CHAPTERI
IfithadnotrainedonacertainMaymorningValancyStirling’s
celý
wholelifewouldhavebeenzcela
entirelydifferent.Shewouldhavegone,withtherestofherclan,to
Tety
AuntWellington’sengagementpicnicandDr.TrentwouldhavegonetoMontreal.Ale
Butitdidrainandyoushallhearwhathappenedtoherbecauseofit.Valancywakened
brzy
early,inthelifeless,hopelesshourjustprecedingdawn.Shehadnotsleptvery
dobře
well.Onedoesnotsleep
dobře
well,sometimes,whenoneistwenty-nineonthemorrow,a
andunmarried,inacommunitya
andconnectionwheretheunmarriedarejednoduše
simplythosewhohavefailedtozískat
getaman.DeerwoodandtheStirlingshadlongsincerelegatedValancytohopelessoldmaidenhood.
Ale
ButValancyherselfhadneverzcela
quiterelinquishedacertainpitiful,shamed,malé
littlehopethatRomancewouldcomehercestu
wayyet—never,untilthiswet,horriblemorning,když
whenshewakenedtothefactže
thatshewastwenty-nineandunsoughtbyanymuž
man.Ay,therelaythesting.
Valancydidnotmindsomuchbeingan
stará
oldmaid.Afterall,shethought,beingan
starou
oldmaidcouldn’tpossiblybeasdreadfulasbeingvdaná
marriedtoanUncleWellingtonnebo
oranUncleBenjamin,ordokonce
evenanUncleHerbert.Whathurtherwas
že
thatshehadneverhadašanci
chancetobeanythingbutanstarou
oldmaid.Nomanhadeverdesired
ji
her.Thetearscameintohereyesasshelay
tam
therealoneinthefaintlygreyingdarkness.Shedarednot
nechat
letherselfcryashardasshewantedto,fordvou
tworeasons.Shewasafraid
že
thatcryingmightbringondalší
anotherattackofthatpainkolem
aroundtheheart.Shehadhada
kouzlo
spellofitaftershehadgotintobed—ratherhorší
worsethananyshehadhaddosud
yet.Andshewasafraidher
matka
motherwouldnoticeherredeyesatbreakfasta
andkeepatherwithminute,persistent,mosquito-likequestionsregardingthecausethereof.“Suppose,”thoughtValancy
s
withaghastlygrin,“Ianswereds
withtheplaintruth,‘Iamcryingprotože
becauseIcannotgetmarried.’Jak
HowhorrifiedMotherwouldbe—thoughsheisashamedkaždý
everydayofherlifeofherstarou
oldmaiddaughter.”Butof
samozřejmě
courseappearancesshouldbekeptup.“Itisnot,”Valancycouldhearhermother’sprim,dictatorialvoiceasserting,“itisnotmaidenlyto
myslet
thinkaboutmen.”Thethoughtofhermother’s
výraz
expressionmadeValancylaugh—forshehadasmysl
senseofhumournobodyinherclansuspected.For
které
thatmatter,therewereagoodmanythingsaboutValancykteré
thatnobodysuspected.Butherlaughterwas
velmi
verysuperficialandpresentlyshelaytam
there,ahuddled,futilelittlepostava
figure,listeningtotherainpouringdownvenku
outsideandwatching,withasickdistaste,thechill,mercilesssvětlo
lightcreepingintoherugly,sordidpokoj
room.Sheknewtheuglinessofthat
místnosti
roombyheart—knewitandhatedit.Theyellow-paintedfloor,
s
withonehideous,“hooked”rugbythepostele
bed,withagrotesque,“hooked”dogonit,vždycky
alwaysgrinningatherwhensheawoke;thefaded,dark-red
papír
paper;theceilingdiscolouredbyoldleaks
a
andcrossedbycracks;the
úzká
narrow,pinchedlittlewashstand;thebrown-paperlambrequin
s
withpurplerosesonit;thespotted
staré
oldlooking-glasswiththecrackpřes
acrossit,proppedupontheinadequatedressing-table;na
thejarofancientpotpourrimadebyhermatka
motherinhermythicalhoneymoon;theshell-covered
krabice
box,withoneburstcorner,whichSestřenice
CousinStickleshadmadeinherstejně
equallymythicalgirlhood;thebeadedpincushion
s
withhalfitsbeadfringegone;the
jedna
onestiff,yellowchair;thefaded
staré
