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Notes from the Underground | Progressively Translated Dutch A1 Books

Notes from the Underground | Progressively Translated Dutch A1 Books

Unlock the potential of this modern translation approach, designed to enhance your language learning experience. By allowing you to choose your difficulty level, it guarantees a personalized challenge that's suited to your progress. This method promotes comprehension by encouraging you to infer the meaning of new words from context, rather than relying heavily on direct translations. Though some translations are obscured to stimulate guessing, it's perfectly fine to consult a dictionary when needed. This technique combines challenge and support, making language learning fun and effective. Explore these translated classics to enjoy literature while advancing your language skills.

I
Iamasick
man
man....
Iamaspiteful
man
man.
Iamanunattractive
man
man.
Ibelievemyliverisdiseased.
However,I
weet
knownothingatallaboutmydisease,
en
anddonotknowforcertainwhatails
mij
me.
Idon’tconsulta
dokter
doctorforit,andnever
heb
have,thoughIhavearespectformedicine
en
anddoctors.
Besides,Iamextremelysuperstitious,sufficientlysotorespectmedicine,
ieder geval
anyway(Iamwell-educatedenoughnottobesuperstitious,
maar
butIamsuperstitious).
No,Irefusetoconsult
een
adoctorfromspite.
Thatyou
waarschijnlijk
probablywillnotunderstand.
Well,I
begrijp
understandit,though.
Ofcourse,Ican’texplainwhoitispreciselythatIammortifyingin
dit
thiscasebymyspite:
Iamperfectly
goed
wellawarethatIcannot“payout”
de
thedoctorsbynotconsulting
hen
them;
Iknowbetterthan
niemand
anyonethatbyallthisIam
alleen
onlyinjuringmyselfandnooneelse.
Maar
Butstill,ifIdon’tconsulta
dokter
doctoritisfromspite.
Myliveris
slecht
bad,well—letitgetworse!
Ihavebeen
ga
goingonlikethatfor
een
alongtime—twentyyears.
NowIamforty.
Iusedtobein
de
thegovernmentservice,butamnolonger.
Iwas
een
aspitefulofficial.
Iwasrude
en
andtookpleasureinbeingso.
Ididnot
nam
takebribes,yousee,soIwasboundto
vinden
findarecompenseinthat,atleast.
(Apoorjest,
maar
butIwillnotscratchitout.
I
schreef
wroteitthinkingitwould
klinken
soundverywitty;
butnow
dat
thatIhaveseenmyself
dat
thatIonlywantedtoshowoffin
een
adespicableway,Iwillnotscratchitoutonpurpose!)
Whenpetitionersusedto
kwamen
comeforinformationtothetableatwhichI
zat
sat,Iusedtogrindmyteethat
hen
them,andfeltintenseenjoymentwhenIsucceededin
maken
makinganybodyunhappy.
Ialmostdidsucceed.
For
het
themostparttheywerealltimidpeople—of
natuurlijk
course,theywerepetitioners.
Butoftheuppishones
er
therewasoneofficerinparticularI
kon
couldnotendure.
Hesimplywouldnotbehumble,
en
andclankedhisswordin
een
adisgustingway.
Icarriedon
een
afeudwithhimforeighteenmonthsover
dat
thatsword.
AtlastIgotthebetterof
hem
him.
Heleftoffclankingit.
Dat
Thathappenedinmyyouth,though.
Maar
Butdoyouknow,gentlemen,whatwas
het
thechiefpointaboutmyspite?
Waarom
Why,thewholepoint,the
echte
realstingofitlayinthe
feit
factthatcontinually,eveninthe
moment
momentoftheacutestspleen,Iwasinwardlyconscious
met
withshamethatIwasnot
alleen
onlynotaspitefulbutnot
zelfs
evenanembitteredman,thatIwassimplyscaringsparrowsatrandom
en
andamusingmyselfbyit.
Imightfoamatthemouth,
maar
butbringmeadollto
spelen
playwith,givemeacupoftea
met
withsugarinit,andmaybeI
moet
shouldbeappeased.
Imight
zelfs
evenbegenuinelytouched,though
waarschijnlijk
probablyIshouldgrindmyteethatmyselfafterwards
en
andlieawakeatnightwithshameformonths
na
after.
