THEAUTHOR’SPREFACE
Ofallkindsofsatire,thereis
ingen
nonesoentertaininganduniversallyimproving,asthatwhichisintroduced,asitwereoccasionally,inthecourseofaninteressant
interestingstory,whichbringseveryincidenthometolife,andbyrepresentingfamiliarscenesinanuncommonandamusingpointofview,investsthemwithallthegracesofnovelty,whilenatureisappealedtoineveryparticular.Thereadergratifieshiscuriosityinpursuingtheadventuresofapersoninwhosefavourheisprepossessed;
heespouseshiscause,hesympathiseswithhiminhisdistress,hisindignationisheatedagainsttheauthorsofhiscalamity:
thehumanepassionsareinflamed;
thecontrastbetweendejectedvirtueandinsultingviceappearswithgreateraggravation,andeveryimpressionhavinga
dobbelt
doubleforceontheimagination,thememoryretainsthecircumstance,andtheheartimprovesbytheexample.Theattentionisnot
træt
tiredwithabarecatalogueofcharacters,butagreeablydivertedwithallthevarietyofinvention;andthevicissitudesoflifeappearintheirpeculiarcircumstances,openinganample
felt
fieldforwitandhumour.Romance,no
tvivl
doubt,owesitsorigintoignorance,vanity,andsuperstition.Inthe
mørke
darkagesoftheWorld,whenamanhadrenderedhimselfberømt
famousforwisdomorvalour,hisfamilyandadherentsavailedthemselvesofhissuperiorqualities,magnifiedhisvirtues,andrepresentedhischaracterandpersonassacredandsupernatural.Thevulgareasilyswallowedthebait,imploredhisprotection,andyieldedthetributeofhomageandpraise,eventoadoration;
hisexploitswerehandeddowntoposteritywitha
tusind
thousandexaggerations;theywererepeatedasincitementstovirtue;
divinehonourswerepaid,andaltarserectedtohis
minde
memory,fortheencouragementofthosewhoattemptedtoimitatehisexample;andhencearosetheheathenmythology,whichisnootherthanacollectionofextravagantromances.
Aslearningadvanced,andgeniusreceivedcultivation,thesestorieswereembellishedwiththegracesofpoetry,thattheymightthebetterrecommendthemselvestotheattention;
theyweresunginpublic,atfestivals,fortheinstructionanddelightoftheaudience;
andrehearsedbeforebattle,asincentivestodeedsofglory.
Thustragedyandtheepicmusewere
født
born,and,intheprogressoftaste,arrivedatperfection.Itisno
underligt
wonderthattheancientscouldnotrelishafableinprose,aftertheyhadseensomanyremarkableeventscelebratedinversebytheirbestpoets;wethereforefindnoromanceamongthemduringtheeraoftheirexcellence,
medmindre
unlesstheCyropædiaofXenophonmaybesocalled;anditwasnottillartsandsciences
begyndte
begantoreviveaftertheirruptionofthebarbariansintoEurope,thatanythingofthiskindappeared.Butwhenthemindsofmenweredebauchedbytheimpositionofpriestcrafttothemostabsurdpitchofcredulity,theauthorsofromancearose,andlosingsightofprobability,filledtheirperformanceswiththemostmonstroushyperboles.
Iftheycouldnotequaltheancientpoetsinpointofgeniustheywereresolvedtoexceltheminfiction,andapplytothewonder,
snarere
ratherthanthejudgment,oftheirreaders.Accordingly,theybroughtnecromancytotheiraid,andinsteadof
støtte
supportingthecharacteroftheirheroesbydignityofsentimentandpraksis
practice,distinguishedthembytheirbodilystrength,activity,andextravaganceofbehaviour.Althoughnothingcouldbemoreludicrousandunnaturalthanthefigurestheydrew,theydidnotwantpatronsandadmirers;
andtheworldactually
begyndte
begantobeinfectedwiththeånd
spiritofknight-errantry,whenCervantes,byaninimitablestykke
pieceofridicule,reformedthesmag
tasteofmankind,representingchivalryintherightpointofview,andconvertingromancetopurposesfarmoreusefulandentertaining,bymakingitassumethesock,andpointoutthefolliesofordinarylife.ThesamemethodhasbeenpractisedbyotherSpanishandFrenchauthors,andby
ingen
nonemoresuccessfullythanbyMonsieurLeSage,who,inhisAdventuresofGilBlas,hasdescribedtheknaveryandfoiblesoflife,withinfinitehumourandsagacity.ThefollowingsheetsIhavemodelledonhisplan,takingmeliberty,
men
however,todifferfromhimintheexecution,whereIthoughthisparticularsituationswereuncommon,extravagant,orpeculiartothecountryinwhichthesceneislagt
laid.ThedisgracesofGilBlasare,forthemostpart,suchasratherexcitemirththancompassion;
hehimselflaughsatthem;
andhistransitionsfromdistresstohappiness,oratleastease,aresosudden,that
hverken
neitherthereaderhastimetopityhim,norhimselftobeacquaintedwithaffliction.Thisconduct,inmyopinion,notonlydeviatesfromprobability,butpreventsthatgenerousindignation,whichoughttoanimatethereaderagainstthesordidandviciousdispositionoftheworld.
