CHAPTERI
IfithadnotrainedonacertainMaymorningValancyStirling’s
celý
wholelifewouldhavebeenentirelyjiný
different.Shewouldhavegone,withtherestofherclan,toAuntWellington’sengagementpicnic
a
andDr.TrentwouldhavegonetoMontreal.Ale
Butitdidrainandyoushallhearwhathappenedtoherbecauseofit.Valancywakenedearly,inthelifeless,hopelesshourjustprecedingdawn.
Shehadnotsleptvery
dobře
well.Onedoesnotsleep
dobře
well,sometimes,whenoneistwenty-nineonthemorrow,a
andunmarried,inacommunitya
andconnectionwheretheunmarriedaresimplythosekteří
whohavefailedtogetaman.Deerwood
a
andtheStirlingshadlongsincerelegatedValancytohopelessoldmaidenhood.Ale
ButValancyherselfhadneverzcela
quiterelinquishedacertainpitiful,shamed,malé
littlehopethatRomancewouldcomehercestu
wayyet—never,untilthiswet,horriblemorning,když
whenshewakenedtothefactže
thatshewastwenty-nineandunsoughtbyanymuž
man.Ay,therelaythesting.
Valancydidnotmindsomuchbeingan
stará
oldmaid.Afterall,shethought,beingan
starou
oldmaidcouldn’tpossiblybeasdreadfulasbeingvdaná
marriedtoanUncleWellingtonnebo
oranUncleBenjamin,ordokonce
evenanUncleHerbert.Whathurtherwas
že
thatshehadneverhadašanci
chancetobeanythingbutanstarou
oldmaid.Nomanhadeverdesired
ji
her.Thetearscameintohereyesasshelay
tam
therealoneinthefaintlygreyingdarkness.Shedarednot
nechat
letherselfcryashardasshewantedto,fordvou
tworeasons.Shewasafraid
že
thatcryingmightbringondalší
anotherattackofthatpainkolem
aroundtheheart.Shehadhadaspellofit
po
aftershehadgotintobed—ratherworsenež
thananyshehadhaddosud
yet.Andshewasafraidher
matka
motherwouldnoticeherredeyesatbreakfasta
andkeepatherwithminute,persistent,mosquito-likequestionsregardingthecausethereof.“Suppose,”thoughtValancy
s
withaghastlygrin,“Ianswereds
withtheplaintruth,‘Iamcryingprotože
becauseIcannotgetmarried.’Jak
HowhorrifiedMotherwouldbe—thoughsheisashamedkaždý
everydayofherlifeofherstarou
oldmaiddaughter.”Butof
samozřejmě
courseappearancesshouldbekeptup.“Itisnot,”Valancycouldhearhermother’sprim,dictatorialvoiceasserting,“itisnotmaidenlyto
myslet
thinkaboutmen.”Thethoughtofhermother’sexpressionmadeValancylaugh—forshehadasenseofhumour
nikdo
nobodyinherclansuspected.For
které
thatmatter,therewereagoodmanythingsaboutValancykteré
thatnobodysuspected.Butherlaughterwas
velmi
verysuperficialandpresentlyshelaytam
there,ahuddled,futilelittlefigure,listeningtotherainpouringdownvenku
outsideandwatching,withasickdistaste,thechill,mercilesssvětlo
lightcreepingintoherugly,sordidpokoj
room.Sheknewtheuglinessofthat
místnosti
roombyheart—knewitandhatedit.Theyellow-paintedfloor,
s
withonehideous,“hooked”rugbythepostele
bed,withagrotesque,“hooked”dogonit,vždycky
alwaysgrinningatherwhensheawoke;thefaded,dark-redpaper;
theceilingdiscolouredbyoldleaks
a
andcrossedbycracks;thenarrow,pinched
malá
littlewashstand;thebrown-paperlambrequin
s
withpurplerosesonit;thespotted
staré
oldlooking-glasswiththecrackacrossit,proppedupontheinadequatedressing-table;na
thejarofancientpotpourrimadebyhermatka
motherinhermythicalhoneymoon;theshell-coveredbox,
s
withoneburstcorner,whichCousinStickleshadmadeinherequallymythicalgirlhood;thebeadedpincushion
s
withhalfitsbeadfringegone;the
jedna
onestiff,yellowchair;thefaded
staré