oldmotto,“Gonebutnotforgotten,”workedincolouredyarnso
aboutGreat-grand-motherStirling’sgrimoldface;the
staré
oldphotographsofancientrelativeslongbanishedfromtheroomsdole
below.Therewereonlytwopictures
které
thatwerenotofrelatives.One,an
starý
oldchromoofapuppysittingonarainydoorstep.That
obrázek
picturealwaysmadeValancyunhappy.Thatforlorn
malý
littledogcrouchedonthedoorstepinthedrivingdešti
rain!Whydidn’tsomeoneopenthe
dveře
doorandlethimin?Theotherpicturewasafaded,passe-partoutedengravingofQueenLouisecomingdownastairway,
který
whichAuntWellingtonhadlavishlygivenheronhertenthnarozeniny
birthday.Fornineteenyearsshehadlookedatit
a
andhatedit,beautiful,smug,self-satisfiedQueenLouise.Ale
Butsheneverdareddestroyitnebo
orremoveit.Motherand
Bratranec
CousinStickleswouldhavebeenaghast,nebo
or,asValancyirreverentlyexpresseditinherthoughts,wouldhavehadafit.Každý
Everyroominthehousewasugly,ofsamozřejmě
course.Butdownstairsappearanceswerekeptupsomewhat.
Tam
Therewasnomoneyforroomsnikdo
nobodyeversaw.Valancysometimesfelt
že
thatshecouldhavedoneněco
somethingforherroomherself,i
evenwithoutmoney,ifshewerepermitted.Ale
Buthermotherhadnegativedkaždý
everytimidsuggestionandValancydidnotpersist.Valancy
nikdy
neverpersisted.Shewasafraidto.
Her
matka
mothercouldnotbrookopposition.Mrs.Stirlingwouldsulkfordaysifoffended,
s
withtheairsofaninsultedduchess.Theonly
věc
thingValancylikedaboutherroomwasže
thatshecouldbealonetam
thereatnighttocrypokud
ifshewantedto.But,afterall,whatdiditmatterifa
pokoj
room,whichyouusedfornothingexceptsleepinga
anddressingin,wereugly?Valancywas
nikdy
neverpermittedtostayaloneinherroomforjakýkoliv
anyotherpurpose.Peoplewhowantedtobe
sami
alone,soMrs.FrederickStirlinga
andCousinSticklesbelieved,couldpouze
onlywanttobealoneforsomesinisterúčel
purpose.ButherroomintheBlueCastlewas
všechno
everythingaroomshouldbe.Valancy,socowed
a
andsubduedandoverriddenandsnubbedinreálném
reallife,waswonttonechat
letherselfgorathersplendidlyinherday-dreams.Nikdo
NobodyintheStirlingclan,nebo
oritsramifications,suspectedthis,nejméně
leastofallhermothera
andCousinStickles.Theyneverknew
že
thatValancyhadtwohomes—theuglyredbrickboxofahome,onElmStreet
Street,andtheBlueCastleinSpain.ValancyhadlivedspirituallyintheBlueCastleeversinceshecouldremember.
Shehadbeena
velmi
verytinychildwhenshefoundherselfpossessedofit.Vždycky
Always,whensheshuthereyes,shecouldvidět
seeitplainly,withitsturretsa
andbannersonthepine-cladhorské
mountainheight,wrappedinitsfaint,modré
blueloveliness,againstthesunsetskiesofafaira
andunknownland.Everythingwonderful
a
andbeautifulwasinthatcastle.Jewels
které
thatqueensmighthaveworn;robesofmoonlight
a
andfire;couchesofroses
a
andgold;longflightsofshallowmarblesteps,
s
withgreat,whiteurns,ands
withslender,mist-cladmaidensgoingnahoru
upanddownthem;courts,marble-pillared,
kde
whereshimmeringfountainsfellandnightingalessangmezi
amongthemyrtles;hallsofmirrors
které
thatreflectedonlyhandsomeknightsa
andlovelywomen—herselftheloveliestofall,forwhosepohled
glancemendied.Allthatsupportedherthroughtheboredomofherdayswasthe
naděje
hopeofgoingonasnít
dreamspreeatnight.Most,
li
ifnotall,oftheStirlingswouldhavediedofhrůzy
horroriftheyhadknownhalfthethingsValancydidinherBlueCastle.Foronethingshehadquiteafewloversinit.