Ihaveattemptedtorepresentmodestmeritstrugglingwitheverydifficultytowhichafriendlessorphanisexposed,fromhisownwantof
erfaring
experience,aswellasfromtheselfishness,envy,malice,andbaseindifferenceofmankind.Tosecureafavourableprepossession,Ihaveallowedhimtheadvantagesofbirthandeducation,whichintheseriesofhismisfortuneswill,Ihope,engagetheingenuousmorewarmlyinhisbehalf;
andthoughIforesee,thatsomepeoplewillbeoffendedatthemeanscenesinwhichheis
involveret
involved,Ipersuademyselfthatthejudiciouswillnotonlyperceivethenecessityofdescribingthosesituationstowhichhemustofcoursebeconfined,inhislave
lowestate,butalsofindentertainmentinviewingthosepartsoflife,wherethehumoursandpassionsareundisguisedbyaffectation,ceremony,oreducation;andthewhimsicalpeculiaritiesofdispositionappearasnaturehasimplantedthem.
ButIbelieveIneednottroublemyselfinvindicatinga
praksis
practiceauthorizedbythebestwritersinthisway,someofwhomIhavealreadynamed.Everyintelligentreaderwill,atfirstsight,perceiveIhavenotdeviatedfromnatureinthefacts,whicharealltrueinthemain,althoughthecircumstancesarealteredanddisguised,toavoid
personlig
personalsatire.ItnowremainstogivemyreasonsformakingthechiefpersonageofthisworkaNorthBriton,whicharechieflythese:
Icould,atasmallexpense,bestowonhimsucheducationasIthoughtthedignityofhisbirthandcharacterrequired,whichcouldnotpossiblybeobtainedinEngland,bysuchslendermeansasthenatureofmyplanwouldafford.
Inthenextplace,Icouldrepresentsimplicityofmannersinaremotepartofthekingdom,withmoreproprietythaninanyplacenearthecapital;
andlastly,thedispositionoftheScots,addictedtotravelling,justifiesmyconductinderivinganadventurerfromthatcountry.
APOLOGUE
Ayoungpainter,indulgingaveinofpleasantry,sketchedakindofconversation
stykke
piece,representingabear,anowl,amonkey,andanass;andtorenderitmorestriking,humorous,andmoral,distinguishedevery
figur
figurebysomeemblemofhumanlife.Bruinwasexhibitedinthegarbandattitudeofanold,toothless,drunkensoldier;
theowlpercheduponthehandleofacoffee-pot,withspectacleon
næsen
nose,seemedtocontemplateanewspaper;andtheass,ornamentedwitha
stor
hugetie-wig(which,however,couldnotconcealhislongears),satforhisbillede
picturetothemonkey,whoappearedwiththeimplementsofpainting.Thiswhimsical
gruppe
groupaffordedsomemirth,andmetwithgenerel
generalapprobation,untilsomemischievouswaghintedthatthewhole—wasalampoonuponthefriendsoftheperformer;aninsinuationwhichwasnosoonercirculatedthanthoseverypeoplewhoapplaudeditbefore
begyndte
begantobealarmed,andeventofancythemselvessignifiedbytheflere
severalfiguresofthepiece.Amongothers,aworthypersonageinyears,whohadservedinthe
hæren
armywithreputation,beingincensedattheformodede
supposedoutrage,repairedtothelodgingofthepainter,andfindinghimathome,“Harkye,Mr.Monkey,”saidhe,“Ihaveagoodmindtoconvinceyou,thatthoughthebearhaslosthisteeth,heretainshispaws,andthatheisnotsodrunkbuthecanperceiveyourimpertinence.”“Sblood!
