoorstepinthedrivingrain!Pourquoi
Whydidn’tsomeoneopenla
thedoorandlethimin?La
Theotherpicturewasafaded,passe-partoutedengravingofQueenLouisecomingdownastairway,whichAuntWellingtonhadlavishlygivenheronhertenthbirthday.Fornineteenyearsshehadlookedatit
et
andhatedit,beautiful,smug,self-satisfiedQueenLouise.Mais
Butsheneverdareddestroyitou
orremoveit.MotherandCousinStickles
été
wouldhavebeenaghast,or,asValancyirreverentlyexpresseditinherthoughts,été
wouldhavehadafit.Everyroominthe
maison
housewasugly,ofcourse.Mais
Butdownstairsappearanceswerekeptupsomewhat.Il
Therewasnomoneyforroomsnobodyeversaw.Valancy
parfois
sometimesfeltthatshecouldhavefaire
donesomethingforherroomherself,même
evenwithoutmoney,ifshewerepermitted.Mais
Buthermotherhadnegativedchaque
everytimidsuggestionandValancydidnotpersist.Valancy
jamais
neverpersisted.Shewasafraid
de
to.Hermothercouldnotbrookopposition.
Mrs.Stirlingwouldsulkfordays
si
ifoffended,withtheairsofaninsultedduchess.The
seule
onlythingValancylikedaboutherroomwasque
thatshecouldbealoney
thereatnighttocrysi
ifshewantedto.But,
après
afterall,whatdiditmattersi
ifaroom,whichyouusedfornothingexceptdormir
sleepinganddressingin,wereugly?Valancywas
jamais
neverpermittedtostayaloneinherroomforanyotherpurpose.Gens
Peoplewhowantedtobealone,soMrs.FrederickStirlinget
andCousinSticklesbelieved,couldonlywanttobealoneforsomesinisterpurpose.Mais
ButherroomintheBlueCastlewastout
everythingaroomshouldbe.Valancy,socowed
et
andsubduedandoverriddenandsnubbedinrealvie
life,waswonttoletherselfaller
gorathersplendidlyinherday-dreams.Nobodyin
le
theStirlingclan,oritsramifications,suspectedthis,leastofallhermère
motherandCousinStickles.They
jamais
neverknewthatValancyhaddeux
twohomes—theuglyredbrickboxofamaison
home,onElmStreet,andtheBlueCastleinSpain.Valancyhad
vécu
livedspirituallyintheBlueCastleeverdepuis
sinceshecouldremember.Shehadbeen
une
averytinychildwhenshefoundherselfpossessedofit.Toujours
Always,whensheshuthereyes,shepouvait
couldseeitplainly,withitsturretset
andbannersonthepine-cladmountainheight,wrappedinitsfaint,blueloveliness,contre
againstthesunsetskiesofafairet
andunknownland.Everythingwonderful
et
andbeautifulwasinthatcastle.Jewels
que
thatqueensmighthaveworn;robesofmoonlight
et
andfire;couchesofroses
et
andgold;longflightsofshallowmarblesteps,
avec
withgreat,whiteurns,andavec
withslender,mist-cladmaidensgoingupet
anddownthem;courts,marble-pillared,
où
whereshimmeringfountainsfellandnightingaleschantaient
sangamongthemyrtles;hallsofmirrorsthatreflectedonlyhandsomeknights
et
andlovelywomen—herselftheloveliestoftoutes
all,forwhoseglancemenmouraient
died.Allthatsupportedherthrough
la
theboredomofherdayswasla
thehopeofgoingonarêver
dreamspreeatnight.Most,
si
ifnotall,oftheStirlingswouldhavemorts
diedofhorroriftheyhadsu
knownhalfthethingsValancyfaites
didinherBlueCastle.Foronethingshehadquiteafewloversinit.