Thatwasmyway.
Iwas
loog
lyingwhenIsaidjustnow
dat
thatIwasaspitefulofficial.
Iwas
loog
lyingfromspite.
Iwassimplyamusingmyself
met
withthepetitionersandwith
de
theofficer,andinrealityI
nooit
nevercouldbecomespiteful.
Iwasconscious
elk
everymomentinmyselfof
veel
many,verymanyelementsabsolutelyoppositeto
die
that.
Ifeltthempositivelyswarmingin
mij
me,theseoppositeelements.
I
wist
knewthattheyhadbeenswarminginmeallmy
leven
lifeandcravingsomeoutletfrom
mij
me,butIwouldnot
laten
letthem,wouldnotletthem,purposelywouldnot
laten
letthemcomeout.
TheytormentedmetillIwasashamed:
theydrovemetoconvulsionsand—sickened
me
me,atlast,howtheysickened
me
me!
Now,arenotyoufancying,gentlemen,
dat
thatIamexpressingremorsefor
iets
somethingnow,thatIam
vraag
askingyourforgivenessforsomething?
Iam
zeker
sureyouarefancyingthat...
However,IassureyouIdonot
schelen
careifyouare....
Itwasnot
alleen
onlythatIcouldnot
worden
becomespiteful,Ididnot
wist
knowhowtobecomeanything;
neitherspitefulnor
vriendelijke
kind,neitherarascalnoranhonest
man
man,neitheraheronoraninsect.
Nu
Now,Iamlivingoutmylifeinmycorner,tauntingmyself
met
withthespitefulanduselessconsolation
dat
thatanintelligentmancannot
worden
becomeanythingseriously,anditis
alleen
onlythefoolwhobecomesanything.
Ja
Yes,amaninthenineteenthcenturymust
en
andmorallyoughttobepre-eminently
een
acharacterlesscreature;
amanofcharacter,anactive
man
manispre-eminentlyalimitedcreature.
Dat
Thatismyconvictionoffortyyears.
Iamfortyyears
oud
oldnow,andyouknowfortyyearsis
een
awholelifetime;
youknowitisextremeoldage.
To
leven
livelongerthanfortyyearsis
slecht
badmanners,isvulgar,immoral.
Wie
Whodoeslivebeyondforty?
Antwoord
Answerthat,sincerelyandhonestlyI
zal
willtellyouwhodo:
fools
en
andworthlessfellows.
Itellall
oude
oldmenthattotheir
gezicht
face,allthesevenerableoldmen,allthesesilver-haired
en
andreverendseniors!
Itellthe
hele
wholeworldthattoits
gezicht
face!
Ihavearightto
zeggen
sayso,forIshallgoon
leven
livingtosixtymyself.
Toseventy!
Toeighty!
Blijf
Stay,letmetakebreath...
Youimagine
geen
nodoubt,gentlemen,thatI
wil
wanttoamuseyou.
Youaremistakeninthat,too.
Iambynomeanssuchamirthful
persoon
personasyouimagine,orasyoumayimagine;
however,irritatedby
al
allthisbabble(andI
voel
feelthatyouareirritated)youthinkfitto
vragen
askmewhoIam—thenmy
antwoord
answeris,Iamacollegiateassessor.
Iwasin
de
theservicethatImighthave
iets
somethingtoeat(andsolelyfor
die
thatreason),andwhenlast
jaar
yearadistantrelationleftmesixthousandroublesinhiswillIimmediatelyretiredfrom
de
theserviceandsettleddowninmycorner.
Iusedto
woonde
liveinthiscornerbefore,
maar
butnowIhavesettleddowninit.
My
kamer
roomisawretched,horridonein
de
theoutskirtsofthetown.
Myservantisan
oude
oldcountry-woman,ill-naturedfromstupidity,
en
and,moreover,thereisalwaysanastysmell
over
abouther.
Iamtold
dat
thatthePetersburgclimateis
slecht
badforme,andthat
met
withmysmallmeansitis
erg
veryexpensivetoliveinPetersburg.
I
weet
knowallthatbetterthan
al
allthesesageandexperiencedcounsellors
en
andmonitors....
ButIamremaininginPetersburg;
Iamnot
ga
goingawayfromPetersburg!
Iamnot
ga
goingawaybecause...
ech!