sir,thattoothlessjawisad—nedscandalouslibel—butdon’tyou
forestil
imaginemesochopfallenasnottobeabletochewthecudofresentment.”Herehewasinterruptedbythearrivalofalearnedphysician,who,advancingtotheculpritwithfuryinhisaspect,exclaimed,“Supposetheaugmentationoftheass’searsshould
bevise
provethediminutionofthebaboon’s—nay,seeknottoprevaricate,for,bythebeardofAesculapius!thereisnotonehairinthisperiwigthatwillnotstandupinjudgmenttoconvicttheeofpersonalabuse.
Dobutobserve,
kaptajn
captain,howthispitifullittlefellowhascopiedtheverycurls—thecolour,indeed,isdifferent,butthentheformen
formandforetoparequitesimilar.”Whilehethusremonstratedinastrainofvociferation,avenerablesenatorentered,andwaddlinguptothedelinquent,“Jackanapes!”
criedhe,“IwillnowlettheeseeIcanreadsomethingelsethananewspaper,andthatwithoutthehelpofspectacles:
hereisyourownnoteofhand,sirrah,formoney,whichifIhadnotadvanced,youyourselfwouldhaveresembledanowl,innot
vover
daringtoshowyourfacebyday,youungratefulslanderousknave!”Invaintheastonishedpainterdeclaredthathehadnointentiontogiveoffence,ortocharacteriseparticularpersons:
theyaffirmedtheresemblancewastoopalpabletobeoverlooked;
theytaxedhimwithinsolence,malice,andingratitude;
andtheirclamoursbeingoverheardbythe
offentligheden
public,thecaptainwasabjørn
bear,thedoctoranass,andthesenatoranowl,tohisdyingday.Christianreader,Ibeseechthee,inthebowelsoftheLord,rememberthisexample“whilethouartemployedintheperusalofthefollowingsheets;
andseeknottoappropriatetothyselfthatwhichequallybelongstofive
hundrede
hundreddifferentpeople.Ifthoushouldstmeetwithacharacterthatreflectstheeinsomeungraciousparticular,keepthyowncounsel;
CHAPTERI
OfmyBirthandParentage.
Iwas
født
borninthenorthernpartofthisunitedkingdom,inthehouseofmygrandfather,agentlemanofconsiderablefortuneandinfluence,whohadonmanyoccasionssignalisedhimselfinbehalfofhiscountry;andwasremarkableforhisabilitiesinthelaw,whichheexercisedwithgreatsuccessinthestationofa
dommer
judge,particularlyagainstbeggars,forwhomhehadasingularaversion.Myfather(hisyoungestson)fallinginlovewithapoorrelation,wholivedwiththeoldgentlemaninqualityofahousekeeper,espousedherprivately;
andIwasthefirstfruitofthat
ægteskab
marriage.Duringherpregnancy,adreamdiscomposedmymothersomuchthatherhusband,
træt
tiredwithherimportunity,atlastconsultedahighlandseer,hvis
whosefavourableinterpretationhewouldhavesecuredbeforehandbyabribe,butfoundhimincorruptible.Shedreamedshewasdeliveredofatennis-ball,whichthedevil(who,tohergreat
overraskelse
surprise,actedthepartofamidwife)strucksoforciblywitharacketthatitdisappearedinaninstant;andshewasforsometimeinconsolableforthelostofheroffspring;
when,allonasudden,shebehelditreturnwithequalviolence,andentertheearth,beneathher
fødder
feet,whenceimmediatelysprangupagoodlytræ
treecoveredwithblossoms,thescentofwhichoperatedsostronglyonhernervesthatsheawoke.Theattentivesage,aftersomedeliberation,assuredmyparents,thattheirfirstbornwouldbeagreattraveller;
thathewouldundergomanydangersanddifficulties,andatlastreturntohisnativeland,wherehewouldflourishinhappinessandreputation.
Howtrulythiswasforetoldwillappearinthesequel.
