Chapter1
ItbeganinaWoman’sClubinLondonona
Februari
Februaryafternoon—anuncomfortableclub,andamiserableafternoon—whenMrs.Wilkins,whohadcomedownfromHampsteadtoshopandhadlunchedatherclub,tookupTheTimesfromthetableinthesmoking-room,andrunningherlistlesseyedowntheAgony
AgonyColumnsawthis:.ToThosewhoAppreciateWistariaandSunshine.
SmallmediaevalItalianCastleontheshoresofthe
Middellandse zee
MediterraneantobeLetFurnishedforthemonthofApril.Necessaryservantsremain.
Z,Box1000,TheTimes.
Thatwasits
opvatting
conception;yet,asinthecaseofmanyanother,theconceiverwas
hoogte
unawareofitatthemoment.Soentirely
onbewust
unawarewasMrs.WilkinsthatherAprilforthatyearhadthenandtherebeensettledforherthatshedroppedthenewspaperwithagebaar
gesturethatwasbothirritatedandresigned,andwentovertothewindowandstaarde
stareddrearilyoutatthedrippingstreet.Notforherweremediaevalcastles,eventhosethatarespecially
omschreven
describedassmall.NotforhertheshoresinAprilofthe
Middellandse zee
Mediterranean,andthewistariaandzonneschijn
sunshine.Suchdelightswereonlyfortherich.
Yetthe
advertentie
advertisementhadbeenaddressedtopersonswhoappreciatethesethings,sothatithadbeen,anyhow,addressedtootoher,forshecertainlyappreciatedthem;morethananybodyknew;
morethanshehadevertold.
Butshewaspoor.
Inthewholeworldshe
bezat
possessedofherveryownonlyninetypounds,savedfromyeartoyear,putbycarefullypond
poundbypound,outofherdresstoelage
allowance.Shehadscrapedthis
bedrag
sumtogetheratthesuggestionofherhusbandasaschild
shieldandrefugeagainstaregenachtige
rainyday.Herdressallowance,givenherbyherfather,was£100ayear,sothatMrs.Wilkins’sclotheswerewhatherhusband,urginghertosave,calledmodestandbecoming,andher
kennis
acquaintancetoeachother,whentheyspokeofheratall,whichwaszelden
seldomforshewasverynegligible,calledaperfectsight.Mr.
Wilkins,a
advocaat
solicitor,encouragedthrift,exceptthattak
branchofitwhichgotintohisfood.Hedidnotcallthatthrift,hecalleditbadhousekeeping.
Butforthethriftwhich,like
mot
moth,penetratedintoMrs.Wilkins’sclothesandspoiltthem,hehadmuchlof
praise.“Youneverknow,”hesaid,“whentherewillbea
regenachtige
rainyday,andyoumaybeverygladtofindyouhaveanest-egg.Indeedwebothmay.”
LookingoutoftheclubwindowintoShaftesburyAvenue—herswasaneconomicalclub,butconvenientforHampstead,whereshelived,andforShoolbred’s,wheresheshopped—Mrs.
Wilkins,havingstoodtheresometimeverydrearily,hermind’seyeonthe
Middellandse zee
MediterraneaninApril,andthewistaria,andtheenviableopportunitiesoftherich,whileherlichamelijke
bodilyeyewatchedthereallyextremelyhorriblesootyrainfallingsteadilyonthehurryingumbrellasandsplashingomnibuses,suddenlywonderedwhetherperhapsthiswasnottheregenachtige
rainydayMellersh—MellershwasMr.Wilkins—hadsooftenencouragedhertopreparefor,andwhethertogetoutofsuchaclimateandintothesmallmediaevalcastlewasn’tperhapswhatProvidencehadallalongintendedhertodowithhersavings.Partofhersavings,ofcourse;
perhapsquiteasmallpart.
Thecastle,beingmediaeval,mightalsobedilapidated,anddilapidationsweresurelycheap.
Shewouldn’tintheleastmindafewofthem,becauseyoudidn’tpayfordilapidationswhichwerealreadythere;
onthecontrary—by
verlagen
reducingthepriceyouhadtopaytheyreallypaidyou.Butwhatnonsensetothinkofit...