Why,itisabsolutelynomatterwhetherIamgoingawayornotgoingaway.
Maar
Butwhatcanadecent
man
manspeakofwithmostpleasure?
Antwoord
Answer:
Ofhimself.
II
I
wilt
wantnowtotellyou,gentlemen,whetheryoucareto
horen
hearitornot,whyI
kon
couldnotevenbecomeaninsect.
I
zeg
tellyousolemnly,thatI
heb
havemanytimestriedto
worden
becomeaninsect.
ButIwasnotequal
zelfs
eventothat.
Iswear,gentlemen,
dat
thattobetooconsciousis
een
anillness—arealthorough-goingillness.
Forman’severydayneeds,it
zou
wouldhavebeenquiteenoughto
hebben
havetheordinaryhumanconsciousness,thatis,
helft
halforaquarteroftheamountwhich
valt
fallstothelotofacultivatedmanofourunhappynineteenthcentury,especiallyonewhohasthefatalill-lucktoinhabitPetersburg,the
meest
mosttheoreticalandintentionaltownonthe
hele
wholeterrestrialglobe.
(Thereareintentional
en
andunintentionaltowns.)
Itwould
hebben
havebeenquiteenough,forinstance,to
hebben
havetheconsciousnessbywhich
alle
allso-calleddirectpersonsandmenofaction
leven
live.
IbetyouthinkIam
schrijf
writingallthisfromaffectation,tobewittyattheexpenseofmenofaction;
en
andwhatismore,thatfromill-bredaffectation,Iamclanking
een
aswordlikemyofficer.
Maar
But,gentlemen,whoevercanpridehimselfonhisdiseases
en
andevenswaggeroverthem?
Though,afterall,
iedereen
everyonedoesdothat;
peopledopridethemselvesontheirdiseases,
en
andIdo,maybe,
meer
morethananyone.
Wewillnotdispute
het
it;
mycontentionwasabsurd.
ButyetIamfirmlypersuaded
dat
thatagreatdealofconsciousness,
elke
everysortofconsciousness,infact,is
een
adisease.
Isticktothat.
Letusleave
dat
that,too,foraminute.
Zeg
Tellmethis:
whydoesit
gebeurt
happenthatatthevery,
ja
yes,attheverymomentswhenIam
meest
mostcapableoffeelingeveryrefinementofall
dat
thatis“sublimeandbeautiful,”astheyusedtosayatonetime,it
zou
would,asthoughofdesign,
gebeurt
happentomenotonlyto
voelen
feelbuttodosuchuglythings,
zulke
suchthat...
Well,inshort,actions
die
thatall,perhaps,commit;
butwhich,asthoughpurposely,occurredtomeat
het
theverytimewhenIwas
meest
mostconsciousthattheyoughtnottobecommitted.
The
meer
moreconsciousIwasofgoodness
en
andofallthatwas“sublime
en
andbeautiful,”themoredeeplyIsankintomymire
en
andthemorereadyIwastosinkinitaltogether.
Maar
Butthechiefpointwas
dat
thatallthiswas,asitwere,notaccidentalin
mij
me,butasthoughitwereboundtobeso.
Itwasasthoughitweremy
meest
mostnormalcondition,andnotintheleastdisease
of
ordepravity,sothatatlast
alle
alldesireinmetostruggle
tegen
againstthisdepravitypassed.
Itendedbymy
bijna
almostbelieving(perhapsactuallybelieving)
dat
thatthiswasperhapsmynormalcondition.
Maar
Butatfirst,inthebeginning,whatagoniesIenduredin
die
thatstruggle!
Ididnot
geloofde
believeitwasthesame
met
withotherpeople,andallmy
leven
lifeIhidthisfact
over
aboutmyselfasasecret.
Iwasashamed(even
nu
now,perhaps,Iamashamed):
Igottothe
punt
pointoffeelingasortofsecretabnormal,despicableenjoymentin
terugkeren
returninghometomycorneronsomedisgustingPetersburg
nacht
night,acutelyconsciousthatthat
dag
dayIhadcommittedaloathsomeaction
weer
again,thatwhatwasdone
kon
couldneverbeundone,andsecretly,inwardlygnawing,gnawingatmyselfforit,tearing
en
andconsumingmyselftillatlastthebitternessturnedinto
een
asortofshamefulaccursedsweetness,
en
andatlast—intopositiverealenjoyment!