Itwasnotlongbeforesomeofficiouspersoninformedmygrandfatherof
visse
certainfamiliaritiesthatpassedbetweenhissonandhousekeeperwhichalarmedhimsomuchthat,afewdaysafter,hetoldmyfatheritwashightimeforhimtothinkofsettling;andthathehadprovideda
kamp
matchforhim,towhichhecouldinjusticehavenoobjections.Myfather,findingitwouldbe
umuligt
impossibletoconcealhissituationmuchlonger,franklyownedwhathehaddone;andexcusedhimselffornothavingaskedtheconsentofhisfather,bysaying,heknewitwouldhavebeentonopurpose;
andthat,hadhisinclinationbeenknown,mygrandfathermighthavetakensuchmeasuresaswouldhaveeffectuallyputthegratificationofitoutofhispower:
headded,thatnoexceptionscouldbetakentohiswife’svirtue,birth,
skønhed
beauty,andgoodsense,andasforfortune,itwasbeneathhiscare.Theoldgentleman,whokeptallhispassions,
undtagen
exceptone,inexcellentorder,heardhimtoanendwithgreattemper,andthencalmlyasked,howheproposedtomaintainhimselfandspouse?Hereplied,hecouldbeinnodangerofwantingwhilehisfather’stendernessremained,whichheandhiswifeshouldalwayscultivatewiththeutmostveneration;
andhewaspersuadedhisallowancewouldbesuitabletothedignityandcircumstancesofhisfamily,andtotheprovisionalreadymadeforhisbrothersandsisters,whowerehappilysettledunderhisprotection.
“Yourbrothersandsisters,”saidmygrandfather,“didnotthinkitbeneaththemtoconsultmeinanaffairofsuchimportanceasmatrimony;
neither,I
formoder
suppose,wouldyouhaveomittedthatpieceofpligt
duty,hadyounotsomehemmelig
secretfundinreserve;tothecomfortsofwhichIleaveyou,withadesirethatyouwillthisnightseekoutanotherhabitationforyourselfandwife,whither,ina
kort
shorttime,IwillsendyouanaccountoftheexpenseIhavebeenatinyoureducation,withaviewofbeingreimbursed.Sir,youhavemadethegrandtour—youareapolitegentleman—averyprettygentleman—Iwishyouagreatdealofjoy,andamyourveryhumbleservant.”
Sosaying,heleftmyfatherina
situation
situationeasilyimagined.However,hedidnotlonghesitate;
for,beingperfectlywellacquaintedwithhisfather’sdisposition,hedidnot
tvivlede
doubtthathewasgladofthispretencetogetridofhim;andhisresolvesbeingasinvariableasthelawsoftheMedesandPersians,heknewitwouldbetonopurposetoattempthimbyprayersandentreaties;
sowithoutanyfartherapplication,hebetookhimself,withhisdisconsolatebedfellowtoafarm-house,whereanoldservantofhismotherdwelt:
theretheyremainedsometimeina
situation
situationbutilladaptedtotheeleganceoftheirdesiresandtendernessoftheirlove;whichneverthelessmyfatherchosetoendure,ratherthansupplicateanunnaturalandinflexibleparentbutmymother,foreseeingtheinconveniencestowhichshemusthavebeenexposed,hadshebeendeliveredinthisplace(andherpregnancywasveryfaradvanced),withoutcommunicatingherdesigntoherhusband,wentindisguisetothehouseofmygrandfather,hopingthathertearsandconditionwouldmovehimtocompassion,andreconcilehimtoaneventwhichwasnowirrecoverablypast.
Shefoundmeanstodeceivetheservants,andgetintroducedasanunfortunatelady,whowantedtocomplainofsomematrimonialgrievances,itbeingmygrandfather’sparticularprovinceto
beslutte
decideinallcasesofscandal.Shewasaccordinglyadmittedintohispresence,where,discoveringherself,shefellathis
fødder
feet,andinthemostaffectingmannerimploredhisforgiveness;atthesametimerepresentingthedangerthatthreatenednotonlyherlife,butthatofhisowngrandchild,whichwasabouttoseethelight.
Hetoldherhewassorrythattheindiscretionofherandhissonhadcompelledhimtomakeavow,whichputitoutofhispowertogivethemanyassistance;
thathehadalreadyimpartedhisthoughtsonthatsubjecttoherhusband,andwas
overrasket
surprisedthattheyshoulddisturbhisfred
peacewithanyfartherimportunity.Thissaid,heretired.