oldmotto,“Gonebutnotforgotten,”workedincolouredyarnso
aboutGreat-grand-motherStirling’sgrimoldface;the
staré
oldphotographsofancientrelativeslongbanishedfromtheroomsbelow.Tam
Therewereonlytwopictureskteré
thatwerenotofrelatives.One,an
starý
oldchromoofapuppysittingonarainydoorstep.Thatpicture
vždy
alwaysmadeValancyunhappy.Thatforlorn
malý
littledogcrouchedonthedoorstepinthedrivingrain!Proč
Whydidn’tsomeoneopenthedveře
doorandlethimin?Theotherpicturewasafaded,passe-partoutedengravingofQueenLouisecomingdownastairway,
který
whichAuntWellingtonhadlavishlygivenheronhertenthbirthday.Fornineteenyearsshehadlookedatit
a
andhatedit,beautiful,smug,self-satisfiedQueenLouise.Ale
Butsheneverdareddestroyitnebo
orremoveit.MotherandCousinStickleswouldhavebeenaghast,
nebo
or,asValancyirreverentlyexpresseditinherthoughts,wouldhavehadafit.Každý
Everyroominthehousewasugly,ofsamozřejmě
course.Butdownstairsappearanceswerekeptupsomewhat.
Tam
Therewasnomoneyforroomsnikdo
nobodyeversaw.Valancysometimesfelt
že
thatshecouldhavedoneněco
somethingforherroomherself,i
evenwithoutmoney,ifshewerepermitted.Ale
Buthermotherhadnegativedkaždý
everytimidsuggestionandValancydidnotpersist.Valancy
nikdy
neverpersisted.Shewasafraidto.
Her
matka
mothercouldnotbrookopposition.Mrs.Stirlingwouldsulkfordaysifoffended,
s
withtheairsofaninsultedduchess.Theonly
věc
thingValancylikedaboutherroomwasže
thatshecouldbealonetam
thereatnighttocrypokud
ifshewantedto.But,afterall,whatdiditmatterifa
pokoj
room,whichyouusedfornothingexceptsleepinga
anddressingin,wereugly?Valancywas
nikdy
neverpermittedtostayaloneinherroomforjakýkoliv
anyotherpurpose.Peoplewhowantedtobe
sami
alone,soMrs.FrederickStirlinga
andCousinSticklesbelieved,couldpouze
onlywanttobealoneforsomesinisterpurpose.Ale
ButherroomintheBlueCastlewasvšechno
everythingaroomshouldbe.Valancy,socowed
a
andsubduedandoverriddenandsnubbedinreálném
reallife,waswonttonechat
letherselfgorathersplendidlyinherday-dreams.Nikdo
NobodyintheStirlingclan,nebo
oritsramifications,suspectedthis,nejméně
leastofallhermothera
andCousinStickles.Theyneverknew
že
thatValancyhadtwohomes—theuglyredbrickboxofahome,onElmStreet
Street,andtheBlueCastleinSpain.ValancyhadlivedspirituallyintheBlueCastleeversinceshecouldremember.
Shehadbeena
velmi
verytinychildwhenshefoundherselfpossessedofit.Vždycky
Always,whensheshuthereyes,shecouldvidět
seeitplainly,withitsturretsa
andbannersonthepine-cladmountainheight,wrappedinitsfaint,blueloveliness,proti
againstthesunsetskiesofafaira
andunknownland.Everythingwonderful
a
andbeautifulwasinthatcastle.Jewels
které
thatqueensmighthaveworn;robesofmoonlight
a
andfire;couchesofroses
a
andgold;longflightsofshallowmarblesteps,
s
withgreat,whiteurns,ands
withslender,mist-cladmaidensgoingnahoru
upanddownthem;courts,marble-pillared,
kde
whereshimmeringfountainsfellandnightingalessangamongthemyrtles;hallsofmirrors
které
thatreflectedonlyhandsomeknightsa
andlovelywomen—herselftheloveliestofall,forwhoseglancemendied.All
že
thatsupportedherthroughtheboredomofherdayswasthenaděje
hopeofgoingonasnít
dreamspreeatnight.Most,
li
ifnotall,oftheStirlingswouldhavediedofhorrorli
iftheyhadknownhalfthethingsValancydidinherBlueCastle.Foronethingshehadquiteafewloversinit.