Oh,
jen
onlyoneatatime.One
kdo
whowooedherwithalltheromanticardourofthevěku
ageofchivalryandwonherpo
afterlongdevotionandmanydeedsofderring-do,a
andwasweddedtohers
withpompandcircumstanceinthevelké
great,banner-hungchapeloftheBlueHradu
Castle.Attwelve,thisloverwasafairladwithgoldencurls
a
andheavenlyblueeyes.Atfifteen,hewas
vysoký
tallanddarkandpale,ale
butstillnecessarilyhandsome.Attwenty,hewasascetic,dreamy,
duchovní
spiritual.Attwenty-five,hehadaclean-cutjaw,
mírně
slightlygrim,andafacestronga
andruggedratherthanhandsome.Valancy
nikdy
nevergrewolderthantwenty-fiveinherBlueCastle,ale
butrecently—veryrecently—herherohadhadreddish,tawnyvlasy
hair,atwistedsmileandamysteriouspast.Idon’tsayValancydeliberatelymurderedtheseloversassheoutgrew
nich
them.Onesimplyfadedawayasanothercame.
Thingsare
velmi
veryconvenientinthisrespectinBlueCastles.Ale
But,onthismorningofherdne
dayoffate,Valancycouldnotnajít
findthekeyofherBlueHradu
Castle.Realitypressedonher
příliš
toohardly,barkingatherheelsjako
likeamaddeninglittledog.Shewastwenty-nine,lonely,undesired,ill-favoured—theonlyhomely
dívka
girlinahandsomeclan,withnominulosti
pastandnofuture.Asfarasshecouldlook
zpět
back,lifewasdrabandcolourless,withnotonesinglecrimsonnebo
orpurplespotanywhere.Asfarasshecouldlook
dopředu
forwarditseemedcertaintobejustthestejné
sameuntilshewasnothingbutasolitary,malý
littlewitheredleafclingingtoawintrybough.The
okamžiku
momentwhenawomanrealisesže
thatshehasnothingtožít
livefor—neitherlove,duty,purposeani
norhope—holdsforherthebitternessofsmrti
death.“AndIjusthavetogoonliving
protože
becauseIcan’tstop.Imayhaveto
žít
liveeightyyears,”thoughtValancy,inakindofpanic.“We’re
všichni
allhorriblylong-lived.Itsickensmetothinkofit.”
Shewas
ráda
gladitwasraining—orrather,shewasdrearilysatisfiedže
thatitwasraining.Therewouldbe
žádný
nopicnicthatday.This
každoroční
annualpicnic,wherebyAuntandStrýc
UncleWellington—onealwaysthoughtoftheminthatsuccession—inevitablycelebratedtheirzasnoubení
engagementatapicnicthirtyyearspřed
before,hadbeen,oflateyears,averitablenightmaretoValancy.Byanimpishcoincidenceitwasthesame
den
dayasherbirthdayand,poté
aftershehadpassedtwenty-five,nikdo
nobodyletherforgetit.Muchasshehatedgoingtothepicnic,itwould
nikdy
neverhaveoccurredtohertorebelproti
againstit.Thereseemedtobe
nic
nothingoftherevolutionaryinherpovaze
nature.Andsheknewexactlywhateveryonewouldsaytoheratthepicnic.