Theviolenceofmymother’safflictionhadsuchaneffectonherconstitutionthatshewas
straks
immediatelyseizedwiththepainsofchildbed;andhadnotanoldmaidservant,towhomshewasverydear,affordedherpityandassistance,atthehazardofincurringmygrandfather’sdispleasure,sheandthe
uskyldige
innocentfruitofherwombmusthavefallenmiserablevictimstohisrigourandinhumanity.Bythefriendshipofthispoorwomanshewas
båret
carrieduptoagarret,andstraks
immediatelydeliveredofamanchild,thestoryofhvis
whoseunfortunatebirthhehimselfnowrelates.Myfather,beinginformedofwhathadhappened,
fløj
flewtotheembracesofhiselskede
darlingspouse,andwhileheloadedhisoffspringwithpaternalembraces,couldnotforbearsheddingafloodoftearsonbeholdingthedearpartner
partnerofhisheart(forhvis
whoseeasehewouldhavesacrificedthetreasuresoftheeast)stretcheduponaflockbed,inamiserablelejlighed
apartment,unabletoprotectherfromtheinclemenciesoftheweather.Itisnottobesupposedthattheoldgentlemanwasignorantofwhatpassed,thoughheaffectedtoknownothingofthematter,andpretendedtobeverymuch
overrasket
surprised,whenoneofhisgrandchildren,byhiseldestsondeceased,wholivedwithhimashisheirapparent,acquaintedhimwiththeaffair;hedeterminedthereforetoobservenomedium,but
straks
immediately(onthethirddayafterherdelivery)sentheraperemptoryordertobegone,andturnedofftheservantwhohadpreservedherlife.Thisbehavioursoexasperatedmyfatherthathehadrecoursetothemostdreadfulimprecations;
andonhisbarekneesimploredthat
Himlen
Heavenwouldrenouncehimifeverheshouldforgetortilgive
forgivethebarbarityofhissire.Theinjurieswhichthisunhappymotherreceivedfromherremovalinsuchcircumstances,andthewantofnecessarieswhereshelodged,togetherwithhergriefandanxietyofmind,soon
kastede
threwherintoalanguishingdisorder,whichputanendtoherlife.Myfather,wholovedhertenderly,wassoaffectedwithherdeaththatheremainedsixweeksdeprivedofhissenses;
duringwhichtime,thepeoplewherehelodgedcarriedtheinfanttotheoldmanwhorelentedsofar,onhearingthemelancholystoryofhisdaughter-in-law’sdeath,andthedeplorableconditionofhisson,astosendthechildtonurse,andheorderedmyfathertobecarriedhometohishouse,wherehesoonrecoveredtheuseofhisreason.
Om
Whetherthishardheartedjudgefeltanyremorseforhiscrueltreatmentofhissonanddaughter,or(whichismoreprobable)wasafraidhischaracterwouldsufferintheneighbourhood,heprofessedgreatsorrowforhisconducttomyfather,hvis
whosedeliriumwassucceededbyaprofoundmelancholyandreserve.Atlengthhedisappeared,and,notwithstandingallimaginableinquiry,couldnotbeheardof;
acircumstancewhichconfirmedmostpeopleintheopinionofhishavingmadeawaywithhimselfinafitofdespair.
CHAPTERII
I
vokser
growup—amhatedbymyRelations—senttoSchool—neglectedbymyGrandfather—maltreatedbymyMaster—seasonedtoAdversity—Idanner
formCabalsagainstthePedant—amdebarredAccesstomyGrandfather—huntedbyhisHeir—IdemolishtheTeethofhisTutor.Therewerenotwantingsomewhosuspectedmyunclesofbeingconcernedinmyfather’sfate,onthesuppositionthattheywouldall
dele
shareinthepatrimonydestinedforhim;andthisconjecturewasstrengthenedbyreflectingthatinallhiscalamitiestheyneverdiscoveredtheleastinclinationtoservehim;
but,onthecontrary,byalltheartificesintheirpower,fedhisresentmentand
støttet
supportedhisresolutionofleavinghimtomiseryandwant.Butpeopleofjudgment
behandlede
treatedthisinsinuationasanidlechimera;because,hadmyrelationsbeensowickedastoconsulttheir
interesser
interestbycommittingsuchanatrociousforbrydelse
crime,thefateofmyfatherwouldhaveextendedtometoohvis
whoselifewasanotherobstacletotheirexpectation.Meanwhile,I
voksede
grewapace,andasIstronglyresembledmyfather,whowastheelskede
darlingofthetenants,Iwantednothingwhichtheirindigentcircumstancescouldafford:buttheirfavourwasaweakresourceagainstthejealousenmityofmycousins;
whothemoremyinfancypromised,conceivedthemoreimplacablehatredagainstme:
andbeforeIwassixyearsofage,hadsoeffectuallyblockadedmygrandfatherthatIneversawhimbutbystealth,whenIsometimesmadeuptohischairashesattoviewhislabourersinthe
marken
field:onwhichoccasionhewouldstrokemyhead,bidmebeagoodboy,andpromisetotakecareofme.