Sheturnedawayfromthewindowwiththesame
gebaar
gestureofmingledirritationandresignationwithwhichshehadlaiddownTheTimes,andcrossedtheroomtowardsthedoorwiththebedoeling
intentionofgettinghermackintoshandparaplu
umbrellaandfightingherwayintooneoftheovercrowdedomnibusesandgoingtoShoolbred’sonherwayhomeandbuyingsomesolesforMellersh’sdinner—Mellershwasdifficultwithfishandlikedonlysoles,exceptsalmon—whenshebeheldMrs.Arbuthnot,awomansheknewbysightasalsolivinginHampsteadandbelongingtotheclub,sittingatthetableinthemiddleoftheroomonwhichthenewspapersandmagazineswerekept,absorbed,inherturn,inthefirstpageofTheTimes.Mrs.
WilkinshadneveryetspokentoMrs.Arbuthnot,whobelongedtooneofthe
verschillende
variouschurchsets,andwhoanalysed,classified,verdeelde
dividedandregisteredthepoor;whereassheandMellersh,whentheydidgoout,wenttothepartiesofimpressionistpainters,ofwhominHampsteadthereweremany.
Mellershhadasisterwhohadmarriedoneofthemandliveduponthe
Heide
Heath,andbecauseofthisalliantie
allianceMrs.Wilkinswasdrawnintoacirclewhichwashighlyonnatuurlijk
unnaturaltoher,andshehadlearnedtodreadpictures.Shehadtosaythingsaboutthem,andshedidn’tknowwhattosay.
Sheusedtomurmur,“Marvellous,”andfeelthatitwasnotenough.
Butnobodyminded.
Nobodylistened.
NobodytookanynoticeofMrs.Wilkins.
Shewasthekindofpersonwhoisnotnoticedatparties.
Herclothes,infestedbythrift,madeher
praktisch
practicallyinvisible;herfacewasnon-arresting;
herconversationwas
terughoudend
reluctant;shewasshy.
Andifone’sclothesandfaceandconversationareallnegligible,thoughtMrs.Wilkins,who
herkende
recognisedherdisabilities,what,atparties,isthereleftofone?AlsoshewasalwayswithWilkins,thatclean-shaven,fine-lookingman,whogaveaparty,
alleen
merelybycomingtoit,agreatair.Wilkinswasveryrespectable.
Hewasknowntobehighlythoughtofbyhisseniorpartners.
Hissister’scircle
bewonderde
admiredhim.Hepronouncedadequately
intelligente
intelligentjudgmentsonartandartists.Hewaspithy;
hewas
voorzichtig
prudent;heneversaidawordtoomuch,nor,ontheotherhand,didheeversayawordtoolittle.
Heproducedthe
indruk
impressionofkeepingcopiesofeverythinghesaid;andhewassoobviously
betrouwbaar
reliablethatitoftenhappenedthatpeoplewhomethimatthesepartiesbecamediscontentedwiththeirownsolicitors,andafteraperiodofrusteloosheid
restlessnessextricatedthemselvesandwenttoWilkins.Natuurlijk
NaturallyMrs.Wilkinswasblottedout.“She,”saidhissister,withsomethingherselfofthe
rechterlijke
judicial,thedigested,andthefinalinhermanier
manner,“shouldstayathome.”ButWilkinscouldnotleavehiswifeathome.
Hewasafamily
advocaat
solicitor,andallsuchhavewivesandshowthem.Withhisintheweekhewenttoparties,andwithhisonSundayshewenttochurch.
Beingstillfairlyyoung—hewasthirty-nine—and
ambitieus
ambitiousofoldladies,ofwhomhehadnotyetverworven
acquiredinhispracticeasufficientnumber,hecouldnotaffordtomisschurch,anditwastherethatMrs.Wilkinsbecamefamiliar,thoughneverthroughwords,withMrs.Arbuthnot.Shesawhermarshallingthechildrenofthepoorintopews.
Shewouldcomeinattheheadofthe
processie
processionfromtheSundaySchoolexactlyfiveminutesbeforethekoor
choir,andgetherboysandgirlsnetjes
neatlyfittedintotheirallottedseats,anddownontheirlittlekneesintheirpreliminaryprayer,andupagainontheirfeetjustas,totheswellingorgan,thevestrydooropened,andthekoor
choirandclergy,bigwiththelitaniesandcommandmentstheywerepresentlytorollout,naar voren
emerged.Shehadasadface,yetshewas
blijkbaar
evidentlyefficient.ThecombinationusedtomakeMrs.Wilkinswonder,forshehadbeentoldbyMellersh,ondayswhenshehadonlybeenabletogetplaice,thatifonewereefficientonewouldn’tbe
depressief
depressed,andthatifonedoesone’sjobwellonebecomesautomatisch
automaticallybrightandbrisk.AboutMrs.Arbuthnottherewasnothingbrightandbrisk,thoughmuchinherwaywiththeSundaySchoolchildrenthatwas
automatisch
automatic;butwhenMrs.Wilkins,turningfromthewindow,caughtsightofherintheclubshewasnotbeing
automatisch
automaticatall,butwaslookingfixedlyatonedeel
portionofthefirstpageofTheTimes,holdingthepaperquitestill,hereyesnotmoving.Shewasjust
staarde
staring;andherface,asusual,wasthefaceofapatientanddisappointedMadonna.