Oh,onlyoneata
fois
time.Onewhowooedher
avec
withalltheromanticardourofla
theageofchivalryandwonheraprès
afterlongdevotionandmanydeedsofderring-do,et
andwasweddedtoheravec
withpompandcircumstanceinla
thegreat,banner-hungchapelofla
theBlueCastle.Attwelve,
cet
thisloverwasafairladavec
withgoldencurlsandheavenlyblueeyes.Atfifteen,hewastall
et
anddarkandpale,buttoujours
stillnecessarilyhandsome.Attwenty,hewasascetic,dreamy,spiritual.
Attwenty-five,hehadaclean-cutjaw,slightlygrim,
et
andafacestrongandruggedratherque
thanhandsome.Valancynevergrewolderthantwenty-fiveinherBlueCastle,
mais
butrecently—veryrecently—herherohadeu
hadreddish,tawnyhair,atwistedsmileet
andamysteriouspast.Idon’t
dis
sayValancydeliberatelymurderedtheseloversassheoutgrewles
them.Onesimplyfadedawayasanothercame.
Thingsare
très
veryconvenientinthisrespectinBlueCastles.Mais
But,onthismorningofherjour
dayoffate,Valancycouldnottrouver
findthekeyofherBlueCastle.Realitypressedonher
trop
toohardly,barkingatherheelscomme
likeamaddeninglittledog.Shewastwenty-nine,lonely,undesired,ill-favoured—the
seule
onlyhomelygirlinahandsomeclan,withnopassé
pastandnofuture.Asfarasshe
pouvait
couldlookback,lifewasdrabet
andcolourless,withnotonesinglecrimsonou
orpurplespotanywhere.As
loin
farasshecouldlookforwarditseemedcertaintobejustle
thesameuntilshewasrien
nothingbutasolitary,littlewitheredleafclingingtoune
awintrybough.Themomentwhen
une
awomanrealisesthatshedevoir
hasnothingtolivefor—neitheramour
love,duty,purposenorhope—holdsforherthebitternessofmort
death.“AndIjusthavetogoon
vivre
livingbecauseIcan’tstop.I
pourrais
mayhavetoliveeightyyears,”pensa
thoughtValancy,inakindofpanic.“We’re
tous
allhorriblylong-lived.Itsickensmeto
penser
thinkofit.”Shewasgladitwasraining—orrather,shewasdrearilysatisfiedthatitwasraining.
Il
Therewouldbenopicnicque
thatday.Thisannualpicnic,wherebyAunt
et
andUncleWellington—onealwaysthoughtoftheminque
thatsuccession—inevitablycelebratedtheirengagementatun
apicnicthirtyyearsbefore,hadbeen,oflateyears,un
averitablenightmaretoValancy.By
une
animpishcoincidenceitwasthemême
samedayasherbirthdayet
and,aftershehadpassedtwenty-five,nobodylaissait
letherforgetit.Muchasshe
déteste
hatedgoingtothepicnic,italler
wouldneverhaveoccurredtohertorebelcontre
againstit.Thereseemedtobe
rien
nothingoftherevolutionaryinhernature.Et
Andsheknewexactlywhateveryonewoulddirait
saytoheratthepicnic.UncleWellington,whomshedisliked
et
anddespisedeventhoughhehadfulfilledla
thehighestStirlingaspiration,“marryingmoney,”woulddisait
saytoherinapig’swhisper,“Notpensez
thinkingofgettingmarriedyet,mydear?”et
andthengooffintole
thebellowoflaughterwithwhichheinvariablyconcludedhisdullremarks.AuntWellington,ofwhomValancystoodinabjectawe,wouldtellheraboutOlive’snewchiffondress
et
andCecil’slastdevotedletter.Valancy
été
wouldhavetolookaspleasedet
andinterestedasifthedresset
andletterhadbeenhersorelseAuntWellingtonété
wouldbeoffended.AndValancyhad
longtemps
longagodecidedthatshewouldratheroffendDieu
GodthanAuntWellington,becauseDieu
GodmightforgiveherbutAuntWellingtonjamais
neverwould.AuntAlberta,enormouslyfat,
avec
withanamiablehabitoftoujours
alwaysreferringtoherhusbandas“he,”asifheweretheseule
onlymalecreatureinthemonde
world,whocouldneverforgetthatshehadbeenagreatbeautyinheryouth,été
wouldcondolewithValancyonhersallowskin—.“Idon’t
sais
knowwhyallthegirlsoftodayaresosunburned.Quand