Oh,
jen
onlyoneatatime.One
kdo
whowooedherwithalltheromanticardouroftheageofchivalrya
andwonherafterlongdevotiona
andmanydeedsofderring-do,a
andwasweddedtohers
withpompandcircumstanceinthevelké
great,banner-hungchapeloftheBlueCastle.Attwelve,
tento
thisloverwasafairladwithgoldencurlsa
andheavenlyblueeyes.Atfifteen,hewastall
a
anddarkandpale,butstále
stillnecessarilyhandsome.Attwenty,hewasascetic,dreamy,spiritual.
Attwenty-five,hehadaclean-cutjaw,slightlygrim,
a
andafacestrongandruggedrathernež
thanhandsome.Valancynevergrewolderthantwenty-fiveinherBlueCastle,
ale
butrecently—veryrecently—herherohadhadreddish,tawnyvlasy
hair,atwistedsmileandamysteriouspast.Idon’tsayValancydeliberatelymurderedtheseloversassheoutgrew
nich
them.Onesimplyfadedawayasanothercame.
Thingsare
velmi
veryconvenientinthisrespectinBlueCastles.Ale
But,onthismorningofherdne
dayoffate,Valancycouldnotnajít
findthekeyofherBlueCastle.Realitypressedonher
příliš
toohardly,barkingatherheelsjako
likeamaddeninglittledog.Shewastwenty-nine,lonely,undesired,ill-favoured—theonlyhomely
dívka
girlinahandsomeclan,withnominulosti
pastandnofuture.Asfarasshecouldlook
zpět
back,lifewasdrabandcolourless,withnotonesinglecrimsonnebo
orpurplespotanywhere.Asfarasshecouldlookforwarditseemedcertaintobejustthe
stejné
sameuntilshewasnothingbutasolitary,malý
littlewitheredleafclingingtoawintrybough.The
okamžiku
momentwhenawomanrealisesže
thatshehasnothingtožít
livefor—neitherlove,duty,purposenorhope—holdsforherthebitternessofsmrti
death.“AndIjusthavetogoonliving
protože
becauseIcan’tstop.Imayhaveto
žít
liveeightyyears,”thoughtValancy,inakindofpanic.“We’re
všichni
allhorriblylong-lived.Itsickensmetothinkofit.”
Shewasgladitwasraining—orrather,shewasdrearilysatisfied
že
thatitwasraining.Therewouldbe
žádný
nopicnicthatday.Thisannualpicnic,wherebyAunt
a
andUncleWellington—onealwaysthoughtoftheminthatsuccession—inevitablycelebratedtheirengagementatapicnicthirtyyearspřed
before,hadbeen,oflateyears,averitablenightmaretoValancy.Byanimpishcoincidenceitwasthesame
den
dayasherbirthdayand,poté
aftershehadpassedtwenty-five,nikdo
nobodyletherforgetit.Muchasshehatedgoingtothepicnic,itwould
nikdy
neverhaveoccurredtohertorebelproti
againstit.Thereseemedtobe
nic
nothingoftherevolutionaryinhernature.A
Andsheknewexactlywhateveryonewouldsaytoheratthepicnic.Strýc
UncleWellington,whomshedislikeda
anddespisedeventhoughhehadfulfilledthehighestStirlingaspiration,“marryingmoney,”wouldsaytoherinapig’swhisper,“Notthinkingofgettingmarriedyet,mydear?”a
andthengooffintothebellowoflaughterwithwhichheinvariablyconcludedhisdullremarks.AuntWellington,ofwhomValancystoodinabjectawe,wouldtellher
o
aboutOlive’snewchiffondressa
andCecil’slastdevotedletter.Valancywouldhaveto
vypadat
lookaspleasedandinterestedasifthedressa
andletterhadbeenhersorelseAuntWellingtonwouldbeoffended.A
AndValancyhadlongagodecidedže
thatshewouldratheroffendGodnež
thanAuntWellington,becauseGodmightforgiveherale
butAuntWellingtonneverwould.AuntAlberta,enormouslyfat,
s
withanamiablehabitofvždy
alwaysreferringtoherhusbandas“he,”asifheweretheonlymalecreatureinthesvětě
world,whocouldneverforgetthatshehadbeenagreatbeautyinheryouth,wouldcondoles
withValancyonhersallowskin—.“Idon’tknow
proč
whyallthegirlsofdnešní
todayaresosunburned.WhenIwasa
holka
girlmyskinwasrosesa
andcream.IwascountedtheprettiestgirlinCanada,mydear.”