Strýc
UncleWellington,whomshedislikeda
anddespisedeventhoughhehadfulfilledthehighestStirlingaspiration,“marryingmoney,”wouldsaytoherinapig’swhisper,“Notthinkingofgettingmarriedyet,mydear?”a
andthengooffintothebellowoflaughterwithwhichheinvariablyconcludedhisdullremarks.Teta
AuntWellington,ofwhomValancystoodinabjectawe,wouldtellhero
aboutOlive’snewchiffondressa
andCecil’slastdevotedletter.Valancywouldhaveto
vypadat
lookaspleasedandinterestedasifthešaty
dressandletterhadbeenhersorelseTeta
AuntWellingtonwouldbeoffended.A
AndValancyhadlongagodecidedže
thatshewouldratheroffendGodnež
thanAuntWellington,becauseGodmightodpustit
forgiveherbutAuntWellingtonnikdy
neverwould.AuntAlberta,enormouslyfat,
s
withanamiablehabitofvždy
alwaysreferringtoherhusbandas“he,”asifheweretheonlymalecreatureinthesvětě
world,whocouldneverforgetthatshehadbeenagreatkrása
beautyinheryouth,wouldcondoles
withValancyonhersallowkůži
skin—.“Idon’tknowwhy
všechny
allthegirlsoftodayaresosunburned.Když
WhenIwasagirlmykůži
skinwasrosesandcream.IwascountedtheprettiestgirlinCanada,mydear.”
Možná
PerhapsUncleHerbertwouldn’tsayanything—ormožná
perhapshewouldremarkjocularly,“Howfatyou’regetting,Doss!”A
Andtheneverybodywouldlaughnad
overtheexcessivelyhumorousideaofpoor,scrawnymalý
littleDossgettingfat.Handsome,solemn
Strýc
UncleJames,whomValancydislikedale
butrespectedbecausehewasreputedtobevelmi
verycleverandwasthereforetheclanoracle—brainsbeingnonepříliš
tooplentifulintheStirlingconnection—wouldpravděpodobně
probablyremarkwiththeowl-likesarcasmthathadwonhimhispověst
reputation,“Isupposeyou’rebusys
withyourhope-chestthesedays?”A
AndUncleBenjaminwouldaskněkteré
someofhisabominableconundrums,mezi
betweenwheezychuckles,andanswerthemhimself.“Whatisthe
rozdíl
differencebetweenDossandamouse?“The
myš
mousewishestoharmthecheesea
andDosswishestocharmthehe’s.”Valancyhadheardhimaskthatriddlefiftytimes
a
andeverytimeshewantedtohodit
throwsomethingathim.Butshe
nikdy
neverdid.Inthefirstplace,theStirlings
prostě
simplydidnotthrowthings;in
na
thesecondplace,UncleBenjaminwasawealthya
andchildlessoldwidowerandValancyhadbeenbroughtupinna
thefearandadmonitionofhispeněz
money.Ifsheoffendedhimhewouldcutheroutofhiswill—supposingshewereinit.
ValancydidnotwanttobecutoutofUncleBenjamin’swill.
Shehadbeenpoorallher
život
lifeandknewthegallingbitternessofto
it.Sosheenduredhisriddles
a
andevensmiledtorturedlittlesmilesoverně
them.AuntIsabel,downrightanddisagreeableasaneast
vítr
wind,wouldcriticiseherinsomeway—Valancycouldnotpředvídat
predictjusthow,forAuntIsabelnikdy
neverrepeatedacriticism—shefoundněco
somethingnewwithwhichtojabyoueverytime.Teta
AuntIsabelpridedherselfonsayingwhatshethought,ale
butdidn’tlikeitsowellkdyž
whenotherpeoplesaidwhattheythoughttoher.Valancy
nikdy
neversaidwhatshethought.Bratranec
CousinGeorgiana—namedafterhergreat-great-grand-mother,whohadbeennamedpo
afterGeorgetheFourth—wouldrecountdolorouslythenamesofallrelativesa
andfriendswhohaddiedod
sincethelastpicnicandwonder“whichofusbude
willbethefirsttogonext.”Oppressivelycompetent,
Teta
AuntMildredwouldtalkendlesslyofherhusbanda
andherodiousprodigiesofbabiestoValancy,protože
becauseValancywouldbethejediný