WhenIwasagirlmyskinwasroseset
andcream.Iwascounted
la
theprettiestgirlinCanada,mydear.”Peut-être
PerhapsUncleHerbertwouldn’tsayanything—orpeut-être
perhapshewouldremarkjocularly,“Howfatyou’regetting,Doss!”Et
Andtheneverybodywouldlaughoverle
theexcessivelyhumorousideaofpauvre
poor,scrawnylittleDossgettingfat.Handsome,solemn
Oncle
UncleJames,whomValancydislikedmais
butrespectedbecausehewasreputedtobetrès
verycleverandwasthereforetheclanoracle—brainsbeingnonetrop
tooplentifulintheStirlingconnection—wouldprobablement
probablyremarkwiththeowl-likesarcasmthathadwonhimhisreputation,“Isupposeyou’rebusyavec
withyourhope-chestthesedays?”Et
AndUncleBenjaminwouldaskcertaines
someofhisabominableconundrums,entre
betweenwheezychuckles,andanswerthemhimself.“Whatis
la
thedifferencebetweenDossandune
amouse?“Themousewishestoharmthecheese
et
andDosswishestocharmthehe’s.”Valancyhad
entendu
heardhimaskthatriddlefiftytimeset
andeverytimeshewantedtothrowquelque chose
somethingathim.Butshe
jamais
neverdid.Inthefirst
lieu
place,theStirlingssimplydidnotthrowthings;in
la
thesecondplace,UncleBenjaminwasun
awealthyandchildlessoldwidoweret
andValancyhadbeenbroughtupinla
thefearandadmonitionofhisargent
money.Ifsheoffendedhimhewouldcutheroutofhiswill—supposingshewereinit.
Valancydidnot
voulait
wanttobecutoutofUncleBenjamin’swill.Shehadbeen
pauvre
poorallherlifeandconnaissait
knewthegallingbitternessofit.Sosheenduredhisriddles
et
andevensmiledtorturedlittlesmilessur
overthem.AuntIsabel,downright
et
anddisagreeableasaneastwind,wouldcriticiseherinsomeway—Valancypouvait
couldnotpredictjusthow,forAuntIsabeljamais
neverrepeatedacriticism—shefoundquelque chose
somethingnewwithwhichtojabyouchaque
everytime.AuntIsabelpridedherselfonsayingwhatshethought,
mais
butdidn’tlikeitsowellquand
whenotherpeoplesaidwhattheythoughttoher.Valancy
jamais
neversaidwhatshethought.CousinGeorgiana—namedafterhergreat-great-grand-mother,whohadbeennamedafterGeorgetheFourth—wouldrecountdolorouslythenamesof
tous
allrelativesandfriendswhohaddécédés
diedsincethelastpicnicet
andwonder“whichofusété
willbethefirsttopartir
gonext.”Oppressivelycompetent,AuntMildredwould
parlait
talkendlesslyofherhusbandet
andherodiousprodigiesofbabiestoValancy,parce que
becauseValancywouldbetheonlyoneshepourrait
couldfindtoputupwithit.Forthe
même
samereason,CousinGladys—reallyFirstCousinGladysonceremoved,accordingtothestrictfaçon
wayinwhichtheStirlingstabulatedrelationship—atall,thinladywhoadmittedsheavoir
hadasensitivedisposition,woulddescribeminutelythetorturesofherneuritis.Et
AndOlive,thewondergirlofthewholeStirlingclan,qui
whohadeverythingValancyhadnot—beauty,popularity,love,—wouldshowoffherbeautyet
andpresumeonherpopularityet
andflauntherdiamondinsigniaofamour
loveinValancy’sdazzled,enviouseyes.Il
Therewouldbenoneoftout
allthistoday.Andtherewouldbe
pas
nopackingupofteaspoons.Thepackingupwas
toujours
alwaysleftforValancyandCousinStickles.Et
Andonce,sixyearsago,une
asilverteaspoonfromAuntWellington’sweddingsethadbeenlost.Valancy
jamais
neverheardthelastofthatsilverteaspoon.ItsghostappearedBanquo-likeat
chaque
everysubsequentfamilyfeast.Oh,
oui
yes,Valancyknewexactlywhatthepicnicwouldbelikeet
andsheblessedtherainthathadsavedherfromit.Il
Therewouldbenopicniccette
thisyear.IfAuntWellington
pouvait
couldnotcelebrateonthesacredjour
dayitselfshewouldhavepas
nocelebrationatall.Thankwhatevergodstherewereforthat.