Možná
PerhapsUncleHerbertwouldn’tsayanything—ormožná
perhapshewouldremarkjocularly,“Howfatyou’regetting,Doss!”A
Andtheneverybodywouldlaughnad
overtheexcessivelyhumorousideaofpoor,scrawnymalý
littleDossgettingfat.Handsome,solemn
Strýc
UncleJames,whomValancydislikedale
butrespectedbecausehewasreputedtobevelmi
verycleverandwasthereforetheclanoracle—brainsbeingnonepříliš
tooplentifulintheStirlingconnection—wouldpravděpodobně
probablyremarkwiththeowl-likesarcasmthathadwonhimhisreputation,“Isupposeyou’rebusys
withyourhope-chestthesedays?”A
AndUncleBenjaminwouldaskněkteré
someofhisabominableconundrums,mezi
betweenwheezychuckles,andanswerthemhimself.“Whatisthedifference
mezi
betweenDossandamouse?“Themousewishestoharmthecheese
a
andDosswishestocharmthehe’s.”Valancyhadheardhimaskthatriddlefiftytimes
a
andeverytimeshewantedtothrowněco
somethingathim.Butshe
nikdy
neverdid.Inthefirstplace,theStirlingssimplydidnotthrowthings;
in
na
thesecondplace,UncleBenjaminwasawealthya
andchildlessoldwidowerandValancyhadbeenbroughtupinna
thefearandadmonitionofhispeněz
money.Ifsheoffendedhimhewouldcutheroutofhiswill—supposingshewereinit.
ValancydidnotwanttobecutoutofUncleBenjamin’swill.
Shehadbeenpoorallher
život
lifeandknewthegallingbitternessofto
it.Sosheenduredhisriddles
a
andevensmiledtorturedlittlesmilesoverně
them.AuntIsabel,downrightanddisagreeableasaneastwind,wouldcriticiseherinsomeway—Valancycouldnotpredictjusthow,forAuntIsabel
nikdy
neverrepeatedacriticism—shefoundněco
somethingnewwithwhichtojabyoueverytime.AuntIsabelpridedherselfonsayingwhatshethought,
ale
butdidn’tlikeitsowellkdyž
whenotherpeoplesaidwhattheythoughttoher.Valancy
nikdy
neversaidwhatshethought.CousinGeorgiana—named
po
afterhergreat-great-grand-mother,whohadbeennamedpo
afterGeorgetheFourth—wouldrecountdolorouslythenamesofallrelativesa
andfriendswhohaddiedod
sincethelastpicnicandwonder“whichofusbude
willbethefirsttogonext.”Oppressivelycompetent,AuntMildredwouldtalkendlesslyofherhusband
a
andherodiousprodigiesofbabiestoValancy,protože
becauseValancywouldbethejediný
onlyoneshecouldfindtoputups
withit.Forthesamereason,CousinGladys—really
První
FirstCousinGladysonceremoved,accordingtothestrictwayinkterá
whichtheStirlingstabulatedrelationship—atall,thindáma
ladywhoadmittedshehadasensitivedisposition,woulddescribeminutelythetorturesofherneuritis.A
AndOlive,thewondergirlofthewholeStirlingclan,whohadvšechno
everythingValancyhadnot—beauty,popularity,love,—wouldshowoffherbeautya
andpresumeonherpopularitya
andflauntherdiamondinsigniaofloveinValancy’sdazzled,enviouseyes.Therewouldbenoneofallthis
dnes
today.Andtherewouldbe
žádné
nopackingupofteaspoons.Thepackingupwas
vždy
alwaysleftforValancyandCousinStickles.A
Andonce,sixyearsago,asilverteaspoonfromAuntWellington’sweddingsethadbeenlost.Valancy
nikdy