onlyoneshecouldfindtoputups
withit.Forthesamereason,
Sestřenice
CousinGladys—reallyFirstCousinGladysjednou
onceremoved,accordingtothestrictwayinkterá
whichtheStirlingstabulatedrelationship—atall,thindáma
ladywhoadmittedshehadasensitivedisposition,woulddescribeminutelythetorturesofherneuritis.A
AndOlive,thewondergirlofthewholeStirlingclan,whohadvšechno
everythingValancyhadnot—beauty,popularity,love,—wouldshowoffherkrásu
beautyandpresumeonherpopularitya
andflauntherdiamondinsigniaofloveinValancy’sdazzled,enviouseyes.Therewouldbe
nic
noneofallthistoday.A
Andtherewouldbenopackingupofteaspoons.Thepackingupwas
vždy
alwaysleftforValancyandCousinStickles.A
Andonce,sixyearsago,asilverteaspoonfromTety
AuntWellington’sweddingsethadbeenlost.Valancy
nikdy
neverheardthelastofthatsilverteaspoon.ItsghostappearedBanquo-likeat
každé
everysubsequentfamilyfeast.Oh,
ano
yes,Valancyknewexactlywhatthepicnicwouldbelikea
andsheblessedtherainkterá
thathadsavedherfromit.Therewouldbe
žádný
nopicnicthisyear.If
Teta
AuntWellingtoncouldnotcelebrateonthesacredden
dayitselfshewouldhavenocelebrationatall.Díky
Thankwhatevergodstherewereforthat.Since
tam
therewouldbenopicnic,Valancymadeuphermindže
that,iftherainheldupintheodpoledne
afternoon,shewouldgouptotheknihovny
libraryandgetanotherofJohnFoster’sbooks.Valancywas
nikdy
neverallowedtoreadnovels,ale
butJohnFoster’sbookswerenotnovels.Theywere“naturebooks”—sothelibrariantoldMrs.FrederickStirling—“all
o
aboutthewoodsandbirdsa
andbugsandthingslikethat,youknow.”SoValancywasallowedto
číst
readthem—underprotest,foritwasonlypříliš
tooevidentthatsheenjoyedthempříliš
toomuch.Itwaspermissible,
dokonce
evenlaudable,toreadtoimproveyourminda
andyourreligion,butakniha
bookthatwasenjoyablewasdangerous.Valancydidnotknow
zda
whetherhermindwasbeingimprovednebo
ornot;butshefeltvaguely
že
thatifshehadcomeacrossJohnFoster’sbooksyearslety
agolifemighthavebeenajiný
differentthingforher.Theyseemedtohertoyieldglimpsesofa
světa
worldintowhichshemightjednou
oncehaveentered,thoughthedveře
doorwasforeverbarredtohernyní
now.Itwasonlywithinthelast
roku
yearthatJohnFoster’sbookshadbeenintheDeerwoodlibrary,ačkoli
thoughthelibrariantoldValancyže
thathehadbeenawell-knownwriterforněkolik
severalyears.“Wheredoeshelive?”
Valancyhadasked.
“Nobodyknows.
Fromhisbookshe
musí
mustbeaCanadian,butžádné
nomoreinformationcanbehad.Hispublisherswon’tsaya
slovo
word.QuitelikelyJohnFosterisanomdeplume.
Hisbooksareso
populární
popularwecan’tkeeptheminatall,i když
thoughIreallycan’tseewhatlidé
peoplefindinthemtoraveover.”“Ithinkthey’rewonderful,”saidValancy,timidly.
“Oh—well—”
MissClarksonsmiledinapatronisingfashionthatrelegatedValancy’sopinionstolimbo,“Ican’t
říct
sayIcaremuchforbugsmyself.Ale
ButcertainlyFosterseemstovědět
knowallthereistovědět
knowaboutthem.”Valancydidn’tknowwhethershecared
moc
muchforbugseither.ItwasnotJohnFoster’suncanny
poznání
knowledgeofwildcreaturesandhmyzu
insectlifethatenthralledher.Shecould
sotva
hardlysaywhatitwas—sometantalisinglureofamysterynikdy
neverrevealed—somehintofagreatsecretjen
justalittlefurtheron—somefaint,elusiveechooflovely,forgottenthings—JohnFoster’skouzlo
magicwasindefinable.Yes,shewouldgetanewFosterbook.