Sincethere
irait
wouldbenopicnic,Valancymadeuphermindque
that,iftherainheldupinla
theafternoon,shewouldgouptola
thelibraryandgetanotherofJohnFoster’sbooks.Valancywas
jamais
neverallowedtoreadnovels,mais
butJohnFoster’sbookswerenotnovels.Theywere“naturebooks”—sothelibrarian
dit
toldMrs.FrederickStirling—“allaboutthewoodset
andbirdsandbugsandthingscomme
likethat,youknow.”SoValancywasallowedto
lire
readthem—underprotest,foritwasonlytrop
tooevidentthatsheenjoyedthemtrop
toomuch.Itwaspermissible,evenlaudable,to
lire
readtoimproveyourmindet
andyourreligion,butalivre
bookthatwasenjoyablewasdangerous.Valancydidnot
savait
knowwhetherhermindwasbeingimprovedou
ornot;butshefeltvaguely
que
thatifshehadcomeacrossJohnFoster’sbooksyearsagovie
lifemighthavebeenadifferentthingforher.Theyseemedtohertoyieldglimpsesofa
monde
worldintowhichshemightoncehaveentered,thoughla
thedoorwasforeverbarredtohermaintenant
now.Itwasonlywithinthe
dernière
lastyearthatJohnFoster’sbookshadbeenintheDeerwoodlibrary,thoughthelibrariandit
toldValancythathehadbeenun
awell-knownwriterforseveralyears.“Wheredoeshelive?”
Valancyhad
demandé
asked.“Nobodyknows.
Fromhisbookshe
doit
mustbeaCanadian,butpas
nomoreinformationcanbedoit
had.Hispublisherswon’tsay
un
aword.QuitelikelyJohnFosteris
un
anomdeplume.Hisbooksaresopopularwecan’t
garder
keeptheminatall,si
thoughIreallycan’tseewhatgens
peoplefindinthemtoraveover.”“I
pense
thinkthey’rewonderful,”saidValancy,timidly.“Oh—well—”
Mlle
MissClarksonsmiledinapatronisingfashionthatrelegatedValancy’sopinionstolimbo,“Ican’tdire
sayIcaremuchforbugsmyself.Mais
ButcertainlyFosterseemstosavoir
knowallthereistosavoir
knowaboutthem.”Valancydidn’t
savait
knowwhethershecaredmuchforbugseither.ItwasnotJohnFoster’suncannyknowledgeofwildcreatures
et
andinsectlifethatenthralledher.She
pouvait
couldhardlysaywhatitwas—sometantalisinglureofun
amysteryneverrevealed—somehintofun
agreatsecretjustapeu
littlefurtheron—somefaint,elusiveechooflovely,forgottenthings—JohnFoster’smagicwasindefinable.Oui
Yes,shewouldgetanouveau
newFosterbook.Itwas
un
amonthsinceshehadThistleHarvest,sosurelyMotherpouvait
couldnotobject.Valancyhad
lu
readitfourtimes—sheknewwholepassagesoffbycœur
heart.And—shealmostthoughtshewouldgo
et
andseeDr.Trentaboutthatqueerpainautour
aroundtheheart.Ithad
venu
comeratheroftenlately,andles
thepalpitationswerebecomingannoying,nottoparler
speakofanoccasionaldizzymomentet
andaqueershortnessofbreath.Mais
Butcouldshegotovoir
seehimwithouttellinganyone?Itwas
une
amostdaringthought.NoneoftheStirlingseverconsulted
un
adoctorwithoutholdingafamille
familycouncilandgettingUncleJames’approval.Then,they
allés
wenttoDr.AmbroseMarshofPortLawrence,qui