Ja
Yes,intoenjoyment,intoenjoyment!
Iinsistuponthat.
I
heb
havespokenofthisbecauseIkeep
wil
wantingtoknowforafactwhether
andere
otherpeoplefeelsuchenjoyment?
I
zal
willexplain;
theenjoymentwas
gewoon
justfromthetoointenseconsciousnessofone’s
eigen
owndegradation;
itwasfrom
gevoel
feelingoneselfthatonehadreachedthe
laatste
lastbarrier,thatitwashorrible,
maar
butthatitcouldnotbeotherwise;
dat
thattherewasnoescapeforyou;
dat
thatyounevercouldbecome
een
adifferentman;
thateven
als
iftimeandfaithwerestillleftyouto
veranderen
changeintosomethingdifferentyou
zou
wouldmostlikelynotwishto
veranderen
change;
orifyoudid
willen
wishto,eventhenyou
zou
woulddonothing;
becauseperhapsinreality
er
therewasnothingforyouto
veranderen
changeinto.
Andtheworstofitwas,
en
andtherootofitall,thatitwasallinaccord
met
withthenormalfundamentallawsofover-acuteconsciousness,
en
andwiththeinertiathatwasthedirectresultofthoselaws,
en
andthatconsequentlyonewasnot
alleen
onlyunabletochangebut
kon
coulddoabsolutelynothing.
Thusit
zou
wouldfollow,astheresultofacuteconsciousness,
dat
thatoneisnottoblameinbeingascoundrel;
asthough
dat
thatwereanyconsolationto
de
thescoundreloncehehascometorealise
dat
thatheactuallyisascoundrel.
Maar
Butenough....
Ech,Ihavetalkeda
veel
lotofnonsense,butwhat
heb
haveIexplained?
Howisenjoymentinthistobeexplained?
Maar
ButIwillexplainit.
I
zal
willgettothebottomofit!
ThatiswhyI
heb
havetakenupmypen....
Ik
I,forinstance,haveagreatdealofamourpropre.
Iamassuspicious
en
andpronetotakeoffenceas
een
ahumpbackoradwarf.
Maar
ButuponmywordI
soms
sometimeshavehadmomentswhenifIhadhappenedtobeslappedinthe
gezicht
faceIshould,perhaps,havebeenpositivelygladofit.
I
zeg
say,inearnest,thatIshould
waarschijnlijk
probablyhavebeenabletodiscover
zelfs
eveninthatapeculiar
soort
sortofenjoyment—theenjoyment,of
natuurlijk
course,ofdespair;
butindespair
er
therearethemostintenseenjoyments,especially
als
whenoneisveryacutelyconsciousof
de
thehopelessnessofone’sposition.
En
Andwhenoneisslappedin
het
theface—whythentheconsciousnessofbeingrubbedintoapulp
zou
wouldpositivelyoverwhelmone.
Theworstofit
is
is,lookatitwhichway
men
onewill,itstillturnsout
dat
thatIwasalwaysthemosttoblamein
alles
everything.
Andwhatismosthumiliatingofall,toblamefor
geen
nofaultofmyown
maar
but,sotosay,throughthelawsofnature.
In
de
thefirstplace,toblame
omdat
becauseIamclevererthananyof
de
thepeoplesurroundingme.
(I
heb
havealwaysconsideredmyselfcleverer
dan
thananyofthepeoplesurrounding
me
me,andsometimes,wouldyou
geloven
believeit,havebeenpositivelyashamedofit.
Atanyrate,I
heb
haveallmylife,asitwere,turnedmyeyesaway
en
andnevercouldlookpeoplestraightinthe
gezicht
face.)
Toblame,finally,because
zelfs
evenifIhadhadmagnanimity,Ishould
alleen
onlyhavehadmoresufferingfromthesenseofitsuselessness.
Ishouldcertainly
hebben
haveneverbeenableto
doen
doanythingfrombeingmagnanimous—neithertoforgive,formyassailant
zou
wouldperhapshaveslappedmefrom
de
thelawsofnature,and
men
onecannotforgivethelawsofnature;
norto
vergeten
forget,forevenifitwereowingtothelawsofnature,itisinsultingallthesame.