Obeyinganimpulseshewonderedatevenwhileobeyingit,Mrs.Wilkins,theshyandthereluctant,insteadofproceedingasshehadintendedtothecloakroomandfromthencetoSchoolbred’sinsearchofMellersh’sfish,stoppedatthetableandsatdownexactlyoppositeMrs.Arbuthnot,towhomshehadneveryetspokeninherlife.
Itwasoneofthoselong,
smalle
narrowrefectorytables,sothattheywerequiteclosetoeachother.Mrs.
Arbuthnot,however,didnotlookup.
Shecontinuedto
staren
gaze,witheyesthatseemedtobedreaming,atonespotonlyofTheTimes.Mrs.
Wilkinswatchedheraminute,tryingtoscrewupcouragetospeaktoher.
Shewantedtoaskherifshehadseenthe
advertentie
advertisement.Shedidnotknowwhyshewantedtoaskherthis,butshewantedto.
Howstupidnottobeabletospeaktoher.
Shelookedsokind.
Shelookedsounhappy.
Whycouldn’ttwounhappypeople
verfrissen
refresheachotherontheirwaythroughthisstoffige
dustybusinessoflifebyalittletalk—real,naturaltalk,aboutwhattheyfelt,whattheywouldhaveliked,whattheystilltriedtohope?AndshecouldnothelpthinkingthatMrs.Arbuthnot,too,wasreadingthatverysame
advertentie
advertisement.Hereyeswereontheverypartofthepaper.
Wasshe,too,picturingwhatitwouldbelike—the
kleur
colour,thefragrance,thelight,thesoftlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks?Kleur
Colour,fragrance,light,sea;insteadofShaftesbury
Avenue
Avenue,andthewetomnibuses,andthefishdepartmentatShoolbred’s,andtheTubetoHampstead,anddinner,andto-morrowthesameandthedayafterthesameandalwaysthesame...SuddenlyMrs.Wilkinsfoundherselfleaningacrossthetable.
“Areyoureadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria?”
sheheardherselfasking.
Natuurlijk
NaturallyMrs.Arbuthnotwassurprised;butshewasnothalfsomuchsurprisedasMrs.Wilkinswasatherselfforasking.
Mrs.
Arbuthnothadnotyettoherknowledgeseteyesontheshabby,lank,loosely-put-togetherfiguresittingoppositeher,withitssmallfreckledfaceandbiggreyeyesalmostdisappearingunderasmashed-downwet-weatherhat,andshe
staarde
gazedatheramomentwithoutanswering.Shewasreadingaboutthemediaevalcastleandthewistaria,orratherhadreadaboutittenminutesbefore,andsincethenhadbeenlostindreams—oflight,of
kleur
colour,offragrance,ofthesoftlappingoftheseaamonglittlehotrocks...“Whydoyouaskmethat?”
shesaidinhergravevoice,forhertrainingofandbythepoorhadmadehergraveandpatient.
Mrs.
Wilkinsflushedandlookedexcessivelyshyandfrightened.
“Oh,onlybecauseIsawittoo,andIthoughtperhaps—Ithoughtsomehow—”
shestammered.
WhereuponMrs.Arbuthnot,hermindbeingusedtogettingpeopleintolistsanddivisions,from
gewoonte
habitconsidered,asshegazedthoughtfullyatMrs.Wilkins,underwhatheading,supposingshehadtoclassifyher,shecouldmostproperlybeput.“AndIknowyoubysight,”wentonMrs.Wilkins,who,likealltheshy,onceshewasstarted
stortte
plungedon,frighteningherselftomoreandmorespeechbythesheersoundofwhatshehadsaidlastinherears.“EverySunday—IseeyoueverySundayinchurch—”.
“Inchurch?”
echoedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Andthisseemssuchawonderfulthing—this
advertentie
advertisementaboutthewistaria—and—”.Mrs.