whohadmarriedSecondCousinAdelaideStirling.Mais
ButValancydislikedDr.AmbroseMarsh.Et
And,besides,shecouldnotgettoPortLawrence,fifteenmilesaway,sans
withoutbeingtakenthere.Shedidnot
voulait
wantanyonetoknowabouthercœur
heart.Therewouldbesuch
un
afussmadeandeverymemberofthefamille
familywouldcomedownandparlaient
talkitoverandadviseheret
andcautionherandwarnheret
andtellherhorribletalesofgreat-auntset
andcousinsfortytimesremovedwhohadbeen“justcomme
likethat”and“droppeddeadsans
withoutamoment’swarning,mydear.”AuntIsabelwouldrememberthatshehad
toujours
alwayssaidDosslookedlikeune
agirlwhowouldhavehearttrouble—“sopinchedet
andpeakedalways”;andUncleWellingtonwould
prendrait
takeitasapersonalinsult,when“noStirlingevereu
hadheartdiseasebefore”;andGeorgianawouldforebodeinperfectlyaudibleasides
que
that“poor,dearlittleDossisn’tlongtemps
longforthisworld,I’mafraid”;et
andCousinGladyswouldsay,“Why,mycœur
hearthasbeenlikethatforyears,”inatonethatimpliednooneelseavoir
hadanybusinesseventoavoir
haveaheart;andOlive—Olivewouldmerelylook
belle
beautifulandsuperioranddisgustinglyhealthy,asiftodire
say,“Whyallthisfusssur
overafadedsuperfluitylikeDossquand
whenyouhaveme?”Valancyfeltthatshecouldn’t
dire
tellanybodyunlessshehadà
to.Shefeltquitesuretherewas
rien
nothingatallseriouslywrongavec
withherheartandnobesoin
needofallthepotherqui
thatwouldensueifshementionedit.Shewouldjustslipupquietly
et
andseeDr.Trentthatveryday.Asforhisbill,shehadthe
deux
twohundreddollarsthatherpère
fatherhadputinthebankforherthejour
dayshewasborn.Shewas
jamais
neverallowedtouseevenle
theinterestofthis,butsheété
wouldsecretlytakeoutenoughtopayer
payDr.Trent.Dr.
Trentwasagruff,outspoken,absent-mindedoldfellow,
mais
buthewasarecognisedauthorityonheartdisease,même
evenifhewereonlyageneralpractitionerinout-of-the-worldDeerwood.Dr.Trentwasoverseventy
et
andtherehadbeenrumoursthathemeanttoretirebientôt
soon.NoneoftheStirlingclanhadevergonetohim
depuis
sincehehadtoldCousinGladys,dix
tenyearsbefore,thatherneuritiswasallimaginaryet
andthatsheenjoyedit.Youcouldn’tpatronisea
médecin
doctorwhoinsultedyourfirst-cousin-once-removedcomme
likethat—nottomentionthathewasaPresbyterianquand
whenalltheStirlingswenttoles
theAnglicanchurch.CHAPTERII
Quand
WhenCousinSticklesknockedatherporte
door,Valancyknewitwashalf-pastsevenet
andshemustgetup.As
longtemps
longasshecouldremember,CousinStickleshadknockedatherporte
doorathalf-pastseven.CousinStickles
et
andMrs.FrederickStirlinghadbeenupdepuis
sinceseven,butValancywasallowedtolieabeddemi
halfanhourlongerbecauseofafamilytraditionthatshewasdelicate.Valancygotup,thoughshe
déteste
hatedgettingupmorethismatin
morningthanevershehadbefore.