Itwasa
měsíc
monthsinceshehadThistleHarvest,sourčitě
surelyMothercouldnotobject.Valancyhadreaditfourtimes—sheknew
celé
wholepassagesoffbyheart.And—she
málem
almostthoughtshewouldgoa
andseeDr.Trentaboutže
thatqueerpainaroundthesrdce
heart.Ithadcomerather
často
oftenlately,andthepalpitationswerebecomingannoying,nottospeakofanoccasionaldizzymomenta
andaqueershortnessofbreath.Ale
Butcouldshegotoseehimaniž by
withouttellinganyone?Itwasamostdaringthought.
Žádný
NoneoftheStirlingseverconsultedadoctoraniž by
withoutholdingafamilycouncila
andgettingUncleJames’approval.Then,theywenttoDr.AmbroseMarshof
Port
PortLawrence,whohadmarriedDruhou
SecondCousinAdelaideStirling.ButValancydislikedDr.AmbroseMarsh.
A
And,besides,shecouldnotdostat
gettoPortLawrence,fifteenmilesdaleko
away,withoutbeingtakenthere.Shedidnotwantanyonetoknow
o
aboutherheart.Therewouldbesuchafussmade
a
andeverymemberofthefamilywouldpřišel
comedownandtalkitovera
andadviseherandcautionhera
andwarnherandtellherhrozné
horribletalesofgreat-auntsandcousinsfortytimesremovedkteří
whohadbeen“justlikethat”a
and“droppeddeadwithoutamoment’svarování
warning,mydear.”AuntIsabelwouldrememberthatshehadalwayssaidDosslooked
jako
likeagirlwhowouldhavehearttrouble—“sopincheda
andpeakedalways”;andUncleWellingtonwouldtakeitasa
osobní
personalinsult,when“noStirlingeverhadsrdeční
heartdiseasebefore”;andGeorgianawouldforebodein
dokonale
perfectlyaudibleasidesthat“poor,drahý
dearlittleDossisn’tlongfortomto
thisworld,I’mafraid”;and
Sestřenice
CousinGladyswouldsay,“Why,mysrdce
hearthasbeenlikethatforyears,”inatónu
tonethatimpliednooneelsehadanybusinesseventomít
haveaheart;andOlive—Olivewouldmerelylookbeautiful
a
andsuperioranddisgustinglyhealthy,asiftosay,“WhyallthisfussoverafadedsuperfluitylikeDosskdyž
whenyouhaveme?”Valancyfelt
že
thatshecouldn’ttellanybodypokud
unlessshehadto.Shefelt
docela
quitesuretherewasnothingatallvážně
seriouslywrongwithherhearta
andnoneedofallthepotherthatwouldensuepokud
ifshementionedit.Shewould
prostě
justslipupquietlyandseeDr.Trentthatveryden
day.Asforhisbill,shehadthe
dvě
twohundreddollarsthatherotec
fatherhadputinthebanky
bankforherthedayshewasborn.Shewas
nikdy
neverallowedtouseeventheúroky
interestofthis,butshewouldsecretlytakeoutdost
enoughtopayDr.Trent.Dr.
Trentwasagruff,outspoken,absent-mindedoldfellow,
ale
buthewasarecognisedauthorityonheartonemocnění
disease,evenifhewerejen
onlyageneralpractitionerinout-of-the-worldDeerwood.Dr.Trentwas
přes
overseventyandtherehadbeenrumoursže
thathemeanttoretirebrzy
soon.NoneoftheStirlingclanhadevergonetohimsincehehadtold
Sestřenice
CousinGladys,tenyearsbefore,že
thatherneuritiswasallimaginarya
andthatsheenjoyedit.Youcouldn’tpatroniseadoctorwhoinsultedyourfirst-cousin-once-removedlikethat—nottomentionthathewasaPresbyterian
když
whenalltheStirlingswenttotheAnglicanchurch.Kapitola
CHAPTERIIWhenCousinSticklesknockedather
dveře
door,Valancyknewitwashalf-pastsedm
sevenandshemustgetup.Aslongasshecould
vzpomenout
remember,CousinStickleshadknockedatherdveře
doorathalf-pastseven.CousinStickles
a
andMrs.FrederickStirlinghadbeenupod
sinceseven,butValancywasallowedtoležet
lieabedhalfanhourlongerbecauseofafamilytraditionže
thatshewasdelicate.Valancygotup,
i když
thoughshehatedgettingupvíce
morethismorningthanevershehadbefore.