Wilkins,whomusthavebeenatleastthirty,brokeoffandwriggledinherchairwiththemovementofanawkwardandembarrassedschoolgirl.
“Itseemssowonderful,”shewentoninakindof
uitbarsting
burst,“and—itissuchamiserableday...”AndthenshesatlookingatMrs.Arbuthnotwiththeeyesofanimprisoneddog.
“Thispoorthing,”thoughtMrs.Arbuthnot,whoselifewasspentinhelpingandalleviating,“needsadvice.”
Sheaccordinglypreparedherself
geduldig
patientlytogiveit.“Ifyouseemeinchurch,”shesaid,
vriendelijk
kindlyandattentively,“IsupposeyouliveinHampsteadtoo?”“Ohyes,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
Andsherepeated,herheadonitslongthinneckdroopingalittleasiftherecollectionofHampsteadbowedher,“Ohyes.”
“Where?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot,who,whenadvicewasneeded,
natuurlijk
naturallyfirstproceededtocollectthefacts.ButMrs.Wilkins,layingherhandsoftlyandcaressinglyonthepartofTheTimeswherethe
advertentie
advertisementwas,asthoughthelouter
mereprintedwordsofitwereprecious,onlysaid,“Perhapsthat’swhythisseemssowonderful.”“No—Ithinkthat’swonderfulanyhow,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,forgettingfactsandfaintly
zuchtend
sighing.“Thenyouwerereadingit?”
“Yes,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,hereyesgoing
dromerig
dreamyagain.“Wouldn’titbewonderful?”
murmuredMrs.Wilkins.
“Wonderful,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot.
Herface,whichhad
verlicht
litup,fadedintopatienceagain.“Verywonderful,”shesaid.
“Butit’snousewastingone’stimethinkingofsuchthings.”
“Oh,butitis,”wasMrs.Wilkins’squick,surprising
antwoord
reply;surprisingbecauseitwassomuchunliketherestofher—thecharacterlesscoatand
rok
skirt,thecrumpledhat,theundecidedwispofhairstragglingout.“Andjusttheconsideringofthemisworthwhileinitself—suchachangefromHampstead—andsometimesIbelieve—Ireallydobelieve—ifoneconsidershardenoughonegetsthings.”
Mrs.
Arbuthnot
observeerde
observedherpatiently.Inwhat
categorie
categorywouldshe,supposingshehadto,puther?“Perhaps,”shesaid,leaningforwardalittle,“youwilltellmeyourname.
Ifwearetobefriends”—shesmiledhergravesmile—“asIhopeweare,wehadbetterbeginatthebeginning.”
“Ohyes—howkindofyou.
I’mMrs.Wilkins,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Idon’texpect,”sheadded,flushing,asMrs.Arbuthnotsaidnothing,“thatitconveysanythingtoyou.
Sometimesit—itdoesn’tseemtoconveyanythingtomeeither.
But”—shelookedroundwithamovementofseekinghelp—“IamMrs.Wilkins.”
Shedidnotlikehername.
Itwasamean,smallname,withakindoffacetious
twist
twist,shethought,aboutitsendliketheopwaartse
upwardcurveofapugdog’stail.Thereitwas,however.
Therewasnodoinganythingwithit.
WilkinsshewasandWilkinsshewouldremain;
andthoughherhusbandencouragedhertogiveitonalloccasionsasMrs.Mellersh-Wilkinssheonlydidthatwhenhewaswithinearshot,forshethoughtMellershmadeWilkinsworse,emphasisingitinthewayChatsworthonthegate-postsofa
villa
villaemphasisesthevilla.WhenfirsthesuggestedsheshouldaddMellershshehadobjectedfortheabovereason,andafterapause—Mellershwasmuchtooprudenttospeakexceptafterapause,duringwhich
vermoedelijk
presumablyhewastakingacarefulmentalcopyofhiscomingobservation—hesaid,muchdispleased,“ButIamnotavilla,”andlookedatherashelookswhohopes,forperhapsthehundredthtime,thathemaynothavemarriedafool.Ofcoursehewasnota
villa
villa,Mrs.Wilkinsassuredhim;shehadneversupposedhewas;
shehadnotdreamedofmeaning...
shewasonlyjustthinking...