Iwassoonaftersenttoschoolata
landsby
villagehardby,ofwhichhehadbeendictatortimeoutofmind;butasheneverpaidformyboard,
eller
norsuppliedmewithclothes,books,andothernecessariesIrequired,myconditionwasveryraggedandcontemptible,andtheschoolmaster,who,throughfrygt
fearofmygrandfather,taughtmegratis,gavehimselfnoconcernabouttheprogressImadeunderhisinstruction.Inspiteofallthesedifficultiesanddisgraces,IbecameagoodproficientintheLatintongue;
and,assoonasIcouldwritetolerably,pesteredmygrandfatherwithletterstosuchadegreethathesentformymaster,andchidhimseverelyforbestowingsuchpainsonmyeducation,tellinghimthat,ifeverIshouldbebroughttothegallowsforforgery,whichhehadtaughtmetocommit,mybloodwouldlieonhishead.
Thepedant,whodreadednothingmorethanthedispleasureofhispatron,assuredhishonourthattheboy’sabilitywasmoreowingtohisowngeniusandapplicationthantoanyinstructionorencouragementhereceived;
that,althoughhecouldnotdivesthimoftheknowledgehehadalreadyimbibed,
medmindre
unlesshewouldempowerhimtodisablehisfingers,heshouldendeavour,withGod’shelp,topreventhisfremtidige
futureimprovement.And,indeed,hepunctuallyperformedwhathehadundertaken;
for,onpretencethatIhadwrittenimpertinentletterstomygrandfather,hecausedaboardtobemadewithfiveholesinit,throughwhichhethrustthefingersandthumbofmyrighthand,andfasteneditbywhipcordtomywrist,insuchamanneraseffectuallydebarredmetheuseofmypen.
ButthisrestraintIwasfreedfrominafewdays,byan
ulykke
accidentwhichhappenedinaquarrelbetweenmeandanotherboy;who,takinguponhimtoinsultmypoverty,Iwassoincensedathisungenerousreproachthatwithonestrokewithmy
maskine
machineIcuthimtotheskull,tothegreatterrorofmyselfandschoolfellows,wholefthimbleedingonthejorden
ground,andrantoinformthemasterofwhathadhappened.Iwassoseverelypunishedforthistrespassthat,wereItolivetothe
alder
ageofMethusalem,theimpressionitmadeonmewouldnotbeeffaced;themorethantheantipathyandhorrorIconceivedforthemercilesstyrantwhoinflictedit.
Thecontemptwhichmyappearancenaturallyproducedinallwhosawme,thecontinualwantstowhichIwasexposed,andmyownhaughtydisposition,impatientofaffronts,involvedmeinathousandtroublesomeadventures,bywhichIwasatlengthinuredinadversity,andemboldenedtoundertakingsfar
over
abovemyyears.Iwas
ofte
ofteninhumanlyscourgedforcrimesIdidnotcommit,because,havingthecharacterofavagabondinthevillage,everystykke
pieceofmischief,whoseauthorlayunknown,wasopkrævet
chargeduponme.IhavebeenfoundguiltyofrobbingorchardsIneverentered,ofkillingcatsIneverhunted,of
stjæle
stealinggingerbreadInevertouched,andofabusingoldwomenIneversaw.Nay,astammeringcarpenterhadeloquenceenoughtopersuademymasterthatIfiredapistolloadedwithsmallshotintohis
vindue
window;thoughmylandladyandthewholefamilyborewitnessthatIwasabedfast
sov
asleepatthetimewhenthisoutragewascommitted.Iwasoncefloggedforhavingnarrowlyescapeddrowning,bythesinkingofaferryboatinwhichIwaspassenger.