neverheardthelastofthatsilverteaspoon.ItsghostappearedBanquo-likeat
každé
everysubsequentfamilyfeast.Oh,
ano
yes,Valancyknewexactlywhatthepicnicwouldbelikea
andsheblessedtherainkterá
thathadsavedherfromit.Therewouldbe
žádný
nopicnicthisyear.IfAuntWellingtoncouldnotcelebrateonthesacred
den
dayitselfshewouldhavenocelebrationatall.Díky
Thankwhatevergodstherewereforthat.Since
tam
therewouldbenopicnic,Valancymadeuphermindže
that,iftherainheldupintheafternoon,shewouldgouptothelibrarya
andgetanotherofJohnFoster’sbooks.Valancywas
nikdy
neverallowedtoreadnovels,ale
butJohnFoster’sbookswerenotnovels.Theywere“naturebooks”—sothelibrariantoldMrs.FrederickStirling—“all
o
aboutthewoodsandbirdsa
andbugsandthingslikethat,youknow.”SoValancywasallowedto
číst
readthem—underprotest,foritwasonlypříliš
tooevidentthatsheenjoyedthempříliš
toomuch.Itwaspermissible,
dokonce
evenlaudable,toreadtoimproveyourminda
andyourreligion,butakniha
bookthatwasenjoyablewasdangerous.Valancydidnotknowwhetherhermindwasbeingimproved
nebo
ornot;butshefeltvaguely
že
thatifshehadcomeacrossJohnFoster’sbooksyearslety
agolifemighthavebeenajiný
differentthingforher.Theyseemedtohertoyieldglimpsesofa
světa
worldintowhichshemightjednou
oncehaveentered,thoughthedveře
doorwasforeverbarredtohernyní
now.Itwasonlywithinthelast
roku
yearthatJohnFoster’sbookshadbeenintheDeerwoodlibrary,ačkoli
thoughthelibrariantoldValancyže
thathehadbeenawell-knownwriterforseveralyears.“Wheredoeshelive?”
Valancyhadasked.
“Nobodyknows.
Fromhisbookshe
musí
mustbeaCanadian,butžádné
nomoreinformationcanbehad.Hispublisherswon’tsaya
slovo
word.QuitelikelyJohnFosterisanomdeplume.
Hisbooksaresopopularwecan’tkeeptheminatall,
i když
thoughIreallycan’tseewhatlidé
peoplefindinthemtoraveover.”“Ithinkthey’rewonderful,”saidValancy,timidly.
“Oh—well—”
MissClarksonsmiledinapatronisingfashionthatrelegatedValancy’sopinionstolimbo,“Ican’t
říct
sayIcaremuchforbugsmyself.Ale
ButcertainlyFosterseemstovědět
knowallthereistovědět
knowaboutthem.”Valancydidn’tknowwhethershecared
moc
muchforbugseither.ItwasnotJohnFoster’suncannyknowledgeofwildcreatures
a
andinsectlifethatenthralledji
her.Shecouldhardlysaywhatitwas—sometantalisinglureofamystery
nikdy
neverrevealed—somehintofagreatsecretjen
justalittlefurtheron—somefaint,elusiveechooflovely,forgottenthings—JohnFoster’smagicwasindefinable.Ano
Yes,shewouldgetanewFosterbook.ItwasamonthsinceshehadThistleHarvest,sosurely
Matka
Mothercouldnotobject.Valancyhadreaditfourtimes—sheknew
celé
wholepassagesoffbyheart.And—she
málem
almostthoughtshewouldgoa
andseeDr.Trentaboutže
thatqueerpainaroundthesrdce
heart.Ithadcomeratheroftenlately,
a
andthepalpitationswerebecomingannoying,nottospeakofanoccasionaldizzymomenta
andaqueershortnessofbreath.Ale
Butcouldshegotoseehimaniž by
withouttellinganyone?Itwasamostdaringthought.