Finally,
zelfs
evenifIhadwantedtobe
iets
anythingbutmagnanimous,haddesiredon
het
thecontrarytorevengemyselfonmyassailant,I
kunnen
couldnothaverevengedmyselfonanyonefor
iets
anythingbecauseIshouldcertainly
nooit
neverhavemadeupmymindto
doen
doanything,evenifIhadbeenable
te
to.
WhyshouldInot
had
havemadeupmymind?
III
Met
Withpeoplewhoknowhowtorevengethemselves
en
andtostandupforthemselvesingeneral,
hoe
howisitdone?
Why,
als
whentheyarepossessed,letussuppose,bythe
gevoel
feelingofrevenge,thenforthe
tijd
timethereisnothingelsebut
dat
thatfeelingleftintheir
hele
wholebeing.
Suchagentlemansimplydashesstraightforhisobject
als
likeaninfuriatedbullwithitshornsdown,
en
andnothingbutawall
zal
willstophim.
(Bytheway:
facing
de
thewall,suchgentlemen—thatis,
de
the“direct”personsandmenofaction—aregenuinelynonplussed.
Forthemawallisnotanevasion,asforus
mensen
peoplewhothinkandconsequently
doen
donothing;
itisnotan
excuus
excuseforturningaside,an
excuus
excuseforwhichweare
altijd
alwaysveryglad,thoughwescarcely
geloven
believeinitourselves,asarule.
Nee
No,theyarenonplussedin
alle
allsincerity.
Thewallhasforthem
iets
somethingtranquillising,morallysoothing,final—maybe
zelfs
evensomethingmysterious...
butof
de
thewalllater.)
Well,suchadirect
persoon
personIregardasthe
echte
realnormalman,ashistender
moeder
mothernaturewishedtoseehimwhenshegraciously
bracht
broughthimintobeingon
de
theearth.
Ienvysucha
man
mantillIamgreenin
het
theface.
Heisstupid.
Iamnotdisputing
dat
that,butperhapsthenormal
man
manshouldbestupid,howdoyou
weet
know?
Perhapsitisvery
mooi
beautiful,infact.
AndIamthe
meer
morepersuadedofthatsuspicion,ifone
kan
cancallitso,bythe
feit
factthatifyoutake,forinstance,theantithesisofthenormalman,that
is
is,themanofacuteconsciousness,whohas
gekomen
come,ofcourse,notoutofthelapofnature
maar
butoutofaretort(thisis
bijna
almostmysticism,gentlemen,butIsuspectthis,
te
too),thisretort-mademanis
soms
sometimessononplussedinthepresenceofhisantithesisthat
met
withallhisexaggeratedconsciousnesshegenuinely
denkt
thinksofhimselfasamouse
en
andnotaman.
It
kan
maybeanacutelyconsciousmouse,
maar
yetitisamouse,
terwijl
whiletheotherisa
man
man,andtherefore,etcaetera,etcaetera.
En
Andtheworstofit
is
is,hehimself,hisvery
eigen
ownself,looksonhimselfas
een
amouse;
nooneaskshimto
doen
doso;
andthatis
een
animportantpoint.
Nowletus
kijken
lookatthismouseinaction.
Laten
Letussuppose,forinstance,
dat
thatitfeelsinsulted,too
En
(anditalmostalwaysdoes
voelt
feelinsulted),andwantstorevengeitself,too.
Er
Theremayevenbeagreateraccumulationofspiteinit
dan
thaninl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
Thebase
en
andnastydesiretovent
die
thatspiteonitsassailantrankles
misschien
perhapsevenmorenastilyinit
dan
thaninl’hommedelanatureetdelavérité.
For
door
throughhisinnatestupiditythelatterlooksuponhisrevengeasjusticepure
en
andsimple;
whileinconsequenceofhisacuteconsciousness
de
themousedoesnotbelievein
de
thejusticeofit.
To
komen
comeatlasttothedeeditself,to
de
theveryactofrevenge.