Anothertime,forhavingrecoveredofabruiseoccasionedbya
hest
horseandcartrunningoverme.A
tredje
thirdtime,forbeingbittenbyabaker’sdog.Inshort,
om
whetherIwasguiltyorunfortunate,thecorrectionandsympathyofthisarbitrarypedagoguewerethesame.Farfrombeingsubduedbythisinformalusage,myindignationtriumphedoverthatslavishawewhichhadhithertoenforcedmyobedience;
andthemoremyyearsandknowledgeincreased,themoreIperceivedtheinjusticeandbarbarityofhisbehaviour.
Bythehelpofanuncommongenius,andtheadviceanddirectionofourusher,whohadservedmyfatherinhistravels,Imadeasurprisingprogressintheclassics,writing,andarithmetic;
sothat,beforeIwastwelveyearsold,Iwasallowedbyeverybodytobethebestscholarintheschool.
Thisqualification,togetherwiththeboldnessoftemperandstrengthofmakewhichhadsubjectedalmostallmycontemporaries,gavemesuchinfluenceoverthemthatI
begyndte
begantoformcabalsagainstmypersecutor;andwasinhopeof,beingabletobidhimdefianceinavery
kort
shorttime.Beingattheheadofafaction,consistingofthirtyboys,mostofthemofmyown
alder
age,Iwasdeterminedtoputtheirmettletotrial,thatImightknowhowfartheyweretobedependedupon,beforeIputmygrandschemeinexecution:withthisview,we
angreb
attackedabodyofstoutapprentices,whohadtakenpossessionofapartofthejorden
groundallottedtousfortheschemeofourdiversions,andwhowerethenplayingatninepinsonthestedet
spot;butIhadthemortificationtoseemyadherentsroutedinaninstant,anda
ben
legofoneofthembrokeinhisflugt
flightbythebowl,whichoneofouradversarieshaddetachedinpursuitofus.Thisdiscomfituredidnothinderusfromengagingthemafterwardsinfrequentskirmishes,whichwemaintainedby
kaste
throwingstonesatadistance,whereinIreceivedmanywounds,thescarsofwhichstillremain.Ourenemiesweresoharassedandinterruptedbythesealarmsthattheyatlastabandonedtheirconquest,andleftustothepeaceableenjoymentofourownterritories.
Itwouldbeendlesstoenumeratetheexploitsweperformedinthecourseofthisconfederacy,whichbecametheterrorofthewholevillage;
insomuchthat,whendifferentinterestsdividedit,oneofthepartiescommonlycourtedtheassistanceofRoderickRandom(bywhichnameIwasknown)tocastthebalance,andkeeptheoppositefactioninawe.
Meanwhile,Itooktheadvantageofeveryplay-dayto
præsentere
presentmyselfbeforemygrandfather,towhomIseldomfoundaccess,byreasonofhisbeingcloselybesiegedbyanumerousfamilyofhisfemalegrandchildren,who,thoughtheyperpetuallyquarrelledamongthemselves,neverfailedtoslutte sig
joinagainstme,asthecommonfjende
enemyofall.Hisheir,whowasabouttheageofeighteen,mindednothingbutfox-hunting,andindeedwasqualifiedfornothingelse,notwithstandinghisgrandfather’sindulgenceinentertainingatutorforhimathome;
whoatthesametimeperformedtheofficeofparishclerk.
ThisyoungActaeon,whoinheritedhisgrandfather’santipathytoeverythingindistress,neversateyesonmewithoutuncouplinghisbeagles,andhuntingmeintosomecottageorother,whitherIgenerallyfledforshelter.