ThemoresheexplainedthemoreearnestbecameMellersh’shope,familiartohimbythistime,forhehadthenbeenahusbandfortwoyears,thathemightnotbyanychancehavemarriedafool;
andtheyhadaprolonged
ruzie
quarrel,ifthatcanbecalledaruzie
quarrelwhichisconductedwithwaardige
dignifiedsilenceononesideandearnestapologyontheother,astowhetherornoMrs.WilkinshadintendedtosuggestthatMr.Wilkinswasavilla
villa.“Ibelieve,”shehadthoughtwhenitwasatlastover—ittookalongwhile—“thatanybodywould
ruzie
quarrelaboutanythingwhenthey’venotleftoffbeingtogetherforasingledayfortwowholeyears.Whatwebothneedisaholiday.”
“Myhusband,”wentonMrs.WilkinstoMrs.Arbuthnot,tryingtothrowsomelightonherself,“isa
advocaat
solicitor.He—”
ShecastaboutforsomethingshecouldsayelucidatoryofMellersh,andfound:
“He’sveryhandsome.”
“Well,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot
vriendelijk
kindly,“thatmustbeagreatpleasuretoyou.”“Why?”
askedMrs.Wilkins.
“Because,”saidMrs.Arbuthnot,alittletakenaback,for
voortdurende
constantintercoursewiththepoorhadgewend
accustomedhertohaveherpronouncementsacceptedwithoutquestion,“becausebeauty—handsomeness—isagiftlikeanyother,andifitisproperlyused—”.Shetrailedoffintosilence.
Mrs.Wilkins’sgreatgreyeyeswerefixedonher,anditseemedsuddenlytoMrs.Arbuthnotthatperhapsshewasbecomingcrystallisedintoa
gewoonte
habitofexposition,andofexpositionafterthemanier
mannerofnursemaids,throughhavinganaudiencethatcouldn’tbutagree,thatwouldbeafraid,ifitwished,toonderbreken
interrupt,thatdidn’tknow,thatwas,infact,athermercy.ButMrs.Wilkinswasnotlistening;
forjustthen,
absurd
absurdasitseemed,apicturehadflashedacrossherbrain,andthereweretwofiguresinitsittingtogetherunderagreattrailingwistariathatstretchedacrossthebranchesofatreeshedidn’tknow,anditwasherselfandMrs.Arbuthnot—shesawthem—shesawthem.Andbehindthem,brightin
zon
sunshine,wereoldgreywalls—themediaevalcastle—shesawit—theywerethere...Shetherefore
staarde
staredatMrs.Arbuthnotanddidnothearawordshesaid.AndMrs.Arbuthnot
staarde
staredtooatMrs.Wilkins,arrestedbytheuitdrukking
expressiononherface,whichwassweptbytheopwinding
excitementofwhatshesaw,andwasasluminousandtremulousunderitaswaterinsunlightwhenitisruffledbyagustofwind.Atthismoment,ifshehadbeenataparty,Mrs.Wilkinswouldhavebeenlookedatwithinterest.
Theystaredateachother;
Mrs.Arbuthnotsurprised,inquiringly,Mrs.Wilkinswiththeeyesofsomeonewhohashada
openbaring
revelation.Ofcourse.
Thatwashowitcouldbedone.
Sheherself,shebyherself,couldn’taffordit,andwouldn’tbeable,evenifshecouldaffordit,togothereallalone;
butsheandMrs.Arbuthnottogether...
Sheleanedacrossthetable.
“Whydon’twetryandgetit?”
she
fluisterde
whispered.Mrs.
Arbuthnotbecameevenmorewide-eyed.
“Getit?”
sherepeated.
“Yes,”saidMrs.Wilkins,stillasthoughshewereafraidofbeingoverheard.
“NotjustsithereandsayHowwonderful,andthengohometoHampsteadwithouthavingputoutafinger—gohomejustasusualandseeaboutthedinnerandthefishjustaswe’vebeendoingforyearsandyearsandwillgoondoingforyearsandyears.
Infact,”saidMrs.Wilkins,flushingtotherootsofherhair,forthesoundofwhatshewassaying,ofwhatwascomingpouringout,frightenedher,andyetshecouldn’tstop,“Iseenoendtoit.
Thereisnoendtoit.
Sothatthereoughttobeabreak,thereoughttobeintervals—ineverybody’sinterests.
Why,itwouldreallybebeingunselfishtogoawayandbehappyforalittle,becausewewouldcomebacksomuch
aardiger
nicer.Yousee,afterabiteverybodyneedsaholiday.”
“But—howdoyoumean,getit?”
askedMrs.Arbuthnot.
“Takeit,”saidMrs.Wilkins.
“Takeit?”