Apartfrom
de
theonefundamentalnastinessthelucklessmousesucceedsincreatingarounditsomany
andere
othernastinessesintheformofdoubts
en
andquestions,addstotheone
vraag
questionsomanyunsettledquestionsthat
er
thereinevitablyworksuparoundita
soort
sortoffatalbrew,astinkingmess,madeupofitsdoubts,emotions,
en
andofthecontemptspatuponitby
de
thedirectmenofactionwho
staan
standsolemnlyaboutitasjudges
en
andarbitrators,laughingatittilltheirhealthysidesache.
Of
natuurlijk
coursetheonlythingleftforitistodismissall
dat
thatwithawaveofitspaw,
en
and,withasmileofassumedcontemptin
waarin
whichitdoesnotevenitself
geloven
believe,creepignominiouslyintoitsmouse-hole.
Daar
Thereinitsnasty,stinking,underground
thuis
homeourinsulted,crushedandridiculedmousepromptly
wordt
becomesabsorbedincold,malignant
en
and,aboveall,everlastingspite.
Forfortyyearstogetherit
zal
willrememberitsinjurydowntothesmallest,
meest
mostignominiousdetails,andevery
keer
timewilladd,ofitself,detailsstill
meer
moreignominious,spitefullyteasingandtormentingitself
met
withitsownimagination.
It
zal
willitselfbeashamedofitsimaginings,butyetit
zal
willrecallitall,it
zal
willgooverandover
elk
everydetail,itwillinventunheardofthings
tegen
againstitself,pretendingthatthosethings
kunnen
mighthappen,andwillforgive
niets
nothing.
Maybeitwillbegintorevengeitself,too,
maar
but,asitwere,piecemeal,intrivialways,from
achter
behindthestove,incognito,without
geloven
believingeitherinitsown
recht
righttovengeance,orinthesuccessofitsrevenge,knowing
dat
thatfromallitseffortsatrevengeit
zal
willsufferahundredtimes
meer
morethanheonwhomitrevengesitself,
terwijl
whilehe,Idaresay,willnot
eens
evenscratchhimself.
Onitsdeathbedit
zal
willrecallitallover
opnieuw
again,withinterestaccumulatedoveralltheyears
en
and...
Butitisjustinthat
koude
cold,abominablehalfdespair,halfbelief,inthatconsciousburyingoneself
levend
aliveforgriefintheunderworldforfortyyears,inthatacutelyrecognised
en
andyetpartlydoubtfulhopelessnessofone’sposition,inthat
hel
hellofunsatisfieddesiresturnedinward,inthatfeverofoscillations,ofresolutionsdeterminedforever
en
andrepentedofagaina
minuut
minutelater—thatthesavourofthatstrangeenjoymentofwhichI
heb
havespokenlies.
Itissosubtle,sodifficultofanalysis,thatpersonswhoare
een
alittlelimited,orevensimplypersonsofstrongnerves,
zullen
willnotunderstandasingleatomof
het
it.
“Possibly,”youwilladdonyour
eigen
ownaccountwithagrin,“people
zullen
willnotunderstanditeitherwhohaveneverreceivedaslapintheface,”
en
andinthatwayyou
zullen
willpolitelyhinttomethat
Ik
I,too,perhaps,havehadtheexperienceofaslapinthe
gezicht
faceinmylife,andsoI
spreek
speakasonewhoknows.
Ibet
dat
thatyouarethinkingthat.
Maar
Butsetyourmindsat
rust
rest,gentlemen,Ihavenotreceived
een
aslapintheface,thoughitisabsolutely
een
amatterofindifferencetomewhatyoumay
denkt
thinkaboutit.
Possibly,I
zelfs
evenregret,myself,thatI
heb
havegivensofewslapsin
het
thefaceduringmylife.
Maar
Butenough...
notanother
woord
wordonthatsubjectofsuchextremeinteresttoyou.
I
zal
willcontinuecalmlyconcerningpersons
met
withstrongnerveswhodonot
begrijpen
understandacertainrefinementofenjoyment.
Thoughincertaincircumstancesthesegentlemenbellowtheirloudestlikebulls,thoughthis,
laten
letussuppose,doesthemthegreatestcredit,
toch
yet,asIhavesaid
al
already,confrontedwiththeimpossibletheysubsideatonce.
Theimpossible
betekent
meansthestonewall!
Whatstonewall?
Why,of
natuurlijk
course,thelawsofnature,
de
thedeductionsofnaturalscience,mathematics.