InthisChristianamusementhewasencouragedbyhispreceptor,who,no
tvivl
doubt,tooksuchopportunitiestoingratiatehimselfwiththerisingsol
sun,observing,thattheoldgentleman,overensstemmelse
accordingtothecourseofnature,hadnotlongtolive,forhewasalreadyonthevergeoffourscore.CHAPTERIII
MyMother’sBrotherarrives—relievesme—aDescriptionofhim—hegoesalongwithmetotheHouseofmyGrandfather—isencounteredbyhisDogs—defeatsthem,aftera
blodig
bloodyEngagement—isadmittedtotheoldGentleman—aDialoguebetweenthem.Aboutthistimemymother’sonlybrother,whohadbeenlongabroad,lieutenantofaman-of-war,arrivedinhisowncountry;
wherebeinginformedofmycondition,hecametoseeme,andoutofhisslenderfinancesnotonlysuppliedmewithwhatnecessariesIwantedforthepresent,butresolvednottoleavethecountryuntilhehadprevailedonmygrandfathertosettlesomethinghandsomeforthe
fremtiden
future.Thiswasatasktowhichhewasbynomeansequal,beingentirelyignorant,notonlyofthejudge’sdisposition,butalsoofthewaysofmeningeneral,towhichhiseducationon
bord
boardhadkepthimanutterstranger.Hewasa
stærk
strongbuiltman,somewhatbandylegged,withahals
necklikethatofabull,andafacewhich(youmighteasilyperceive)hadwithstoodthemostobstinateassaultsoftheweather.His
kjole
dressconsistedofasoldier’scoatalteredforhimbytheship’stailor,astripedflanneljacket,apairofredbreechesspannedwithpitch,rene
cleangrayworstedstockings,largesilverbucklesthatdækkede
coveredthree-fourthsofhisshoes,asilver-lacedhat,hvis
whosecrownoverlookedthebrimsaboutaninchandahalf,blackbobwiginbuckle,acheckskjorte
shirt,asilkhandkerchief,ahanger,withabrasshandle,girdedtohisthighbyafurnishedlacebelt,andagoodoakplantunderhisarmen
arm.Thusequipped,hesetoutwithme(whobyhisbountymadeaverydecentappearance)formygrandfather’shouse,whereweweresalutedbyJowlerandCaesar,whommy
fætter
cousin,youngmaster,hadletlooseatourapproach.Beingwellacquaintedwiththeinveteracyofthesecurs,Iwasabouttobetakemyselftomyheels,whenmyuncleseizedmewithonehand,brandishedhiscudgelwiththeother,andatone
slag
blowlaidCaesarsprawlingonthejorden
ground;but,findinghimselfattackedatthesametimeintherearbyJowler,and
frygtede
fearingCaesarmightrecover,hedrewhishanger,wheeledabout,andbyaluckystrokeseveredJowler’sheadfromhisbody.Bythistime,theyoungfoxhunterandthreeservants,
bevæbnet
armedwithpitchforksandflails,werecometotheassistanceofthedogs,whomtheyfoundbreathlessuponthemarken
field;andmycousinwassoprovokedatthedeathofhisfavourites,thatheorderedhisattendantstoadvance,andtakevengeanceontheirexecutioner,whomheloadedwithallthecursesandreproacheshisangercouldsuggest.
Uponwhichmyuncle
trådte
steppedforwardswithanundauntedair,atthesightofhvis
whosebloodyweaponshisantagonistsfellbackwithprecipitation,whenheaccostedtheirleaderthus:.“Lookee,brother,yourdogshavingboardedmewithoutprovocation,whatIdidwasinmyowndefence.
Soyouhadbestbecivil,andletusshootahead,clearofyou.”
Om
Whethertheyoungsquiremisinterpretedmyuncle’sdesireoffred
peace,orwasenragedatthefateofhishoundsbeyondhisusualpitchofresolution,Iknownot;buthesnatchedaflailfromoneofhisfollowers,andcameupwithashowofassaultingthelieutenant,who,puttinghimselfinapostureofdefence,proceededthus:
“Lookee,youlubberlysonofaw—e,ifyoucomeathwartme,’wareyourgingerbreadwork.
I’llbefoulofyourquarter,d—nme.”
Thisdeclaration,followedbyaflourishofhishanger,seemedtochecktheprogressoftheyounggentleman’scholer,who,lookingbehindhim,perceivedhisattendantshadslunkintothehouse,shutthegate,andlefthimto
afgøre
decidethecontentionbyhimself.Hereaparleyensued,whichwasintroducedbymycousin’sasking,“Whothedevilareyou?
Whatdoyouwant?
Somescoundrelofaseaman,I
formoder
suppose,whohasdesertedandturnedthief.Butdon’tthinkyoushall
undslippe
escape,sirrah—I’llhaveyouhang’d,youdog,Iwill.Yourbloodshallpayforthatofmytwohounds,youragamuffin.
Iwouldnothavepartedwiththemtosaveyourwholegenerationfromthegallows,youruffian,you!”
“Noneofyourjaw,youswab—noneofyourjaw,”repliedmyuncle,“elseIshalltrimyourlacedjacketforyou.
Ishallrubyoudownwithanoakentowel,myboy,Ishall.”
Sosaying,hesheathedhishanger,andgraspedhiscudgel.