NoneoftheStirlingseverconsultedadoctor
aniž by
withoutholdingafamilycouncila
andgettingUncleJames’approval.Then,theywenttoDr.AmbroseMarshofPortLawrence,
který
whohadmarriedSecondCousinAdelaideStirling.Ale
ButValancydislikedDr.AmbroseMarsh.A
And,besides,shecouldnotdostat
gettoPortLawrence,fifteenmilesdaleko
away,withoutbeingtakenthere.Shedidnotwantanyonetoknow
o
aboutherheart.Therewouldbesuchafussmade
a
andeverymemberofthefamilywouldpřišel
comedownandtalkitovera
andadviseherandcautionhera
andwarnherandtellherhorribletalesofgreat-auntsa
andcousinsfortytimesremovedkteří
whohadbeen“justlikethat”a
and“droppeddeadwithoutamoment’swarning,mydear.”AuntIsabelwouldrememberthatshehadalwayssaidDosslooked
jako
likeagirlwhowouldhavehearttrouble—“sopincheda
andpeakedalways”;andUncleWellingtonwouldtakeitasapersonalinsult,
když
when“noStirlingeverhadsrdeční
heartdiseasebefore”;andGeorgianawouldforebodeinperfectlyaudibleasides
že
that“poor,dearlittleDossisn’tdlouho
longforthisworld,I’mafraid”;a
andCousinGladyswouldsay,“Why,mysrdce
hearthasbeenlikethatforyears,”inatonethatimpliednooneelsehadanybusinesseventomít
haveaheart;andOlive—Olivewouldmerelylookbeautiful
a
andsuperioranddisgustinglyhealthy,asiftosay,“WhyallthisfussoverafadedsuperfluitylikeDosskdyž
whenyouhaveme?”Valancyfelt
že
thatshecouldn’ttellanybodyunlessshehadto.Shefelt
docela
quitesuretherewasnothingatallseriouslyšpatně
wrongwithherheartandnopotřeba
needofallthepotherthatwouldensuepokud
ifshementionedit.Shewould
prostě
justslipupquietlyandseeDr.Trentthatveryden
day.Asforhisbill,shehadthe
dvě
twohundreddollarsthatherotec
fatherhadputinthebankforhertheden
dayshewasborn.Shewas
nikdy
neverallowedtouseeventheinterestofthis,ale
butshewouldsecretlytakeoutdost
enoughtopayDr.Trent.Dr.
Trentwasagruff,outspoken,absent-mindedoldfellow,
ale
buthewasarecognisedauthorityonheartdisease,i
evenifhewereonlyageneralpractitionerinout-of-the-worldDeerwood.Dr.Trentwas
přes
overseventyandtherehadbeenrumoursže
thathemeanttoretirebrzy
soon.NoneoftheStirlingclanhadevergonetohimsincehehadtoldCousinGladys,
před deseti
tenyearsbefore,thatherneuritiswasallimaginarya
andthatsheenjoyedit.Youcouldn’tpatroniseadoctorwhoinsultedyourfirst-cousin-once-removedlikethat—nottomentionthathewasaPresbyterian
když
whenalltheStirlingswenttotheAnglicanchurch.CHAPTERII
Když
WhenCousinSticklesknockedatherdveře
door,Valancyknewitwashalf-pastsevena
andshemustgetup.Aslongasshecould
vzpomenout
remember,CousinStickleshadknockedatherdveře
doorathalf-pastseven.CousinStickles
a
andMrs.FrederickStirlinghadbeenupod
sinceseven,butValancywasallowedtoležet
lieabedhalfanhourlongerbecauseofafamilytraditionže
thatshewasdelicate.Valancygotup,
i když
thoughshehatedgettingupvíce
morethismorningthanevershehadbefore.